Sorry, I haven't been able to update in a while. Writer's block and I haven't been home in the past few days. WHY?! I'll try to update more frequently but I can't promise anything. And don't expect any updates on August 7th, either.

Disclaimer: I'm sorry I don't own Twilight or it's characters and I'm sorry if it's was not supposed to have an apostrophe and I'm sorry if I spelled apostrophe wrong.

Chapter 4

"Excuse me, may I please speak with Dr. Cullen? Thank you," I said to an assistant in the hospital. I probably frightened her with my eyes pitch black and my shaking voice, but the last thing I wanted was to listen to her thoughts to see if I was right. I just needed to get away. As far away as possible from her.

"S-sure. I'll get him n-n-now." Her voice was shaking and she was stuttering trying to get away from me. At least she wasn't in danger. She walked very quickly around a corner to get Carlisle. I had to leave and it would be better if he knew. Esme. I couldn't tell her. She would try to stop me, or say it wasn't necessary. The last thing I wanted was to stay and meet Isabella again. I was lucky. She was lucky. If that was Jasper that sat next to her, she would be much less alive. Her blood smelled so good, and the way she blushed...

"Edward." Carlisle was standing in front of me, distracting me from my thoughts. "What's wrong?"

I took an unnecessary deep breath in before saying, "I'm leaving, Carlisle. I can't control myself. I almost massacred the entire school. I can't stay here any longer. I have to go to Alaska, to Denali. Maybe Tanya can help me. I'm really sorry. Please ask Esme if she'll forgive me, and tell Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice I'm sorry." I was at the point that if I was a human I would have cried. Not sobbed, but just have a few tears escaping my eyes.

"Edward, you don't have to leave. Just stay away from school for a couple of days and you'll be fine. You can do it, I trust you."

"No, I can't. I don't want to kill people anymore and I couldn't just stay at the house while my brothers and sisters are going to school. Its not like it's the last time you'll ever see me. I just can't stay in Forks. At least not anytime soon."

"Goodbye. I'll miss you, but I'll see you soon. Say hi to Tanya from me," Carlisle said after a few seconds pause. He looked sorrowful.

"Carlisle, I have a favor to ask. Could I please trade cars with you for now? I don't want to stop, and you have a tank full of gas."

"Of course!" We traded keys and I ran out, a little too fast for a human, but I don't think anyone noticed.

I got in the car and drove, I wasn't watching the road. I turned on my radio and switched the channel. I couldn't stand that channel so I changed it. I kept changing channels when I realized, with a shock, that I didn't want to listen to music right now. I needed to distract myself, so I looked at the road. I was looking straight ahead, but I didn't see anything. All I saw was a pair of red eyes.

I pressed down harder on the gas pedal, speeding up even more than I already was. I was at 120 MPH, when I realized I was in Canada. I didn't even realize I had crossed the border. I just needed to take my mind off things. I pictured Carlisle's grief-strikken face in the hospital, Alice's confused expression, Isabella blushing...

No! I couldn't think of that. It took everything to not turn my hands that were clamped tightly on the steering wheel. I couldn't turn around. I couldn't go after Isabella, no matter how tempting her blood smelled. I couldn't go back to Forks no matter how much I missed my family. I'd see them again soon.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...

I kept counting in my head, trying to think of the numbers and nothing else. When I reached 344, 648, I realized I had stopped. I looked up and saw that I was in front of a huge house. It was gorgeous, but I couldn't think of that. I needed to talk to Tanya.

I got out of the car and my hand was a centimeter away from the door that I was just about to knock on when I jumped back. Did I want to talk to Tanya? Did I want to talk to anyone?

I decided I would just stay at her house for a while, just to think things through. I needed a place to stay.

I walked forward to the door for a second time and actually knocked on the old, wooden door this time.