Hello again and welcome to chapter four! Longest fic so far so I hope you like it. Au Revoir!


T-Plus 7 weeks since fertilisation. Friday October 3rd,10:50am.

Pregnancy Diary - Entry 3: Bad Dream

Hello future self! How are you? I'm fine, baby's good too. Not showing yet but the average is about 12 weeks so, yeah. All's well now. Just booked first prenatal appointment in the Tower, with Dr Julienne Rowe. She sounds nice. Loki's still sleeping, a miracle, he usually frets over me from the second he wakes up til the moment I go to sleep.

He needs the rest today, though. I do too and I'm probably stretching my limits while I'm writing this because I want to just get it down on paper. So I had my first pregnancy nightmare last night.

I was being rushed down to the med bay in a wheelchair, sweating and wrecked with pain while Loki ran beside the doctors and I to keep up. He held my hand and I squeezed down on it harder and harder as every contraction came and went. I was in labour, and by god it felt sore. I honestly hope you blank out the pain because that's fucking torture.

After being put onto a bed in the Maternity Ward, I was given gas and air. I pushed for hours on end and passed out from the pain of giving birth. I slept for what seemed like seconds but was apparently hours. When I woke up, I heard crying. I smiled, thinking it was my baby making the noise.

"Where...where's my baby?" I whispered, grinning. "I want to see my baby."

Loki rushed over, his eyes red and his perfect face blotchy. "Hello, darling," he croaked softly, "how are you?"

"I'm good," I replied and took his hand in my own. "I just need to see my baby. Where is it?"

"Oh, my dear... You had a son, a wonderful baby boy."

"I need to see him! Let me see my son!"

Because my voice was raised the midwives at the other end of the room noticed I was awake. They got the doctor, who came over with what looked like guilt in his eyes. At that I was confused. Surely he would be happy to have just delivered another child into this world?

"Miss Black," he began, running a hand through his dark, cropped hair, "I am afraid to say that there were some complications in the birth."

"What sort of complications," I asked, sitting up and putting a hand over my now empty womb.

"It is my sad duty to inform you that your son, during childbirth, strangled on the umbilical cord."

Strangled on the umbilical cord. Stillborn. My child was stillborn. As the fact hit me I screamed, a heart-wrenchingly painful scream full of fear and sadness and loss. Then I realized that it wasn't my child crying. It was Loki, mourning the loss of his first child.

I woke up, still screaming, alerting everyone in the ten floors above and below my room and nearly deafening Loki. Nat and Bruce were the first to arrive. They found me crying on the bed with him holding me. They all told me it would be alright. That it was all a dream. I know that. But it just hurt so much. The very thought of it is painful and writing this is heartbreaking. If you read this and remember it, in detail, I am sorry. So so sorry for what I have made you feel and that I can do nothing to help.

Demeter out.


Loki had made her keep a record of her pregnancy, in case there were differences between that of a normal Midgardian one and an Asgardian one. She was all for it, knowing that he wasn't human, and believed him completely Aesir whereas he was concerned that giving birth to a Jotunn child would be difficult for her. He loved her, truly loved her, even though he didn't say it, and losing her because of his child would kill him. If she was to die in childbirth, if bringing a Frost Giant into this world would mean that she would die, he wouldn't forgive himself. He would grow to hate the child that killed it's mother.

The thought crossed over Demeter's mind as well. Dying when she should be happiest isn't a good thing. She didn't want to die like her mother did. Mind you, her mother was only sixteen, a mere child who wasn't ready to go through the pain and stress of parenthood yet. Her body was barely ready for pregnancy; she had sex to stop having periods. Demeter's father left as soon as the deed was done and Maria Carter had no one to tell but the friends who would leave her in the dirt and call her a slut. Demeter would not go the way her mother did. She is respected by people all over the country and she will not allow them to call her such things.

Loki's child will live well. She will ensure that.


The first prenatal appointment was a few minutes away and the expectant parents were happily nervous. The agent had read up on what would happen, like questions about her menstrual cycle, genetic conditions, substance use, blood tests and urine tests.

When they were asked to go in, Dr Rowe smiled and asked for them to sit down. Her auburn hair was pulled into a tight bun and her thick-rimmed glasses were sliding down her nose. Her brown eyes studied Loki immediately, searching for a reason to arrest him.

"So," she said, eventually, "I'm Doctor Rowe. It's nice to meet you in person at last, Miss Black. I've heard about your work in the field and I was very impressed."

"The feeling is mutual," Demeter smiled. "Oh, this is Loki. He's the father."

"Of course. It's a pleasure."

"And to you, Doctor. "

"Right, so Demeter, may I ask, when was your last period?"

"About ten weeks ago. Three weeks before conception and five weeks before I tested positive."

"Was it late, at all?"

"Nope, on time, as always."

"Good," replied the doctor, typing a few notes into her computer. "And are there any genetic problems or conditions in either of your families?"

"My mother died in childbirth," Demeter shrugged, "that's it for me."

"Well," began the God, rubbing his neck, "my parents were Frost Giants..."

His lover turned to him in shock. "What?" she cried. "What are they?"

"Giant, blue- Actually," he got up and walked towards the small Air Conditioner at the door, turning down the heat as low as it possibly could. He crouched in front of it for a food fifteen minutes before getting up and turning around.

What Demeter noticed first were the eyes.

His normally beautiful emerald eyes were crimson, no, blood red. His pale face was now blue, as were his slender hands and no doubt every inch of skin on his body. She got up and stood in front of him, seeing and tracing her finger down the scars on his face. They were curved and intricate, with one similar to a crown on his forehead and tears on his cheeks.

"We'll discuss this later," she said sternly, going to sit down as Loki's normal form returned.

"So..." said the doctor, typing incessantly with panic in her eyes. "There's a chance that you'll give birth to one of those. Nothing else?"

"No, doctor."

After a blood test and a urine sample to confirm the pregnancy and that no substances were in her system, the pair left with a smile on their faces. Everything was good.


"What the hell was that?" she shrieked, slamming her bedroom door behind her. "No, better question: What the hell are you?"

Loki sighed and sat on the bed. "Again, I am a Frost Giant of Jotunheim. Rightful king, actually."

"So you mean to say that our child has a fifty percent chance of being blue? You could've told me! And then it'll be royalty!" The agent flopped down onto the bed, beside her lover before grinning again. "It'll be Royal Blue!"

The God laughed and kissed her forehead. "I'm glad you're taking this so well. I didn't."

"That's because you're too god-damned attractive to stay angry at. And you can kill me at any moment so that kinda puts off the bad stuff."