Chapter 4

Standing on the hard-packed sand as lapping water nipped at the edges of his toes, Richard Castle let out a contented sigh. He stared out across the expanse of ocean before him as dusk settled on the horizon and thought about how idyllic that moment was. He was on the beach just a few hundred feet from his home, the beautiful woman he loved was by his side, and they'd just spent a perfect evening together; what could be better than that?

Earlier that day Castle and his companion escaped Manhattan as soon as she was able to leave her office and joined the throngs of people traveling to the outer edges of Long Island for the weekend. They made decent time, all things considered, and arrived at his favorite restaurant promptly for their seven-thirty reservation. They dined on fresh seafood and delicious wine, which was lovely, but Castle knew from that moment on their evening would only get better.

By the time they were on the road again, traffic was light and they arrived at his house within fifteen minutes. He carried their luggage upstairs while she made a quick call to check in with her father and then he'd suggested a walk on the beach. They'd strolled hand-in-hand towards the west for close to half a mile before turning around and walking back towards the house. About halfway back, Kate dropped his hand and drifted further towards the water. He wasn't concerned as she didn't look sad, merely pensive, and he knew she'd talk to him about whatever she was thinking when she was ready.

With the house in view Kate stopped, crossed her arms over her body, and cupped her opposite elbows as she stood facing the water. He stepped up beside her, patiently waiting for her to speak, not concerned at all for what she had to say, because nothing would ruin his mood that evening; it was all too perfect.

"Hey Rick?" she began finally after nearly five minutes of staring silently out at the waves casually rolling towards shore

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever think about what could have happened the night we met? If our plane hadn't had engine trouble…if we'd just flown from San Francisco to New York without anything out of the ordinary happening?"

"Ah…yeah," he said, "I do sometimes."

The most recent time had been almost exactly three weeks earlier on the morning after her mother's funeral. He'd woken up that Saturday and turned his head to see that she was still asleep beside him, curled up on her side with one hand tucked beneath her cheek as she faced the center of the bed. He smiled gently as he watched her, thinking he'd never seen anything more beautiful in his life. As he lay there watching her eyelids flutter, he had thought, "What would I do without this woman in my life?" At that point such a concept was nearly unfathomable. He'd thought of the night they met and once again thanked the universe for having it turn out the way it did.

"We wouldn't be here if that flight had gone as planned."

"No, we wouldn't," he agreed with her. "But that's why I don't like to think about it, because here we are." He paused to take a step forward and then turn his body so he could gaze at her more head-on. He lifted his arm and placed his right hand gently on her shoulder, giving it a little stroke before continuing. "Everything happens for a reason, Kate. Of course I wish our charter plane hadn't crashed and the pilot hadn't died, but I think that crash happened at the exact right time for both of us. We were at a crossroads and something as life changing as that nudges you towards the next part of your journey; the path you're meant to walk on."

She stared at him for several seconds before a peculiar smile crossed her face. She shook her head and dusted her fingertips across her face while staring back out across the water.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing you just…" She sighed heavily and turned back to face him. "You're so different than anyone I've ever met before. Not in a bad way it's just…unexpected."

As he felt similarly about her, he said, "Maybe that was the whole point of all this." Thanks to his career he'd had the opportunity to meet many different people, though he'd never met anyone that made him feel quite the way Kate did every time she smiled at him, which was one of the reasons he was so confident about embarking on a serious relationship again just two months after his divorce was finalized. They met for a reason; there was absolutely no question in his mind about that.

"Besides, you're kind of wrong about something, you know?"

She arched her eyebrow at him. "Yeah? About what?"

"The day we met." He took a step closer to her and lifted his hand from her shoulder so that he could cup the underside of her jaw. "Even if that plane had taken off in San Francisco and flown to New York without incident, something extraordinary had already happened: I was seated beside you."

A smile quickly spread across her face and she lifted her left hand, closing it around his wrist so she could hold his hand tight to her face. After a moment she turned her head, kissed his inner wrist, and then linked their fingers together as they continued to walk back towards the house.

