Chapter 3: The Caveman Conjunctigation
'So, what was the plan again?' asked Yaoi.
Harold sighed. 'Look, it's simple. We just look around in the basement, and see what's going on down there!'
'So it's some kind of... secret spy mission? Awesome!'
'Shh... keep quiet! Let's stick together, okay?'
Harold and Yaoi started looking around the basement. Soon, they found a long corridor.
'Strange...' said Harold. 'Come to think of it, I woke up in the basement, didn't I? Well, I don't recognise any of this place.'
'Hold on, Harry.' said Yaoi. 'Do you hear that?'
'Don't call me Harry.'
'Why not? We're friends, right? Friends can call each other by their shortened na- Anyway, there's a voice coming from that door.'
Sure enough, there was.
Harold looked through the keyhole for a few seconds.
'See anything?' said Yaoi.
'Yeah. Some kind of hooded figure and some weird orb.'
'Hey, let me see!' shouted Yaoi, running up to the door. Suddenly, the door fell down.
The hooded figure stared at them for 37 seconds. Well, Harold thought the figure was staring, even though its eyes weren't visible.
'Well, hello there, Harold. I must say, your appearance has conjunctigated my plans.'
'Conjunctigated?' replied Harold. 'That's not even a real word! And who are you, anyway?'
'My name is irrelevant.'
'Hi, Irrelevant! My name's Ya-'
'Pssh. A couple of idiots like you won't be able to stop my plan, so I might as well tell you.' The hooded figure raised an arm to point at the orb.
'That... is the Orb of Improbability. It's an orb of pure energy that's powerful enough to transport objects into different realities!'
'So those weird things that happened, were they because of the orb?' asked Harold.
'Of course. And once I drain the power from the orb, I'll be able to gain ultimate power! Then, I'll rule over this entire dimension. Then, the whole universe!'
'What? That's... crazy!' said Yaoi. 'I'll have to tell Monika; some guy called Irrelevant is gonna take over the universe or whatever it was you said! Speaking of which, where is she?'
'Heh heh heh... You don't need to ask that. Nothing you say matters. The orb and me will ta-'
'The orb and I.' corrected Harold.
'What?'
'It's I. Not me. You can remember it like this. Take away the orb, and you're left with 'me will take over the dimension'. And that makes you sound like a caveman, so it's wrong.'
'Caveman?' shouted the hooded figure. 'I'll give you a caveman!'
The Orb of Improbability started to glow, and then there was a flash, but no Gordon.
A man appeared out of thin air. He was wearing a top hat, a beard, and a nasty look.
'Okay, well, that's not a caveman, but it'll do. Who are you, anyway?'
'My name is M'choakumchild. But, how did I get here? Where am I, anyway?'
'Well... All you need to know is that these two are 'students' at a certain Literature Club named after the japanese onomatopoeia for a heartbeat.'
'I didn't understand any of that. Except for that bit about students. Y'know, I'm a teacher, and I would be glad to do whatever you need me to do to these two... uh... individuals.'
The hooded figure said two simple words, loud and clear. 'Get them.'
Harold said another word, slightly less loud, but still quite clear. 'Run!'
Harold and Yaoi both ducked into a storage room. Meanwhile, M'choakumchild looked around. 'Where have those two idiots gone? Hmph. They're probably up those stairs.'
Upstairs, Satsuma was sitting in silence. 'Where are they? They should have come back by now. Unless...'
Her train of thought was interrupted by a loud slam of a door. M'choakumchild came bursting in.
'Huh? Who the heck are you? Are you a friend of those other guys? What's-his-name, uh, Howard and Yuri?'
'Well, if you mean Harold and Yaoi, then yes. My name's Satsuma. But who are you?'
'The name's M'choakumchild. And I dunno where those friends of yours are. Pfft. They're probably dead, or something. Those two idiots don't stand a chance agai-'
Satsuma started to get red with anger. 'What did you say about my friends?'
'Heh heh... Am I making you angry? What are you going to do about it? Punch me in the fa-'
Satsuma punched M'choakumchild in the face.
'Aargh! Th-that really hurt, you know!' M'choakumchild ran off into the basement, tears streaming down his face. At that moment, Harold and Yaoi came upstairs.
'You alright there, Satsuma? You look pretty angry.' said Yaoi.
'Yes... I'm fine... just need to... calm down.'
'What happened up there, anyway?'
'Punched... him in... face...'
'Well, anyway. We'll let you calm down. Hey, Harold, what's that in your pocket?'
'Oh, this? I'm not sure. It must have somehow fell into my pocket while we were in that storage room. And it's... a pair of false teeth?'
