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Here's a bit of angst for you.
After showing the Doctor the guest room, the three of them retreated to the office to try and uncover the mystery of why he was here and how he had managed to arrive. The Doctor sat at the computer, brow creased in concentration as he furiously typed in commands. Rose sat, chewing her lip, as she read over all her notes from the Dimension Cannon Project, occasionally stopping to jot down a word or phrase. Jason paced the floor, muttering and pulling at his hair. He stopped every few minutes to read over the Doctor's shoulder or consult Rose's notes before returning to his vigil.
Finally the Doctor slammed the lap top closed and stood up. Jason stopped his pacing to stare at him, and Rose looked up, waiting. It was silent for a moment, the three of them watching one another, breath held in anticipation.
"It just doesn't make sense," the Doctor began with arms flailing, "there is only the tiniest of cracks. It doesn't seem to have allowed anything else through. The TARDIS should never have gotten through. It's simply impossible. It's like…" he paused, putting a finger to his lips in thought, "it's like the universe simply wanted me to be here." He stopped, forehead creased, as he stared out the window.
"Did someone here call for me? Did you two? Is there some specific reason I am needed here?" He whirled around on them, firing out the questions.
Rose and Jason both shook their heads. Of course there were always hostile aliens to deal with, disasters to divert, but they were handling it. It was these adventures that frankly kept them both from losing their minds. Besides, this universe already had one Doctor. It wasn't in need of another, as far as they could see.
The Doctor's shoulders slumped. "Right, well, I've got less than 24 hours to get back through that crack before…. Wait a minute!" he cried, snapping his fingers, "what about your TARDIS? Surely the coral I gave you has grown by now?"
Jason merely shook his head before walking out the door towards his bedroom. The Doctor turned curiously towards Rose.
"It never grew Doctor," she whispered, pain radiating from her voice, "he tried everything, but nothing worked. Wrong universe I guess." She shrugged slightly. "When he realized there was nothing he could do, he…" she paused, shaking her head before locking onto the Doctor's eyes with hers, "I thought I was gonna lose him forever."
The Doctor looked away, towards the window again. "I'm sorry," he sighed, "I didn't…. I'm sorry."
He looked like he was going to say more, but instead he turned around and walked silently out the door. He was still the same man, running away when things got difficult.
Of course he was sorry, Rose thought. He was always sorry. But that never changed anything. He continued on as he always had, dictating the lives of others without a backward glance. She tried to be angry at him, had been angry for so very long. But she had wasted far too much time being angry in the beginning instead of loving the man who had stayed. No, the time for anger had passed, she couldn't hold onto it anymore. And besides, despite it all, she still loved him, would always love him. He had shown her the universe, and that was not something easily forgotten.
xxxxxx
The Doctor continued out the front door to towards his TARDIS. He took the key from his pocket to try opening the door once more. But his efforts were in vain. He even tried sonicing the lock, though he knew that was futile. She simply was not going to let him in. He smacked his hand against the door in frustration.
"Why am I here?" he pleaded, but she remained silent. Whatever was going on, he was on his own in figuring it out. He leaned his head against the cool wood, panic threatening to overtake him. If he didn't think fast, he would be trapped in the wrong universe without even a TARDIS. Stuck, in one place, one time. The wrong place and wrong time. Oh, but wouldn't that be fitting? Wasn't that what he had done to his part human self? Perhaps this was the universe's way of evening the score. And wasn't that just bloody fantastic. He allowed only a single tear to slip down his cheek before he sniffed and wiped his eyes. If he only had a single day to figure things out, he best get on with it.
xxxxxx
Jason didn't bother trying to wipe the tears from his face. He shuddered and took a ragged breath. The loss of the TARDIS had nearly killed him. For centuries she had been his one constant companion. When all his people had died at his hand, he still had her to keep him from going completely mad. He fingered the dead piece of coral in his hand before heaving it across the room. It made a satisfying thwack across the wall. He wanted to kick and scream and rail against the universe.
He turned to look out the window as the Doctor leaned his head against the TARDIS. He should feel some grim satisfaction in the full Time Lord's fate. But instead all he felt was pity. He knew what it was like being stuck. At least he had a bit of humanity to help him through. At least he had Rose Tyler, the woman he loved. His breath hitched. Did he still have Rose? Would she want to stay with him now when the "real" Doctor had returned? He still felt like the Doctor. Same thoughts, same memories, same magnificent Time Lord brain. But he knew that he was somehow less than. And if the Doctor found a way back to his own universe, what would Rose choose? That's how he was different from the alien outside. While the Doctor decided for people, Jason would let Rose choose, even at the cost of his very soul.
He ran his hands across his face and through his hair, taking a steadying breath. He needed to calm himself. It was important that he not let the Doctor see him this way. He felt a deep shame at how weak his humanity had caused him to become.