They were silent until they reached the back porch and she dropped his hand again to lean against the railing while watching the last rose-orange hints of sun disappear across the sky. He stepped around behind her, placing a hand at each of her hips, as they watched the heavens together. Just as it was almost too dim outside to see, she twisted her body, tilted her head back and kissed the underside of his jaw. "Is it our time now, Rick?"

He felt a shiver travel down his spine at the feeling of her warm breath on his neck. When he extended his invitation for a private weekend together in the Hamptons two weeks earlier Castle had absolutely done so with the intent that he and Kate would become intimate over the course of the trip. He'd allowed her to set the date, though, wanting to make sure she was in the right headspace with her brain no longer filled with the dense fog of grief. Of course she was still processing her mother's death, but she was on her way to healing and he was all too happy to assist her on that journey.

"Yeah," he said, his voice a bit husky, "I'd say so; definitely."

"Good."

With that, she spun around in his embrace and pressed her mouth against his. Castle groaned as he sunk into their kiss, grabbing at the fabric of her shirt with both of his hands. God, he wanted her; he wanted her so much. Unlike most of his relationships they weren't beginning with a "let's see where this goes" or an "I'll bet this will be fun." They were serious right from the start and he wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

After several heated kisses on the porch, Kate slid away from her companion, gave him a smile so sexy that his knees felt wobbly, and then took his hand to lead him back into the house. They ascended to the second floor hand-in-hand and then Rick led the way into the master suite where he dropped her hand long enough to light a few candles before rejoining her on the bed. She stretched out and welcomed him with open arms, which he happily sunk into.

They kissed again and again and Castle felt his head go fuzzy as though he'd had far too much scotch. In reality, he'd had only two glasses of wine, so it wasn't the alcohol, but his companion; she was intoxicating and he wanted to soak up every inch. While they kissed, her fingers worked at the buttons on his shirt, but just as she began to tug it off his shoulders, he pulled his lips from hers and breathed out, "Wait, wait."

Her brow wrinkled. "What? Too fast?"

He shook his head and used his right index finger to brush some of the hair off her forehead. "No, it's just…" He gazed down at her, awestruck by her beautiful for several seconds before he continued. "I love you. You are extraordinary in every way and would do it all again—plane crash and all—just to be here with you."

For a moment, she seemed a bit startled by his words, and his heart clutched with the fear he'd said too much too soon, but then she blinked and he could see the tears forming against her lower eyelid. "I love you too, Rick, and I'm really, really glad out plane's engine didn't work," she confessed softly.

He grinned, quickly shed his shirt, and then gathered her up in his arms for another kiss.


The following morning, Kate was surprised that she awoke just shortly after seven since she'd had every intention to sleep later, particularly with how exhausted she'd felt after round two with her companion. Then again, she had slept rather soundly for the prior six hours. Turning her head, she saw Rick was still fast asleep and didn't want to risk waking him while she shifted around in bed, so she slid from beneath the sheet as gingerly as she could. She tip-toed to the bathroom and reemerged several minutes later wearing a t-shirt, her cotton sleep shorts, and a lightweight robe overtop. She was about to descend to the kitchen and see if she could find a coffee pot to use, when the gorgeous view from the master suite's balcony distracted her and she knew she just had to take a peek.

Though the door creaked when she opened it, a quick glance over her shoulder told her Rick hadn't stirred, so she continued out onto the balcony and took a seat on one of the lounge chairs. She tucked her feet beneath her hips and sat back as she watched the morning sun sparkle off the water. The perfect morning felt completely appropriate after the perfect night she'd woken up from.

Sitting there reflecting on the night before Kate felt her cheeks begin to ache with how wide she was grinning, but she didn't care; making love to Rick had been well worth the wait. He had been right that she needed to wait until her head was clearer after her mother's death. They both deserved that and in the end it made their coupling as incredible as she hoped it would be, for Rick was just as kind and generous as a lover as he was a friend.

