A/N: Thank you everyone for the support, hope you like this chapter! Here we have a small insight in what's going on in Caitlin's head :)
I don't own anything ;)
Caitlin rubbed her eyes for what felt like the thousandth time in the past hour. She was currently observing a tissue sample in her microscope, but every time she would put her eyes against the eyepiece, her mind would drift away and her sight would blur. Somehow, she couldn't manage to concentration decently today. It didn't help that she had a tone of work to do and zero motivation.
Was it weird that, every time she would look at the green fluorescence from her sample, she would think of two particular green eyes?
'Yes that's totally messed up' she thought to herself, rolling her eyes.
But she couldn't help it. Caitlin had been spending so much time with Barry in the past few weeks that he was almost constantly on her mind. She was switching her microscope off, deciding to work on something else, when she felt the vibration of her phone in her lab coat pocket. She shook her head in amusement as she took her gloves off. Without even looking at her phone, she already knew who had sent her a text.
After throwing her used gloves away, she picked up her phone and read the text from Barry that was waiting for her.
'You and me. Tonight. 8 O'clock. Central Movie Theater. You don't have a say in this, I already bought the tickets ;)'
Caitlin let out a small giggle and had to put her hand on her mouth to stop the high sound to expand itself. He always seemed to lift up her mood when she was having a bad day, even without being in the same room as her.
She quickly tipped in her reply: 'I'll be there! ;)'
To be honest, she had had a say in this, they had talked about going to see the adaptation of one of her favourite books for a while now. She would just let him think he had the power this time because he had taken things in his own hands. She couldn't help the goofy smile plastered on her face right now. Things had been going really great. She sometimes felt guilty to feel this good because of a guy, she couldn't help feeling like she was cheating on Ronnie.
She perfectly knew it was ridiculous, and that it would go away with time. But the feeling was still there. And Caitlin was also afraid to dive in, head first, in something that would put her heart on the line. Though it was probably already too late for that.
"Soo Caitlin…" A teasing feminine voice behind her brought her out of her daydreaming. "Who's the hot guy you've been dating lately?"
Caitlin's smile immediately disappeared from her face. She had been tense all day long, stressed out from too much work, and Barry's text had managed to coax a small moment of joy for her. The last thing she needed was Lisa Snart getting on her nerves. Caitlin put her phone back in her pocket, took a deep breath and turned around to look at her co-worker.
"I'm not dating anyone, and it's none of your business anyway." Caitlin replied coldly.
Lisa Snart was also an engineer at S.T.A.R. labs and probably one of the persons she could bear the least. Caitlin felt like the only job she was good at, was pissing her off. She sometimes wondered if she hadn't stolen her engineer degree or something.
"Tsk tsk tsk, don't lie to me Caitlin, I saw you with that hot dark haired guy the other day." Lisa's snaky voice made the hair at the back of her neck stand up.
She was probably referring to Barry picking her up after work. It had become kind of a routine, every few days, he would pick her up and they would go somewhere together. They didn't do anything fancy, but Caitlin liked how normal it felt, not having to go back to her empty apartment right after work, just spending time with him.
"It's Dr. Snow to you, Snart." Caitlin hissed through grit teeth.
Lisa flinched slightly at the injunction. Caitlin was the person in charge in this part of the lab. And though she wasn't the kind of person to abuse of her power, it felt good to put the other woman back in her place once in a while.
"What's going on here?"
Caitlin turned around and greeted Cisco that had just entered the room. He was wearing a cheeky grin while chewing on a red vine. The young man's presence seemed to bring Lisa some self-confidence. "I was just giving Dr. Snow some dating advices." She explained, putting the emphasis on the doctor title, clearly mocking her.
Cisco's whole face lighted up. "Oh so it's finally official? You're dating the guy?"
Caitlin rolled her eyes annoyingly at her best friend. "His name is Barry, and no, we're not dating."
