Hey people! Well we made it to number 4, which is the death number in Chinese! Woot woot! Well, let's just say thank goodness that I cranked up the rating for this story or I'd get in troooouble! Things are about to get a little bit crazy. I'm not kidding. We are about to delve into the mind of a high off of her hypothetical balls Jade West, and I mean delve cause it's gonna be part first person narration, don't worry, we'll go back to the god view later in the chapter, just thought it'd be funner this way. Yes, she talks to herself, and stuff like that, it's a bit confusing, but so is your brain when you are high. Also, shit's about to go down later in the chapter, just sayin', don't wanna give too much away.

Wanna thank my usual suspects, and add to my list of awesome reviewers Radachu and melymely. Reviews make me feel all warm and toasty inside, which is fantastic, considering it's cold as hell over here.

Disclaimer: Still don't own anything, I checked.


"Huh, I'm sweating, my heart's beating faster, my lips are swollen, my neck is… are those teeth? There's a soft tan hand gripping my left breast, it's tenderly trailing down to my navel…" WHOA, this is some strong chiz! Lemme roll down the window… Why does my brain automatically go there?-You know why Jade, don't question yourself, you haven't gotten any in a while. I will question myself, that's what I feel like doing!-No, you feel like watching somebody get whacked in the nuts with a golf club. I'm feeling all classy and shit. Teeheeh! -Oh gods Jade, control yourself, there might be people watching. –Fuck 'em, if they're watching, they should bring me a freaking burger. Lemme just take out my PearBook…there, search wifis available…that one's good. And now let's go on TheSlap, no I don't want to see my notifications! Oh there it is, guy accidentally hurts himself with a golf club…

… Ugh, leave me alone! No I don't want to chat with… however the fuck that is. Let me just log out of here… Let's watch some Adventure Time instead. That shit's mind blowing… whoa! What the fuck Treetrunks! ...

… How the hell does Jake keep pulling that chiz… Aww damn it. I'm questioning Adventure Time. I guess it's wearing off. Fuck me, I'm hungry. Aww dammit I have to go see Vega now, frowney face…pfft. What time is it… twenty past midnight? Whoa, time flies when you're getting high. Hah! That rhymed!... Stupid munchies, I'm freaking starving. Alright let me just get my boot on… Let's roll to the front seat…hey now, let's appear lady-like Miss West. Don't want to get people to get suspicious now do we? Where the fuck did I put my keys?! Let's check my bra…pfft, who am I kidding, nothing fits there! Oh here they are, right where I was seating! Ok, put key in ignition, done. Revvv revvv up the engine, god I love you Volksy. Let's play some tunes, connect PearPod to Volksy, done. Yeah you like that don't cha Volksy! Ok, pressing play. Releasing break, and away we go! Weee! Oh god stop it Jade you're sounding like Cat! Shiver and you deserve this facepalm West, just be glad it isn't with the shovel. 'Nyways, should we go to Mickey D's?-But you know who makes the best brownies, Lloyd. Mmmm, brownies. Ok, we'll just pass by the diner, and if… She, is there, we'll just have to settle for a McDonalds brownie, like everything else in life.

OK, get a grip now. Swerve to the left, no cars, sweet. Ok, take a right, let's approach the dinner slowly… Vega-less! Fantastic! Oh, here comes Hellie.

"Yeah hey."

"Hey, you came!"

"Yea, you know, I'm hungry."

"I thought you'd be, so I had Lloyd make you the Jade-munchies special."

Oh em gee. She lies. "You lie!"

"Nope, wrapped it up in a doggie bag. A burger with large fries, two brownies and a large coffee with a shot of hazelnut. So what the hell was the problem?"

Gimme! -Don't judge me. "The problem Hell, is that you know me too well. But thanks, put it on my tab."

"Make sure to send me a message when you get home."


Jade gave Hellie a smile and a nod after the woman handed her the brown bag, she placed it in the front seat next to her. She took off, driving her way home, until she spotted something that made her pull over. "Vega."

