Disclaimer: I do not own Hitchhiker's Guide, this was simply an English project from last year whose aim was to sound like a continuation of the story using the authors techniques. I thought it was time to publish it.
Enjoy.
39
Back on Earth, or rather – to be more precise, that is – back when the Earth was the Earth and not just some random space rubble that the Galactic Sweepers never bothered to clean up, there was this party.
It was in Sussex. Or possibly not. Most likely not as Zaphod had had a few too many Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters upon realizing that he was missing a head. Again. Which head was he missing again?
"Ohh, this is just like that night on Garglon Five. Except, you know, I woke up missing an arm too – Gaah! I've only got two arms! Again!"
Upon recalling that panicking is the absolute worst thing to be doing, Zaphod to a deep breath – which was weird seeing as he now only had the one throat – and searched for his ship remote.
It was in his glass of…a not-a-Pan-Galactic-Gargle-Blaster. But whoah there! What was that fox doing with that ape?
On the other side of the room in a small flat in what was decidedly Islington, England, UK, Earth, the far arm of the Milky Way Galaxy, the Universe, there stood this beautiful human woman.
And, oddly enough, she was sitting next to an odd man – one Arthur Dent, also a human (which makes perfect sense if you stop to think about it which Zaphod did not) – and he was most definitely panicking.
"Umm, well, do you like tea?" Arthur asked.
"I suppose so," Trillian said. She was bored out of her skull but she tried to pretend otherwise.
"Oh, well, I have this teapot…"
"Hey, doll, is this guy boring you? Why don't you talk to me instead? I'm from a different planet," Zaphod said.
Arthur could find no words but the woman simply took it in stride. "Oh, cool. Are you sure you're not knackered?"
"I'm always drunk, doll. But what's that got to do with anything?"
"I suppose it hasn't. Have you got a ship?"
"Yeah."
"May I see it?"
"Doll, you can see the universe with me," Zaphod grinned.
"Alright. I just need to get my mice."
"Ahh, sure…whatever you want doll."
"Hey! Wait! You can't go off with that nutcase, I mean, you don't even know his name!"
"It's uhh, it's uhh…" He looked to his left as if expecting his other head to say something intelligent. Right, that settles it then. He was missing his left, and most intelligent, head. Of course. "It's Phil."
"Oh."
Trillian and Zaphod linked arms and walked out of the party together, which was weird because she had no idea where she was going and if this man was safe or not. Not that she really minded. She was just bored in Islington.
"So, what's your real name?" Trillian asked.
"Zaphod Beeblebrox the First. You?"
"Tricia McMillan, but almost nobody calls me that. Actually, that guy back there, Arthur I think he said his name was, is the only one who does. Call me Trillian."
The scene faded to dark as Zaphod impatiently unplugged his heads from the machine.
Author's Note: Reviews please :)