"But I thought he was interested!" He remarked, raising his eyebrows.
"He is." Caitlin retorted with a voice she wanted to sound as detached as possible. Let's just say she wasn't very good at pretending. "Well at least I think he is…"
"Then what are you waiting for?" Lisa snorted behind her. "It's not like you've got a lot of pretenders at your feet."
Caitlin's hands clenched near her waist and she threw Cisco a fiery look, silently asking him to take care of her. He nodded, swallowing his candy and grabbed Lisa by the arm, leading her further away from Caitlin to avoid any fistfight. Caitlin could be quite threatening when she was mad.
"I don't think angering Caitlin right now is a good idea." He warned her.
"I'm doing this for her own good." Lisa chuckled. "If she doesn't make a move on the hot guy, some other woman might perfectly steal her place."
Caitlin tried to ignore the comment, switching her microscope back on. She really had to get some work done, but concentration seemed to avoid her like the plague. Her mind seemed to find her colleagues' conversation way more interesting and she had the bad feeling that Lisa's statement held some truth. She hadn't really given Barry any sign that she liked him for something more than friendship and she was also afraid to admit it. But it was obvious that she had to clear up what her relation with Barry was.
"Listen." Cisco's voice was firm, warning Lisa. "Drop the relationship-advices subject."
The other woman frowned at his stern voice. "Are you still mad at me for the other day, Cisco?" Lisa chimed. "I really did enjoy kissing you."
Suddenly, Caitlin turned around and looked appalled at Cisco. "You kissed her?!"
"I can't deal with this right now." Cisco threw her way, before ignoring her again. "Come on, let's talk somewhere else." He grabbed Lisa's arm and they walked out of Caitlin's lab, leaving her deep in her thoughts.
Even if Caitlin was curious about it, the relationship between Cisco and Lisa was the least of her problems right now. She had a decision to make. Well, she was pretty sure she had already made the decision – she didn't really like it though.
They had seen each other more and more over the weeks, and Barry could feel that he was getting closer to her opening up to him. It wasn't easy, but he was patient. Starling Investigations had other agents on surveillance over S.T.A.R. labs and no suspect activities had been spotted. So Barry could take his time to get closer to the young doctor. As long as he was making progress, according to Oliver, everything would be okay.
He had tried a few times to ask about what projects she was currently working on, but she had always been very vague in her replies, telling him she wasn't really allowed to talk about it. He had stopped asking about it when she had once asked him "Why does that interest you so much?" Barry had replied with a cheesy excuse like "I'm interested in you and you're interested in your job so that means I'm interested in what you do." So Caitlin had dropped it with a roll of her eyes.
What he hadn't counted on was the feelings he began to develop. He grew quite fond of spending time with her. He absolutely loved the passionate look that would appear on her face every time they talked about some scientific stuff, how her eyes would light up as if her brain was shining through her eyes. And Barry's personal challenge was to coax as many smiles from her as possible, because it always seemed to brighten the air around them.
"Aw come on, it wasn't that bad…"
"Of course you would say that, you haven't read the books!"
It was Friday evening and they had just gotten out of the movie theatre.
"Yes, so from a cinematographic point of view, the movie was pretty okay."
Caitlin bit her lower lip nervously. "I guess." She finally admitted, but before Barry could celebrate his victory, she continued with the passionate voice she always used when talking about something she cared about. "But the storyline was completely different than the one from the books. And that's inadmissible. They just kept the names of the characters! Other than that, nothing fits!"
Barry tried to keep in the laugh that was threatening to burst out of him. He failed miserably. "Oh come on Cait, it's just a movie." He said when she threw him a death glare. She didn't even seem to notice him using her nickname. He had picked up the habit of calling her 'Cait' around their fifth meeting and she had never seemed to mind, though a slight blush on her cheek would always appear right after him saying it. But not this time.
