Intermezzo I - Dobby vs Kreacher
Bang! One of the wooden beams supporting the roof construction of an old
windmill broke and fell down as it was hit by a spell. Crack - a house-elf
disappeared from underneath it just the moment it fell. He reappeared at
the other end of the top floor of the building, which consisted entirely of
the rest of old, rotten floorboards, most of which had collapsed years ago.
He shot a curse on his opponent, who used the same tactics and vanished.
Dobby spent few moments anxiously looking around, until Kreacher reappeared
on a huge pipe connecting a system of gear-wheels with a giant windshaft in
front of the building. Dobby was ready to strike again, and so was
Kreacher. He threw a look full of arrogance and loathing on Dobby.
'Traitor of our nation' he muttered 'Scum. Wretched bastard. Disgrace of
the elfkind.' He cast another spell but missed again. The building now
shook dangerously with every new spell that hit its construction.
'It is over' squeaked Dobby. 'He-who-must-not-be-named shall soon be
defeated by professor Dumbledore and the Order. Kreacher is a bad, bad
house-elf serving the You-know-who's death-eaters.'
'He breaks the tradition. He wears clothes.. The filthy little. he is happy
to be free and he even works for money the little pervert. oh the shame of
it. and now he dares to teach me about good and bad, the lousy prat.'
A spell flew from Kreacher's outstretched hand and Dobby disapparated
again. He didn't dare attacking Kreacher while he was standing there, if
the windshaft fell, it would bring down whole building. Unless. Dobby
concentrated, this spell was difficult. The force of the spell that
emanated from his hand was such that every last rat in the mill felt its
fur stand as it passed and Kreacher was forced to conjure a shining silver
shield out of thin air to deflect it. Kreacher sent a jet of green light on
Dobby. A pigeon flew in through a broken window, swallowed the spell and
exploded. Everything was covered in feathers. Kreacher shot another spell
and this time Dobby conjured a golden shield that deflected the spell back
to Kreacher, where it was deflected by Kreacher's shield. Both of them
watched it with bored expressions on their faces, as it was ricocheting
between them for two minutes, until it faded and vanished.
'This is useless' muttered Kreacher, as he pulled out his wand, wondering
why on earth hasn't he done it yet. Dobby pulled out a wand too, wondering
what on earth was a wand doing in his pocket. They stood face-to-face,
ready to duel.
'Expelliarmus!' shouted Dobby.
'Avada Kedavra!' cried Kreacher.
A jet of green light issued from Kreacher's wand just as a jet of red light
blasted from Dobby's - the met in mid-air - and suddenly, Dobby's wand was
vibrating as though an electric charge was surging through it; his hand had
seized up around it; he couldn't have released it if he'd wanted to - and a
narrow beam of gold light was now connecting their wands. 'For heaven's
sake, just not priori incantatem' muttered Kreacher.
It was as though large beads of light were sliding up and down the thread
connecting the wands. Both of them concentrated on forcing the beads
towards their opponent. They knew it had no sense, but they were both
curious about what was the other one using his wand for. Dobby won this
fight, the beads connected with Kreacher's wand, and all sorts of dense
smoky things began emerging from it. It was all useless rubbish, bewitched
to cause damage - a biting denture with vampire fangs, a necklace that was
shrinking in order to strangle its fictive bearer and expanding again, a
telescope with a hidden blade emerging every now and then from the ocular
and similar stuff. Kreacher was probably ordered to conjure these things by
Mrs Black's portrait, except for the last piece which was obviously his own
idea - it seemed to be an enlarged version of his previous master's old
underpants. Kreacher went slightly red and broke the connection. There was
a moment of awkward silence and then Kreacher spoke again: 'it is obvious
that this contest can not be decided by our magical powers,' he said
dramatically, 'but by our skills with the lightsabre.'
'What???' Dobby stared at him as if he had never seen a house-elf, even
though he himself was one.
'Dobby should have read the script book more carefully' said Kreacher
impatiently.
Dobby took out a small script and searched it for a while. 'Oh, really' he
said in a surprised voice. 'Dobby wouldn't believe this.'
Kreacher took out a lightsabre and turned it on. It was red. Dobby's one
was green. Kreacher was about to strike when Dobby interrupted him. 'Wait!
This is wrong! Dobby should have the red sabre.'
'If Dobby considers himself such an expert on good and evil,' said Kreacher
in a taunting voice, 'Kreacher would say he should know that the red sabres
always have the bad guys.'
'Dobby knows that, but green is colour of Slytherin, and red is colour of
Gryffindor.'
'Oh yeah. Dobby is right' said Kreacher. The house-elves swapped their
lightsabres. Dobby grinned at the thought of George Lucas, tearing his hair
off. The elves began fighting. It was getting dark and you could barely see
more than two neon tubes swishing stupidly through the darkness. None of
them was good at this, so they kept tripping and falling over, not
mentioning that the sabres were too big for them. Every now and then they
chopped off another beam, which caused the building to dangle. They started
apparating, hoping that they would simply apparate with a sword inside
their enemy. This was very dangerous, for you could apparate right into
your enemy's sword.
Dobby and Kreacher appeared at the tiny board that was now the last
reminder of the top floor. Kreacher lost his balance and fell. He dropped
the lightsabre and remained hanging right over the grinding machine.
Suddenly the grinder began to move as if Hagrid and his little bro were
standing outside and blowing on the sails. The building was creaking
maliciously. Dobby was standing over Kreacher, his lightsabre pointed at
his neck.
'Kreacher will now pay for his treachery' said Dobby triumphantly.
'Wait!' squeaked Kreacher. 'Hasn't Obi Van told dobby the truth about his
father?'
'Who the hell is Obi Van?' asked Dobby.
'Kreacher doesn't know. But that's not the point. The point is that Dobby
can't kill Kreacher, because Kreacher is Dobby's father!'
End of Intermezzo I