Raven woke up in a white room, the ceiling didn't look like hers. She didn't know where she was and started to freak out. She heard the rapid beeping next to her, within a second someone stood beside her holding her hand.

"Raven it's okay. You are safe." The voice next to her said. She turned her head to see Lexa standing next to her, with Octavia right behind them.

She tried to talk, but her throat was hurting.

"Shh don't try to talk. Try to breathe slowly." Octavia said.

This is when she noticed something was in her throat, she started to freak out again, when a nurse rushed in.

"Ms. Reyes please try to relax we will take the tube out now. Just breathe."

Raven did as told and felt something being pulled out of her throat. She tried to move more but couldn't. Her body wasn't responding. She wanted to talk but still couldn't.

"Raven please relax. You have been in a medical coma for a few days now. We had to put you through rapid detox. We tried with you being awake, but you kept screaming and passing out." The doctor next to her said.

She knew the voice, it was so familiar, but she couldn't place it.

"Please keep her calm. The nurse will bring some ice chips. The drip is keeping her hydrated and giving her some nutrition. Hopefully later in the day she can have some solid food, but for now she needs to relax."

"Thanks Ms. Griffin." Lexa said still looking at Raven stroking her hair.


"Hey Clarke, I wanted to let you know Raven is awake." Abby said into her phone. She knew she was breaking several laws, but her daughter got her to talk after a few glasses of wine several nights ago, worrying why her mother has been so stressed and worried.

"Thank god. Will she be okay?"

"Yes she will be fine. Now she will have to work every day to stay sober."

"I never thought this would happen to her. I should go see her."

"Clarke, I don't think that is the best idea. She needs rest and seeing you will most likely stress her."

"But mom, she is, was, my friend. I should be there for her." Clarke pleaded

"Clarke I cannot stop you from seeing her. I just want to make it clear to you that this is not a good idea." Abby said and hung up. She couldn't tell Clarke that Lexa and Octavia where there. She wanted her daughter to be happy again, but she didn't want those three girls hurt again.

She saw what happened when Clarke left. How they all fell some harder then others. Saw the pain in their eyes. When lexa walk into her house to take the pictures she tried to reason with her, but Lexa didn't care. She only said that the pictures were lies and left.

For two weeks Clarke has been back at the House. They were trying to mend their relationship, but it was difficult. They both had resentment left and anger. She saw how her daughter was, she saw how broken she was. She also saw this in the three women upstairs in the Hospital. None of them truly moved on, they each carried baggage with them.


Clarke was pacing up the street in front of the Hospital. She knew she shouldn't be there, but she had to see Raven. She had to explain what happened, they needed to know her story. Not the bits and pieces that came up.

This was the hospital where everything changed. Where she nearly died, where Finn did die. Where the world she knew collapsed and she was left with regret, hate and sadness

She wanted to go inside, but she was scared. She didn't know how Raven will react, yet alone the memories this place holds. She wanted to laugh at herself for getting emotional about a hospital.

"What do you think you are doing here Clarke?" A voice came from behind her making her jump. She turned around to see the one person she was most afraid off.

"Lexa.." She whispered to herself.

"Get out of here."

"No, I need to see Raven."

"I don't give a damn what you need Clarke. Leave now."

"Please Lexa. Let me explain."

"No, I don't want to hear it Clarke. You left, just like that. Whatever you want to say, save it."

"Please Lexa. I know I messed up, but I have to apologize."

"For what Clarke?! For sleeping with your best friends boyfriend or for telling me you are in love with me, kissing me and then running off to sleep with Finn?" Lexa was yelling at the blonde looking at her with hate and disgust.

"I am sorry. I was lost, I was scared, I was..."

"No Clarke, save it. I don't want to hear it. Just leave us alone."

"Lex, you coming?" A woman with brown hair was approaching Clarke and Lexa, looking worried. She heard her girlfriend yelling and knew this couldn't be good.

"Yes, sorry babe. Let's go." Lexa turned around without saying a word to Clarke. Taking the hand of the mystery woman in her own, pressing a quick kiss on her lips and walking into the hospital.

Clarke stood there stunned, tears running down her face.

I messed up. I lost everything.


"Who was that Lex?"

"Clarke."

"No way. I am sorry babe."

"It's fine. I honestly thought I wouldn't have to see her ever again."

"I understand sweetheart. Come on, let's go see Raven." Costia said tugging her girlfriend along. She knew Lexa didn't want to discuss Clarke, ever.

Once they got into the hospital room, Raven was sitting up in her bed chatting with Octavia. Lexa smiled seeing them talking. She knew they had a lot of issues, but they were best friends and they will get through this.