She just continued walking straight forward with a pout on her face, not paying any more attention to him. He chuckled lightly at her stubborn behaviour and caught up with her, walking at her speed. They stayed like this for a few minutes until Barry threw one arm around her shoulder and squeezed her against him. "Don't be like that snowy."
That nickname earned him a jab in the ribs but also a small laughter from her. He let her go with a proud smile and a comfortable silence settled in between them. Until Caitlin finally broke it. "Listen Barry, we need to talk." She said seriously, going to sit on a bench. Barry frowned, the smile falling down, and followed her. That was usually the break-up sentence. Except they weren't actually dating.
"What is it?" He inquired.
He saw her shoulder tense up, her back straightened and her lower lip caged up between her teeth. Her eyes were fixed on her hands, her fingers playing with the space on her ring finger where, he guessed, her engagement ring used to be. Finally, Caitlin took a deep breath and spoke. "I don't know what this…" she showed the space between them with one hand. "… is. But I don't want you to get your hopes up."
The light-hearted feeling he had been wearing on his sleeves the whole evening suddenly left him bare, crashing down on the floor. Barry felt like the ground under him was giving away and that an abyss would soon swallow him.
"I told you about Ronnie and how it broke me when he died." She continued, apparently oblivious to the thunder happening in his head. "It took me time to get to the good place I'm at right now… Hell, until a few months ago I was still wearing my engagement ring…" She let out a shaky breath. "The point being that I don't think I'm ready to jump into a new relationship yet." She paused for a moment. "It is what you want, right?" Caitlin's inquiring eyes flew up to meet his.
Barry swallowed hard and just nodded. It wasn't like he had been hiding his intentions from her. He had been very clear that he wanted something more than friendship.
"That's what I was thinking." She mumbled more to herself than to him. "But I'm not ready and I don't want you to wait for me, because I don't know how long it's going to take." Her voice cracked a bit at the end of her sentence. "I can't expect you to wait…"
A crease appeared between Barry's eyebrows. So she was worried about him waiting. She wasn't telling him she wasn't interested. She was telling him she needed time. And Barry could deal with that; he would deal with Oliver & Co later. He felt his lungs being freed from the sudden anxiety that had taken over him and he finally could breath normally again.
"Listen, Cait…" He felt her shiver next to him, the slight blush on her cheek was present this time. "I like you… A lot… And there's absolutely no pressure, I can wait."
"No…" She shook her head. "I can't ask you to wait, that isn't fair."
"Caitlin, you're not asking me. I'm telling you. I'm waiting." Barry stated matter-of-factly, not leaving much place to argue. She glanced up in his direction and he saw her shoulders drop in relief while letting out a nervous chuckle.
"Are you sure?" Caitlin asked cautiously, not wanting to be the one to get her hopes up.
Barry didn't know if he had ever been so sure and so unsure about something at the same time. On one hand he was certain that he could wait for her. Everything about her shouted how amazing and how worth the wait she was. But on the other hand, a feeling was gnawing his stomach, telling him that what he was doing was wrong, that he was deceiving her. And somehow, it felt even worse than what he had expected. She wasn't the average woman looking for a casual boyfriend. She was a young woman who had lost the love of her life and who was trying to move on. With him. He could see the hurt and the pain still swimming in her brown irises. Doing anything to make it worse felt inhuman.
Doing this to her was disgusting him.
But that was his job, right?
"I'm sure." He replied with a firm voice.
The young woman gave him a soft smile, a small twinkle arising in her eyes, before leaning into him, laying her head on his shoulder as he sneaked one arm around her shoulder.
"Thank you." She whispered.
Yes his job was to pretend liking her to get to his goal. No matter the costs.
Except part of him knew he wasn't quite pretending everything. And he already hated himself for what he was doing to her.
A/N: Okay, so I needed a female character to get on Caitlin's nerves so who better than Lisa Snart? Anyway, it was just some fun, her role won't be major in this story :)
See ya' ! ;) (there will be more fluff in the next chapter, don't worry!)
