SM: Hi everyone! waves Read & Review!
On with the ficcy!
Yoh's house
It had taken a long time but Ren had finally started getting out of his room. He was unsure around his friends and hadn't wanted to look at them; however they didn't act like he thought they would. They were normal; no one asked him anything about what he did which he was grateful for. But he knew that they thought that his mind was temperamental and that he would start on his suicidal bit again.
Both Ren and Yoh tried acting normal around everyone, but they never made eye contact. Yoh was trying to avoid Ren's eyes because he didn't want Ren to know how much he had hurt him under the skin and Ren didn't want to see the pain he had caused. Everyone understood the situation and didn't want to say anything about it, but it was obvious that it pleased one person in the household. Anna had started acting happier, she didn't shout as much as usual, meaning that she only made four people cry a day except the usual six.
One day everyone decided to go out, that is everyone excluding two. Ren had said that he wasn't in the mood; no one dared say anything in complaint to his not going mainly because they could see that he was definitely not in the mood. Yoh said that he wanted to be alone think, "Try not to hurt your head." Horo said jokily.
Ren was downstairs sitting on the far end of the sofa reading when Yoh came in and ignored his only companion for the day. Well at least he was acting like he was ignoring him; he was really trying to take in everything about Ren without the younger knowing it. Yoh sat down on the other end of the sofa and turned on the TV. Ren tried to ignore the noise but couldn't concentrate with the background sound.
Ren turned to Yoh and said, trying to keep his temper down, "Yoh, can you please turn the television off? I am trying to read here."
Yoh looked at Ren and shook his head. "I want to watch my favourite show and there's only one TV. You can go and read somewhere else."
Ren was absolutely shocked; Yoh had never spoken to anybody like that and especially not to Ren. "I was here first." He said jerkily.
"That means it's someone else's turn to be in here." Yoh said simply.
Ren finally lost his temper at the Japanese shaman. "What's your problem!"
Yoh stood up. "First you tell me what's yours!"
Ren stood as well. "You can't boss me around!"
"Yes I can!"
"Why!"
"Because I am shaman king and you are beneath me!"
Ren stared at Yoh; he had never pulled the shaman king card on anyone, let alone use it to make people fell lesser. Ren had never been told that he was beneath anyone, he was a Tao and as such was used to being treated a certain way, which does not include being told that he was beneath his first and best friend. He hated to admit it but it had hurt his feelings deep down, he hadn't had friends for very long and being told that he was beneath one of them was not what he needed to be sure that he really wanted any.
Yoh realised that he had hurt the young Tao's feelings. He wanted to go up to him and hug him till he was sure that his friend was alright but he knew that that wasn't an option. Ren would never let anyone near him when his feelings were hurt. Yoh felt his heart pound harder as he looked at the golden eyes that seemed very confused. "Ren?" Yoh asked carefully. "I didn't mean it. I just wanted to know why you suddenly don't love me anymore."
A light seemed to flash in Ren's eyes. "I have already told you."
"Come on, Ren! It feels different, isn't an answer. Tell me why not!"
"I don't need to explain myself to you!"
Yoh walked up to Ren and grabbed him by the shoulders. "Give me a real answer." Yoh hissed.
Ren mumbled. "A Tao cannot love."
"You don't really believe that do you?" Yoh said in shock. "I thought you were smarter then that."
"Well I'm not. Now let me go!" Ren screamed trying to get out of the taller shamans grip.
"Ren!" Yoh growled. "Are you saying that you have stopped loving me because of a stupid saying? It is not true and you know it!"
"It is true! That's why I don't love you!" Ren looked down. "I don't think I ever did. I was using you as a cure for my pain. I don't want to use you anymore, Yoh. You are my best and first friend and I still care about you."
Yoh tightened his grip on the smaller boy. "I don't care if you are using me. I just want to be with you. I love you." He then let go of the younger and took a step back. "A Tao can love and I thought I had gained it, I knew that I had gained it."
Ren looked up at Yoh. "It wasn't love. I am incapable of love, of having someone love me." Yoh was going to say something but Ren cut him of. "What you feel towards me isn't love. I know it isn't, it's you feeling sorry for me."
Yoh shook his head. "I know what I feel. And its love for you." Yoh and Ren where both silent in thought, the TV turned to a music video of 'The Reason' by Hoobastank, (SM: Don't own. But I do love this song.)
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You x4
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
Ren and Yoh both sighed at the end of the song. Yoh looked at Ren; he loved simply looking at the Chinese teen, he loved everything about Ren's appearance, as well as his personality. Ren knew that Yoh was looking at him, he moved slightly under Yoh's intense stare. "Yoh, you're right I am beneath you. You deserve better than me."
"That's a lie." Yoh replied softly. "You are beneath no one. You are absolute perfection." He walked up to the younger and cupped his chin, pulling it up slightly so he could gaze into the golden orbs that mystified the older. "And perfection is beneath no man."
Ren laughed softly. "But you are not a man." Yoh smiled at him, and then Ren frowned. "That doesn't change the fact that you deserve better, you should love someone that loves you back."
