A/N: YAY! A part by me (Steph)! I couldn't think about anything when writing this so please try to ignore the disturbing beginning about my dad..... I can so write better then this! This was written during a writer's block! Please do not judge the whole story through my shit chapter!

Just so you know I'm dieing from my dad's farts =.=;; literally...

Sirius: You're dieing from your dad's farts?

Steph: yea, he's in the toilet doing shit and GOD does it smell, Not to mention my room is right next to the toilet, and I'm at my computer which is in my room and the smell is getting trapped in here with me.

James P: Then let me take you away to 'another' room (steps towards Steph)

Steph: Like hell you will! (goes behind Remus)

Remus: =.=;;

Bel: You keep away from us you sex-crazed bastard!

James P: I am not! I am just emotionally challenged! I can't help that I can't control myself.

Shijin: (looks at James) Why are you laughing?

James: Cause I just thought of the best thing to put next time it's my turn! (HA! Take that Mr Canadian Slang Shit! Now ya gotta put something real good come your turn!)

Shijin: I'm afraid to ask... (pauses) hmm...

Sirius: What is it?

Shijin: Spellcheck doesn't like my name...

All: o..k....

Shijin: Well it doesn't! See? There's a red squiggly line under it!

Sirius: Aww yeah! (sees squiggle) You mustn't be real then! (begins poking Shijin) S

hijin: Hey! Stop that!

Sirius: (continues poking)

James: Where the hell are you taking this anyway? You've crapped on about nothing!

Steph: (stares daggers at James)

James P: Awww, come on Bel, don't be like that!

Bel: (struggles against James P) Let go of me you Perv! (punches James P in face)

James P: Oo (pauses) actually, that turned me on....

Bel: ...shit....

James P: (arm around Bel) I like em feisty!

Bel: Oo

James: (snickers)

Bel: Shut up you! It's all your fault! (points accusingly)

James: What?!

Bel: You made him like this! (gestures to James P)

James: So?

Bel: I will have my revenge...

James: I ain't got no problem with it.

Bel: Yea! That's cause you ain't a girl in the line of fire with this freak!

James: My point exactly! (stupid smile)

Bel: (evil voice) You shall die for your treachery!

James: Like shit I will! (sticks out tongue)

Peter: Are we still in Australia?

James P: course we are you little fuckwit!

Peter: why me?

A/N: Notice there is a lot of language going on here! Also notice how uninventive the author is, trying to create a better story with use of swearing (Steph: HEY!) Admit it! It's true! (Steph: humph) Anywayz... CONTIINUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

James P: let's go to Bel's house!

Bel: (glares)

Sirius: ok! Least I'll save me money this time!

They all suddenly appear at Bel's house

Shijin: That's some drive way you got there! That thing's steep as!

Bel: Never try driving up it... trust me, you'll get stuck...

Everyone enters the house, it is empty. Why you ask? Cause it'd be no fun if her parents were home! Nothing interesting would happen.

James P: So... you got you, you're parents and... how many brothers was it?

Bel: (cautious) ...3

James P: then that's (counts off fingers) 5 bedrooms. HELL YEA!!! (does victory sign)

Bel: You're not thinking what I think you're thinking?! AND DON'T YOU GO STEALIN' MY VICTORY SIGN!!!

James P: come o' feisty one! And we shall... (unable to finish due to being whacked over head by a crow bar)

All: (stare at James P then at Bel)

Bel: What?! (hides crow bar behind back innocently)

Steph: (latches onto Remus' arm) (See Bel! I don't mind being clingy!) (A/N: I may not mind being clingy but I ain't really like that! I ain't no girly-girl people!!!)

Sirius: COME! Let us raid the pantry! (runs to kitchen)

Shijin: YES! RAIDING IS EVIL!!! (follows)

Everyone else: riigghhhtttt......(goes to kitchen leaving James P on floor)

(Off-stage)

Freddy: HEY! Why didn't I get to hit anyone?! That's seriously unfair!

Jason: ........

(yes, I discovered that Jason doesn't talk.... NOW I get it!)

Freddy: Shut up you!

Jason: ........

Freddy: Like hell you could!

(back on-stage)

Steph: Oww! I have a tooth ache. Stupid Mud Cake (and I'm serious I really do Oo remember how I ate the mud cake James? Yea, well it was too sweet and now look at me...) (throws rest of cake)

Bel: Hey! Don't make a mess!

James P: (cake lands on him some how) huh? (wakes up... duh!)

Bel and Steph: (stare at James P with foreboding dread)

James P: what happened? (rubs head) why do I have a lump on my head?

Bel: (quickly hides crow bar in washing machine) (nervous) wouldn't have a clue...

James P: (eyes Bel suspiciously)

All: (holds breath)

James: (snickers then chokes on food) ( :D MWA HA HA!!! Take that evil slang man!)

Sirius: (hits James on back in hope to un-lodge food)

James: Oi! Stop that! It doesn't help you idiot!

Sirius: (stops) ok

James: Your story sucks... AGAIN!

Steph: Shut it slang man!

James: Make me bitch!

Steph: Bring it on dipshit!

James P: HOLD IT ASS HOLE!!! (grabs James' collar holding him back)

James: Oi! What do you think you're doing?

