A/N: I am so happy people are liking this story, I was so nervous to write it because all I have as reference is the Disney cartoon, Tim Burton's movie and a few tv series that kind of took a naturalist/post-modern spin to it. So I am glad people aren't flaming me for my ignorance.

WARNING: Alice does use the restroom in this and it includes digging a hole. So if you want to skip it go ahead. It's not an important scene.

Chapter 4

Confession

Alice woke up warm and toasty, she slowly opened her eyes and breathed deep stretching as she did so. She lay her head back down only to realize she wasn't lying on a pillow. She looked up to see her head was snuggled into The Knave's chest and the man was lying with his arms and hands resting on the back of her head and her lower back.

Quickly the girl shoved away and fell off the bed; apparently sometime in the night they had changed positions. She didn't want to even imagine how she managed to get over his hulking body. She lay on the cold floor trying to decide if she wanted to try and get back on the bed by herself or if she wanted to wake the Knave.

She eventually tired of collecting dust on her face and sat up, she sneezed and realized she had to go to the bathroom. Where in God's name was the bathroom?

She saw stairs on the far side of the room sighed, no possible way; she would exhaust herself before she ever got to the top. She looked to the door; maybe if she went outside on the far side of the house, no one else was out here right?

She started to push herself to the door; she was about to push it open when she noticed that the door was locked.

"Oh for Pete's sake!" Alice said in a frustrated but hushed voice. She looked around again and then noticed the broken broom handle on the floor. She grabbed it and used it to push the lock up and the door swung open with a bang. She looked at the Knave who didn't move or make a noise.

Alice breathed a sigh of relief and pushed herself into the morning light that was filtering into the dim room. Upon reaching the outside she was to frustrated at this point to go slow, she allowed herself to topple down the three steps that led to the front door and once on the dusty ground she rested a moment.

When Alice felt her strength returning to her she sat up dusted off what she could and started to drag her body around the side of the house. She scooted backwards dragging her legs behind her.

It took some time and a lot of her energy but she made it to the side of the large brick house and pushed herself next to a large wooden crate that had a lock on it. This would work for now.

Alice dug a hole in the dirt and then positioned herself over it. She pulled the black tunic up and then she peed quickly in hopes that she could get back before the Knave woke up. When she was done she moved herself aside, pushed the dirt and sand into the hole and started her long journey back once she pulled the tunic down around her.

She was just two feet passed the large wooden box when she heard a low growl and slowly she looked up. A large beast stood on top of the wooden box sniffing at it. The beast was about as big as one of the large wild cats that were in the London Zoo and it looked twice as threatening. Large claws, teeth and drool with red eyes and a large angry looking mouth.

"How long have you been there?" Alice asked staring at the beast, which stared at her and licked it's lips.

"I see… well I just had to use the restroom so I will just go inside and leave you to your sniffing." Alice started to slink back towards the front door but the beast did not go back to it's sniffing. Instead it jumped from it's perch on the box and slowly started to walk towards her.

"Oh dear…. Oh dear…. Uh… KNAVE? KNAVE! ILOSOVIC!" Alice screamed as the beast jumped at her.

Alice fell back into the dust and covered her head with her arms leaving her torso exposed. She was waiting for the teeth and the claws and the pain but it never came. She sat up and looked in shock, her jaw dropped.

"KNAVE!" Alice yelled with joy as the man wrestled the beast. Alice watched as the large man kicked the beast and it went tumbling into the sand. It shot up and jumped at him, the Knave jumped and managed to get on the beast's back.

Alice watched as he took hold of the Beast's head as the creature jumped around and growled in anger and aggression. Finally Alice had to cover her eyes as The Knave quickly snapped the beast's neck. The animal fell down dead and Alice peeked through her hands and felt the tears fill her eyes.

The beast had just been hungry and while Alice didn't appreciate the fact that it tried to eat her she wished he hadn't killed it. She would cry for the beast tonight and hope it ended up in a happy place.

