A/N: Another chapter done and this one is my longest one yet. Special thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, and as always let me know what you thought of this one.
Chapter 3: Avenger
After the death of a loved one there is only sadness and memories, after the failure to achieve success there is only self loathing and isolation, and after the closing chapters of your own life there is only oblivion.
I underestimated him.
Icefrost, that ambitious old fool. It's almost scary to think that one cat can be so underhanded, so vicious, so…. evil. It'd been only two days since my last encounter with the Dark Forest cat, and even now I couldn't stop thinking about this plan of his.
Deception.
There was that word again; the very same one that had led to the untimely demise of Leafbreeze, and countless other cats. It was all about deception, wasn't it? To trick your enemy so badly that they actually believed you were really allies. To lure a piece of prey into a sense of comfort that there wasn't something in the shadows stalking, hunting, ready to kill it. Yes, this was the power deception held over others.
'We need to weaken, StarClan,' he had told me. 'We need to take away the source of their power. The one thing that has kept them sustained and in control all these moons.'
This plan of his was easier said than done, but Icefrost was supremely confident that we had the leverage needed to make it happen.
'After all,' he'd said. 'What cat doesn't want to come into a battle fully confident of victory because he knows his Clanmates are lurking nearby in the shadows?'
Before then, however, Icefrost wanted me to wait out a few days before going ahead with the scheme. StarClan was on full alert now, and he was certain they would be watching our activity with a close eye and sharp claws posed to strike.
I was patient enough to wait it out. I've spent six moons already biding my time, scheming, waiting, and lurking through the undergrowth of the Dark Forest to enact my revenge against them. A few more days of waiting wasn't going to destroy my lust for vengeance. If anything waiting only made it stronger. And when the only thing a cat lived for was the destruction of another foe they'd wait till the very end of time to strike if it was needed.
Besides that a more pressing personal matter had come to my attention.
The air was sharp and brisk. Every breathe I took was rewarded with a sharp stab of pain to my lungs. My whiskers felt frozen to face, and I could barely see my way around the forest through the icy winds littered with sleet which whipped painfully against my face. Almost overnight the forest had been doused over with a blanket of snow and sleet. The ground was buried in cold, white snow which made it extremely difficult to walk across, and the usual prey of mouse and other creatures had fled to the sanctuary of their warm burrows.
The wind wailed loudly, almost seeming to cry out in pain as it battered my body heavily, making it more and more strenuous for me to continue on my way. The tips of my ears had gone numb from constant battering by the wind, while the rest of it ached and buzzed in agitation. The path in front of me was blinded by snow, and I would have been in serious trouble of getting lost if I hadn't known this path by heart. Actually, I knew this entire territory by heart; after all, I'd spent majority of my life here.
Nothing but pure instinct was leading me on through this snowstorm. I was basically being led by nothing more then my paws which transversed over the familiar undergrowth without a single hesitant step. I needed to know if what I'd been told was true. I needed to know if they were fairing well. These were hard times during this time season. The worst time of season for anyone who belonged to a clan.
Leaf-bare.
A time in the season where sickness ran rampant, hunger was prominent, and the clans struggled to survive the icy wilderness. A time where herbs were scarce and the looming jaws of death awaited any cat unfortunate enough to catch greencough. Yes, Leaf-bare was a horrendous time for the Clans. It was during these times where they all became desperate; desperate for food, desperate for herbs, but most of all desperate for a miracle to answer their prayers.
Desperation leads many cats to make rash decisions that can most certainly backfire in the long run. However, it was that desperation, that hunger, that need, and instinct for survival was what made them strong. Was what made the clans strong.
Unfortunately, I'd gotten word that ThunderClan was in bad shape.
After trudging my way through the piles of snow I found myself just outside the clan hollow, and made my way to climb to the top. I knew from past knowledge that the top of the hollow wasn't patrolled like the rest of the Clan. If I wanted to scour around without being detected this would be my best point of perspective.
