Eternal, by lyradaemon

Chapter 6: Just once

A/N: Many thanks to reviewers, especially to iluvchocs – I'm so glad you're enjoying it!!!

This is getting really ridiculous now. Not to mention tiresome.

Please, just give up. Give up, and come back to me. I need you. Please. I can't stand this anymore, it's driving me insane, I just can't carry on, I can't…please…

What's the use? You don't listen anyway. You never did. You just carry on in that infuriating manner of yours, oblivious to what I'm saying to you. They try to make me leave you, you know. All of them, the old ones, the young ones, even your newest one. Try to make me go away, go back 'home'. Home. How dare they! You're home. You. But they just don't understand. I don't understand them. Why do they do this? Are they making me leave you because of the pain my constant berating causes you? Or because of the pain you're causing me? Because you are causing pain – don't think for a moment that you're innocent here. They don't think you can imagine at all how much you're hurting me. I don't think you can imagine. You know. You realize what you're doing to me, but you like the pain you're causing, don't you? I know you do. You always liked to hurt me.

No you didn't.

Oh God.

But he's the one who got you into this mess in the first place. Him and that woman…I swear, there will be no stopping me when I find her. I hate her. I hate her so much…

You don't though. You love her; for some incomprehensible, inexplicable reason you, you of all people, love this weak, frail mortal woman who has caused so much hurt for everyone. Oh, I loathe her, everything she is, everything she stands for, I loathe! I can't hurt her if you love her, because then I'd be hurting you and I can't do that.

I can.

I can hurt you, damn you, and I will! After everything you've put me through…gods, you deserve all that I throw at you. You don't deserve anything.

Oh, I'm rambling again.

They're going to start thinking I've gone mad too. They already do, actually. They thinking I'm crazy to even go anywhere near you; not surprising, considering the amount of people you've killed from coming too close. But you wouldn't hurt me.

Yes you would. You already have.

I hate you sometimes.

Your life is so easy now, isn't it? A cold church floor, a flock of your immortal companions around you, coming and going so quietly, yet always letting you know they're here for you. Huh. Since when have you needed anybody? You, the powerful, you, the indestructible. Yet here you are, lying like the innocent child you're not, blissful in your ignorance, unaware of everything. But you are aware. You simply choose to ignore it all; so easy, isn't it? Maybe I should ignore everything too. Maybe I should give up like you have.

What do you think?

Oh, that's right, you don't care.

I love you so much.

I can't keep going like this. Watching you every night, wrapped in whatever strange little world you've sunk into, surrounded by pleasant dreams or horrifying nightmares, I don't know. I can't know. Your face shows nothing; no emotions. Only emptiness. Like you're not there. But you are there. You must be. I can't love an empty shell.

Logic is obviously not my strong point.

Come back to me, beloved. Please, with everything in me, I beg you, I beg, please, just come back. If only for a while, just do it. You can return to wherever you're hiding again afterwards; if it makes your existence more bearable, I don't care, I'll let you go back, I don't care, I promise I'll let you.

Just once. That's all I'm asking.

One kiss.

One promise.

I want to know you're still here.

That there's someone still to love.

That you will come back to me.

Whenever that may be.

Just once.

It's all I ask.