The collision between the two bodies caused Gamzee to drop some of the vials that were loosely held in the bottom of his tattered, dirty shirt. The profanity they both shouted echoed through to dark alleyways of a waking city. Karkat turned swiftly to get a look at this person, "Hey, can't you watch where you're-!" When he cut off, his face softened and then contorted. The expression screamed all the questions Karkat couldn't ask. What is he doing out here? What is he carrying? Why does he look like he hasn't slept or eaten in days? Intense worry suddenly crashed over his mind.
"Gamzee? Gamzee, what's wrong?" Karkat asked, his voice barely reached the man standing in front of him. Karkat hesitantly extended a hand toward Gamzee, "You've gotta answer me, man. What the fuck is going on?" Karkat's voice elevated the more frantic he became and Gamzee flinched back; his eyes wide.
"Get the fuck away from me! Who the fuck do you think you are?" Looking like a deer in headlights, Gamzee took more steps away from his only salvation, "Don't mo-motherfuckin' touch me!" Gamzee's vision was a haze in front of him partnered with small stars dotting the world in front of him. Karkat blinked a few times, his breathing had quickened out of pure fear. He reached out to Gamzee once again. This time, Gamzee let his arm leave the bottom of his shirt and landed a blow to the side of Karkat's cheek. A few more glass containers holding the Morphine dropped. Some shattered, others stayed unharmed. The hit sent Karkat tumbling to the ground below him.
"You stay the hell away from me, y'hear." Gamzee growled. Before Karkat could manage to haul himself off the cement, Gamzee had taken off.
Sitting on his haunches, Karkat wiped away the drool trailing out of his mouth and spat out a mixture of blood and saliva. He could already feel his cheek puffing up. He eyed one of the unbroken glass vials on the ground as he unsteadily got back to his feet. It rolled ever so slightly before coming to an abrupt stop in the crack between panels of sidewalk. Fearing the absolute worse, Karkat watched the yellow liquid slosh around for what felt like an eternity before crouching down and actually picking it up. He drew in a deep shaky breath and turned the container to read the label. Tear filled Karkat's eyes. With his sleeve, he wiped them away.
"God fucking dammit!" he screamed as he threw the container back down. He turned on his heal and broke into a sprint along Gamzee's trail, "You're such a fucking asshole, Gamzee!" Karkat's heart was racing as was his mind. Why had he not noticed? Why couldn't Gamzee tell him anything? He could have helped! "Shit!" he cried. With every passing moment Gamzee got farther away. Karkat's lungs burned and cried out for him to stop, but he only sped up. There was no way in hell he was going to lose Gamzee to something like this.
Meanwhile, Gamzee had made it back to his apartment without dropping like a fly in route. Instead of taking the time to open the door, he simply kicked it in. The lock audibly broke and fell onto the cheaply carpeted floor. When Gamzee entered, he began to cough. His lungs were on fire from running. The vials were slowly emptied from their holding places and clinked onto the coffee table. The coughing persisted and took Gamzee to the floor. Sweat coated his face and body; his breathing became forced. He pulled his worn out shirt over his head and grabbed one of the vials off the table. A raspy, disturbed chuckled left Gamzee's lips. He looked around the room for that damned bag of needles by shuffling on his knees. They weren't there. He must have dropped them on the way to the hospital.
He stepped back onto his feet and almost fell over. The air was thick with tension. It was silent. The short, deep breaths he was taking in was the only thing that could be heard. Then something snapped. Gamzee turned to a small table covered in bongs and pies and threw it across the room.
"FUCK!" he yelled to the walls around him. He punched through the dry wall. His voice was constricted by anger; he could barely manage to scream out in pain as he rampaged through the apartment. Little did he know, there was a single syringe lying on the floor on the other side of the room the entire time. He finally stopped when his body could handle no more. Perspiration trickled down his bare chest and face; with every inhale of air he took in a little less oxygen. He dropped back down onto his hands and knees when the coughing and lightheadedness kicked back in. Gamzee blinked slowly and wiped the moisture from his forehead. Then he shut his eyes and took himself down to lie flat on his stomach. The sick feeling vertigo gave was becoming over whelming. His eyes flickered around the room. Light from the early morning sun poured through the window and over his body. That's when he finally noticed it. A single needle resting on the floor underneath the window.