This was a personal endeavor of mines that had nothing to do with my revenge for StarClan. Even though I wasn't a part of ThunderClan anymore, I stilled cared for the wellbeing of my former Clanmates, and it was proved very evident that they were in dire need of help from the sudden blast of sickness that attacked my nostrils and fits of coughing coming from the medicine cat's den.
I found it almost strange to be watching my old Clan battling against a possible outbreak of greencough and not be apart of something to help. In many ways I was nothing more than a stranger now to these cats I had once cheerfully chatted with only moons ago. I was an outsider now. It stung just a bit to think this, but I knew it to be true. Although I'd once held connections with countless of these cats here, there was no getting around the fact that we were no longer friends.
We may not be friends anymore, but I still held loyalty to my birth Clan. Even after the scandal of my forbidden affair that saw me stripped of my deputy rank and exiled, I held no ill will for what they'd done to me. They were only following the twisted logic of StarClan's warrior code, and I couldn't damn them for their actions when they were being blinded to the truth. I did find it ironic, however, that now that they were struggling just to make it through the day that the great and almighty StarClan hadn't been quick to so much as drop them a sign of where to find more herbs for the sick.
For a camp I once knew to be bursting full of life and activity from multiple cats, the ThunderClan camp was vastly empty now. I watched as they suffered. The freshkill pile was pitifully small, and I watched as they struggled to keep it stocked. I saw warriors' I'd once known to strut around the Clan with pride and dignity now slowly trudging through the snow with dimmed eyes glazed over in defeat. They were losing hope in their own abilities to just keep their clanmates fed, and the Clan medicine cat was fairing the worse.
I looked to see the entrance to the medicine cat den shake as a mottled brown and ginger tom padded outside into the frosty air. From memory, I knew him to be the ThunderClan's newest medicine cat after the old one had past, Redwillow. He was young for his age to be a full medicine cat, probably a little older than Goldenshine, but definitely lacking the experience and talent needed to handle an outbreak like this.
I saw his flanks heaving with exhaustion, and how unsteady his steps were. He was dead on his paws and I swore that a strong enough blow from a gust of wind would knock him right over. He was running out of options to help his ill Clanmates.
I could see the worry in his eyes, the look of utter helplessness to do anything to save his Clanmates. I knew the look well, and shared the same sentiment. ThunderClan was facing a dark time indeed, and I only hoped Redwillow would be able to save the sick cats before it was too late.
Hope.
Listen to me. I didn't believe for one second that hoping would get them the help they needed. I've learned the hard way that hope only leads to pain and suffering. Hope is nothing more than a disillusion of fear and despair used to combat the horrible truth of reality. You only hoped for something when you were unable to do it yourself, when you realized you had no chance of winning. Hope was for cats who believed StarClan would always be there to make everything better; and I wasn't one of them. If you expected to survive in this harsh reality that we call life, you had to be willing to take action. Take action to attain what had initially been denied to you, and only then would you prove successful.
I watched from my position at the top of the hollow as Redwillow gave a slight shiver and looked helplessly up to the sky which was blocked from view by the blowing snowstorm. I saw his mouth move, muttering something just loud enough only for him to hear, but I caught the gist of what he was saying.
"StarClan, please give me guidance."
I shook my head in disgust at his predicament. Redwillow was young. With his age came the naivety that sitting around and waiting for StarClan to show him the way would help heal his Clanmates. Poor deluded fool. If he truly believed asking StarClan for help was going to heal the sick, he might as well feed them all deathberries now and put an end to their suffering.
It may have sounded harsh, but it was the truth. Those starry cats don't care what happens to the Clans. As long as there's just enough of them left to worship them, StarClan ignored any pleas of help from us mortal cats. I just hated the fact that Redwillow was going to have to watch several of his Clanmates die to find this out.
A scuttle of rocks turned my attention to the highledge, as the hulking lean form of a golden brown tabby tom emerged from a pair of moss curtains. It was bittersweet moment for me, as for the first time in moons I was reunited with the sight of my former mentor, and the current leader of ThunderClan, Brackenstar.
