Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER I OWN NOTHING

Trent: Say Courtney, can I ask you a question?

Courtney Monster: Sure.

Trent: Well, you know Duncan Monster upstairs?

Courtney Monster: Uh huh.

Trent: Well, he's Duncan Monster, and your Courtney Monster.

Courtney Monster: Right.

Trent: Your both monsters.

Courtney Monster: Yeah.

Trent: Are you two related?

Courtney Monster: What?! Trent, I'm surprised at you! I find that racist!

Trent: Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking!

Courtney Monster: Well, it's a touchy subject. No, not all monsters are related. What are you trying to say, huh? That we all look the same to you? Huh, huh, huh?

Trent: No, no, no, not at all. I'm sorry, I guess that was a bit racist.

Courtney Monster: I should say so. You should be much more careful when your talking about the sensitive subject of race.

Trent: well look who's talking.

Courtney Monster: What do you mean?

Trent: What about that special monster school you told me about?

Courtney Monster: What about it?

Trent: Could someone like me go there?

Courtney Monster: No, we don't want people like you.

Trent: You see?! You're a little bit racist.

Courtney Monster: Well, you're a little bit too.

Trent: I guess were both a little bit racist.

Courtney Monster: Admitting it is not an easy thing to do.

Trent: But I guess its true.

Courtney Monster: Between me and you, I think.

Both: Everyone's a little bit racist sometimes, doesn't mean we go around committing hate crimes. Look around and you will find no ones really colorblind. Maybe it's a fact we all should face, everyone makes judgments on race.

Trent: Now not big judgments , like who to hire or who to buy a newspaper from.

Courtney Monster: Nooo.

Trent: no just little judgments like thinking Mexican busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!

Courtney Monster: Right!

Both: Everyone's a little bit racist today. So, everyone's a little bit racist, okay! Ethnic jokes may be uncouth, but you laugh because they're based on truth, don't take them as personal attacks. Everyone enjoys them so relax!

Trent: All right, stop me if you've heard this one.

Courtney Monster: Okay.

Trent: There's a plane going down and there's only one parachute. And there's a rabbi, a priest…

Courtney Monster: And a black guy!

Trent: Yeah!

DJ: What you talking about Courtney?!

Courtney Monster: Uhhh.

DJ: You were telling a black joke!

Trent: Well, sure, DJ, but lots of people tell black jokes.

DJ: I Don't!

Trent: Well, of course you don't -you're black! But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right?

DJ: Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks!

Trent: Now, don't you think that's a little racist?

DJ: Well, damn, I guess your right.

Courtney Monster: You're a little bit racist.

DJ: Well, you're a little bit too.

Trent: We're all a little bit racist.

DJ: I think that I would have to agree with you.

Trent and Courtney: We're glad you do.

DJ: It's sad but true. Everyone's a little bit racist, alright.

Courtney Monster: Alright.

Trent: Alright.

DJ: Alright, bigotry has never been exclusively white.

All: If we could all admit that we are racist a little bit, even though we all know that it's wrong. Maybe it would help us get along.

Trent: Oh, Christ do I feel good.

DJ: Now there's a fine outstanding black man!

Trent: Who?

DJ: Jesus Christ!

Courtney Monster: But DJ Jesus was white.

DJ: No Jesus was black.

Courtney Monster: No Jesus was white.

DJ: No, I'm pretty sure Jesus was black.

Trent: Guys, guys… Jesus was Jewish!…

Owen: Hey guys, what are you laughing about?

DJ: Racism.

Owen: Cool.

Sadie: Owen! Come back here! You take out lecycuraburs!

Trent: what's that mean?

Owen: Um, recyclables… Hey, don't laugh at her! How many languages do you speak?

Courtney Monster: Oh, come off it, Owen! Everyone's a little bit racist.

Owen: I'm not!

Trent: Oh no!

Owen: Nope! How many oriental wives have you got?

Sadie: What? Owen!

Trent: Owen, buddy, where you been? The term is Asian-American!

Sadie: I know you are no intending to be, but calling me orienter -offensive to me!

Owen: I'm sorry honey, I love you.

Sadie: And I love you.

Owen: But your racist too.

Sadie: Yes, I know. The Jews have all the money and the whites have all the power, and I'm always stuck in taxi-cab with driver who no shower!

Trent: Me too!

Courtney Monster: Me Too!

DJ: I can't even get a taxi!

All: Everyone's a little bit racist it's true. But everyone is just as racist as you! If we could just admit that we are racist a little bit. And everyone stopped being PC. Maybe we could live in harmony.

Sadie: Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!

END CHAPTER 4

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