Pairings: NaruHina SasuSaku ChoIno ShikaTema NejiTenten KibaOC KakaAnko JirTsu ect...
This will be very random, maybe so random that you'll all be like O_o did I just read that?! Anyway, the plotline is small, don't expect an epic story. Crack fic.
this chapter may seem offensive to some readers. it bashes homosexuals a little in this fic, although I assure you it isn't too heavy, and I am not a homosexual hater.
Title: TUAOA: Naruto: Random Series
Book: lol
Chapter: Shino, Shikamaru, Sasuke lol'd
"so...custard sex..." Naruto conversed.
"indeed..." Hinata scratched her chin in a thinking pose.
were the conversations of the two random ninjas, known as Naruto and Hinata.
"Shhh! be quite!" Kurenai hushed as she watched out for border patrols.
the group were hiding in an cave on top of the hills. the fire lords men walking by every now and then. the group were trapped and needed to find the right time to escape.
"I don't really care for silence..." Naruto said in a royal voice.
"nor do I..." Hinata chimed, still scratching her chin.
"would you care to be executed by the fire lords men?!" Kurenai shouted lowly.
Naruto thought about it for a while.
"I suppose I wouldn't." Naruto said as he poured himself a cup of tea, while the others wondered how the hell he had found a tea pot, hot watar, tea leaves, and tea cups in the middle of nowhere.
Naruto poured himself and Hinata a cup. the two slurping it as loud as they could in turns.
Sakura's blood was boiling over as she was near to exploding.
just before Sakura could speak however...
"SPLODE!!" Naruto screamed, pointing at Sakura who was taken aback by this outburst, Kurenai gulping as she noticed several patrols coming their way.
"run for it!" Kurenai shouted as the group ran for dear life.
"SQUUUUIIID-KUUUUUUN!!" Naruto and Hinata screamed as they ran.
the group were still running as they ran through the woodlands.
"OI!" Naruto shouted with a weird tone to his voice.
"COME 'ERE!" Naruto said, motioning Shikamaru to come to him with his index finger.
"THAT'S RIGHT!" Naruto said again as Shikamaru looked at him, waiting for the blonds question.
Naruto just smiled at him strangely for an entire ten minutes, the two not losing eye contact.
"what?" Shikamaru asked finally.
no response.
"what?!" Shikamaru asked in an irritated huff.
Naruto licked his lips slowly, creeping Shikamaru out.
"WHAT?!" Shikamaru shouted, showing the most enthusiasm he had ever shown before. Naruto pointed to his back.
Shikamaru looked at his back and his eyes went wide when he noticed a dead squids tentacle flailing about wildly. Shikamaru stopped and screamed like a girl as he threw the limb into the undergrowth.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Shikamaru asked with rage as he was going to have nightmares for a LONG time.
"are you putting attention on my disabilities?" Naruto asked with a sad face.
"wha...?"
"do you find sick pleasure in making fun of others faults and flaws?" Naruto asked a little angrily.
"how shallow are you?!" Hinata asked.
"but..." Shikamaru tried, his mouth opening and shutting rather fast.
Hinata took her shot as she pushed a dead squid into the gaping mouth of the Nara, who yanked the thing out and began chasing the two giggling idiots.
it was at this moment that Kurenai noticed a incapacitated Kakashi lying on the floor. she quickly went to his side, signalling the group to stop. the group stopped near the silver haired Jonin, all except the three mentioned prior.
Kurenai was healing him with her chakra as she knew that'd wake him up faster. Shikamaru finally gave up and sat down cross legged and slumped his head in his hands, sighing heavily. looking highly irate.
Naruto and Hinata meanwhile, had constructed a figure out of tree branches, and had dressed it up to look like Shkamaru, they even used a pineapple for a head. the leaves looking similar to Shikamaru's haircut.
the two tied the figure to a rope and lowered it down to about normal ground level, where Shikamaru just glared at the object.
"hey Sasuke!" Naruto shouted.
"what is it dobe?" Sasuke asked, dreading what the blond would scheme.
"it looks like Shikamaru borrowed your ass stick!" Naruto and Hinata chuckled.
"hey!!" Sasuke growled.
"hey! hey Sasuke!" Hinata shouted.
"what?!"