The cat who had taught me so much, mentored me when he was just the deputy of ThunderClan, and the same cat who had exiled me. I know I'd said that I held no ill will against ThunderClan, but when Brackenstar had found out my treason against the warrior code, he wasn't as forgiving as I'd thought he'd be. There was so much history between the two of us. For StarClan's sake he had modeled me to one day become his deputy when I was only just his apprentice. I would be lying if I said it hadn't hurt to be tossed away by a cat who'd once meant so much to me, but I've learned to forgive and forget. To an extent.
I was surprised however; to no longer find Brackenstar as the majestic and seemingly flawless cat I'd grown up accustomed to. His fur was dull and unkempt, his body showing signs of wear and tear making the once immortal cat I'd thought him to be seem so fail and old now. He walked with a slight stutter in his steps that I suspected was because his bones ache from sustaining his weight, and his face was scarred in several places that they hadn't been last time I'd saw him.
It was shocking to see the once invincible leader of ThunderClan reduced to such a sad sight. The only thing that showed Brackenstar still had the fiery will of a warrior cat was his brightly shinning amber eyes that seemed to radiate the fire and heat of a thousand suns casting everlasting sunlight among the forest. I watched as he began to make his slow winding decent down the highledge only to be stopped by a nearby Redwillow who'd noticed him.
"Brackenstar, what are you doing up! You should be resting!" Redwillow scolded the aged cat.
I found it strangely amusing to see such a young cat as Redwillow scolding the leader of ThunderClan like he was a naughty kit trying to sneak out of the nursery. The scene momentarily made me forget my current troubles and happily reminisce of my old days as a warrior of ThunderClan back when everything was so simple. Back when I wasn't worried about the looming threat StarClan had placed upon my mate.
"I'm not a kit ,Redwillow," Brackenstar rasped out in an annoyed gruff voice. "I can take a stroll around my own camp if so please. Besides I was just coming to check up on you and see how our warriors were doing."
Redwillow dipped his head in embarrassment for taking such a tone with Brackenstar before averting his eyes in shame at the question. "I'm worthless," he said in a pained voice. "There's nothing I can do for them, but help give them a few hours away from the pain with poppy seeds." He turned to look up at Brackenstar with eyes that held resolution of a cat that'd lost faith. "They're all going to die if we don't find some catmint."
Brackenstar gave a growl of surprise at the news. "Then we must find some, and fast. Where does it grow? I'm sure I could spare some warriors to go fetch it for you."
"It's no use," Redwillow responded, dropping his head in defeat. "The frost has killed my final stock of catmint growing over by the abandoned twoleg nest. There's nothing stopping the greencough from killing every infected cat now."
"NO!" Brackenstar growled in anger. "I refuse to accept this, Redwillow. There must be some catmint out there somewhere. There must-"
Suddenly a shriek tore through the air, startling Brackenstar and Redwillow out of their conversation as hysterical small white she-cat ran out of the nursery.
"She's gone! Cherrykit is gone!"
"What!" Brackenstar shouted, romping his way through the snow towards her.
"She's gone, Brackenstar!" the she-cat wailed. "I had just lain her and her littermates down for a nap, and when I turn away from just a second to go check on their mother I come back and she's missing! Oh, what am I going to do," she moaned. "Their mother's already dealing with so much right now, how is she going to handle this?"
The commotion from the she-cat's yowling had awakened the remaining members of the clan not plagued by the sickness. They slowly exited the warriors den, ears perked, and eyes wide in curiosity.
"What's this?" a gruff voice called through the crowd of cats. "What's happened to Cherrykit?"
The cats respectfully parted to reveal a cream-colored tom who hurried towards Brackenstar and the she-cat with a sense of authority about himself. There was something familiar about the tom, but nothing that was immediately registering with my mind.
