Author's Note: So, I wrote another Ace-centric chapter. Yes, I'm messing with the status quo a bit, but it was fun.

Years of Dysfunctional Chaos

4: Learning to Share

The worst part, Zoro felt, was the fact that he didn't even see it coming.

As the eldest of six, Zoro could safely say that he was prepared for almost anything that came his way. Sanji had helped him learn how to fight and argue with fists and sheer brute force; Chopper had helped him learn how to look after a delicate, fragile thing that could break at the drop of a hat but was nonetheless irritating as hell; Nami had helped him learn how to evade impending doom courtesy of a Devil with minimal negative impact upon himself; Usopp had helped him learn how to pretend to be listening when he really wasn't. He wasn't sure what Luffy had helped him learn, if not to expect the unexpected.

And so it was even more shocking to find that he had not seen it coming.

The first time that Luffy hadn't been jumping up and down at the school gate, bouncing up and down as he eagerly waited for his eldest brother to appear, Zoro hadn't thought anything of it. It was Luffy, after all: he'd probably gotten distracted by cotton candy, or something to that effect. Indeed, Luffy was a few hours late coming home that night, and was more chipper than usual—Zoro figured that that confirmed his suspicion. The second day that Zoro left school to find no one at the school gate, he wondered if cotton candy was really that good, and maybe he ought to try it sometime. On the fourth day, he came into sight of the gate and saw Luffy bouncing up and down—and leaving.

Zoro could have handled it if it had just been a matter of Luffy growing out of the desire to walk home with his big brother everyday. But it appeared that Luffy had adopted a new big brother.

Zoro was certain that he'd seen the guy somewhere before—ah, right, the guy Nami had been crushing on a few months ago. The guy that had had Sanji in the hospital for two months. He remembered that Nami had screamed in that obviously falsely horrified voice of hers, and he had been obligated to punch the guy a few times, simply because if he didn't then she was bound to hold it against him for all of eternity. He briefly wondered if he should have punched the guy for real, but quickly shook the idea from his head. Since when was he so...emotional? He prided himself for his calm, so calm he would be.

Unfortunately for Zoro, that became more and more difficult with every day that went by. Three days after his resolution to be calm, Luffy started talking about Ace—right, that was the guy, Zoro thought absently—at the dinner table. Worse, Luffy could not stop talking about how "awesome" Ace was; when he said that there was no "awesome-er" person in the world, Zoro felt his eye twitch. When Usopp responded that he sounded like the most amazing person in the world and he wanted to meet him, Zoro felt his other eye twitch. When Robin suggested that they invite him over for Sunday dinner, Zoro blatantly scowled. At least, he comforted himself, Sanji was looking furious and Nami wasn't exactly looking happy either.

Then he decided that if he needed to comfort himself over something so trivial, then he was obviously not training enough. He upped his daily push-ups by 100, sit-ups by 150, and began waking up an hour earlier to train every morning.

When Sunday rolled around and Ace arrived for dinner, Zoro couldn't help but notice that even Sanji was drawn to the guy (his fury having vanished after attempting to attack Ace at the front door, only to have Nami intervene and explain that nothing had actually happened between her and Ace). Luffy, Usopp and Chopper were already hanging on to his every word religiously. When Nami began warming up to him as well, Zoro couldn't help feeling betrayed. He made a mental note to add another hundred push-ups and sit-ups to his daily quota.

Ace's visits started out weekly, and then became daily. Zoro learned to ignore his irritation. He was an orphan, after all—Mom and Dad just felt sorry for him. Luffy, Usopp and Chopper only asked Ace for help with homework and to play with them because he was a novelty. Nami only looked up to him because he looked good. Sanji only admired him because he could cook.

Then one Wednesday at supper, Robin said, "So, Ace, since you practically live here anyway—we'd like to adopt you. What do you think?"

Zoro blatantly gagged. "What?"

Ace hesitated, covertly glancing at Zoro. "Not that I don't appreciate the offer, or that I'm not tempted, but I think I'd just be in the way. You're already running a big household."

