This chapter explains a little bit more and has the beginning of the investigation as to what happened in it. I ran a spelling check and read it twice, but I have a feeling there are still some spelling and/or grammar mistakes in here. I apologize in advance for that!

Aside from that, enjoy!


Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had. No one waits forever.


My jaw drops as police report after police report pop up on my screen. I take a deep breath; it's going to take forever to read all of them. 'Don't give up now,' I think. I know that this is only going to be the first, small bump in the road to finding them. There are going to be a lot more, difficult, problems I'll have to deal with.

I open the first report; it's a couple of pages long. 'Think like a profiler. What would I be looking for?' The report pretty much tells the story I have been told: Something went wrong with the plane engine, it ended up crashing in the woods and, beside from the pilot, no bodies were found. The report is just a little more extensive than the version I've been told...

I close the document and open another report. They made a police report for every member of the team, but they are each slightly different as always in these kind of cases. It makes me sad to think that these kind of events have happened before... what if there's been somebody who was in the exact same position as I'm in now? I wonder what has happened to her, or him of course.

'Focus Penny,' I tell myself. What would Reid look for if he were reading this? Oh, right, he reads so fast, he doesn't have to look for anything in particular, he can just read the entire report before I'm done reading the first sentence. I sigh and put my head in my hands.

I start reading the report in Derek's file; I scan the pages real quick. It's the same one as Prentiss' one, it's the same... 'Wait, what?' I think and look a little closer. Part of the report isn't the same. Cause of the accident was a broken propeller, it says in this one. It mentions nothing about the engine breaking. ''Well, that doesn't make sense,'' I say out loud to myself.

Aside from that part it's pretty much the same story, just put into different words. I open the other reports and skip right ahead to the 'cause of accident' part. Some of them have the same story as Emily's, some the same as Derek's, but Reid's is something different: the pilot was under the influence of narcotics. I shake my head, this can't be right...

I close the reports and just sit there for a while, laptop in my lap. 'How is this possible? How come there are different stories? Is somebody trying to cover anything up, and doing a really bad job at it?'

I get another idea; something that might give me more clues as to what happened. I log onto a different program and pull up the satellite footage. Okay, I enter the date, the approximate time and the coordinates. As soon as I click 'enter' it opens up a new screen. I immediately recognize it and can feel a lump for in my throat. It takes me back to the vision I had when I was unconscious.

I take a deep breath before I zoom in and put it on time-lapse, waiting for the moment I get to see the plane crash. Waiting for the moment that killed my family, or not; if it turns out I'm right. I bite my lip when I can see the plane appear but it's not crashing yet. I clench my fists and look away for second, I try to hold back my tears but fail.

When I look back I see that the image has gone almost completely black, dense smoke filling up the air. I zoom in a little closer to the place where the plane crashed, waiting for the air to clear up. When it finally does I have trouble telling what I'm looking at. I turn my head a little trying to make up all the different shapes and make sense of it. I recognize the two parts of the plane, a few feet between the tear that tore the pieces apart. I can't see what's inside so I'm only guessing that what's going on is what I saw in my vision.

I time-lapse forward and I can see something move. I can't zoom in far enough to be able to tell if I'm watching my family trying to save their lives. It is a little blurry, I can't tell what it is but there's definitely something moving.

I take a deep, shaky breath and sit up a little straighter. All my attention, focused on one thing. This is what I've been waiting for. This is what I need to survive; this is what will help me get through the entire time that it'll take me to locate them. All the struggle I make come across, I'll be able to deal with it because of this. I slow the time-lapse down and continue to see things moving, it looks like a small group of people. Though it might only look like that because that's what I want it to be.

With all this footage I can just see where they're going and it'll lead me straight to where they are now, if I'm lucky. I rub my hands together; I'm going to find them. I'm going to keep my promise and take you home. 'You'll be okay, just wait and see.'

I can see them walking around, a little hesitant. Just a bunch of tiny dots moving around. Not even recognizable as human beings, but they're there. My hands flies to my mouth, I can't believe this is actually happening. I can actually feel the hope filling my body. I break out in sobs, relieved it's going to be over. Relieved it's all going to be okay... Relieved that there was a reason I didn't die that day.

I continue watching, knowing that I'm going to watch this all night long. As long as I need, just to figure out where they are now.

I frown when I can suddenly see something move at the bottom of my screen. It seems to be another group of people, or maybe... I don't even get the change to finish that thought before the screen blanks and a small, gray window pops up. I can feel horror fill my body when I read what it says: ''Footage Unavailable''.

I swallow hard and click it away, clicking on the black screen waiting for it to continue. ''Come on, come on... just please work damn it!'' I say to myself. The frustration is overwhelming. My hands are shaking, it has to continue; it has to show me where they are going.

I click the screen away and read the rest of the message. On that day there was a problem with one of the satellites. The exact one that taped the footage of that area. The only satellite that covered that area. It is unclear what was wrong with it but the problem was eventually resolved.

I take a deep breath. My mind is pure chaos. Why that satellite? Why that moment?

I click back to the black screen, just waiting for something... anything to happen. ''Please just... do something,'' I say in a shaky whisper through my tears.
My face lights up when suddenly the image recovers. It's the same woods; I look at the time... nearly 5 hours after the last footage I saw. The tiny dots are gone... my family is gone. I touch the spot where they used to be on my screen.

I take a moment to calm down before I zoom in on another part of the forest, but there's no movement. No tiny dots, no family, no hope... It's all gone.