"It appears Cherrykit has vanished from the camp," Brackenstar told the tom in a steady voice.
"Cherrykit? Oh, StarClan what does that kit think she's doing?" the cream colored tom growled in frustration. "Doesn't she know there's currently a snowstorm going on? That kits liable to get herself killed!"
"Stay sound of mind, Rowanclaw. We will find her," Brackenstar said.
Rowanclaw! I couldn't believe it. The last time I'd seen him, he'd been this puny little apprentice with a knack for getting tick duty for the elders because of his cheeky tongue. Had he really matured into this full grown cat that seemed to command respect from everyone around him?
"I want you to take a search party and scour the outside of the camp," Brackenstar commanded. "Hopefully she hasn't managed to get very far in this storm, and we'll be able to track her down."
Rowanclaw dipped his head towards Brackenstar, and then immediately began ordering various cats around and ushering them into a search party. I watched in amazement as Rowanclaw flawlessly had a search party of five cats ready to go in mere seconds after being ordered. The tom had definitely come a long way from the apprentice who use to terrorize the kits with stories of how he'd sentenced them to be gobbled up by foxes the very second he became leader.
Promising Brackenstar that they'd be back as soon as possible, Rowanclaw then set off with his search party into the howling abyss of the night as the snowstorm immediately swallowed their retreating forms up. It seemed there was nothing more for me to see here, as all the cats began to disperse back to their own dens, but some nagging feeling in the back of my head stopped me dead in my tracks.
I couldn't explain the feeling, but something was drawing my attention to the fleeting sights of the search party. Why though? I was no longer a member of ThunderClan. What did the fate of one kit have to do with me? It was incredibly stupid of her to run off like that when half the clan was down with greencough, but so what?
We make our own decisions in this life, and pay the consequences for them when everything blows back up in our face. The kit had made her choice to run off into of a raging snowstorm. I had no control over what became of her fate.
I shook myself throwing off clumps of snow that had began to pile up in my fur, and began to make my descent back down the hollow. I was getting to sentimental being around my old clan. It was bringing back up feelings and memories I tended to avoid acknowledging these days, and I was starting to get agitated.
I landed with a plop into the snow, and after shaking my fur free of it I turned myself in the opposite way of the search party had went and left. Although I'd only been "visting" me even being on ThunderClan territory was considered trespassing. Anyway, I didn't much fancy having my reunion with old clanmates spoiled by them running me out of their territory.
I pinned my ears to head as a strong gust of wind blew over me sending a chill down my spine. I panted slightly as I pushed on forward through the blowing wind and snow while digging my claws deep into the snow trying to keep my footing. Now that I thought about it maybe coming to ThunderClan during a snowstorm hadn't been one of my brightest ideas. My body felt chilled to the bone, and I knew then that if I didn't find shelter quick I wouldn't need to worry about settling the score with StarClan.
I don't know how far I traveled through the raging storm. I lost sense of my own direction as I was repeatedly pounded heavily by the wind, flinching when a whiplash of sleet slapped me hard against the cheek. All around me my visions was blinded by nothing by white swirling masses of snow that had bleached the forest clean of its lush color. I sneezed terribly as a blast of snow shot in my nostrils and stumbled back before colliding into something warm. I tripped over it and tumbled over into the snow with big splash!
I slowly rose to paws, taking care not slip over whatever it was I had, and looked down into the snow at my feet. On first sight it appeared to be a ginger colored rock, but peering closer I blinked in surprise to find it actually being a bundle of fur. I touch it with the tip of my nose, and jumped back with a jolt at how cold it was. Whatever this poor creature had been it was dead the moment it had got caught in this storm.
I made movement to move on when my ears picked up just the slightest of sounds that I would have otherwise missed. I turned back to the cold bundle of fur and took a closer look placing my ear by its body. Listening closing I picked up the faint sound of a small beating. I didn't believe it the creature was actually alive. Deciding to take a closer look at it I flipped it over and paused in surprise as my heart skipped a beat.