"You stupid motherfucker…" Gamzee mumbled, "You were there the entire goddamn time, weren't you? S-So, how about we put you to some good use, huh?" Once again he lifted himself onto his hand and knees and crawled over, "You must be so fucking cold, brother. I can warm you up cause, y'know, skin is all hot and stuff. You'll like it, I promise." The morphine bottle was still clenched tightly in his palm as he smacked his free hand down onto the syringe. Shaking, Gamzee shove the needle into the top of the vial. He cheered the morphine on with agitated mumbles. He knew the feeling morphine gave would always be slightly different than his beloved heroin, but it would have to do for now.
"Heroin has more of the good stuff in it," Gamzee mumbled, "But I guess you're pretty chill too Ms. Morphine." Gamzee dropped the vial onto the ground when the syringe was full. 'Gamzee, stop. Gamzee it's too much.' The small voice in the back of his head was talking once again, but it was continually ignored. Gamzee searched hysterically for a vein in his arm. Nothing. None of them were capable of housing the drug. So, he took measures into his hand. Literally. He spread his fingers and shoved the end of the needle into the web between his middle and ring finger. A loud groan vibrated from scratched vocal cords. The syringe ran out of fluid eventually, as all good things must come to an end. Gamzee ripped it out of its place between his fingers and tossed it down onto the carpet. Vision further blurred and senses gone, Gamzee collapsed onto his side with a smile on his face. Euphoric visions of nothing slid across his mind. And so he laid there flat on his bony back and stared at the cream-colored ceiling. 'You over did it,' the voice in his head whispered.
"You over did it, Gamzee." Inbetween bouts of consciousness, Gamzee rolled his head to the side. And there knelt his best motherfucking friend, Karkat Vantas. Then the entire world shut off. Everything was just…gone.
Karkat's tears stared welling up again when Gamzee's eyes shut and his body went limp. He kneeled there and simply stared at the lifeless bag of bones in front of him. Karkat reached into his back pocket and pulled out his cell phone. Tearful eyes stared down at a blank screen that wouldn't light. Dead. Of course.
"How ironic…" Karkat said. The phone dropped down onto the floor. Any and all other options were hiding away from Karkat. All his mind was set on was the fact that Gamzee is most likely dead. All he could do no was sit, wait and hope that he woke up. He certainly wasn't going to get up and leave him alone again. Everything around him was silent. There were no birds chirping or music playing. It was just quiet.
Karkat slung Gamzee's arm over his shoulder and lifted him. He grunted at the sudden weight. Gamzee even let out a few small, inaudible groans as his friend dragged him into the tiny bedroom down the hallway. Karkat was significantly shorter and smaller than Gamzee, so moving him was a bit of a huge process. He pushed Gamzee down onto the bed and proceeded to do the same with his legs. Like a mother to her ill child, Karkat made sure he was comfortable before collapsing cross-legged on the floor below him. All of the frustration and anger he felt toward himself, the drug, and Gamzee himself was beginning to boil over. His chest tightened and his stomach tied itself in tight, inescapable knots. Choked sobs rumbled from his lungs and he clawed at his hair. 'Why couldn't he have said something? I would have tired my best to help and he knows that.' his thoughts scolded him over and over. It was like a broken record that could never be taken off the needle.
All day long these thoughts plagued Karkat's shattered mind. Agonizing sobbing came in small intervals that lasted anywhere from 2 minutes to 2 hours. The entire day passed and Gamzee didn't make a single move. Karkat sat still; head down and completely run dry of tears. As time passed, Karkat began to lose hope quicker and quicker. He began to think about what he would say to explain everything. He couldn't just say something like, "Oh, I watched him overdose on morphine and than sat with his corpse all day." But then it caught up with him. His best friend could be dead. Karkat watched him die and did nothing. Even if he did wake up, there was no telling what he would do. Would he even remember Karkat? Or would it be like when he ran into him on the street hours before? There were so many unanswered questions that may never be answered at all.
