I stared at Jacob, as he stood over me with a smug expression.

"I'm about to make a sandwich out of your face..." I mumbled, putting my hands on my hips.

"Listen Miss Batty attitude," Jacob began, pausing to laugh at his own pun.

(I seriously considered throwing up right then)

"I think maybe you should go and eat some wittle wambies before you get too cranky, huh?"

I glared up at him.

Eh, there was no point in fighting this geek. I hitched around my skirt, turned my back to wolf-boy, and took off running at full speed, not bothering to look back.

.............................................

So, there I was, in the middle of Boring USA, wandering around. Should I ASK where the Cullens were? What if they'd already left? Are baked potatoes actually good for you? (The last one may not matter at the moment, but I have a long time left on the earth, it's worth figuring out sometime)

"Bllleeeehhh...." I groaned, plopping down on a bench. A soft breeze blew strands of pink bangs out of my face.

"Where is destiny when you need it?" I thought.

Well, right about then, destiny came in the form of a big red truck.

It stopped by the bench for no apparent reason, and the tinted front window rolled down to reveal a brunette at the driver's seat.

"Hey," she said "You look...familiar. Have we...met before? I mean, I couldn't help notice...you look like you're...uh..."

"I doubt we've met." I said coldly. I was also beginning to doubt that her natural hair color was actually blonde.

"Um, you...lost?"

"Duh." My brain scoffed at her.

"Yeah, a little. I'm looking for...the Cullen family, do they live here?"

Her face went white. "The-the Cullens? Why? Do you have a-a medical problem for the doctor because I can take you to the hospital and--"

"No," I said, keeping my voice calm. This chick had some spastic issues, it was almost like what Jacob had done. Did the whole WORLD know that the Cullens weren't human?

"I need to see the whole family. Is that a prob-a-lem?" I said, very slowly.

She narrowed her eyes slightly, then pulled me into the cab and slammed the door.

"What do you know?" she said quietly.

"Why is everybody in this town crazy?! First the Jacob guy, now you and—"

"Jake? Jacob Black?"

"Um..I think so but—"

"Ugh," she sighed, rolling her eyes, "Don't listen to a WORD he tells you, unless..." she paused. "Are you...are you a vampire?" The last word came out as a squeak.

"You..." I tried to come up with a sentence, "Human...How much about us do you know?!"

I was so ready to strangle someone. Anyone really.

She sighed, and held up her left hand, showing a ring.

"I know everything. Edward is my....fiancé." She grumbled out the last word as if it were puke.

"Fiancé?! But you're—"

"Yeah. Not for long."

"Omigosh..." I mumbled. "This world has gone into chaos. Humans marrying vampires, crazy wolf people..."

I shook my head off. I needed some meditation.

Meanwhile, Brunette regained her composure.

"So," she smiled, "You want a ride?"