This couldn't be happening to me?
Laying before in the icy cold snow was the small ginger colored body of a small kit.
"Cherrykit." I called out loud, my voice being snatched and carried away by the wind.
How had she managed to get so far from ThunderClan? I had found her completely by accident so I knew there was no hope of anyone else doing else. Oh no. I had just remembered that Rowanclaw's search party had gone the exact opposite direction of where I was headed. They had no chance of ever finding this kit, which meant she had no chance of surviving herself.
Unless.
I was painfully reminded of how I'd found myself in a similar situation like this. For a moment I was caught up in my own grief at the tragic death of my dead mate when a raspy cough from below startled me out of my thoughts. What was I doing? This kit was here dying in the snow and I was just standing here helpless like a kit myself. No cat deserved to have their life striped away unfairly from them. It wasn't her time yet; I wouldn't let it. I wasn't like them. I didn't just sit back and watch clan cats suffer. I was going to do something, I was going to help, I was going to action!
I bent down and clasped my jaws around the scruff of Cherrykit's neck and hauled her into the air. I had to find some way to keep her warm. With new resolve I launch myself headfirst back into the storm and trudge on, determination pulsing through my body.
I wasn't like them. I had to keep telling myself that or otherwise I'd give way to the sudden numbness beginning to creep up through my paws. If I had the power to do it I would save any cat in need. I wasn't so far gone and detach from real life that I didn't know what it was like to feel pain or pity for another creature. I may be a lot of things, but I wasn't a heartless coward. I may have grown cold to the world before me, but I hadn't forgotten what it means to be alive.
That is what separated StarClan from the clans. They'd been dead so long that they no longer remembered what it meant or felt to hunt, struggle, and fight everyday to keep your clan safe. They'd lost their sense of morality. They were emotionally dead to the living world below them under the sky, and we suffered the price for this ignorance.
No more. No more, I say! It was time for a change. Time for the dawn of a new generation; a new age of cats who better understood their role as protectors of the clans. And I would bring about that change. I had the motivation strong enough to do it.
I came to a stop outside a hollow log positioned against a sloping hill. I had found my shelter. I entered the log and placed the kit down in front of me, and began licking her fur. My knowledge was dramatically lacking on how to bring warmth back into a kit's body. I'd spent half of my time as ThunderClan deputy sneaking out to visit a medicine cat, and was embarrassed to admit that I didn't know a single thing about taking care of another cat.
I flipped the kit over and began rasping my tongue over her chest hoping it would gain a response, but Cherrykit stayed deathly quiet. I placed my ear against her chest to make sure she was still breathing and found that the beats of her heart had become fainter.
This wasn't working. I almost slammed my claws against the interior of the log in rage. I lacked the knowledge to keep to Cherrykit alive. But I refused to let her die. No, not again; never again. If I only had some herbs or some better understanding on how to help her. It was as I was berating myself however, that the answer came to me. I didn't have the knowhow on how to save Cherrykit, but I knew a medicine cat that did.
(Scene Break)
"I can't believe you just left the kit alone in the log!" Goldenshine shriek at me, as we hurried together through the storm.
I couldn't say a word to defend myself seeing as I was currently carrying herbs in my mouth, but I couldn't afford to waste a second with Cherrykit in dire needs anyway. It's pointless to recount my journey through the storm in search of the ShadowClan camp. The only thing I sanely remember is snow, and more snow. Somehow I'd stumbled my way onto ShadowClan's territory, and when I realized I needed Goldenshine's help to save Cherrykit I let instinct take over and lead me to the camp.
Goldenshine was a brilliant medicine for his age; probably the best out of all the four clans. I supposed it only helped that he'd had two mentors helping him on his way up, but that of course was another story for another time.