Steph: (sneaks outta scene with Bel and crew)

Bel: HA HA! We escaped the treacherous Jameses!!! Long live US!!! (does victory sign) And no one, NO ONE, steals my victory sign!!!

Steph: (back on Remus)

Remus: Why me?

Steph: Just cause! (smiles broadly)

Remus: just.... cause?

Shijin: Oi! You forget about me or something?

All: (stare at Shijin)

Steph: Actually... yea we did forget.

Shijin: HOW CAN I BE EVIL IF I'M NOT EVEN IN THE STORY!!!!

Bel: I dunno, you're the evil master mind...

Shijin: (proud) Why yes I am!

Sirius: This story's getting boring.... Stop crapping on and get something to happen already!

Peter: So far this is three pages of nothingness....

Sirius: You're still here?

Peter: course I am!

Sirius:.... why?

Peter: =.=;;

Sirius: THIS IS BORING!!! HURRY UP!!!

James: There you all are!!!

James P: you trying to ditch us or something?

Bel: damn.... They found us....

Shijin: Quick! To Steph's house! We can loose them there!

Suddenly they appear at Steph's house. Now be careful, you don't wanna go to the toilet here! There ain't no toilet paper... (all: riigghhtttt.......) It's true! Anyway...

Shijin: Hurry! Under the bed! They'll never find us there!

Steph: No! wai--- damn too late (everyone goes under bed)

Sirius: Shit! What the hell is under here?! It's bloody dangerous!

Toilet paper minion: HAHA! Hostages for our war on people!

Bel: WTF?! Toilet paper minion: (gags her with paper)

Steph: (sweatdrops) so that's where all the toilet paper went...

James P: I know you're in here!

James: 'WE' know you're in here...

James P: Again what is with this 'we' business?

James: =.= shut up you

Toilet paper minion: We are minions dedicated to the Almighty Pineapple! You are compelled by our power!!!

James: What in the name of God is that?!?!?!

James P: of all people you should know there is no god!

James: I said shut up!

Toilet paper minion: Hey! Focus back here! (gestures to self)

Leonard: NO LOOK AT ME YOU FOOLS!!!!

Toilet paper Minion: Where'd you come from?

Leonard: None o' your beeswax! (looks around) Belinda my love! What have they done to you?! (un-gags Bel) Are you alright my sweet future wife? (attempts to hug Bel)

Bel: (struggles away) Get off me faggot!

Leonard: (loving sigh)

James: I see an opportunity arise!

All: ?????

James: Like I said before: "the maccing has only JUST BEGUN!!!!"

Bel: (extremely apprehensive) What are you getting at?

James: Two words...

Bel: What?

James: Chop chop...

BeL: Oo (runs)

James: LHAO (note h = his)

James P: So who gets it?

James: =.= Shove it 'P' man! (pushes James P outta scene)

A/N: Bet you're wondering what the hell the Almighty Pineapple is? Well, in this scene Bel wanted a mango ice drink thingy, so they're looking around the shopping centre for a drink shop. This scene is just before the CLD (chinese love dance) scene.

Remus: (raises eyebrow) The Almighty Pineapple?

James P: yea-h.... (looks suspiciously at it)

Bel: Hey! You don't have any mango!

Lady: Read the sign twit! PINEAPPLE!

Man: So... Wanna pineapple?

Bel: NO! I want MANGO!

Man: Well you're not getting MANGO, you're gonna have PINEAPPLE!

Steph: then we'll just have to go to another shop mate.

Lady: Oh no you won't! You're gonna have pineapple!

Peter: Why?

Lady: So we can 'convert' you! MWA HA HA HA HA HA!

All: ???

Man; You shall bow down to the power of the Almighty Pineapple!

James P: Who the hell are you people?!

Man; We believe in the Almighty Pineapple, we follow the religion of Fruitism, and now you shall join us!

Remus: But wouldn't that mean you follow all types of fruit?

Man: How DARE you contradict our beliefs!

Lady: Our goal in life is to convert everyone under the power and greatness of the Almighty Pineapple!

Sirius: You've got to be kidding me....

Lady: There'll be no kidding around here little boy. Now surrender or be Fruitified (aims nozzle of pineapple juice at us)

James P, Sirius and Remus: (step forward protectively in front of Steph, Bel and Peter) (brings out wands at the ready)

(offstage)

Sirius: Hey! You wanna get us expelled or something?! We can't do magic outside of school!

Steph: Well it's my fic so I can do ANYTHING! Such as NOT get you expelled! (hint hint – as in I can do whatever I like)

Sirius: Oh... right, that's ok then! (back on stage)

Lady; So – Not gunna give in hey? Fine! Have it your way you little ungrateful anti-pineappleists! (about to spray them with pineapple acids)

Remus: Oh no you don't! EXPELLIARMUS! (the nozzles went flying out of the Man and Lady's hands)

James P: Flipendo! (the pineapple juice tanks blew up)

Sirius: Wingardium Leviosa!

All: What the...? (looks up) oh!

Floating in the air above the Man and Lady was a Giant Pineapple that was placed on display at the top of the shop.

Sirius: (smirk) ( puts down wand causing giant pineapple to fall)

Man and Lady: Ahhhhh!!!!!

James: I think you just killed them mate...

Sirius: (shrugs)