Rachel, ever the actress, seems to flow effortlessly between panic, sadness, disbelief and anger before she settles finally on her usual game of blame Quinn.
Their arguing seems to have even kept the rotating nurse at bay because she hasn't just "popped in" since the last time she came by to do vitals when she found Rachel absolutely hysterical. Quinn almost wishes she would make another appearance or something, anything really to stop this seething rage between them.
She gets no such luck as Rachel moves smoothly into reason number one billion and one why this is Quinn's fault and then Quinn snaps.
"What exactly did you want me to do, Rachel?" she asks sharply, voice already hoarse from overuse. She's tired; she's absolutely exhausted with this, with the arguing and the yelling matches and the blame game. It's like she and Rachel can't even hold a conversation anymore—not even with their daughter on a hospital bed— without it simmering into something angry and spiteful.
"Well, perhaps if you were watching her more closely—"
"Watching her more closely?" Quinn's frustration hits a brand new peak; she's been doing her best to be level-headed but Rachel is purposely pushing her buttons and all of her emotions feel like they're stretching her in about a million different directions. "She's 16, Rach! She's fucking 16; the only thing that I can tell you for certain was going through her mind was how to hide just about everything she's planning from me,"
"Maybe if you had talked to her more,"
And that shatters what very little restraint she has left.
"You know what? That goes both ways, Rachel," she won't deny that since their split, there has been a fair share of pettiness from both of them; she's taken it and she's dished it out, but this is a low she hadn't even expected. This is blind stabbing below the belt and Rachel knows it. "Your show is fucking important; I get that, she gets it, the world gets it, but you could call more. You could visit more. Hell, you could have at least taken her to the show, Rach. She idolizes you and your show opened three weeks ago, three weeks and you couldn't find the time to just swing by and take her out for the weekend?"
God, Quinn almost ripped them up herself when she went into Harmony's room to find her school uniform and found, neatly cut and piled on her desk, a stack of reviews from the opening of Rachel's newest show. It's so fucking obvious how hard Harmony constantly tries to impress Rachel and it's almost sickening how easily Rachel just ignores her efforts.
"We both have our flaws, Quinn," Rachel concedes, dignified and stoic in her apology, as usual.
It's an apology nonetheless, a definite lull in the arguing, so Quinn will take it.
"Absolutely right we do,"
"And I didn't mean to make it seem like I was solely blaming you for this," And she absolutely could have fooled Quinn on that point because Quinn's almost certain that's exactly what she was trying to do. "I'm just scared, Quinn. I mean, I trust Brittany, I do, but all of this is just so unbelievable, you know?" she shakes her head softly, a much needed calm after that storm. "And all the risks you told me about, it's just—," the hurt and worry that flits across her delicate features is heartbreaking within itself. "What if we don't get her back, Quinn?"
"We will," Quinn says, hand moving to rest atop Rachel's. It's instinct really; offering comfort to Rachel. She doesn't even realize she's done it until Rachel's fingers intertwine in hers and squeeze, something that she's pretty sure is instinctual too.
Their soft breaths mingle, creating soundtrack to the backdrop of rhythmic, beeping machines, monitoring nothing but deep sleep.
Rachel sighs, breath weighty but taking no weight off of her.
She squeezes harder, clinging onto Quinn's hope.
"How are you so sure?"
"I'm not," Quinn admits. "I'm not, but she has to be ok. They all have to be ok," Quinn doesn't know what she'd do with herself if they weren't; Harmony's her life and Sugar's her only goddaughter and Brittany is her best-friend; She just can't imagine what she'd do without them.
Rachel seems to understand her unspoken meaning because she gives her hand another tight squeeze, smiling one of her soft sad smiles.
"I just don't understand what they were thinking doing something so dangerous," Rachel sighs quietly. "I mean, I understand Sugar's curiosity, but Harmony—?"
"Harmony's more than a little curious," Quinn reasons, "I mean, we haven't been quite so honest with her about our past, Rach,"
"You mean you haven't been quite so honest with her. I never wanted to lie to her in the first place, Quinn,"
That makes Quinn recoil from their intimate touch quickly.
"We agreed to wait until she was older to tell her though. That was something we explicitly agreed on," she reminds her.
"Yes, but given the nature of your relationship with Noah as of late—"
"He's staying with me, Rachel," Quinn cuts her off, that dissipating rage rising once again, because Rachel always does this; she always passive-aggressively turns these tiny things into huge deals. "He's staying with me because Beth lives nearby and he's trying to bond with her. You of all people should have some sympathy when it comes to something like that,"
"And I think it's wonderful he's reconnecting with his daughter, just as I think it's wonderful that you've reconnected with Beth, but you had a baby in high school, Quinn. That's something you've had to grow with and learn from, and it's something Harmony should know. She and Beth get along great; she deserves to know that Beth's her sister,"
"And she will know," Quinn concedes. "When the time's right,"
"And when will that right time be, Quinn? After you and Noah have reconnected?"
"I'm not sleeping with Puck," Quinn says, exasperated; she is quite frankly tired of defending her strictly platonic relationship with Puck to Rachel. "And I really don't think that's something I have to be defending to you,"
"No, you're completely right. Both you and Noah and adults; what you do is your business, however, I do think your relationship might be confusing for Harmony—"
"Harmony likes Puck! He's been teaching her how to play guitar,"
"And that's great, but I've been meaning to discuss this with you for a while now. I actually think it'd be a really good idea if Harmony moved in with me,"
"You're kidding me!"
If Rachel were still angry, if she were still hysterical, if she were still in disbelief even, then Quinn would understand this sudden decision, but she's not; she's completely calm which makes this all the more unbelievable.
"She won't leave," Quinn insists. "She's at one of the best performing arts schools in the country; you wouldn't take her away from that,"
"We're in New York; most of the performing arts high schools around here ranks as some of the best in the country. I've actually already talked to the vocal professor at the school nearest my house and he has some wonderful ideas on how to improve her vocal range,"
"And what about Sugar? I just told you there in some kind of relationship. She won't leave her,"
"She'll adjust. She can visit you on the weekends, we'll split holidays; we can work something out,"
"And if I don't agree to this?"
"Well, I was hoping we could discuss this like adults and draw up a fair resolution. I really don't want to have to take this through the legal system. It wouldn't be good for Harmony or either of our reputations,"
The last thing Quinn hears as she storms out of the room is Rachel calling after her, but she doesn't trust herself not to say something she won't regret right now so she continues walking.
She's fuming as she finds her way into an empty hospital waiting room and it takes mere moments for her anger to slowly give way to sadness until she's crying stinging tears into her hands.
Her life so suddenly feels like it's spinning off of its axis right now and usually, when she feels like this, she'd call Brittany and with Brittany's steady patience and unwavering impartiality, they'd talk it out until she's calmer.
With that option already ripped away from her, she calls the only other person she can think of who'd be glad to comfort her in a situation like this.
She calls Puck.
TBC…
So, guys, first off, this update took forever, sorry about that. RL sucks sometimes =o but thanks to everyone who has read, commented, favorite, put this story on alert, etc. so far! I think I'm gonna keep this format, moving back and forth between Sugar, Harmony and Brittany in the past which will follow canon very closely and then back to Quinn and Rachel in the future-y present. Do you guys like that format? Tell me what you think! Review please!
