Chapter 4: The cyborg who would do anything for you
Ratchet paid the taxi double to get him to Al's Robo Shack in warp time. He'd told Qwark a little white lie... well, actually it was bold faced, that he was going to swing by to visit Talwyn, and since he had no idea how much time that would buy him, he was in a hurry.
Al muttered to himself at the sound of pounding feet outside, "Oh good grief, sounds like a rush job." But he put on his best storefront facade as they burst through the doorway, exclaiming, "AL'S ROBO SHACK! If I can't fix it, it ain't... Ratchet!" As the Lombax dropped the Dimensionator on the counter, he said, "Well, if it isn't Ratchet."
"You... said that..." he wheezed, his tongue lolling through a faint smile.
"You didn't have to rush. My sale was last week. But you know I'll always cut you a good deal." He eyed the Dimensionator with a frown.
"Got some... water?" Ratchet asked, catching his breath.
"Sure, help yourself."
The cyborg technician nodded to a strange, colorful contraption next to the counter, with Mr. Water emblazoned on it in cartoony characters. Ratchet eyed the spigot pointing upwards dubiously, muttering, "What the heh...?"
Al explained as Ratchet turned it on, "I salvaged it from Emertron, Slate and Pounder's Carnival Nine." Ratchet wasn't sure if it was a game or just rebuilt wrong, but he blinked as it fired globs of water into the air in different arcs, accompanied by wild rock music. He had to be light on his feet, but still managed to get them all in his glass, gulping it thirstily. Al finally noticed something was amiss, asking, "Hey, where's Clank? You two are inseparable."
Ratchet looked down with a depressed sigh. "Well... uh, you see, he... it's... kind of a long story, Al." He shook it off, determined not to spoil the mood, as he was really glad for this reunion. "So, how are you doing? How are those implants treating you?" It was still a bit startling after not seeing him for a while to look at the metal covering the part of his head and arm so cruelly shot away by Ace Hardlight.
He waved offhandedly. "Oh, they itch sometimes, but that's implants for ya."
Ratchet looked down, still feeling a heavy burden from letting that happen. "Al... you know, I'm really sorry I couldn't--"
The technician put his hand up. "Not one word. It was unfortunate, but stuff happens. And heck, I made out great. My hearing is amazing, my vision is astronomical, my blood pressure is down and I even lost weight. So don't give it another thought, I'm fine. Now that all that's out of the way, what can I do for ya?" He returned his attention to the strange device on his counter.
Ratchet gave him a grateful smile for his forgiveness. "Thanks Al. Anyway, I was hoping you could help me with this."
He tilted it back and forth, finally asking flatly, "Is this a hat?"
Ratchet forced a smile, hoping that the implants hadn't hurt his intellect recently. "Well... yeah, it's a... very special hat. See, it's a Dimensionator. My father--"
"OH! That explains all the quantum engineering in here." He reached inside the top with delight, as he was now in his element, deep in technoland, as Ratchet heaved a sigh of relief. "Oh, and I bet it has a cerebral cortex multiplexor interface for direct mental input of functions and coordinates! I wonder how tunable it is? I'd love to give this thing a little test run--" He pulled the large washer out in distaste. "Has this thing been in a sewer or something?"
As Ratchet began to chuckle and think of where to start, he suddenly had to cover his muzzle as a stinging cloud erupted, filling the place. Al hacked out, "What the... black hole hell is... pepper spray doing in this thing!"
Ratchet choked as he stumbled for the door, tears streaming from his eyes. "It's to drive off... Zenifarian Death Weasels!"
"Death Weasels?!"
After the place was properly aired out, Al began going over his inventory, checking his computer with a shake of his head. "Darn it, still can't get through to IRIS. Now... where are those diagnostic ports?" He blinked as he pushed a button, and two antenna popped out, poking him in the cheek.
"I can save you some time," Ratchet informed him, checking his notes, rattling off the laundry list of failures IRIS had given him. "And... I guess you know about the pepper spray." He couldn't help but grin at that scene.
Al blinked in amazement. "Wow! You've really been brushing up on your quantum mechanics!"
Ratchet had to admit, "Well... actually, IRIS did the diagnostics and--"
Al snatched him up by his chest straps, exclaiming, "What?! IRIS?! Eye Arr Eye Ess? Thee IRIS supercomputer?! How! It can take as much as a year for an average schmo like me to log into the IRIS Hyperband Network!"
Ratchet pushed him back and then brushed his fingertips smugly. "Ohh... I just happen to have a front door pass. In fact, I've been there a couple of times alread--"
The cyborg grabbed him again, crying, "Oh you have to take me there sometime! Please! Oh please, oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh pleeease take me with you!"
The Lombax pried himself away with a smirk. "You really need to simmer down a little. But... you know, the old girl could use some patching up. I think I'll take you up on that, after I get some things sorted out."
Al clasped his hands together almost reverently. "Ohh, it would be an honor!"
"Okay, but first things first. I have to get the Dimensionator running."