I let out a scream in frustration as I practically throw my laptop on the coffee table and stand up. I start pacing around nervously, running my hand through my hair over and over again. It can't just all be gone like that, it just can't.

I run to the bathroom and empty the contents of my stomach in the porcelain bowl before sinking down on the floor. Curling up on the small rug on the cold, hard floor. I feel paralyzed, all the strength that was so strong just a few minutes ago, it's gone.

The hope I had that was going to help me through all the tough times, it's pouring out of me as I cry uncontrollably. My entire body aches, a burning sensation in my limbs. I bite my lip and hit my head against the floor a couple of times, punishing myself. I'm not sure why I do this; it wasn't my fault, but... What if I could have done something sooner? What if I had started looking earlier? What could I have done to have prevented them from getting on that plane?

I hit the floor a couple of times with my flat hand, smash my head into it a couple of times again. And then I just lay there. I'm not even crying anymore. I don't feel sad, I don't feel frustrated... I don't feel anything. Just a painful emptiness that can never be filled.

I feel exhausted, something I hadn't noticed before. I lay there a while. I don't know how long but, since I'm too tired to get up and go to bed, I close my eyes for just one moment, one second I just need there to be darkness. But when I open them again there's a ray of sunshine pouring through the small window.

I must've fallen asleep, not that it helped; I'm still exhausted. I stand up slowly, and in pain, and walk over to the mirror. My reflection startles me; my hair is messed up, there are mascara stains on my cheeks all the way down to my chin and my skin looks paler than it ever has before. I shake my head in disapproval, mad at myself.

I just stand there for a moment, looking at myself. 'I have to take a shower,' I think and I see myself frown in the mirror. My head is pounding and when I turn to look at the shower I get dizzy. My vision is blurry for a moment but I shake it off. 'Shower, shower,' I think. I get into the shower and start running the water just a moment before I realize that I still have my clothes from yesterday on. But I don't care; they had to be washed anyway.

I undress myself in the shower and I get out about ten minutes later. I dry myself off and get dressed. It's only a matter of minutes before I'm back in the living room. I pick my back up and while I sit down I silently pray that it still works.

I can hear myself sigh in relief when it boots up again just fine. I am ready to type, my hands at the keyboard but I can't think of anything. Complete silence in my mind, not a single thought. I frown and start tapping my fingers against the side of my laptop, waiting for inspiration. Are there any other ways to get more information?

I have a feeling that there's such an obvious answer to that question, but nothing comes up. I put my laptop on the coffee table and sit back on the couch. I catch myself biting my fingernails; I took over Prentiss' habit after she died. It's completely ruined my nails, but I don't really think about that. When I look at my nails I see Prentiss.

I can hear her soft voice reassuring me that everything is going to be okay. I just have to relax and then I'll be able to figure it all out.

'Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.' For a few minutes that's all I tell myself to do. And then the restlessness comes back. I put my laptop down beside me and walk over to the fridge. As I open the door I can hear my stomach growling. I pick up two rolls and some egg salad. I eat while pacing back and forth.

I notice I feel nervous - for I don't know what - when out of the blue the doorbell rings. It's a happy little tune that used to cheer me up, now I don't even pay attention to it anymore. I rush over to the door, hoping to see the team on the other side but expecting Maggie. I'm surprised when I see Erin Strauss on the other side.

Her hands are folded in front of her and she has a sympathetic look on her face that almost says: ''you poor, baby.'' This is the last thing I expected. For her to come over here, and look like she's going to be nice to me... it's a shocker.

''Strauss!'' I say without thinking about it, like I'm warning the team that she's heading our way.
''Ms. Garcia,'' she acknowledges. She looks like she's waiting for me to invite her in so I step aside. Without any words she welcomes herself in and hands me her coat. I stand there looking at her before getting into action. I hang up her coat and look at her.

''W-would you like something to drink?'' I manage to get out; just looking at her makes me nervous. Even though I don't work for the FBI anymore- and haven't officially for a few months - I still feel like I did something wrong and I'm going to get punished right now.
''Penelope,'' she begins. Wait, she calls me by my first name? ''Come sit down.''

I sit down next to her on the couch, my couch. It takes a moment for me to realize that she actually has the nerve to tell me what to do in my own home!
''What are you doing here?'' I ask her, sitting up straight. I can feel knots in my stomach but I won't let it show.

''The tech team informed me this morning that someone, to be mentioned later, hacked into our system last night and reviewed footage from the day a certain plane crashed. I have a feeling that you know who that person is,'' she says with raised eyebrows.

I don't say a thing.
''What were you thinking?'' She asks me and I can feel myself break down. She's all I have left, except from the bittersweet memories, of my time at the FBI and I want to open to her.
''I need to know what happened to them,'' I blurt out.

''You know they're gone,'' she begins but I won't let her continue.
''That's the thing! I don't know that they're gone! My mind is telling me that they are, but my heart screams, every single day, that they're not. I can feel that they're somewhere out there!'' I tell her. ''And last night I found evidence that proves they might have survived the crash.''

We're both silent for a minute or so. ''You have evidence?'' She then asks me and I nod.
I'm half expecting her to start telling me - try to convince me - that it can't be true. But nothing...
''I just need access to more files to be able to piece together what happened so I can find them,'' I say with tears in my eyes, explaining my train of thoughts.

''What do you need?'' She asks me. I look at her confused, why would she want to know that? She is the one who wants me to stop breaking into their system. ''If you tell me what you need I'll help you. I'll get the files for you.''


Every new day is another chance to change your life.


Please, please, pretty please review! It would really help me to get some feedback.