Kate's previous relationships often began with strategic planning and a deep concentrated effort not to open too much of herself up too quickly for the fear of it all blowing up in her face. As such, she'd surprised herself by echoing his sentiments of love the night before, though the morning after she didn't regret it. She loved him for far longer than she'd realized and was confident those sentiments would not soon change—particularly not after the night they'd had together.

Brief mental glimpses of a future with Rick had Kate's thoughts drifting back to her mother and the prediction she made on the day she died. Johanna had believed Rick would be the man she spent her entire life with and while she was not quite ready to have those thoughts, they certainly didn't scare her as they would have for practically her entire life to that point; Rick truly was one of a kind.

The longer Kate sat on the balcony, the more her thoughts turned to her mother. That weekend was only her third time being at Castle's beach estate; both previous times her mother had been with her. The prior night she had been so focused on her date with Rick and her first romantic night with Rick that she'd failed to realize that fact, but the more she thought about it, the heavier her heart began to feel in her chest.

"Morning."

The rough-sounding voice of her companion startled Kate from her thought several moments later. She turned her head just as he stepped onto the balcony wearing only his boxer shorts. He plopped down beside her, threw one arm around her shoulders, and pressed a sloppy kiss to the side of her head. "You been up long?"

"Ten minutes, maybe."

He grunted then yawned with a bit more drama than necessary. They sat quietly for another minute before his fingertips danced along her arm and he asked, "You okay?"

She hummed at his difficult-to-answer question. "Yeah I…I was just thinking about my mom since this is the first time I've been here without her."

"Oh—oh! Kate, I'm sorry. I didn't even think-"

"No, please." She cut off her apology by placing her hand flat against his chest. "It's fine; I'm glad we came here. I was just thinking about being here with two months ago and then I thought about our last conversation. We talked about you, how glad she was to have met you."

He nodded. "She told me the same thing."

"I think…no, I know—I know she was also glad that I met you. That we…that we became c-close." Kate cleared her throat as it felt thick with emotion. She fought to keep the tears from dripping from her eyes, but it was no use. Using the sleeve of her robe she dabbed some of them away, while Rick remained patient beside her, his hand now stroking gently at the middle of her back. She shut her eyes and a few more tears fell so she sucked in a deep breath and prepared herself for what she was about to say.

"Eight years ago, right after her attack, it was so touch and go whether she'd make it or not. I remember sitting in the ICU beside her bed. She was so pale; she'd lost so much blood. I held her hand just borderline in shock, barely able to believe it was happening, that it was real, but at the same time being absolutely terrorized that I would lose her. I thought losing her was the worst thing that could ever possibly happen.

"For two days it was a rollercoaster—she'd get a little better, get a little worse, then get a little better. On the third night is when they told us they would probably need to remove her kidney; that if she didn't improve by morning it would be the best step in her recovery. I went to bed that night just thinking what if that doesn't fix it? What if they can't save her? I just…I didn't think I would know how to function without her—that I would just be crushed under all that pain."

With her tears falling more steadily, Kate gave up on trying to wipe them away with the edges of her robe. She sniffed heavily and then twisted her body so she could look at the man ever-present by her side. "It still hurts without her. Sometimes when I think about how I'll never see her smile again I c-can't…I can barely breathe, and I know it'll be that way for a little while yet, but it doesn't feel crushing. It's sad, but it's bearable, because every time it feels like too much I just think about you and how…how I have someone in my life who will be there for me and try to make me happy even when I'm not sure that I can be. And that's how I know that moving past her death will be hard, but it's something I can do—that we can do."

"Of course, Kate, of course." Rick leaned forward and gathered her up in his arms, allowing her to snuggle against his chest and cry out all that she needed to.

Several minutes later, when she'd slid away as her sniffles had quieted, he'd smiled and wiped at the track of tears on her cheeks with his thumb. "I'm always going to be here for you, Kate; always."

She snagged his hand, kissed the pad of his thumb, and then pulled it close to her chest, giving him the smallest of smiles. "I know you will."


A/N: Epilogue on Saturday