Al shook his head, and Ratchet's heart plummeted at what he said. "I can tell you right now that most of the stuff on that list I don't have in stock. In fact, some of it is going to be really hard to come by. Like, I didn't even know there was such a thing as a Raritanium laser. You Lombaxes were amazing craftsmen, and it's going to take some exotic stuff to get this thing going again. You can't just saunter into the hardware section of the local Galactic Tar-zhay for it."
Ratchet blinked in disappointment. "You mean... you can't help me?"
Al threw up his hands. "Oh, pshaw, I didn't say anything like that. Just hold on a minute while I consult some of my sources. I guess I could use boring old Yoohoo and Oogle."
Ratchet gave him an irritated look as he followed him to his terminal. "Yeah... wouldn't want to stoop to using a mere common search engine now, would we?"
He pointed to the screen that popped up excitedly. "Oh look! The MPs are working on a new album! Stun might even sing a duet with Courney Gears--!"
Ratchet steered the cyborg's hand to the keyboard with a growl. "Al... remember thee exotic stuff for thee special hat?" He had to make a face at the news though. Courtney Gears must be grasping for legitimacy.
Al muttered apologetically, "Oh... yeah, right, sorry. I'm just used to browsing for a couple hours when I get on." Ratchet shook his head, drawing up a stool to watch the technician work, wanting to take some notes on what techniques he used on the galactic net to ferret out obscure info.
"So... there really is a Raritanium laser," Al remarked, scribbling on a pad. "Not that I'd doubt IRIS whatsoever, it's just that Raritanium isn't normally known to lase. The problem is, there's only one right now in existence that anyone knows about, at the Gadgetron research facility on Kalebo III, and I don't think they'd give that up. But maybe you can swing getting hold of the Raritanium crystal they use. If it's synthetic, maybe they'll make you another one. I think I'm going to have to make my own Quantum Induction coils based on the ones in the Dimensionator, because the smallest one I'm aware of is as big as you are. As for the Cerebral Interface Grid, something that refined only exists in the Cragmite Empire, since Tachyon stole a lot of Lombax technology. And the only Bose-Einstein Condensate refined enough to use in the Dimensionator is at a Cragmite facility on Pirellax III, and that's way outside the galaxy, above the galactic plane. There's less gravitron and neutrino interference out there, that's why they use it. They'll have dark matter there too, and I'll need a chunk of that. It'll be in a containment unit." He finished scribbling and handed the page to Ratchet. "Here ya go."
He was glad for the notes, as Al had rattled everything off in an excited blur. Unfortunately it looked like a bunch of random markings made by a child or an arthritic doctor, except for a tic-tac-toe game he played with himself and a Qwark-like sketch of the Lombax. He handed it back, murmuring, "Uhh... could you... type that up for me? Ya know... just in case I have to show this to someone who... isn't as familiar with your style as... I am..." He added subliminally, "Not."
Al scowled at him, muttering, "It's perfectly legible. But... eh, no problem."
Ratchet muttered as the technician began typing, "IRIS said something about the Zoni having qualities of dark matter..."
Al looked at him sharply. "The what?"
He didn't want to get into it right then, saying quickly, "Oh, I was just wondering about dark matter. I know I studied about it in school, but it didn't make much sense. What is that stuff?" Mostly he wanted to distract Al, but he was curious.
Al shrugged. "Oh, It only really makes sense to us science fiends. It's a weird form of matter that exists all over this universe, but is governed by different principles than our matter is, so it mostly doesn't exist. I mean, it does, but it doesn't. So there's probably a whole flip side to this universe, a world that doesn't know we exist either. But, give it the right kind of energy, and it does some crazy stuff. It's not very commonly known." He noticed a fascinated look in Ratchet's face, telling him pointedly, "So don't open the containment case to look because you won't see anything there. And then there really won't be anything there because it'll get away. In fact, don't look at anything. It'll be safer."
'Safer?' Ratchet thought curiously, taking the text directly from Al's computer. "Okay, I got it. Uhm... I want to get on this right now, but I'll be sure and fill you in on a few details as soon as I come back. And then we'll see about that visit to IRIS."
Al clasped his hands in anticipation. "Oh, please hurry back! I want to sort out my schedule so I can spend... well, as much time with IRIS as possible!"
"You got it," he said as he eased the Dimensionator off of the counter. "I'd... better take this, just in case. Tachyon is a little too interested in this thing."
The cyborg was already hard at his computer, when what Ratchet told him finally registered. "Tachyon? I heard that you defeated him--" He looked up for his friend, only to see that he had run off and was already well on his way to the taxi stop.
Ratchet hopped into Aphelion's seat afterwards, buckling in as he checked his messages, looking to the display in disappointment.
Qwark: Qwark here!
Qwark: Hey Ratchet!
Qwark: Little buddy!
Qwark: Where you at?
Qwark: 'Sup!
Qwark: Uh...hello??
Qwark: Is this a bad time?
They scrolled down for two pages, and he sighed, "Still no messages."
Aphelion seemed to be fighting a giggle as she told him, "I can filter your messages for you."
