The Registry is hectic during combat. So hectic, all personnel have to be on their A game to make sure everyone gets what they need as soon as they can. As much as they dress it up like a diner, it doesn't change the fact that we're fighting.

After I oversee the initial launch of fighters, I turn around to find Gascogne smirking down at me. "Help me load up the Deli cart."

I look at her askance. "Deli cart?"

"That's what we call our refueling shuttle. While it's loading, we can watch the battle."

I agree and follow her to the set of controls set aside for the Deli cart. It's not long before requests come in.

"What the hell are slime rounds?" I mutter to myself as I dutifully load them onto the cart.

Once that's done and the automation kicks in, I look at the monitor with Gascogne. "...What are they doing?"

"There's a new type of enemy. It's good at repelling attacks."

I look down at the screen again. "But... why are they firing missiles at it if that's not working?"

"Too tough for regular bullets, I suppose." She sighs theatrically. "If only we had some sort of beam weapon at our disposal."

I wrack my head. "I... don't think I've seen any of those. Do we even have any?"

She looks at me with a slack jaw.

"Use your brain, moron. You and Dita have that laser, right?"

"Oh. Duh."

"Come on, I got your Vanguard inside one of the drop pods."


We head out, refuel and restock Dita, Jura, and Barnette's Dreads, then I clamber into the Vanguard and get released out into space. At least this is slightly more graceful than my typical launch. The Paksis is still giving me that chill though.

Over the comms, I can hear Dita and Meia arguing over how useful I'll be. Dita has complete faith, and Meia thinks I'm worthless. Nothing new, in other words.

The sea urchin fires a spike which stabs into the back of Vanguard, almost puncturing the cab and sheering off one thruster. Not the best start.

"Mister Alien! Let's combine!" Dita's voice comes to my ears.

"Er, yeah." I watch as her approach is interuptted by a hail of fire and another spike, which she narrowly dodges, and soars right past me. The spike continues on-

And stabs right through Meia's left engine.

Her craft spins wildly, suddenly heading in an arc... right towards me.

Well, not perfectly. I fire some of my secondary thrusters to align our trajectories. Looks like I'm gonna be combining with Meia.

The other craft opens up to swallow mine as it comes close, and the familiar whir of machinery sounds out as our Vandread forms.

Once I'm plopped down, I take stock of the interior. The controls are similar to Dita's which makes sense. I lean back-

Boing!

Oh, I am SO screwed.

"What are you doing in here? I don't need your help! Get off!"

"OW! Hey! Stop pushing-"

I'm cut off by the Vandread being sent into another spin by a glancing blow.

"Look, lets fight later. Right now, we need to get rid of that thing!"

I press a few buttons and the drive kicks up, making our acceleration that much more ridiculous. This is space. You're not supposed to be able to stop on a dime. With this running, we might just be able to.

The sheer acceleration this combined ship provides tries to flatten my against Meia, who at least has a backrest of sorts. My vision starts to go dark around the edges, and I can feel the Paksis sucking.

And I thought Dita's Vandread was bad.

Meia doesn't seem to be sufferer quite as much, and she quickly starts steering us around and around the sea urchin, making it so that it stops attacking our own units by cutting it off at every turn.

The urchin gets fed up and starts launching spikes at us.

They come in a wave, the point end brushing past us so fast I could barely follow them. Meia expertly spins the Vandread, pressing her foot on a pedal to increase our speed even further, getting around the last of the spikes.

I press some buttons and a green glow forms on the nose of the Vandread. "Ram it?"

"Ram it."

As soon as she says it, we're on the other side, and the Urchin explodes spectacularly.

I colapse on the console in front of me, and I can hear Meia panting behind me.

"If my friends could only see me now." I pant. "I'd never live it down."

"I couldn't agree more. But you see now? You couldn't win with just your Vanguard."

"Yeah, but maybe only Dreads isn't the answer either." I mumble back.

"This is terrible!" Come's Dita's voice through the radio. "Mister Alien was supposed to combine with me!"

"I see." Says Jura. "That means that I might be able to become elegant and awesome, too. I look forward to it."

"Crab." I say quickly.

"Huh?" Asks Meia.

"Oh, nothing. Anyway, let's get back to the Nirvana."

Meia squints at me, but says nothing.


Back in the modified Dread and Vanguard hanger, Meia and I stagger away as the repair crews start working on fixing our battered machines.

"...It seems I've an apology to make." Meia says grudgingly.