"Nonsense!" said Robin. "In fact, Franky built a new bedroom. He'll be finishing it up tomorrow, so you could move in anytime you like."

Zoro's mind went blank for a moment. But that was supposed to be my room! He thought furiously. Throwing down his napkin, he stood left the room.

He went outside, to the tree where Luffy had always gone when he was little, and had needed to cry but hadn't wanted to let anyone know. It had been their little secret.

"Hey," said a quiet voice from behind him.

Zoro wheeled around at the voice that was definitely too low and too gentle to be Luffy's. "You," said Zoro scathingly.

"Me," said Ace mildly.

"You brother-stealing, sister-robbing, family-thieving-" Then he caught himself, because it wasn't like him to get so worked up over something so trivial.

"I thought that might be the problem," said Ace with a sigh, sitting next to him. "Look, I'm not trying to steal your family. I know that room is yours. I'm not going to give Robin the okay knowing that you don't want me around."

Zoro grunted.

"I've never had a family. You know, it's kind of nice to pretend to have one, once in a while. But I'm not that, really."

"Really," said Zoro sarcastically. He couldn't help himself—well, he probably could have, but he didn't see why he should.

"I'm a novelty to your little brothers," said Ace, and Zoro may or may not have felt a small twinge of guilt knowing that he had thought just that. "As soon as the novelty wears off, they'll realize that they miss their real big brother. I've known that much from the beginning."

Zoro didn't say anything.

Ace didn't either.

Zoro sighed. "Whatever. If I'm the second oldest, I have the right to be sour with the eldest. Don't expect me to fawn over you like the others." And he walked away.

Ace moved into his room that weekend.

On Saturday, the family busily made Ace at home (except Zoro, who was training and only helped out when someone yelled at him to do something).

On Sunday, the family was back to normal (except Zoro, who was training).

On Monday, Zoro was in the middle of his 556th sit-up before breakfast when he was distracted by a weight on his stomach. "What the- Luffy!"

Luffy scowled down at him. "You've been doing nothing but training for...for a long time. You're no fun anymore."

Zoro blinked.

Luffy grinned. "So we're playing tag! Tag, you're it!" And he leapt up and ran away giggling.

Chopper soon came outside, wakened by the noise and eager to join in. It was not long before Usopp joined, dragging a bed-headed Sanji behind him. Then Chopper, feeling sorry for his big sister, went up and cajoled her out of bed and into the game with nothing more than a few words and a cute smile (something that would have meant death to anyone else in the family).

By the time Robin called them all inside for breakfast (cooked by Franky, since Sanji had been indisposed), Ace was already at the table reading a book.

"You didn't play with us," said Chopper.

Ace smiled, looking up for his book. "I've got to take an exam to get into trade school—I haven't got the time to play around. Sorry, boys."

And he went back to his book.

"We're not exactly made of free time either," grunted Zoro moodily around a piece of toast.

"I'm sure," said Ace with an innocent smile.

"Are you implying that I'm lying?" snapped Zoro.

"Of course not," said Ace. "Just that you don't know how little time one has when actually looking toward education, or a career."

"Bastard!" muttered Zoro under his breath, flicking a piece of bacon across the table. Ace calmly deflected it with a spoon, and it fell into Nami's lap.

"You imbiciles!" screeched Nami. "Have you got any idea what it'll take to get the grease stain out of this?"

"No," said Ace.

"Not that I care," said Zoro.

Nami tossed orange juice at both of them with a swing of the jug, unfortunately splattering Usopp and Chopper as well, as they were sitting between the pair.

Chopper giggled. Usopp winked at Luffy.

"Food fight!" the youngest three exclaimed simultaneously. And the room was filled with giggles, growls, swearing and screeching.

An hour later, Robin had made sure they all got through the shower and changed, and they left for school half an hour late.

That night, laying in bed, Zoro found himself surprised by how normal everything was. He fell asleep with a smile on his face. The next morning, he decided to forgo that extra hour he had added to his training schedule. (He did, however, keep the extra sit-ups and push-ups.)