Tori was at the bus stop, looking inpatient. Given that this was downtown Los Angeles after midnight, anyone would be on edge. Jade didn't want Tori to notice her, so she parked a safe distance from the bus stop and put on the emergency lights. She was starving; the smells of coffee and fries were driving her mad. She took out the Styrofoam coffee cup, and took a long sip before placing it in the car's cup holder, then proceeded in shoving a handful of fries in her mouth. "Let's see what little miss Vega is up to." She said while still chewing.

Tori was trying to call Trina with no response. It was late, and the next bus would only come in at least 20 minutes. Who knows what could happen until then? This wasn't a particularly well-lit area of L.A., not to say that would change anything. Sadly Hellie wasn't able to take her home, apparently her motorbike was in the shop and she was being driven around by friends. Even if that wasn't the case, Tori wouldn't be able to ask her for a ride, she didn't want to make a bad first impression on her first day, cousin or not. She was beginning to start regretting taking up the job, just to save up to buy her own car. "Damn it Trina!"

Jade spotted a group of 4 men clearly looking up to no good. They were loud, were less than playfully knocking each other around, and had enough tattoo ink between the four of them to paint a detailed map of the Americas. They were on the other side of the street, so maybe they wouldn't notice Tori. "Ah great" Jade quickly reached for her glove box, where she kept a purse with a pair of scissors, mace and a taser gun. She immediately got out of the car, reached in the boot and took out her shovel. Jade swung the shovel on her right shoulder, locked her car and started walking towards Tori, reaching her classmate before the group did. Jade put herself between the men and Tori, "Just walk away." She said.

"Or what girl? You gonna hit us with the shovel?" The man closest to them said, while the others snickered between them.

Jade remained composed, swinging the shovel to the floor, then smirked, while reaching inside her purse for her scissors. "I could, but what fun would that be? I would just create a mess, and I'm more about detail work. Like how I could use my lovely scissors here and dig out your eyeballs, shoving one up your ass and one in your mouth, so you could see which one has more shit coming out of it."

The man briefly glanced to Tori, who had remained frozen, staring in shock. Jade noticed the slight interaction and continued, while somewhat leaning against the shovel. "And that's just one of the many items in my purse, you know why they say 'never look in a woman's purse'? Because it can kill you. Not that it would, of course, I'd never let that happen, I'd make sure it looked like you "accidentally" swallowed your "accidentally" cut off foot, while your cock was "accidentally" cut off and shoved inside your friend's mouth there." Jade used air quotation marks to stress her point, while using her scissors' handle to show the man who appeared to be the runt of the group, all the while keeping the biggest smile on her lips she could muster. The men had expressions that ranged from questioning to appalled.

"Look girl, I don't know who-"

Jade let out a noise between a grunt and a sigh successfully cutting him off. "Look, I'm bored, I'm tired and I really have better things to do, as I'm sure you do too, so how about we just do like I said, and we all just walk away."

The leader of the group looked back to his friends, who all shrugged in response, he lifted his arms above his head while all men turned away, while one said "These bitches crazy" another member of the group let out a "It ain't worth it" And continued in their original direction.

As the men turned their backs, Jade swung the shovel on her shoulder and swiftly grabbed Tori's wrist, leading the girl to her car. "Let's go before they change their minds" Jade unlocked her car, and threw the shovel in the backseat. Tori continued with her mouth open, pulling a phenomenal stunned deer impression. "Get in the car Tori"

After a slight shake of the head, Tori was pulled back to reality. "Oh no, I'm not getting in a car with you, not after last time!"

Jade got enraged, "Are you kidding me!? Right after I-" Jade cut herself off, it was imprudent to make any loud noises at the moment. "Vega, I'm not fucking around, get in the car, NOW." She said through gritted teeth.

Tori complied, though she was still unsure if it was the safest choice.


Ok, hope that wasn't incredibly confusing and that thanks to this chapter I'm gonna lose my tiny follower base... :( The chapter's song name is by the band Placebo.

And if any of you find yourselves in a situation similar to the girls', walk away, don't make eye contact, and if they follow you call the police. For realsies, don't pull the hero move like Jade, 'cause "that bitch crazy!"