"Save it." I grumble. "I know you don't mean it. And just so we're clear, it wasn't my idea to head out there."

"I know. And you saved me, so..." Her voice gets really quiet. "I won't object to you coming back to the fighter unit."

"I'll consider it."

She nods and heads off towards the infirmary.

I head back to my quarters, where both Bart and Duelo are doing laundry. It reminds me that I need to wash this cosplay... Er, this worker's outfit. It'll be nice to get into my old clothes again.

"You're back! Hey, whats with that Vanguard?" Bart says.

"Are you alright?" Deulo asks.

"I'm good. The Vanguard is inhabited by an entity from another dimension that thrives on good feelings." I deadpan. "For now, I need a good rest."

I pull my duffel bag out and unzip it for the first time since I got to this universe. I pull out a hoodie and some sweatpants, since it's a bit colder in this area than I'd like. Bart looks at the clothes curiously, but I don't feel like talking to him about it right now.

He snaps his fingers. "I have some pellets left. Here-"

"Mister Alien!"

I sigh and toss my change of clothes onto the bed beside me. Dita comes around the corner like a rocket, knocking the red and white pill shaped nutrient into the air.

I'm going to have to find that later.

She sits down beside me, Pyoro springing up from behind her and grabbing my jaw. Pyoro jack my jaw open and Dita shovels some of the lunch she's tried to give me earlier into my mouth.

It's not the best I've ever tasted, but it is good. "Wow. Thanks, Dita." I take the chopsticks and grab another bite.

"Mister Alien, from now on, you can only combine with me, okay?"

"Er..." I cast about for distractions. "H-Hey Bart, Deulo. want to try some of this? It's delicious!"

"No thank you." "Uh, I've got to... do bridge things." They both decline, and quickly leave the area.

"Cowards." I mutter.

"You're one to talk." Grumbles Pyoro.


"And this bolt goes in... here."

Right now, I'm busy working on my Vanguard. It's a very complicated piece of machinery, and I understand so little of it. Unlike Hibiki, I haven't spent a few years building these to know how to maintain one.

So here I am, disassembling and reassembling it a portion at a time, praying there won't be another alien attack before I can figure out how this works.

When I hear footsteps behind me, I expect it to be Dita, but it ends up being Zan.

"Oh, hey Zan."

"Hey Hibiki." She holds up a boombox like you'd see in the early two-thousand's. "Want to listen?"

I give the wrench another haul, Hibiki's body's strength really coming in handy. If I was still the scrawny guy I was back home, I don't think I'd be able to do this at all. "Sure, just let me come down."

I climb down the steps and greet Zan properly. "So how's things?"

"It's a lot quieter without you around." She says softly. "Gascogne and Meia have had a few discussions about which division you're going to work for."

"They could always, I don't know, ask me." I say. We both sit down on the steel gray floor, Zan about a foot to my right.

She smiles. "I don't think that will happen." He smile fades slightly. "You probably like it better on the front lines, don't you?"

"Actually, no. I'm kind of a coward at heart. I just have to be out there." I shrug.

"You don't have to, you can stick with the Reg crew!" Her eyes are starting to glitter. This means I need to pick my words carefully.

I rub the back of my neck. "Well, it's like this. Have you ever been somewhere, and there a position that needs to be filled, like... when you first came to the pirates. Did you see something that needed done, and decided to do it?"

"Not exactly. I was picked up off Mejare and was told I could work in Reg or in the kitchens, and I'm not good at cooking..."

"Oh, well. For me, any time I see a position open, I feel I have to take it, sane or not. It means people have always been able to recruit me for whatever they wanted, sometimes without them asking specifically." I can't help the little bit of resentment that creeps into my tone. "Right now, it's not like I WANT to pilot the Vanguard, but it's more... an obligation. An obligation to myself that I'm kind of enslaved to."

"That sounds horrible."

"It could be worse. People back home liked me because all they saw of me was the ever helpful young man." A sudden sneeze comes over me, and I barely manage to cover my mouth. "Sorry about that."

"So you don't like helping people?"

Oh, better be careful here. Telling the truth would be bad, but I don't want to lie... "Not really. I do it because I feel I have to, not because of... genuine altruism, I guess." Okay, so half truth then.

Zan looks thoughtful.

"Hey, why don't we listen to the music?" I ask, attempting to change the subject.

"What? Oh, right." She sticks the player on the floor, pulls out a shiny black CD, and places it into a slot on the top. After a few seconds, music starts to play.