Alice was pulled from her thoughts as the large knave staggered away from the beast and towards her, he grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her up, "What the hell are you doing out here! Why didn't you run! Were you trying to kill yourself? Where you trying to kill me!" The Knave screamed at her.

Alice stared in utter lose for words, "I didn't mean to… I just had to use the restroom I didn't know the beast was…"

"Why didn't you run! You stupid girl!" The Knave tossed her down on the ground and started to walk away, "Wait! Please!" Alice said.

The Knave didn't turn fully around, his head turned to the side slightly and all she could see was his eye patch.

"I can't… I mean… I couldn't run away." Alice said.

"What, the brave champion can slay the Jabberwocky but can't face a Tion Cub? That beast wasn't even fully grown!"

"No… I mean it isn't that… I just can't…"

"Why didn't you run!" The Knave yelled at her turning around to face her.

"I can't walk!" Alice finally screamed, she couldn't help herself she started to sob, "I can't bloody walk. My legs have been dead for the past year." Alice threw herself down on the ground and sobbed even harder. She hadn't wanted to tell him, she had wanted to pretend that she was fine and that she was only sick. She didn't want him to know how weak and pathetic she had become.

Alice felt two large hands come and pushed underneath her, she was lifted from the dusty ground and she looked up at the Knave who stared at her with a stone cold face, "I had to go to the bathroom, I didn't want to wake you. I went outside because I knew I wouldn't make it up the stairs. I went to the side of the house and that is when that thing attacked me." Alice said wiping the tears away and trying her best to glare at him.

The Knave didn't say anything for a long moment and then glanced at the beast and then back at Alice, "Did you use the restroom?" he asked.

Alice blushed horribly but nodded, he turned then and walked back towards the house, "What will you do with the body of that poor creature?" Alice asked looking around him back at the lifeless body of the creature.

"I will skin him, we could use some more meat and another fur would be nice to have since winter isn't far off. I can make some more weapons from the bones and use the teeth and claws as weapons. It wasn't a wasted kill but I don't plan to kill another anytime soon. It's hard enough to kill a cub let alone an adult."

Once they were inside he set Alice down on the bed and sat in the chair, suddenly Alice noticed his arm, "Oh no!" she said taking his arm and looking at the three deep cuts on his fore arm. "I am so sorry Knave." She reached towards ripped a long piece of black cloth from the tunic. She grabbed the gourd and popped the cork, "Water yes?" The Knave stared at her and nodded.

She poured some water onto the cloth and started to clean his wound, "Thank you for saving me Knave…I know I've done nothing but been a burden. It seems I am a burden no matter where I am at."

He stared at her a moment and then asked, "Tell me champion, what happened?"

Alice glanced up from the wound and met his eye, she sighed and went back to cleaning it. "The last time I left Underland, after I defeated your Red Queen… I was sent over seas as an apprentice to help expand my father's trade business. I was gone for two years and despite me being a woman I was able to accomplish much. Upon my return I was walking back to my mother's home with a friend of mine, William Ulrich."

Alice stopped a moment and poured some fresh water onto the cloth and then went back to work, "He crossed the street to have a word with a friend of his he hadn't seen since he left for China four years prior." Alice felt her breath hitch in her throat but she managed to continue despite the tears that threatened to fall.

"While I was following I saw something that distracted me…I went looking after it only to discover it was nothing important. But by that time I was too distracted to noticed the carriage and horses rushing down the street. Apparently the mail was running terribly late and he didn't see me till he was almost upon me. He yanked the horses to get them to stop and they lost there footing and tumbled, which caused the carriage to swing out and shatter. The driver was pulled under; I turned to run but wasn't fast enough, the carriage landed on my back and broke both my legs. The doctor's told my mother that once my legs mended I'd be able to walk again… but when I tried I couldn't. My legs are completely dead." Alice said feeling a tear roll down her face.

"I keep trying though, one day they will hold me up… one day I will make them work and I won't be a burden to anyone." Alice said looking up at his face with determination. She tore another piece of cloth from the tunic and wrapped his freshly cleaned wounds.

