Okay, here's the conversation you've been waiting for! (Well one of them) Enjoy!
Part 4
Calina waited at the coffee shopwhere she had arranged to meet Stella. She wasn't sure what was compelling her to relay information that wasn't relevant to the obviously dedicated detective's case, only to HER personal life, but something was telling her it wa a good time to do so.
"Hey." The quiet voice jolted her out of her reverie. Stella stood there, smiling at the younger woman.
"Is for horses," Calina twinkled. Stella laughed, then sat.
"What'd ya want to talk about? Something you remembered?"
Calina shook her blond head. "No, it's not relevant to your case. Something's telling me that you're at a crossroads in your life, and it just feels like..." She bit her lip. "This sounds presumptous, but it feels like sharing something with you may help you make the right decision."
Stella was stumped. "Huh?"
Calina shook her head. "Remember when I told you I'd seen that look on MY face before? I told you..."
"It was a novel-length story."
"Well, it is. There's something about you that reminds me of me two or so years ago." Calina paused. "Can I ask you something and have you be honest with me? It won't go any further than us unless you tell me it's okay."
Stella grew wary. "Depends on the question."
"Stella, do you love Detective Taylor? Mac?"
To say Ms. Bonasera was startled was like saying the sun was a light. She really hadn't understood that she was transparent until someone who'd known her barely a day pointed out what she'd been trying to bury.
Calina sighed. "That's enough answer for me."
"How...?"
Calina's smile was full of wry sadness. "When you've lived through a rare kind of love, you learn to recognize it in someone else."
Stella smiled sympathetically. "You and Matt?"
Calina nodded.
Stella sighed. "Tell me about him."
Calina smiled again. "Did you know we'd been best friends forever?"
"No."
"Well we had. We met as 6-year-olds. He threw a caterpillar at me, I stuffed sand down his shirt, and we decided to be friends."
Stella laughed heartily. "Sounds like the start to a great friendship."
"Tell me. We met Audra in second grade and she became the third musketeer, or third Stooge, depending on who you ask. She's always been my best girl friend, but Matt...he was my true BEST friend."
Stella nodded. "I know that feeling. When did it change for you?"
Calina looked thoughtful. "When I thought I might lose him to his last girlfriend. He played the field, but I knew he was my pal. He'd never let the ladies come between us. But when he started getting serious about Angie, I started getting jealous. He'd been MY friend first, not HER boyfriend. I ranted and raved to Audra about Angie. She was TOO sweet, TOO nice, TOO perfect! She was obviously hiding something big. One day, Audra laughed at me. LAUGHED! I was SO mad at her. Then she said something that made me stop dead in my tracks."
Stella was fascinated. "What."
"She said, 'The only thing that's a threat to you and Matt is you. Don't you know he's been crazy...romantically in love with you...since you started dating Scott?' Well, you could have knocked me over with air. Then Audra went on to tell me that HE'd ranted and raved to HER about Scott, who had been out of the picture for six months. She said she felt like Dear Abby."
"Then what happened?"
"Oh I denied it of course. This was MATT, my buddy, my partner in crime! No way was I in love with him. Then I realized WHY I'd never been able to commit to anyone fully. Matt was more to me than a friend. He was my soul mate. I sat down HARD and nearly hit the floor when I figured that out."
Stella laughed. "I can imagine. So at the risk of repeating myself..."
"I waited. I wanted Matt to be happy and Angie made him so. Besides, Audra could have been wrong. She'd been wrong before. About a month later, Angie moved to France, and I thought, Nah, I need to let him heal. She's just broken up with him. About two weeks after THAT decision, I woke from a really nasty nightmare. It involved my funeral and Matt attending it... with his wife. He was so happy in the dream. All I could think was it could have been me. Then I was determined it was going to be me."
Stella was enthralled. "How?"
Everything in Calina lit up. "I called him the next day. Told him I needed to talk. He came right over. Well, I told him my dream, and he asked me something."
"And?"
"He asked me who the woman was! I got so mad I smacked him in the arm! He laughed, and said he was just trying to get a rise out of me. Well I said he wasn't allowed to marry ANYONE unless I was the bride. Oh, that sobered him RIGHT up. He got serious and asked why. I told him because I loved him. He said..."
Stella was enthralled now. "What? What?"
Calina smiled. "That that worked for him, because he loved me too. We started dating that night."
Stella squealed. "That's so romantic!"
Calina laughed. "It was... and is." She sobered. "But Stella, it wasn't easy. We'd been best friends for so long dating felt weird at first. We had any number of fights over things like who paid for the meal. Who got to pick where we went. It took us a few all-nighters to air things that needed to be discussed. But love was strong... and still is."
Stella sobered as well. "Was it worth it?"
Calina's face softened with love and grief. "Oh, yes. Let me tell you something that most people are blinded by. Love isn't the be all and end all. People who tell you love is everything aren't really using their heads. Matt and I were lucky. We were two stubborn, independent people, but we were determined to be together. Friendship built our foundation strong. Love built the roof and walls, and the combination joined us together. I honestly believe that if we had married, we'd have been one of those old couples you see walking down the street holding hands 40 years later. But we weren't given that chance." Tears filled Calina's eyes.
Stella grabbed her hand. "You still love Matt."
"With everything I have. And I'm not ready to fall in love again. But I don't have someone like you do in my life, Stella. Mac is your Matt. He'll be there for you until one of you ends it...through marriage to others or death or running away. He loves you too. Don't let love slip away, Stella. You never know how it will end. But it's almost always worth the effort."
Calina sighed. "And there ends Caldecott's Life Lesson Number One. Like I said, something kept telling me that you needed to hear my story. I know that little voice. It nagged me to call Matt. I hope it's helped you make the decision you need to make... and soon."
Stella was touched. "Thanks for sharing it with me. And it has helped, I promise. I have some thinking to do."
Calina stood. "Well, I'll let you get to it." She looked down at the older woman. "If you need to talk, I'm here for you. Just call."
Stella smiled. "I will." She watched Calina walk away, a mixture of sadness, grief and love seeming to hang across the younger woman's shoulders. That must have been hard to relive for Calina, and yet she had done it to help Stella. Well, Stella had never been a coward. She wasn't going to start now. She did have some heavy thinking to do.
MS MS MS MS MS MS
Calina wandered the streets of New York City, just aware enough to keep herself out of danger, but not aware enough to"see" what was going on around her. That's why her name being called startled her beyond reason.
"Calina!" Don called one more time as he walked toward her. They met in the middle of the sidewalk, looking at the other.
"Detective Flack! Sorry, I was distracted."
"I can see that. And it's Don. Non-suspects get to call me that."
Calina laughed. "You working?"
"Actually I'm off. You?"
"Yeah, got the week off. Vacation." She made a face.
"Some start to the vacation."
"Tell me about it." She muttered.
Don laughed. He liked this young woman. She had a way about her.
"Hey listen, I'm not hitting on you, but you wanna grab a bite to eat? Or have you eaten already?"
"I have, but I'll be hungry later." She bit her lip. Damn that little voice! Too well-developed for her own good. "If you wanna meet me at Sullivan's at eight, you can. I'm not hitting on you, either," she said quickly. "It's just..." she looked at her watch and eeped. "I have somewhere to be in twenty minutes and you look like you wanna talk."
"Ya know, I kinda do," Don conceded. "Okay, Sullivan's at eight it is."
"Good. See ya there!" Calina walked away, muttering. "Stupid little voice, Can't mind its own business. Why couldn't I have a 'normal' conscience?"
End Part 4
We'll get back to the case, I promise, but I wanted to show this for a reason. It's pertinent to the story, I promise!