"Hey you two, what happened with my ocffee?" Octavia asked, she sent them to get coffee a few minutes ago.

"Oh shit, sorry Octavia, we forgot." Costia said not wanting them to know what happened. Raven looked at both of them seeing they were hiding something.

"Spit it out you two. What happened?" She asked

Lexa looked uncomfortable, but knew she had to say something. She couldn't lie, lies is what tore them apart.

"Clarke, she was outside."

"Fuck sake, I am gonna punch her"

"O, don't." Raven said. Everyone turned around and looked at her surprised.

"I am not happy she is back, but let's face it, cause of her we are talking."

The girls nodded and moved on from the topic. Costia felt a little on the outside. She didn't know much about Clarke, and the things she did know just angered her. She just hoped one day Lexa would tell her what happened.


It has been a few days since Raven was in the hospital. She is now back home, on her bed relaxing. She went through her whole place with Octavia and they got rid of every drop of alcohol. Raven could do this, she could stay sober. She felt like shit emotionally, physically she felt fine.

During the day she was acting though having Octavia around taking care of her, at night she felt alone in her bed. Sometimes Octavia stayed over, sometimes it was Lexa. Both of them refused to let her be alone, but what she wanted most was to just be alone for a little while.

She was ready to heal. The last 5 years tore her apart. Finn dying, finding out the reason why the car went over the ditch, Clarke having betrayed her trust, finding Lexa on the bathroom floor. What really got her knocked down was when Octavia started dating again. She didn't know why, but every time her friend gushed about Lincoln she felt horrible. She was grieving loosing Finn, Clarke and nearly Lexa. It didn't take long for Octavia and Lincoln to get serious and Raven was scared, she didn't know why she was feeling horrible. She lost so much, but this she couldn't handle. Raven started to withdraw and turned to alcohol. Octavia hasn't said anything about her boyfriend and she was too scared to mentioned him.

"Raven, what do you want to eat?" Octavia asked while walking inside the room.

"Nothing, I feel well, I feel."

"It's okay, don't worry. I'll make you something and you can eat it later. I have to leave in an hour. Lexa will come by after."

"Where do you have to go?"

"Oh I didn't tell you? I have to talk to Bellamy, he is helping Lincoln with something."

"Oh okay." Raven looked away trying to hide the hurt in her eyes. Octavia was still seeing him.

"Raven, are you okay?"

"Yeah sure, don't worry."

"No Raven, what is it?"

"I can't Octavia okay. Just go be with him and be happy. Just leave me alone!" Raven yelled.

"What the hell Rae? What is wrong now?"

"Nothing just go!" Raven got up and pushed Octavia away.

"Stop it Raven" You are acting like a child."

"So what, let me be."

"No not until you tell me what's going on."

"It's nothing. Just leave me alone, I don't want to look at you."

Octavia was shaking her head, she didn't know what was going on with her friend and she was worried. She went back into the kitchen and mad some porridge. Every time she heard noises from the bedroom she wanted to run back in, make Raven talk, but something stopped her.

She knew back then, even after everything Raven was strong, she only started to slip away once Octavia started seeing Lincoln. Lincoln was her rock, he helped her deal with the hurt and anger. She felt guilty leaving Raven behind, but she didn't know what to do any more.

It's been 2 years since her and Lincoln have been together, they stayed friends, but a relationship was not possible. Both of them had issues to work through and now being friends was easier.

The door opened and Lexa walked in stopping in front of her.

"O, what's up?"

"Sorry, Lexa. Raven is a little on edge. She kicked me out of the room."

"I am sorry O, I'll go talk to her."

"It's okay. She is just on edge. I made some food for her. I gotta go see Bellamy and Lincoln."

"Alright, have a good time. If anything happens I'll let you know." Octavia hugged Lexa and left the house. She desperately wanted to go to the other room, but was afraid of what will happen.

Raven walked out of her room once she heard Octavia leave. Lexa was standing in the kitchen drinking some water.

"You have to tell her Raven."

"I know."

"You love her."

"I know."

Raven started to cry, Lexa has known all along about the feelings her friend carried. She held her friend in her arms, not knowing what to say. Lexa has watched Raven pine after Octavia for years, even before everything changed, her two friends always had a special connection. It was finally time to put everything in the past and move forward together.


Authors note: Thanks for reading. I hope you all enjoy this story so far. I know how I want this story to play out, but writing it is another story. Thanks for reading, let me know what you think.

Thanks to redwrex and delta, hopefully I won't disappoint, the pressure is on now :P