"Now we match." She said showing him the three scars on her upper arm. The Knave didn't say anything, he just stared between her and his arm. Alice sat there staring at her legs, "One day they will listen to me." She repeated more so to herself then to the Knave.

The large man stood and walked over to the large candle in the fireplace, he took to pieces of flint and lit the candle, "What ever happened to this William fellow? Does he still keep you company?" The Knave asked.

Alice felt her eyes fill with tears again, "No… once he found out I couldn't walk he took his proposal back saying that he couldn't handle what I had become. I was too much of a inconvenience. He promised to continue the work I started but he knew I couldn't travel the world with him any more so he left taking his ring with him."

"You were engaged?" The Knave asked looking over his shoulder at her as he moved the soup pot back over the flame.

"I don't know… if the man takes the ring back I am not sure someone could really be engaged to begin with… I think he was just playing a mean and cruel trick." Alice said with a soft voice.

The Knave kept his eye trained on her down cast face and sighed, "Well, the only thing to do now then is finish getting rid of this sickness that has made you weak and help your legs remember how to walk."

"What?" Alice asked looking up at him.

"If the doctor said you should be able to walk then you should be able to walk… doctors often know what they are talking about. My best guess is that when your legs were so viciously set upon by the carriage they fell victim to what we in Underland like to call sarsictoogan."

"What is that?"

"Your legs have simply forgotten how to walk… all you have to do is help them remember. I had the same experience once."

Alice stared at him with wide eyes, "What do you mean?"

The Knave crossed to her and sat in the chair next to the bed, "When I was a boy I was climbing a tree in my father's orchard. The tree was old and very tall, I fell from the top, my back and legs were battered from the large thick branches and when I landed my legs smashed painfully on a large piece of rock. I couldn't walk for a long time because my legs needed to heal. A year after my entire lower half was shattered I was told I should be okay to walk. When I stood for the first time I crumpled to the floor. It had been so long since my legs and walked they had forgotten. All you have to do is be persistent and perform the right exercises and your legs should work in no time."

Alice stared at him and looked down at her legs, "But I have no feeling… I have no movement, I've tried for months to get my legs to work."

"Takes longer then that, talking to them helps, massaging is another thing, not to mention singing to them."

"Singing to my legs?" Alice questioned, "What a silly idea."

"You think it is silly my little flower but once your legs start to dance you won't think it is silly."

Alice stared at him and then narrowed her eyes, "Knave, I have been through a lot in the past year, I have never been so unhappy in my whole entire life. If you are lying to me to get my hopes up and then dash them across the rocks I beg you to tell me now because I may not be able to go on if I found out months from now that you are lying to me."

The Knave stared at her a moment and he sighed, "Perhaps an example." He stood and placed his hands under her arms lifting her up so that her legs dangled in the air. "Focus on NOTHING but your legs, their bones, their muscle, their skin, the hairs on them if any and do not focus on anything else. Alice looked down at her legs and stared, she tried her hardest to focus on nothing else, she thought it strange to pay to much attention to them but what other choice did she have. She focused so hard she thought for a moment she may see through them.

Her thoughts were distracted when the Knave of Hearts started to hum a haunting tune. She looked up at him and his eye looked at her in return, "Not me you stupid girl your legs, focus on them not me."

Alice eyed him a moment longer and then focused on her legs, the Knave started to hum again but she tried to ignore it, she focused on her legs and she didn't feel him set her down. She looked at her toenails and her toes and her foot, her anklebone that stood out and left a bump on her foot. She saw her tendons flex and suddenly her toe moved. It was barely visible but it did move her big toe bounced once.

"It moved!" Alice screamed, she looked up at the Knave and her smile turned into a puzzled frown when she realized he wasn't holding her anymore. She looked at her legs, which, despite the fact they were crooked were holding her on their own. In that instant of recognition she crumpled again but sat up instantly and stared at her legs.

The Knave stopped humming and she looked up at him, "I DID IT!" She shrieked, "You were right it worked!" The Knave smirked in a know-it-all way but Alice didn't care, she had just stood on her own and her toe had moved. She instantly focused back on her feet, "Hum for me again Ilosovic! Quickly! I have to see it move again."