We arrived at the log and I ushered Goldenshine in with the upmost haste, depositing the herbs he'd had me grab at his paws. Goldenshine crouched over Cherrykit, checking the kit's body temperature before beginning to lick her fur in the opposite direction. Once again I found myself watching in amazement as Goldenshine transformed for a small cowardly cat into a full blown medicine cat. With what seemed like second nature he picked up one of the herbs in his jaws and began to chew it before opening Cherrykit's jaws and stuffing it inside the kit's mouth.
He worked her jaws with his paw while rubbing her chest with the other one forcing her to swallow. He picked up a second herb and repeated the process forcing the kit once again to swallow whatever it was he was stuffing down her throat. I watched in silence noticing the utter lack of expression presence once again on his face. He seemed deaf to the very world around him, immersed in nothing but his task.
I'd originally thought that he had only gone into this trance because he was defiling the body of his own mentor, but I realized now that this was how Goldenshine handled every situation presented to him. It was as I watched Goldenshine worked that my gaze wandered to a long scar trailing down the side of his left foreleg. The wound was fresh, and I knew from my own personal scars that that wound had been caused by a cat's claw.
"Are your patients proving to be violent towards you, Goldenshine?"
The golden tom suddenly blinked in surprised at looked at me almost as if he had forgotten I was there.
"What?"
I motioned towards the cut on his foreleg and gave him a questioning glare. "Would you mind explaining that?"
He seemed embarrassed to find that I had noticed and averted his gaze back down to Cherrykit, continuing to rub her chest.
"It's nothing," he muttered softly. "Just lessons learned from my mistakes."
I felt a snarl rumbling in the depth of my throat. "It was her, wasn't it?" It wasn't a question because I already knew the answer.
"Of course it was her," he said. "But it's by my own doing anyway. I have to learn, Cloudstorm. I have to learn so I can become better. Besides," he said looking back up to meet my gaze. "Without her help you can't get what you want."
I snorted loudly. "Trust me it's not by choice that I'm working with her. Icefrost values her opinion and because of it I'm stuck doing whatever she tells him."
"I know," Goldenshine replied. "She told me what happened with you and the StarClan cats."
I flared my nostrils in irritation. "So, she's been spying on me then?"
"Of course not," Goldenshine said. "Icefrost told her. You know that he tells her everything. She's the one that's been helping him plan his schemes."
"Well then," I said. "If she told you that, then you must know about what she and Icefrost are planning to do to ShadowClan?"
Goldenshine didn't speak for several minutes, only continuing to rub Cherrykit's chest and feed her herbs.
"It's for the best," he spoke in a voice so low that I barely caught it. "Everything will be better after this. She promised."
I resisted the urge to snort. Goldenshine knew better than me that anything that she-cat said was either a lie or ominous threat.
Her.
Her. That cat…..hmmm what could I say about her? Possibly the vilest feline to come out of the clans and reside in the Dark Forest. As far as I was concerned the Dark Forest was specifically created to keep her trapped. I've never been one to pass first judgment upon a cat after meeting them, but if there was one cat that belongs in the Place of No Stars it was her.
Suddenly a small coughing began to echo and reverberate off the hollow walls of the log as Cherrykit opened her mouth to a large gulp of air. Goldenshine took a step away and I rushed forward and stood over her, as she cracked her eyes open and gave a surprised squeak at seeing me hovering over her.
"Who-who are you?" her voice squeaked out like a tiny mouse.
"I'm Cloudst-" I began to say before catching a glance from Goldenshine. "Cloud. I'm Cloud."
"Okay, Cloudy," she replied.
"Wait- no I said Cloud, not Cloudy," I told her much to the amusement of Goldenshine.
However I had already lost the young kit's attention as she glanced around the hollow interior of the log in curiosity. "Can you tell me where I am, Cloudy?"
I frowned at being called Cloudy again and sent a glare towards Goldenshine to keep quiet as he grinned. "You're inside of a log located in ShadowClan territory. Would you mind telling me what do you think you were doing in the middle of a snowstorm?"
"I was trying to find catmint," she said making me blink in surprise. "My clan is sick and only catmint will make them better. I heard Redwillow telling Brackenstar that, and since he said he couldn't find any I thought I would."