In the jumble of all his thoughts, something twitching in his peripheral vision. Karkat looked over the edge of the bed and waiting. Maybe it has just been his imagination. He could have sworn Gamzee moved. Karkat got to his feet and sighed; running his hands over his face. Hope was beginning to flood over his chest and get the best of him. He kept looking down at the body waiting for another sign of life. If there had been one at all. It happened. Gamzee's wrist flicked ever so slightly again. Karkat's heart leapt in his chest. He leaned over Gamzee and slightly shook him.
"Gamzee," he whispered, "Gamzee, wake up. Please. Come on, I know you can do it." In response, all Karkat got was another flick of the wrist and some movement behind thin eyelids. Gradually, the amount of moving Gamzee was doing rose alongside Karkat's anxiety. Gamzee would flop his hand over his stomach or roll his head to the opposite side of the pillow. He even began to make small noises. Karkat couldn't stop smiling. He wasn't dead. Silent "thank you's" vibrated off the walls. Karkat didn't even really know who or what he was thanking, but he knew someone needed to be thanked. Gamzee was alive and that was a miracle.
Sunset began to paint the sky vibrant colors. Karkat watched the oranges and yellows bleed into the room. It had been a long day, but he knew there would be no sleep waiting for him. There would be no salvation from this hell tonight. Not that there had been lately anyway. In fact, the only reason he'd been walking in the middle of the city so early was because he needed something to keep him occupied. Karkat ran his fingers over the bags under his eyes. They seemed to get darker and puffier with each passing night. There was too much to think about to waste time sleeping, though. Karkat was a thinker and when he thought too much, he worried. If he didn't, who would? Everyone needed someone to worry for them, so Karkat did. Besides, he needed to study most nights if he was going to make it through school. Sleep was just something Karkat didn't really need. That was his reasoning anyway.
It wasn't until the sun was completely gone from the sky that Gamzee was awake and coherent enough to hold some form of conversation. Karkat had his head leaned against the wall when he finally sat up. His thin chest was coated in cold sweat and heaved as though he had just run a marathon. Even though his head was pounding, Gamzee could still feel the light happiness that the opiate gave. He sighed and looked over at Karkat, "Woah, bro. What're you doing here?" he asked with that familiar slur in his speech. Karkat looked up from his daze. The air fell still. The two stared at each other; not leaving the other's face for a moment.
Gamzee chuckled, "I didn't know we were having a staring contest." That look. He was giving that stupid, motherfucking, high-ass look. Karkat despised it. Did he really no know? Could he really not see just how upset Karkat was? Did he honestly think this was some sort of fucking joke? Gamzee continued to ramble on about something totally irrelevant. Something about having to clean his room. Karkat was beginning to lost control. And to top it all off, his cheek had swelled to a pretty good size throughout the day. His teeth ground together and fists clenched. He stood and dragged his feet to the edge of Gamzee's bed.
"Hey, Gamzee," he muttered. The juggalo glanced up and was met with a solid bash square in the center of his face.
"That's for being such a fuck-up, you piece of shit!" Karkat's voice rattled the walls around them, "Morphine? Are you kidding me, Gamzee? I have been sitting here all goddamn day waiting for your sorry ass to wake up!" Once again, tears began to fall from Karkat's odd crimson eyes. His voice softened to a low whimper, "I thought you were dead, Gamzee. I thought you'd fucking left me here alone." Gamzee watched on as Karkat stood in front of him and wiped his eyes in a feeble attempt to stay strong. Blood was gushing from Gamzee's nose; pouring onto his exposed exposed skin.
"Why couldn't you have just told me or at least have dropped a hint before letting it get this far?" Gamzee shook his head and tilted it back to stop all the bleeding. Also to hold back the moisture forming in his own eyes. His voice was soft and cracked ever so slightly when he whispered, "I'm sorry."
"Sorry doesn't fucking cut it anymore, man. You've been apologizing for shit like this for years now and I'm done. Don't fucking bother with me anymore. You know what, don't even bother coming to me when you want help. I'm done, Gamzee. I'm done…" Karkat shook his head at Gamzee and left that shitty apartment as though he was going to gone for good. That's what he planned on. That's what he wanted. Then, he began to realize just how wrong he was for walking away. Yet, he continued down the concrete walkway.
