A.N. * cowers in corner * sorry! RL caught up with me – that is, I went on a cruise at the beginning of Feburary, then had writer's block, then gave up fanfiction for Lent. * holds out peace offering * longer chapter than normal? * awkward smile *
Disclaimer: Narnia belongs to Clive S. Lewis, Diana Arden belongs to lemonsmania, Miss Ariel belongs to Ariyah/Ariel_of_Narnia (thanks much!), Miss Cam is the ultimate headmaster of all the OFUs, and I only own an Under Armor backpack, not the company itself. Oh, and the Hunger Games belongs to Suzanne Collins. No, I'm not a really big fan, but I needed a OFU that Diana could have been rejected from. * apologetic smile to THG fans * But seriously, the OFUP does not exist yet…at least I don't think so…
-still unbetaed-
Chapter 4
"Stay here." Mr. Scrubb ordered Anna and Ker'lisse. "We'll go in and pick up Diana."
Ker'lisse brightened up at this. With both Mr. Scrubb and Tavros gone, she might finally get a chance to talk with Anna about William – wait, no, Peter.
Mr. Scrubb opened her door as well, beckoning Eustase out of the carriage. As soon as he closed the door, Ker'lisse leaned over and asked Anna, "Are you excited to meet Peter?"
Anna shrugged. "Well, he's the High King of Narnia, so I suppose I am. But I'm more interested in meeting Queen Lucy and Reepicheep."
"But how could you not want to meet Peter? It's like meeting Justin Bieber, only better!" Ker'lisse gushed.
Anna rolled her eyes. "Well, I would rather NOT meet Justin Bieber, thankyouverymuch."i
"Well then, you must like Edmund, at least!" Ker'lisse pleaded.
Shrugging again, Anna replied, "I suppose so. But really, I'm not attracted to any of the Friends of Narnia."
"The Friends of Narnia? Is that some kind of Narnia geek society or something?" Ker'lisse asked, confused. "Why would you be attracted to geeks?"
Anna facepalmed and muttered "Stupid moviewatchers." Then she said, "You know, in The Last Battle? The seven Friends of Narnia? Digory, Polly, Pe-the High King, Edmund, Lucy, Jill, and Eus-Mr. Scrubb? Ring any bells?"
"They formed a secret geek society?" Ker'lisse asked.
Anna proceeded to slap her forehead. Then she said, "Never mind," and turned to stare out the window.
Ker'lisse humphed, crossed her arms, and turned to look out her own window, relapsing back into daydreams about the High King as soon as she made sure there weren't any hidden mini-serpents in the carriage. Anna glanced over, saw that daydreamy look on her face, rolled her eyes, and proceeded to start writing in a notebook.
"September 2
Don't know if I'm dreaming or not. A redhaired lady rang my doorbell after breakfast and introduced herself as Prunaprismia. I was like 'Yay for bookverse!' and she sighed and told me that she had come to pick me up for college. And I was like 'um…I'm only in high school…' and she sighed again and said, 'Didn't you sign up for the Official Fanfiction University of Narnia?' and of course, I actually understood that that was a rhetorical question.
But then I was like 'Wait, I signed up for the NARNIAN one?' and she was like "You signed up for both OFUN and OFUM at the same time, don't you remember? You checked the "Double Deal: Two OFUs for the price of one!" box.' So apparently when I signed up for OFUM, I signed up for this one too. Makes some sort of twisted sense, since I was in the middle of a crossover not too long ago.'
She quickly closed the notebook when she heard voices coming closer to the carriage. The door opened, and Anna reluctantly scooted over closer to Ker'lisse to make room for Diana.
Diana was a tall brunette, carrying an Under Armor drawstring bag. Anna's first impression of her was that she was one of those stoic atheletic types.
And then this impression was totally shattered when Diana jumped in the carriage and started chattering excitedly. "So do you think we're still dreaming? It doesn't feel like a dream, but you never know. I hope this is reality, because that means that we're actually going to get to meet all the Kings and Queens of Narnia and all the talking animals and dryads and centaurs and naiads! I'm really excited! Aren't you?" she asked when she finally paused for breath.
Anna smiled. Finally, someone to fangirl with who wasn't inexplicably obsessed with Skandar or William! "Of course!" She had no more time to say anything because Diana went off again.
"You know, I heard that the Official Fanfiction University of Narnia can actually give you a real degree, not just in fanfiction." Diana said.
"Oh?" Anna asked, her interest piqued. "And how would that work?"
"Well, I think that you can get a degree that would actually be valid in Narnia, you know, the Narnia of Aslan, not the old Narnia. Apparently the Telmarine culture requires degrees for some vocations." Diana shrugged.
Anna sighed. "Well then, that would require us to stay in Narnia."
"I'm not objecting to THAT!" Diana laughed.
"Staying in Narnia? Oh, I'd most definitely NOT object to that, especially not if my Petey-kins is there!" Ker'lisse gushed.
Dianna and Anna were barely able to hold in their laughter. As it was, Ker'lisse raised her dainty eybrows at the other girls' shaking shoulders. "What are you laughing at?"
