Chapter 4
DISCLAIMER I OWN NOTHING
Trent: Say Courtney, can I ask you a question?
Courtney Monster: Sure.
Trent: Well, you know Duncan Monster upstairs?
Courtney Monster: Uh huh.
Trent: Well, he's Duncan Monster, and your Courtney Monster.
Courtney Monster: Right.
Trent: Your both monsters.
Courtney Monster: Yeah.
Trent: Are you two related?
Courtney Monster: What?! Trent, I'm surprised at you! I find that racist!
Trent: Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking!
Courtney Monster: Well, it's a touchy subject. No, not all monsters are related. What are you trying to say, huh? That we all look the same to you? Huh, huh, huh?
Trent: No, no, no, not at all. I'm sorry, I guess that was a bit racist.
Courtney Monster: I should say so. You should be much more careful when your talking about the sensitive subject of race.
Trent: well look who's talking.
Courtney Monster: What do you mean?
Trent: What about that special monster school you told me about?
Courtney Monster: What about it?
Trent: Could someone like me go there?
Courtney Monster: No, we don't want people like you.
Trent: You see?! You're a little bit racist.
Courtney Monster: Well, you're a little bit too.
Trent: I guess were both a little bit racist.
Courtney Monster: Admitting it is not an easy thing to do.
Trent: But I guess its true.
Courtney Monster: Between me and you, I think.
Both: Everyone's a little bit racist sometimes, doesn't mean we go around committing hate crimes. Look around and you will find no ones really colorblind. Maybe it's a fact we all should face, everyone makes judgments on race.
Trent: Now not big judgments , like who to hire or who to buy a newspaper from.
Courtney Monster: Nooo.
Trent: no just little judgments like thinking Mexican busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!
Courtney Monster: Right!
Both: Everyone's a little bit racist today. So, everyone's a little bit racist, okay! Ethnic jokes may be uncouth, but you laugh because they're based on truth, don't take them as personal attacks. Everyone enjoys them so relax!
Trent: All right, stop me if you've heard this one.
Courtney Monster: Okay.
Trent: There's a plane going down and there's only one parachute. And there's a rabbi, a priest…
Courtney Monster: And a black guy!
Trent: Yeah!
DJ: What you talking about Courtney?!
Courtney Monster: Uhhh.
DJ: You were telling a black joke!
Trent: Well, sure, DJ, but lots of people tell black jokes.
DJ: I Don't!
Trent: Well, of course you don't -you're black! But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right?
DJ: Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks!
Trent: Now, don't you think that's a little racist?
DJ: Well, damn, I guess your right.
Courtney Monster: You're a little bit racist.
DJ: Well, you're a little bit too.
Trent: We're all a little bit racist.
DJ: I think that I would have to agree with you.
Trent and Courtney: We're glad you do.
DJ: It's sad but true. Everyone's a little bit racist, alright.
Courtney Monster: Alright.
Trent: Alright.
DJ: Alright, bigotry has never been exclusively white.
All: If we could all admit that we are racist a little bit, even though we all know that it's wrong. Maybe it would help us get along.
Trent: Oh, Christ do I feel good.
DJ: Now there's a fine outstanding black man!
Trent: Who?
DJ: Jesus Christ!
Courtney Monster: But DJ Jesus was white.
DJ: No Jesus was black.
Courtney Monster: No Jesus was white.
DJ: No, I'm pretty sure Jesus was black.
Trent: Guys, guys… Jesus was Jewish!…
Owen: Hey guys, what are you laughing about?
DJ: Racism.
Owen: Cool.
Sadie: Owen! Come back here! You take out lecycuraburs!
Trent: what's that mean?
Owen: Um, recyclables… Hey, don't laugh at her! How many languages do you speak?
Courtney Monster: Oh, come off it, Owen! Everyone's a little bit racist.
Owen: I'm not!
Trent: Oh no!
Owen: Nope! How many oriental wives have you got?
Sadie: What? Owen!
Trent: Owen, buddy, where you been? The term is Asian-American!
Sadie: I know you are no intending to be, but calling me orienter -offensive to me!
Owen: I'm sorry honey, I love you.
Sadie: And I love you.
Owen: But your racist too.
Sadie: Yes, I know. The Jews have all the money and the whites have all the power, and I'm always stuck in taxi-cab with driver who no shower!
Trent: Me too!
Courtney Monster: Me Too!
DJ: I can't even get a taxi!
All: Everyone's a little bit racist it's true. But everyone is just as racist as you! If we could just admit that we are racist a little bit. And everyone stopped being PC. Maybe we could live in harmony.
Sadie: Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!
END CHAPTER 4
READ, REVIEW