"duck."
"wha?.."
"DUCK!"
"..."
"DUCK!!"
"Hinata..."
"DUCK!!"
"Hinata!"
"DUCK!!"
"HINATA!"
"DUUUUCK!!"
"!"
Hinata responded by throwing a half eaten carrot at the Uchiha.
"CARROT DUCK!"
"ughhh..."
"hey! hey Sasuke!"
"WHAT?!"
"..."
"WHAT IS IT NARUTO?!"
"..."
"ughh..." Sasuke sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"hey! hey Sasuke!"
"what is it?!"
"..."
"tell me wha!..." Sasuke was interrupted.
"Hey! hey Sasuke!"
"SHUT UP!! OH MY GOD SHUT UP! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THIS WORLD SHUT UP!!" Sasuke began pulling at his hair.
"hey, it doesn't look so much like a duck anymore..." Hinata said as she continued to throw carrots at the Uchiha, aiming for his hair.
"yeah... it looks more like a deformed gorilla's penis." Naruto said as Hinata nodded, as if seeing it instantly.
"how do you know what a deformed gorillas penis looks like?!" Sasuke asked as he tried to get a little revenge.
"because I met your mother once, remember?" Naruto asked as Sasuke began crying in hysteria. Sakura comforting him.
Neji began twitching. the madness, the stupidity... he couldn't take it much longer.
"so... how'd you loik dem mudkipz Neji?" Naruto asked as he noticed the twitching Hyuuga.
said Hyuuga just passed out, thinking it the best course of action.
"I guess he doesn't like Pokémon..." Shino answered.
"Pokémon's gay, you fagget..." Naruto said.
"wha..."
"calm down bummer boy, I'm only wearing shorts.
"that's offensive..."
"whoa whoa whoa, why'd you ask me if I wanted to have hot sweaty bum sex with you? that's a little forward, I'd like a date first please."
"quit it..." Shino said, showing some forms of emotion.
"oi! sailor boy! get back into your closet mate!" Naruto said.
"Naruto, stop it now." Shino said, his face getting redder and redder.
"you're the last person I'd like to be in a jail shower room with!"
"Naruto..."
"when did you join the navy?"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!" Shino shouted as he hit Naruto as hard as he could, sending him over a few tree lines.
afterward Shino was breathing heavily, his face showing his previous rage, and his satisfaction of beating Naruto. Shino cracked his neck as he sighed out happily.
"I am not homosexual!" Shino shouted out as Naruto returned, nursing a bruise.
"hey, you make it sound like a bad thing... why be such a hater? do you hate other peoples so much you resort to hate crimes? you should be ashamed of yourself..." Naruto said as Shino gritted his teeth.
"you were the one calling me homosexual! you used many deeply offensive terms used to stereotype an entire group of people!" Shino shouted angrily.
"all right babe, didn't need your life's story." Naruto said as Shino was beginning to lose his sanity.
"why the hell did you call me babe?!" Shino asked, even though he didn't want to know.
"cause your my girlfriend." Naruto answered casually.
" WHAT?!"
"are you breaking up with me?" Naruto asked in mock sadness.
"yes!... I mean!... we were never together in the first place!"
"oh that's a relief, I thought you were breaking up with me!" Naruto said as slung an arm around Shino's neck.
"we were never together!" Shino said as he rejected Naruto's hand.
"then how come i'm pregnant?! aren't you going to take responsibility and care for the baby?!"
"WE NEVER HAD SEX! AND IT'S IMPOSIBLE FOR A GUY TO IMPREGNATE ANOTHER GUY!" Shino shouted angrily.
"then it's a miracle!" Naruto shouted with joy.
"Ughhh!!" Shino sighed before punching the blond, knocking him out. Shino followed the blond to sleep by passing out soon after.
Hinata cudlled up to Naruto as she slept on him, the entire group actually surprised by this. the two only seemed to be friends...
O
O
well, I'd be happier if more of you REVIEWED! I like making this story and all, but I need feedback and reviews telling me what they did and didn't like, so I may learn.
sorry for the offence I may have issued in this chapter. I meant it all in good sport. I'm all for gay marriage and stuff, I see nothing wrong with their life styles. I just thought it'd be funny to use against Shino