My first instinct was to scold the kit. Of all the idiotic things to attempt; she could have gotten herself killed and just made matters worse for her clan. Only a kit would think they were capable of solving a major clan problem all by themselves. I took a deep breathe trying to calm my nerves and addressed the kit in a calm tone.
"Don't you think you should have left that to the warriors to take care of? I mean wont your parents be worried that you've gone missing?"
"They wouldn't notice," the kit mewed sadly. "My dad Rowanclaw is too busy being the clan deputy, and my mom Appleblossom is sick like the other cats. That's why I was trying to find catmint the most. So she'd get better and come back to nursery and be with me and my littermates again."
For a moment I was at a lost for words. "Appleblossom's sick?"
"Yeah, do you know my mother?" the kit asked with curious eyes.
Did I know Appleblossom? That was an understatement. And Cherrykit had said Rowanclaw was her father? So then that meant…...just my luck I guess. I'd never figured Brackenstar would appoint such a snot nose mousebrain as deputy. Better yet I'd never suspect my sister to go for such a mousebrain.
My sister was sick with greencough? I knew that some cats had come down with it, but I never suspected that Appleblossom had. Appleblossom was too, I don't know, innocent to be infected by something like greencough. She was one the sweetest cats I'd known, and the only cat to tell me goodbye when I'd been exiled. If she died now then that meant she'd go to StarClan, right? No, I refused to let it happen. Appleblossom was too pure to be among those accursed cats. They didn't deserve to have her added to their ranks, I refused!
"What if I could get you the catmint, Cherrykit?" I asked. "Would you take it and give it to your clan?"
"You know where to find catmint?" the kit squealed in excitement hopping around. "Appleblossom will get better? Can you take me to it, Cloudy?"
"No, I need you to stay here where it's warm," I told her. "I'll go get the catmint and come right back here so we can take it back to your clan, okay?"
"Okay," Cherrykit squeaked happily running forward and rubbing her head against my fur. "Thanks, Cloudy. You're the nicest cat I've ever met."
I stepped over the kit and headed for the exit where I saw Goldenshine disappear out of moments earlier. "I'll be right back," I told her. "Stay here."
After I stepped back out in the blowing storm I walked over to Goldenshine who was a couple of tail-lengths away waiting for me.
"Please tell me that you have catmint?"
"Sorry," he said shaking his head. "I used up the last of my supply battling an outbreak of whitecough."
"What now then!" I growled in frustration. "Tell me something useful Goldenshine you're the medicine cat around here! Without catmint that kit's mother is going to die! Without it half of ThunderClan may well die. Aren't you tiered of StarClan watching the clans suffer? Aren't you tiered of them doing nothing while we die?"
"You don't think I want to help?" Goldenshine suddenly exploded. "I lost my own mother to a disease that StarClan failed to warn us about. I lost her and countless other cats, Cloudstorm. My job is to heal cats. It's all I've ever wanted to do. To save every cat from death; that's all I've ever wanted to do. It's the reason I allowed myself to be mentored by her. She knows things, Cloudstorm; knows how to do things with herbs that you wouldn't believe. If I can just learn those things then I'll be able to save any cat from any illness. Maybe even death itself."
"We don't have time for that," I growled. "I refuse to let StarClan take any ThunderClan cats this leaf-bare, Goldenshine. Do you hear me? And if you're not going to help-"
"There's catmint in an arching crest of a slope in WindClan," Goldenshine suddenly blurted out.
I looked at him in surprise. "How do you know that?"
"She told me," he said softly. "Just now; says it's a gift to you."
"Me?" I asked baffled. "Why?"
"She didn't say," Goldenshine responded. "She just told me to tell you where it was and that if you wanted it, it was yours for the taking."