And I'd give up forever to touch you,
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow.
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be,
And I don't wanna go home right now.

And all I can taste is this moment,
And all I can breathe is your life,
When sooner or later it's over,
I just don't wanna miss you tonight.

And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

The Goo Goo Dolls' Iris? Wait, no, it's a cover by some girl band, probably the one Zan mentioned. Since the song is one from my universe, that means one of a few things:

Either someone else arrived on Mejare from my world, or this universe is close in history to mine. Hey, maybe it IS my universe, but far in the future!

As I come back from my thoughts, I note that Zan had started to sing along. When it gets to the next chorus, I join in.

And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

"You picked it up quick!" She says once the song dies down.

I scratch at my head. "I guess."

"Did you like it?"

"Yeah. It's very touching. I can imagine two people, lying side by side, one of them confesses their feelings to the other in the form of the song..." I sigh.

"You're... very romantic, aren't you?"

I shake my head. "I'm not. Music just shows me a scene of a story, based on the lyrics and tempo and stuff. When I used to write, I'd always have songs playing in the background to set the mood of whatever story I was writing, and sometimes the best scenes came from music." I laugh quietly. "I think that's why a lot of my music is depressing."

"It's not that bad." Zan says, putting her hand on mine. I resist the urge to pull it away. "There's this one band, The Imperas, whose songs are all about killing themselves."

"I guess." Another sneeze overtakes me.

Before I can suggest playing the next song, Dita comes into the hanger. "Mister Alien! Hi Zan!"

I wave back half-heartedly. She places a box at my feet and sits down on the other side of me from Zan. "I made you lunch, Mister Alien!"

She opens the box to reveal what appears to be pancake absolutely soaked in syrup. As in, she had mad pancakes, chopped them up, and filled the bento box half up with syrup, then filled the rest with pancakes. Those are going to be more than soggy.

"Uh... Thanks. I think."

Dita pulls out a spoon and scoops up some syrup with a chunk of pancake and says "Ahhhh."

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Zan start to blush.

"Wait." I put a hand up to deflect the spoon. "What are you doing?"

Dita blinks. "Feeding you!"

I turn to Zan. "Is that normal?"

"It... It's normal for couples... I think." Her blush gets deeper.

"So then there's no problem!" Says Dita cheerfully.

Ah, right, I need to talk to BC soon- "Ahhh... CHOO!"

Suddenly, I don't feel so well.

"Er, Hibiki? Are you alright?" Zan says.

I feel a cool hand on my forehead. "He's really hot!" Comes Dita's voice. "Let's get him to the doctor!"


"Hmm." Duelo attaches a lot of sensors to my body once I got to the infirmary. The monitor displaying my vitals comes to life slowly as each disk clamps onto my skin.

I really hope these come off easily.

Duelo grabs my thigh and start squeezing it.

"Uh... what are you doing?"

"A clinical check-up."

"Right..."

"You seem rather spent."

"Ah, when I pilot the Vanguard it takes a lot out of me, you know? Especially when... combined with the women." It was harder to say that phrase than I would've thought.

"Let's not talk about women." Duelo says, right as Paiway pops up from behind him.

"What's this, a game?" She points to the vitals monitor.

"Haven't you ever seen a pulse meter before?" Duelo asks.

"It doesn't matter if I have. Organ problems can be fixed in the jacuzzi!"

No, give me modern medical science any day of the week. "Wait, we have a jacuzzi an board?"

Paiway smirks. "Yep! You can't use it though, because it's girls only!"

"No fair." I like hot tubs...


"I can't believe they're sending YOU on this mission." Meia stares at me.

I, for one, am staring at the gaudily painted Vanguards arrayed around me. "I'm the only guy who'se actually piloted that thing for any amount of time..." Wait a second. "Maybe Duelo? But he's busy with-"

"He's so sick his voice isn't steady!" Meia yells. I'm not sure who she's yelling at. Maybe Duelo. Wait, what was it about Duelo?

"I can't wait to combine!" Jura says.

"Don't worry." I say to nobody in particular. "I'm on antibiotics, so you won't catch it either."

"Mister Alien? Do you want me to paint your Vanguard too?"

Hey, at least she's asking. I think.

"No, leave it... leave it." I stop there. My vision is swimming, which makes the Vanguards look even more trippy.

"Whoops, too late." Says Jura.

"Should we stop her?" Meia says with exasperation.

"Do you honestly think you can stop her?" Jura sighs.

