Part IV.

Beck was telling me something, but I couldn't quite make out what he was saying. His smile was crooked and goofy and I heard myself laughing along with his story. His hand met mine in the middle of the table and his thumb ran over my skin. I could feel his grip loosen as he stood up and waved. "What? No!" I commanded. "No, you're not leaving again." He turned around and disappeared into the trees behind us. Suddenly all of the scenery changed and I was immersed in darkness. Shapes and colours started forming around me, only to streak and bleed into each other. I felt hopeless. Sitting down, I forced my eyes shut and waited for the colours to stop. Jade. I heard a voice, but I was terrified, and I refused to identify where it came from. Jade, please open your eyes. It's okay now. The voice sounded alarmingly familiar. I won't go away. I'm here, Jade. I won't leave you. I gathered my courage and trusted the voice. Vega stood over me with her hand extended. I took it and the darkness cleared.

/ Opening my eyes slowly, I immediately began to replay and dissect each part of my dream while staring up at the ceiling. "What the fuck was that?" I asked it.

My dad knocked on my door, but I made no attempt to acknowledge him. Waiting only a few seconds longer – a sign of real dedication – he sighed and shuffled down the stairs.

I checked the clock beside me and saw that it was ten in the morning, but it was a Saturday so I had no reason to rush. Creating a mental checklist of things I had to get done was the most productivity I managed in a long while; my priorities were comprised mainly of keeping myself together.

The list consisted of various tiers of catch-up work, ranked in order of due dates and how likely I was to get extensions on top of my extensions. Most of the work was really simple and wouldn't take much time to complete, but I also had that commercial project with Vega to worry about. We decided to go with an ad for Raisin Bran; Vega playing a cop and – ironically – me playing a southern belle. All we really needed to do was script our lines and film it, but a lot of that responsibility was left to me because I don't let anyone touch my camera. I pushed that all out of my mind; it would get done at some point.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzt.

After having my phone inform me that some idiot decided it was okay to text, I thought it was about time to get out of bed. I dragged myself to my closet and pulled out a ratty black hoodie that I kept around specifically for days like today.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzt.

Stomping over to my side table and begrudgingly grabbing my phone, I moved to the chair in the corner of my room that looked out on the street. Text: Tori. Unlocking the screen, I read, "Waaake up!" I typed out a reply, "Just because we're friends or whatever doesn't mean you get to scare the shit out of me with your crazed wake up calls." It took only a few seconds for a reply to pop up on my still open screen. "I can tell you're not a morning person... Good thing I brought you coffee." Bullshit. My eyebrows drew in over my nose and I peered out behind my black curtain. Sure enough, Vega was leaning against my car waving. I smirked to myself and made for the door.

/ "I wasn't sure what flavor you liked, so I went with vanilla. Hopefully that's okay?" Vega ghosted her finger along her own coffee cup looking almost childish as she peered up at me waiting for my response.

Taking a long sip of my drink – which actually happened to be my favourite kind – I nodded my head and attempted a smile. "Yeah, it's okay." I nearly finished my coffee before questioning, "Don't take this the wrong way, but why exactly are you here?"

"I – " her voice caught in her throat. Her eyes rolled to the left and I could almost see her thoughts bouncing around inside of her head. "Well, I – "

"You didn't tell me we had a guest, Jade." A chill lapped at my skin, pricking goosebumps up all along my arms. My father stood by the stairs, statuesque, making me feel tense. His eyes were set on me, boring a hole through me.

Fearing Vega might end up with frostbite, I stood up and appeased my father, "Well, now you know." I glanced at Tori, silently pleading that she not ask any questions. "We're going upstairs to work on a project."

Without waiting for a response from my father, I took Vega by the arm and blew past him up the stairs.

"We are?" I heard Tori ask as I shoved her into my room. Confusion must have been evident on my face because she followed with, "Working on our project, I mean. Because I came over here ju – "

"No." A few steps landed me at my closet and I tried to decide on a wardrobe. I settled on a red plaid skirt with leggings and a black long-sleeved shirt. "Do you mind?" I asked over my shoulder.

"Uh… no." Vega's voice trembled.

I stripped myself of my lounge clothes and put on my chosen attire, aware all the while that there was a foreign presence in the room with me. I turned around to find her prodding different CD's on my shelf. "Having fun there?" I strode over beside her and evaluated my collection. Her hand stopped its prodding and hovered over a particularly battered case.

She pulled it off the shelf and traced her finger along the cracks. "I love this CD" she breathed, still following the cracks.

"Wait. You like Björk?"

"Full of surprises, remember?" She took the CD over to my stereo and skipped to the end track. A song I knew all too well began filling up my room.

You'll be given love,
You'll be taken care of
You'll be given love,
You have to trust it

The sound was mesmerizing. Vega moved her body to the beat and I couldn't help but stare.I had no idea what it was about her, but she had me in a trance. Not just with the way she was dancing in front of me, but in everything she was. She was something like a sedative to all of the horrible things I was feeling lately, and I couldn't help myself from feeling like maybe things really weren't complete shit – at least not for the time I was around her.