Ratchet was tempted, but, "No... about every twentieth one actually means something."
"So, where are we headed this time?"
He'd been considering this while talking with Al, and he remembered that Clank had a relative, in a robot manner of speaking. "Planet Quartu."
Aphelion was clearly surprised. "Why on earth are we going to a backwater Blargian world?"
"To visit an old friend of Clank's." He began setting up the coordinates for the flight plan, as he enjoyed the many details of being a pilot. It also took his mind off of what was coming. He didn't relish the thought of being the one to inform Clank's mother that his son had been kidnapped by robots from the X-dimention. It sounded too much like an Agent Clank holovid. He grabbed the controls, announcing, "Departing for Quartu."
It was much more of an ordeal than he suspected, growling to himself as he re-entered the factory he'd invaded years ago, "Those Blargian butt-mites! I can't believe they're still here, slaving away!" Once again, he had to fight his way in, despite the fact that their leader had long ago been atomized. But then he fell into a dark mood of a different type as he approached the factory computer which had given Clank life. He couldn't keep his ears from drooping entirely as he waved in greeting. "Uhm... hi, again."
On the screen facing him, text began scrolling. 'Ratchet. It is good to see you once more. I have been following your exploits.'
"Oh, really?" He perked up at that briefly, but then, that just made him feel even worse, as he had nothing good to tell her. "It's... really nice to hear that you're keeping us in mind. Uhm..." He fell silent, as all the speeches he'd worked on during the short trip there fell apart in his mind. They were just meaningless flat cliches that one robot might say to another. And if it didn't mean anything to him, he didn't want to waste her time uttering insincerities.
In the growing silence, the words he dreaded seeing began, with an all too living touch. 'Ratchet? ...Where is my son?'
He swallowed as the dismal reason for the visit overwhelmed him, made heavier from the affectionate wording of a monther concerned for her child. "Uh... I have some bad news. I'm afraid that... some alien robots that took an interest in Clank... made off with him. They vanished without a trace. I... tried to stop them..." But he said to himself, 'Obviously not hard enough...'
Her response took an inordinately long time to appear, though in the background, he could hear the factory shutting down, section by section. 'Oh... I see...'
He clenched his fists, murmuring, "I'm sorry... I'm really sorry. I miss him so much... I've been spending every waking moment trying to learn how to find him, and I won't give up until I get your son back. I promise."
'I know, Ratchet. You have no need to apologize. I know you very well from what my son has told me of you. I know you care for him very much. I knew what you were going to say, and I trust you to keep your word.'
He gave the computer a melancholy smile. "Thanks for your confidence in me." He looked down, murmuring, "Uhm... I don't really have much more to say, and I have a lot to do before I even know where to begin to get after him."
'I know. But before you go, take this.'
A panel in the wall to the side opened up, revealling a small bronze sculpture she must have done of him holding Clank in his arms, and his throat clenched at the sight of it. "It's... really pretty. He's gonna love this..."
There were beeps from above as she drew his attention back to the screen, where a map was displayed. 'Follow this path. I have something which should assist you.'
"Thanks again. I appreciate it," he told her with a smile as he returned the sculpture to the wall opening. "I'll come back for this. I don't want one scratch on it."
As he departed for the item the computer had waiting for him, she flashed on the screen, 'Godspeed Ratchet. I know you will bring my son back to me.'
Author's notes:
Ace Hardlight: a former hero turned criminal during his enforced participation in Gleeman Vox's underground death arena program called Dreadzone. Unfortunately, he lost his soul, giving himself over to his evil tendencies, ruthlessly killing everyone he faced, and nearly killing Al for trying to defeat their explosive restraining collars. Ratchet swore revenge, and later killed Ace in one of the arenas he once dominated.
Al: simply known as "Al" throughout the series, he is a youngish middle-age male, a little overweight, and the ultimate geek. His knowledge seems to know no bounds, as he has been involved in helping Ratchet and Clank with everything from giving Clank robotic enhancements to help them out, to file decryption. His infamous "Robo Shack" is located in Metropolis on planet Kerwan. He became a cyborg – a human using robotic parts as prosthetics – when Ace Hardlight tried to kill Al for removing their explosive restraining collars when held prisoner in the forced combat world of Dreadzone. He survived, and the cybernetic parts he used to rebuild his wounded body are his own designs.
Emertron, Slate and Pounder: a veiled reference to the sci-fi prog rock group Emerson, Lake and Palmer, and their most famous hit, Karn Evil 9.
Quartu: one of the worlds in the Blarg realm, leathery looking aliens who seemed surprisingly adept at high technology despite the simple warrior folk Ratchet and Clank encountered. Planet Quartu was the site of research and manufacturing activity, and the factory which gave Clank birth is located their. The computer running the factory clearly doesn't like her role, but is helpless to do anything about her situation, helping out Ratchet and Clank on their adventure there. Clank clearly understands the relationship with this computer, referring to her as "mom," and they share something of a typical, warm parent-child bond.