"Sorry champion, you have to get over your sickness before we can work on your legs. Remember first we walk then we run." He lifted her once again from the floor and set her in the bed, the Knave crossed to the soup to check and see if it was warmed up all the way.

The Knave turned when he heard Alice humming; she was rubbing her legs up and down and massaging the muscles. He closed his eye a moment and listened to her soft hum, she had a beautiful voice. He poured two bowls of hot soup and moved back to her, "Allow them rest. They accomplished a big feet today."

Alice giggled, "Why Knave I didn't know you had a sense of humor."

"I made a joke?" he asked staring at her strangely. He handed her the bowl and she started to slurp down the soup, "This soup has worked wonders in only a matter of hours." Alice said.

"My mother was a remedy woman. She knew how to heal even the most serious of illnesses."

"Your mother sounded like a great woman." Alice said eating a chunk of meat from the bottom of the bowl.

"She was." The Knave said.

"If you don't mind me asking how did she die?" Alice asked studying his face.

The Knave's face was blank, no emotion, he looked up at her and then down at the floor, "She drowned..." he said.

"She couldn't swim?" Alice asked.

"It's hard to breath when your head is being held under the water." The Knave said.

Alice's spoon was frozen mid way between her mouth and the bowl, "She was murdered?"

"Yes… by my father."

Alice had lost her appetite, she set the remaining soup and bowl aside and set the spoon down next to it. "I am so sorry." She said.

"Do not apologize… it has long since been over. It is in the past and that is where I keep it. Besides I avenged her."

Alice stared a moment and then watched as he stood and grabbed both the bowls, "You avenged her?"

"Yes… I killed my father. He can't ever hurt her again, not her spirit, or her memory, or her children."

"Why… why did he kill her?" Alice asked.

The Knave turned to her and cleared his throat, "Do you want some more soup?"

"No… I lost my appetite." She said softly wondering what the Knave must have really gone through as a child.

Perhaps that is why he is so dark, so threatening, he went through a lot. The silence between them was deafening for a long moment before the Knave set the bowls aside and leaned on the table, "He killed her because he allowed his madness to get the best of him. He had a short temper, and he drank much. He allowed paranoia and jealousy to control his madness and one night he caught her outside. He thought she was trying to leave him, he drug her to the river and drowned her. I saw him do it from my window, but by the time I got there he was gone and she was laying on the bank as cold as the grave."

"That is horrible."

"That is life in Underland… there has always been this ridiculous and uncontrollable madness that no one seems to want to contain. I've fought my madness for years, so did your friend the Hatter…"

At the mention of the Hatter Alice looked up at the Knave as he turned on her and slowly started to walk over, "When he lost the rest of his clan his madness was finally unleashed. He trailed me for months before he finally caught up with me. He gave me this lovely little scar." The Knave said pointing at a large slice across his tight lean stomach.

"You came down here in hopes to cure your legs… you are lucky that you can get back to the upperland. If you stay you will go mad… it's a sickness no one can escape." The Knave said now standing in front of her; her head was craned to look up at him.

The Knave felt a sweat break out on his brow and his hand slowly rose to her face and cupped Alice's chin. So much talk of the madness must have awoken his own for he felt the burning desire course through his body. He felt himself clench his teeth and his arm and chest started to shake.

"Knave what is wrong?" Alice asked.

"You don't have to call me that you know." He said softly as he gently rubbed his fingers down the side of her face. "You know my name… you can call me by my name."

"Only if you start calling me Alice." She said with a sly smirk.

His thumb ran over her rose petal lips and his breath hitched in his throat, Alice's brow wrinkled and she nervously pushed his hand away. Stayne frowned and jerked his head away as if he was waking up from a trance. He turned from her and with out saying a word walked outside. Alice stared after him and sighed, she went back to working on her legs.

A/N: So that is that, I made up a bunch of background on Stayne so don't yell at me if I messed things up. I hope you enjoyed it!