All is full of love
You just ain't receiving
All is full of love
Your phone is off the hook
All is full of love
Your doors are shut
All is full of love

A feeling of guilt crept up on me. I wasn't supposed to be feeling happy, or normal, or okay. Beck's accident was only just over a month ago and this whole thing – my friendship with Vega – felt like a betrayal. Each moment I spent with her I felt a little more whole. She was piecing me back together. But it wasn't right… was it?

The track ended and the CD skipped back to the beginning. A more upbeat song started playing and Vega turned it down. She then glided over to my bed and sat, twisting her body towards me. "So, what's the plan, Fran?"

Startled, I fell back into reality and tried to think of some kind of viable response that wasn't "fuck all." Only partially lying, I replied "I was thinking of doing homework or something and watching The Scissoring until…" I waved my hand in her direction. "I'd ask if you wanted to watch it with me, but I don't feel like cleaning puke out of my carpet."

Doodleoo

Vega's ridiculous text tone sounded and she fished in her pocket for her phone. "Cat just texted me. She was wondering if I wanted to go out for frozen yogurt." Her fingers skated over her phone. "I just told her that I'm busy. And FYI: I would not puke."

"Why don't you text her back and tell her that your plans just freed up?" Her eyes faltered and she looked almost hurt. "…Because I'm coming with you?"

Again, her fingers sped over her phone and she shoved it back into her pocket. "I just didn't think you'd want to go. Robbie and Andre are supposed to be there, too."

"Well then, what's a hang out session without the cynical gank?" I grabbed my leather jacket off of the back of my door. "And Vega? You totally would."

/ "Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?" Robbie asked Andre and Cat. They shook their heads, Andre looking puzzled. "He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink!" All three of them laughed. "Oh! Hey Tori." Robbie spotted us making our way over to the bench they were sitting on in the middle of the park. "Jade," he added.

Cat practically purred when Vega and I sat down beside her. She went on to describe her favourite yogurt to me, "Ooh, what's the name?! I can't remember, but it's so good. Almost as good as bibble!" Her eyes were downcast and she looked upset. "…Now I want bibble…"

We all sat talking for a while, and things felt almost normal. The ache in my stomach seemed to have taken a momentary leave and I found myself acting a little more warmly than usual to everyone – until Rex made a piggish comment about my skirt from Robbie's backpack. I sent the puppet flying, and a horrified Robbie sprang up after him. I smoothed out my skirt and smiled to myself.

Andre hissed something into Tori's ear, but I didn't catch any of it. His eyes chanced a look in my direction. She replied with the faintest smile on her face, but I pretended I didn't see any of it; after all, everyone is entitled to their secrets. I had to admit, though: I was definitely curious to know what they were saying.

"Wait! Maybe it was cheesecake? No. I think it was red velvet!" Cat continued trying to find the right name and I continued trying to decipher what was being said not even a foot away. "Okay, I really think it was cho –"

"Let's go look." I pulled Cat to her feet and we made for the yogurt stand. I got a frozen hot chocolate yogurt, and Cat finally decided that it was indeed the red velvet ("like my hair!") yogurt that she wanted. Once we both had our food, I steered her further away from the rest of the group. "So, Cat. What were our two friends there talking about all hush hush?"

She spooned mouthful after mouthful of yogurt in, stopping only to make clear her enjoyment with "mmms." When she was done with her yogurt, she said simply, "I don't know, I didn't hear them!" She chewed on her spoon for a moment. "I think I heard your name, though." More chewing. "Something about spending lots of time together and how you're a lot of fun and not wanting to make things weird or make you sad because of..." She dropped her spoon and pouted. "Darn."

"Make what things weird, Cat?" I prompted.

"Things between you and Tori. If she told you."

"Told me what?"

"I can't tell you that!" Cat skipped away before I could ask her anything else.

I threw out my spent yogurt cup before joining the group again, sitting between Cat and Vega. Andre nudged Tori and she shot him a death glare that may even rival my own. And then she looked at me for a brief moment, smiling as she looked away.

/ "See you!" Vega waved and shut the door to my car. "Have I ever mentioned how much I love frozen yogurt?" She said, working on her second cup of the day.

"I really couldn't tell." She was used to my sarcasm and responded with laughter. I started the car and drove a bit, trying to fight off the same feeling of guilt that reared its head earlier. Tori was my friend. That was all.

I remembered the conversation from earlier then. Make what things weird, Cat? Cat's voice replayed in my head. Things between you and Tori. If she told you.

I shook my head and focussed on the road. Before long, I heard myself blurt out, "Did you still want to watch The Scissoring with me?" I could see her nodding out of my peripheral vision. Guilt kicked at me from inside of my gut, nearly forcing me to spit out a lie about homework again. But when I looked over at her – her eyes set ahead – I saw that same smile on her face from earlier that told me everything would be okay.


A/N: Hey all! I know this chapter is kind of disjointed, and I apologize. I haven't been sleeping very well lately and my brain is sputtering. I promise (for now, at least) that the next chapter will be a lot better. Be prepared for some angsty stuff coming up! Thank you for reading and reviewing!