"U-Um..." I raise my hand. "Can someone make sure it's not pink she's coloring it? I can't see straight."

"Alright, back to the infirmary with you." Meia says firmly.

"Wow, she did go for pink." Jura remarks.


Later, I'm lying in the hospital bed while the Vanguard simulations are running in the next room. I can't hear whats going on, but I can remember the anime well enough. Meia isn't handling her claws- her claustruuu- her fear of tight spaces.

The ceiling swims above me as the sounds from the next room become louder. I struggle to piece together the mission details. Meia said something about a dead planet we're going to investigate, so it's the planet the sand attacks everyone. It's the only time the girls are in Vanguards, anyway, which makes sense.

Meia doesn't handle it well, which is to be expected, given her reactions up here.

In fact, I can see her walking out of the medical ward. I think.

Someone else enters my line of sight blocking the light from the ceiling. "Next time, you combine with me. Got that?"

I have the suspicion that this is Jura.

"B-but..." I groan out, but Jura is long gone. "Vanguards can't combine." I finish weakly.


After another day goes by, I'm back on my feet, scrubbing pink paint of my Vanguard. She didn't even tape anything off, so it's caking the camera lenses up too.

Why the hell did Hibiki put up with little miss hyperactive?

I hear a soft "Pshew!" behind me. Turning to look, Dita is standing there with a finger gun, a boxed lunch, and a carefree smile.

My stomach gurgles, having not eaten a proper meal in... a day or so.

I accept the food gracefully, and sit down on the spot to eat.

From somewhere in the shop, I hear the shutter sound of a camera.

Looks like Paiway's doing her Pai-check.

"You know, if you were going to ask me about painting it, you should've actually listened." I complain.

Dita turns on her does eyes. "But! You would have said no!"

"Right, which is exactly why you listen to someone saying no." I look back at the armor suit. "It's going to take me hours of scrubbing."

"Want me to help?" Dita asks.

"Yeah, that would be great."

"Okay!" She stands up abruptly, and then jumps down the ladder and practically leaves rubber tracks on the ground from how fast she's going.

"...What was that about?" I wonder aloud. I finish the lunch and resolve to make something for Dita to pay her back. Fair's fair.

Four minutes later, Dita shows up in a bikini, something I don't remember her having during the original run of the series. It's dark blue, the top ties in the center, and the whole thing is relatively modest compared with the late 2010's fashion standard. Then again, it would be racy if this was still the 90's...

She climbs the ladder and starts scrubbing away at the paint with my spare sponge.

I eventually tear my eyes away. "Well, thank you for helping my clean it."

It turns out the swimsuit was a good idea, because once the hose was brought out, nothing stayed dry. The amount of focus on the actual job got lower and lower as time wore on, more people came, and it eventually devolved into a high school car wash. Lots of people I'm unfamiliar with, only Dita, Jura, Barnette and Zan were people I could recognize.

Still, I managed to get my Vanguard back to it's pristine golden sheen despite the major distraction, multiple instances where the high pressure hose was turned on me, and several... interesting proposals from Jura. Not to mention Dita and Zan both kept trying to drag me into the fight themselves...

Despite my worries about water being precious on a spaceship, they had turned the entire floor space into a pool half an inch deep. Soap and pink suds float around the collapsed participants. I suspect that the sight of ten or twelve hot, scantily-clad women breathing hard from laughing and slinging water everywhere should have had some sort of effect on me. Instead, all I wanted to do was take a really long shower, by myself, and head to bed.

As I passed by, Zan stretched a hand upwards from where she was lying on her back. I wave back as walk past.

This journey home... I'm pretty sure I'm trapped on a spaceship with an entire race of sixteen-year-olds, at least mentally. I'm pretty sure normal guys have a wet dream like this at least once in their life, but I can only think of how exhausting this whole thing is going to be.

It's going to suck. Hard.

I get to the door before I realize that if I don't drain the water somehow, I'm not going to be able to unseal the door leading deeper into the ship...


That night, Jura and Barnette ambushed me on my way back to my room, dragging me to the gardens under the bridge. There, a three course meal is laid out on a rolling cart.

They sit me down forcibly and Barnette uncovers the food.

Jura crouches next to me. "Hey, I know you like women's food. So, if you promise to combine with me, you can have all of this!"

I look at it suspiciously. Didn't Barnette do something to this? I take a few sniffs, and sure enough I can smell hot sauce. Not sure what type, but I remember burning my mouth on that smell.