"I love you, I don't need anyone else." Yoh gently brushed their lips together to show his affection towards the other, they had kissed many times but this one was different because Yoh used it in a reassuring way, which Ren didn't need often.
Ren closed his eyes then snapped his head out of Yoh's grasp. "Leave me alone." Ren growled.
This made the older sigh; he thought that he had been getting through to Ren. "I can't. I need you."
Ren growled under his breath. Why doesn't Yoh get it? He thought angrily, I don't need him. Why does he need me? Why does he keep saying that he needs me? I know he doesn't. "Go find someone else to need." Ren spat.
"I don't want anyone else but you." Yoh said sadly. Why won't he believe me? When he was dead I felt like I was dieing. Yoh thought desperately.
"What about your fiancé." Ren asked.
"What about Anna?"
"You have her. She loves you, that's why she hates me, because she knows that you love me. Anna is not the type who likes competition over her man, especially not with a man."
Yoh stared at Ren wide eyed, "Anna really loves me?" Ren nodded. "How do you know?"
"It doesn't take a genius to figure it out. The looks she gives you. It's obvious. She's in love with you." Ren scoffed folding his arms.
Yoh thought quickly, he cared for Anna like a sister not a fiancé. He was going to marry her until he told Ren how he felt and heard Ren say he felt the same, the first time he saw Ren he knew he was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. But Yoh didn't love Anna and he had to try and get Ren back. "It doesn't matter." Yoh stated simply.
"Of course it matters! You have always thought that Anna hated you and simply wanted to become shaman queen! Well you're the king so why hasn't she taken the opportunity! Because she loves you and wants you to love her back before you get married!" Ren tried to calm himself down, it was like talking to an impudent squirrel, this meaning an idiot. "So go fall in love with her! And LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Tears started to find their way to Yoh's eyes. His heart was now not only pulled out by Ren but it was now smashed into the floor, grinded into a pulp, put into a liquidizer and pressed on purée then tossed to ravage, rabid dogs. Yoh tried to blink away the tears; he wouldn't let Ren see him cry again, he knew that Ren will feel sorry for causing Yoh to cry and this will only add to Ren's depression for causing people pain, Yoh didn't want Ren to hurt himself over him.
"Fine." Yoh mumbled. "If you want me to leave you alone that badly, I will. But it won't change how I feel. I will marry Anna if that makes you feel better."
It took allof Ren's will power not look at Yoh. "That's not what I want. I want you to be happy. You can't be happy with me. Not truly. Anna can give you something I can't, love." Ren walked out of the room still talking. "I'm sorry, Yoh. But you have to accept the truth. I hope you can forgive and get over me."
A while after Ren had left Yoh slumped onto the floor crying. "I don't want to get over you! I love you! Only you! No one else!" His tears fell from his face and splashed onto the floor. "Always!" He tried to get up but his strength deserted him. So he lay crying on the floor, confessing his undying love.
Some time later everyone got back. They walked into the main room and gasped at the sight that greeted them. Yoh was on the floor crying and breathing heavily, he had given up speech long before. Everyone ran to him to find out what was wrong with him. He only managed to say two words before he got consumed by his tears again, "Ren . . . Love."
They all looked at each other in surprise. Anna growled, "That Tao is going to pay for hurting my Yoh's feelings." Then she marched upstairs hoping to torture heir to the Tao family.
Ren was able to hear Yoh sobbing from his room; he tried to block it out by meditating, however that idea was proven useless when his mind kept wondering if Yoh was alright. He heard the others arrive and find Yoh; he knew something bad was going to happen.
Anna stormed into Ren's room, making the lock fly off. "There's a lock on doors for reason." Ren noted. "It means I don't want anyone to come in."
She stood next to Ren, completely enraged by him. "I don't care what you want!" She screeched. "What did you do to my Yoh?"
"I did what you wanted." Ren got out of his crossed-legged position on his bed and faced Anna. "You wanted Yoh all to yourself. You have him. I won't get in your way any longer." Ren was fuming. "You love him so much, have him! I don't care what you do with him!"
"SHUT UP!" Anna was angry at Ren for talking like Yoh was simply a toy he could get bored with and throw away. "What did you say to him?"
"I told him that I didn't love him and that he should get over me." Ren said calmly.
Anna stared at him. "Good I am his fiancé not you. But that doesn't change the fact that you have deeply upset Yoh. He is in the main room crying on the floor. Go and apologise." She ordered.
"No." Ren said simply and turned away from her.
"Apologise to Yoh right now!"
"Make me!" Ren replied. "Besides I don't think he wants to see me right now."
Anna slapped him so hard he fell to the floor. "I don't care if you are the son of the most feared, richest and strongest families in China. We are not in China and you can't always get your way."
"I don't see what your problem is. You wanted Yoh, have him." Ren said nonchalantly. "No ones going to stop you."
"You will regret hurting my Yoh." Anna turned to leave but stopped at the now broken door. "Thanks for backing off willingly. Otherwise I would have made you." She then closed the door and left Ren with a sense of impending doom.
With me--
SM: Please review. I really want to know what people think about it.
