A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating. I've been distracted by other (read: Mentalist) projects of late.

Thank you to Miss Peg for reviewing part three

x tromana


Part Four - Nick

He doesn't know who this girl is and quite frankly, he doesn't care either.

Why should he? It's not as if he's going to remember this in the morning anyway.

Nick is already off his head, vaguely enjoying the buzz from a mixture of alcohol and drugs. He isn't even sure what he's taken or why. Just that he's swallowed everything that has been offered to him and will continue to do so until he passes out for the night. After all, you only live once and you might as well make the most of it whilst you still can. If not, you'll end up with a life full of regrets and missed opportunities and that is more depressing than the alternative.

Some people would say his life has changed into a train wreck. Especially his father, but quite frankly, he doesn't care. What the fuck has that bastard done for him anyway? Just force fed him a load of shitty false promises. It was all do as I say, not as I do, crap like that. How can you take a role model seriously when they don't fucking bother to practice what they preach?

He allows his hands to slowly wander down the girl's torso and he fumbles slightly with the button of her jeans. She laughs slightly before helping him out. Though he doesn't know her name, Nick's glad that she's dragged him upstairs and into the loos. It's a hell of a lot more private than attempting to surreptitiously do it in public.

No, whilst his dad would probably call him a wreck, as far as Nick's concerned, his life is now a rollercoaster ride and all the more exciting for it. Yes, it has its ups and downs and that's half the point. Without one, you cannot really appreciate the other.

As he digs into his back pocket for a condom, Nick takes the opportunity to scrutinise his latest sexual conquest. She's pretty, or at least, pretty enough. Not as pretty as Mini, though it's fucking difficult to be as drop dead gorgeous as she is. However, considering just how willing and eager this petite brunette is, she comes with a lot less of the fucking psycho crazy that Mini does. Which is a relief, because if there weren't girls like this in the world, Nick would never be getting any.

Besides, he's had enough of difficult to last a lifetime.

And of false hopes and lies.

And of always trying to fucking please.

Sometimes, he thinks he misses the rugby, thinks he misses being the team captain and having the adulation of everyone at the school. Wonders what his life would be like if he had carried on with the straight and narrow. If he would have been able grow a pair and get on with it or if he'd have just landed himself in the nearest loony bin, straight jacket and all.

At least this way, he doesn't have any pressure, any expectations, anything he needs to fight for. He can just do whatever the hell he wants, when he wants and nobody gives a fucking toss. Not even his dad, the wanker, which is a blessed relief because nobody wants a piece of shit like him breathing down their necks. He'd just been too blind to see it at the time.

Thing is, life still isn't as simple as he craves it to be. There's still the added complications, the ones that creep up on him when he least expects it.

There's Matty. When he'd been kicked out the first time around, Nick had honestly believed that he would never see his brother again. And now, now he's back in his life and making everything all the more difficult. Whilst he's still falling apart, Matty is pulling himself back together again. And because he's older, a man of mystery and intrigue, people are all the more interested in him and don't give a toss about Nick, who's just young and immature in comparison. Everybody loves a success story and all that crap. And he's the complete opposite of one, which is just fucking depressing.

It is his own fault. He didn't have to throw everything away. Not really. He just got scared and ran away.

At least he still has his mates though. Or he thinks he does. He's well aware that Mini only invited him to this party because Grace had told her she shouldn't leave him out. She's still fucking pissed about the fact he fucked her best mate and then 'stole' her virginity. Nick can't blame her for that, but then again, she had been lying to him all the time. She had said she wasn't a virgin, that it didn't matter. That she just wanted their first time to be 'special'. If she hadn't lied to him all that time, like his father had done, then things could have, would have, been different.

Or at least, he would have ended things more amicably rather than allowing their lives to thrown into such disarray.

He pulls the top over the girls head and she squeaks slightly as he catches some of her hairs. The moment is soon forgotten and within seconds, he's aware of her lips making an assault on his neck. Automatically, his hands move to her breasts. They're a nice size, good, firm. Nick's always liked a good handful. Not too small, but not too much either.

It doesn't take long for things to escalate further. The condom is on and things are good to go. Except for his mind, it's still whirring away, thinking of all of the what could have things.

Nick tries to push them aside as he thrusts deep into her. Might as well make the most of the situation, he considers. After all, he doesn't want to be like everyone he's ever known to this girl. Full of secrets and lies and promises that'll never be kept. She moans and squeaks again. He's okay now, he should be able to do this, it's a success.

But he's still thinking. About how to fix his life, about how to get off this rollercoaster before it destroys him. Maybe this isn't such a good idea. The sex, drugs and rock and roll lifestyle, that is. Maybe now is the time to pull himself back together again, before it's too late.

After all, if a fucking waste of space like his elder brother can do it, then why the hell can't he?

Or maybe, he should just think about this when he's sober, off the drugs and not having a quickie in a bathroom.

There is a time and a place for such things, after all.