I look up at Barnette. "So, I have a question. Are you and Jura dating? You two are always together..." I whisper to her.

Barnette deflates and tears come to the corners of her eyes. That's answer enough.

"Hey, what are you two whispering about?" Jura asks. "Never mind that, Hibiki, promise me!"

I groan. "Jura, Vanguards can't-"

"Promise me! I want to combine and see my glorious transformation!"

I stare at her in silence for a second. "I'm going back to my room."

"Hey! What do you think you're doing, ignoring Jura like that!" Barnette cried indignantly.

I turn back to her. "I'll try your food next time if it isn't slathered in hot sauce."

"Hot sauce...?" Jura reaches out, grabs a fork and brings a bite of steak to her mouth. She then immediately sucks down the glass of water. "B-Barnette, what kind of stunt are you trying to pull!"

I leave the two of them to bicker and head for my room.

After all, we have a mission pending, and I'm going to want to be rested.

Of course, real life isn't so lenient, even if I'm not convinced this is real life.

"This is our only chance!" Comes BC's voice. "All pilots prepare to disembark!"

But... there's only like four Vanguards. How can all pilots...? Maybe all Vanguard pilots.

I head down, climb into my Vanguard (Squeaky clean and not pink) and grab my umbrella.

Seriously. We're using umbrellas as descent mechanisms. They're not standard umbrellas, not with the heat shielding and some sort of antigravity device based on the spaceship ones, but still. The other three, Jura, Dita and Barnette, are attached to a transport vehicle that's one time use. It'll burn up in the atmosphere before we hit the ground.

I fly ahead, leading the automated craft towards the planet at a reasonable approach vector.

"Alright, approach locked. Still with me, Nirvana?"

"Nirvana?"

The captains voice cuts over whichever of the bridge bunnies asked the question. "We read you. Keep us updated."

"Roger." I switch to the communication channel for the team.

"-y turn to combine! you've done it several times already!"

"Too bad! Mister Alien likes me the best, so he'll be combining with me!"

I hear Barnette sigh before I close the channel. I get the main comms back. "Can I get permission to fire on annoying friendlies?"

"We didn't give Meia permission to fire on you." Comes Magno's calm voice.

"Point taken. Headed into atmo."


Back on the bridge, Magno squints her eyes. The boy already knows the name she chose for the ship?

There's something about him that's not quite right, and it's sending a chill down her spine.

She turns to her second-in-command. "BC. We need to have another talk about Hibiki. Once he's back on the ship, corner him and let's get him to talk."

For some reason, BC doesn't look thrilled at the prospect. In fact, sweat is beading on her face ever so slightly. "If those are your orders."


Our descent was relatively painless. Barnette and I managed to stay on our feet, at least. the other two crash landed.

Surveying the area, there isn't any really much. A few buildings jutting out of the sand, but nothing impressive. No life signs... Just some deadly nanite sand that hasn't quite activated yet. I start doing some scans on it anyway, looking for some sort of communications signal. Let's start with... microwave frequencies.

"Nothing." I comment. "Nothing of interest."

"Hey!" The red Vanguard bumps into me from behind. "Let's combine now."

"No!" Dita calls over the radio. "Mister Alien is going to do it with me!"

A shiver runs down my spine. Save me from that fate, oh Paksis.

"Hey you! Who do you think you're talking to?"

I cut in, unable to stand it any longer. "Both of you get the fuck off comms. I'm not combining, because nobody brought a Dread. Capisce?"

The radio is dead for a second or two. Then Barnette snickers.

From back on the ship, I can hear Bart comment. "Man, his voice gets scary when he's angry."

"I-It's not funny!" Cries Jura.

I sigh heavily. "Nirvana, can I go home?"

"Nope. Meia's on her way."

Aw crap.

Meia comes down through the atmosphere, me keeping an eye on her descent the entire time. She lands a large distance away from to us, so I start trudging over to her. "Where- what are we looking for?" Her voice is strained.

"Meia, open you viewport and look far away." Deulo's voice reaches me as well.

"So... damn... nosey." She groans, and her panicked breathing lessens somewhat.

Suddenly, my Vanguard picks up a signal. It's a repeated broadcast, a binary sequence connecting the... laser tripwire grid I had forgotten about, to the sand. If I can fake that-

Dita and Jura are doing something behind my back, and when I turn around, I see Jura throw Dita off and into one of the exposed buildings.

One with a laser in it.

"Oh, goddammit to he-"