I didn't like the sound of that. She never did anything for anyone unless she had something to gain from it. I didn't know what angle she thought she playing, but I've proved time and time again that I am no cat's pawn. Whatever she was planning I'd get to the bottom of it. Unlike seemingly everyone else in the Dark Forest and Goldenshine included, I wasn't afraid of her. The pain and rage that coursed through my body daily made me fearful of no cat, whether dead or alive.
"This had better not be a trick," I growled threateningly towards Goldenshine. "Because if it is you're going to find yourself short of another mentor, Goldenshine."
"I'm sure she knows not to play games with you, Cloudstorm," Goldenshine replied. "Anyway I need to get back to ShadowClan. I was watching over several cats when you dragged me out here."
Goldenshine dipped his towards me, and then turned to leave when I called out to him.
"Goldenshine?"
"Yeah," he said turning around.
"I-I just-…thanks. Your help was appreciated."
He dipped his head in acknowledgement and then disappeared into the swirling storm. With that done I turned my attention to the task ahead. WindClan, huh? That didn't bode well for me considering I was in ShadowClan. I'd have to travel through ThunderClan first just to get there, and I wasn't sure how I would manage against that storm. However, I had someone depending on me to succeed. All her hopes rested on my shoulder, and I would never again let another cat down like I let her down.
Cold.
Cold. So much cold. The journey to WindClan did something to me. Cloudstorm left ShadowClan headed for WindClan, and an entirely different cat came back. One cat cold to the reality around him, mentally and physically, but hardened. Hardened to the very bottom of my core, and ready to take anything StarClan was willingly to throw at me. I'd left a part of my soul in that storm. Every. Single. Last. Paw. Step. A piece of my soul went with it.
When I arrived back to the hollow log my body was stiff from cold, and I couldn't feel a thing coming from my paws. Cherrykit yowled in excitement upon seeing me back with the catmint, and I motioned for her to follow me so I could take her back home. The storm had lifted a while ago, but it no longer mattered. The cold no longer bothered me. I had become dead to its icy touch.
Our trek back to ThunderClan was a slow one; mostly because Cherrykit stopped to play in the snow every five steps. We arrived near the ThunderClan camp sometime before dawn, just as the golden horizon of the sun began to peek through the misty fog of the morning. With the sun came a new day for the world, ThunderClan, but most importantly me.
As we came within several tail-lengths of the hollow I stopped and placed the catmint down at Cherrykit's paws.
"There you go. Go straight into camp and take these directly to Redwillow."
"You're not coming?" she asked me with a mew that didn't quite hide the sadness in her voice.
"No," I told her softly. "I've got other things that need to be taken care of."
"Won't you come visit?" she asked, a twinge of hope laced in it. "I become an apprentice in just one more moon. You could come watch my ceremony."
I was tempted to tell the kit that she'd probably never see me again, but the look of innocent hope glowing brightly in her eyes killed my initial statement.
"Why not." I told her and watched as her eyes began to sparkle in excitement.
"Thanks Cloudy you're the best. I hope I grow up to become a brave cat like you one day. You're not afraid to do anything."
Cherrykit grasped the stems of catmint in her jaws and then began to pad towards the camp. I watched the kit go with an odd warm feeling of something bringing the feeling back into my paws. "I hope I grow up to become a brave cat like you one day. You're not afraid to do anything." Maybe you will Cherrykit. Who knows?
Just before Cherrykit had made it to the thorn barrier entrance I gave a call out to her.
"Hey, Cherrykit?" she turned around to look at me. "When your mother, I mean, when Appleblossom gets better tell her-…..tell her Cloudy says hi."
Cherrykit nodded cheerfully and then disappeared into the camp. I turned away and began to head in the opposite direction of the camp. With that last farewell to Cherrykit, I'd said goodbye to my old life as a ThunderClan cat, as the brother of Appleblossom, and as Cloudstorm.
There was nothing holding me back any longer. I was ready to do what needed to be done to take down StarClan, and purify their presence from the clans. Cloudstorm had parted ways with his old life. All that remained now was me. The Avenger.