"Oh, nothing, nothing at all." Anna waved a dismissive hand when she had somewhat recovered.
Ker'lisse hmphed, not believing her, and turned to stare out the window, arms crossed. She was promptly startled by Tavros' huge hairy face almost pressed up against the glass.
"Y'all right in there? Eustace – Mr. Scrubb has to make a call to Miss Sara. It might take a bit." He rumbled.
"Miss Sara? Who's she?" Anna asked, confused.
Tavros sighed. "She's the Assistant Headmaster of the University. You'll get to know her soon enough." He chucked at this, memories of previous hapless students springing to mind. "She'll soon set you to rights, especially our Miss Rachel – I mean Ker'lisse – here. 'Learn through pain', that's her motto. The motto of all Assistant Headmasters of any and all Official Fanfiction Universities. Miss Cam was the first."
Anna groaned. Memories of OFUM were enough to freak her out, even though she was one of the star students, since she had no lust object from Middle-eart. Well, there's that small smidge of Faramir, but…Moving on before Anna decides to lynch the Authoress.
To break her chain of thought, she turned to Diana and asked, "So, have you been to any of the Fanfiction Universities?"
"Nah, I was rejected from the Official Fanfiction University of Panem." she said sadly, shaking her head. "You?"
"OFUM. The original. And believe me, it was NOT fun." Anna replied.
"You went to Lord of the Rings land?" Ker'lisse squeed. "Did you meet Legolas?"
Anna sighed. "It's called MIDDLE-EARTH, my dear. And yes, I did meet Legolas, who is most certainly NOT all he's cut out to be."
Ker'lisse gasped. "You mean he's even hotter?"
Rolling her eyes and slapping her forehead, Anna replied, "No."
Shrugging, Ker'lisse said, "Whatever. Peter's hotter anyways."
Anna rolled her eyes again, glancing at Diana, who sighed and slapped her forehead as well. Leaning over, she whispered, "Can't do anything about her, eh, Anna? Hopeless Sue."
"Ah well, like you said, she's a Sue. What do you expect?" Anna asked rhetorically.
Suddenly the carriage lurched forward. The three girls bolted up in surprise, as they hadn't even realized that Mr. Scrubb or Tavros had gotten in the carriage.
"You all right back there?" Mr. Scrubb asked. "It's going to be a long ride. See if you can get some sleep – you'll need it once classes start. Miss Sara works students hard. Very hard"
Following his advice, Diana soon fell asleep, due to both the gentle clip-clop of the horses and Ker'lisse's endless and monotonous ramblings of Peter, which stopped after a while.
Ker'lisse herself, however, could not fall asleep. She stared out the window as the sun sank below the horizon and the stars came out. Clenching her fists in excitement, she whispered "Yes! I'm coming, Peter!"
Anna, who had dozed off, sighed at this and sat up, shaking Eustase the mini-serpent off her shoulder as she did so. Ignoring its annoyed hiss, she snarled "Shut UP, Ker'lisse!" The blasted girl, however, shot her a disgusted glance and went back to whispering out the window.
Anna rolled her eyes and asked Mr. Scrubb cautiously, "How much alike are OFUN and OFUM?"
"Not too different. I mean, we've got our bloodthirsty Assistant Headmaster, we've got our minis, our heavily guarded lust objects, and our reanimated bad guys. But our Assistant Headmaster's got a good side to her as well."
"Well, that's something Miss Cam certainly doesn't have." Anna sighed.
Mr. Scrubb shook his head. "I'm not saying that Miss Sara isn't wholly bloodthirsty and malevolent. What I'm saying is that Miss Ariel is her good side. The one who tells her when you kids have had enough."
Mulling over this, Anna asked, "So Miss Ariel is like the good cop, and Miss Sara is like the bad cop?"
"Sure." Mr. Scrubb replied. "I'd guess that's a decent way of putting it."
"So, any other differences? Diana was telling me that she ehard that we can get actual degrees at OFUN, not just degrees in fanfiction writing." Anna said.
"That's true. Technically, OFUN is a misnomer. Just OUN – the Official University of Narnia – would be more fitting, but it started out as a fanfiction university, and that it will stay. But the degrees are only valid in the real Narnia, not in any of the Shadowlands." Mr. Scrubb answered.
Anna thought about this for a minute, taking it in. "So if we choose to live in Narnia, we can get a job and all?"
"Yeah, sure. And the whole muddle about the times applies here too. But you can only live in Narnia for stints of 20 years. Don't ask me why, ask Aslan himself. Anyways, 20 years seems like a lot, but some find that it goes by like a blink of an eye. Now, seriously, get some sleep." Mr. Scrubb insisted.
"What about you?" Anna asked, worried.
He shrugged. "I'll be fine. The horses can go by themselves when they need to – they've walked this path enough times already to know every bump in the road."
Was it long enough? Never mind, I hope the next chapter'll come pretty fast…
Read and review? * puppy eyes *
