Thank you to CapriciousC and MaggieCullen for betaing this nightmare. I heart you both hard.
SM owns all. I just get to play with Edward in my dreams.
Chapter 4
EPOV
A few minutes after Natalie walked by, we saw her nearly running back towards Bella's office; her face was stained with the tears she had shed due to the harsh words spoken to her. She apparently was able to find what she was looking for with the help of one of the other employees. Her thoughts weren't quite as frantic as before, but it was clear that she was fearful of losing her job. She was truly terrified of Bella. As she re-entered the office, Bella spoke harshly again. "Today must be your lucky day, Natalie. But I'll have you know that I will not tolerate another fuck up. You may leave."
Emmett and I sat in silence for a few more minutes, taking in everything that had transpired.
"We need to get out of here, Emmett. And fast," I mumbled. I was beginning to feel uneasy being where we were. Our hiding place wasn't all that concealed; although Alice assured us that we wouldn't be spotted, I had a bad feeling about our current location. The thoughts racing through everyone's minds were mostly frantic. Apparently, they too were afraid of Bella. Before hearing her outburst to Natalie I wouldn't have believed Bella had it in her. What had happened to the sweet and innocent Bella that I knew? The Bella I knew wouldn't dream of being so intentionally cruel to someone else. The Bella that yelled at that poor girl was not the same person. I couldn't believe how different she seemed. I had hoped that she was just having a bad day; but upon hearing everyone's thoughts I quickly discovered that she was like this most of the time, and that utterly shocked me.
"Yeah, let's get out of here. I don't think I need to hear more of Bitchy Bella right now. Dude, did you see what she did to that Natalie girl? I didn't think she had that shit in her," Emmett thought.
However, before we were able to do anything, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I quickly grabbed it and read the message that Alice had sent:
Stay put. Bella is coming out. She won't see you if you don't move. Hold your breath, Edward.
I held the phone up so Emmett could read the message.
Both of our heads whipped around abruptly when we heard the quiet footsteps approaching. I glanced up just as Bella was rounding the corner. She was walking back toward the reception area. As soon as I saw her I was assaulted by her scent that swirled in the air around me. I wasn't accustomed to it any longer, and it hit me like a wrecking ball to the gut. She still smelled like freesia and lavender, and her blood smelled better than I remembered. Flames burst forth in my throat and venom started pooling in my mouth. I closed my eyes tightly, willing myself to overcome the primal urges racing through my body. I quickly stopped breathing and once again grabbed onto the pot we were hiding behind, not caring if there were damage this time. I had forgotten just how potent her scent was. It was nearly overwhelming for me to endure. I quickly gulped down the venom in my mouth. I felt Emmett's hand on my shoulder warning me to remain calm.
"You got this, bro," he questioned silently.
Eyes still shut, I just nodded my head with a grimace on my face. Once Bella made it back into her office, I slowly opened my eyes; I noticed that a large part of the pot I was holding onto lay in a pile of debris on the floor by my feet, and a long crack ran all the way to the bottom. It was only a matter of time before the entire thing crumbled completely to spill its contents all over the office. I sighed, knowing that there was nothing that could be done about it at the moment. I still hadn't chanced taking a breath. My phone vibrated again and I quickly glanced at the message.
You're clear now. Go. It simply said.
Grabbing Emmett by the arm, I started heading in the direction we had come. The receptionist was bending down behind her desk to retrieve a pen she had dropped on the floor. We quickly made our way toward the door and exited at vampire speed. Not bothering with the elevator, we ran down the 44 flights of stairs in a matter of seconds. Upon entering the lobby, we walked at barely a human pace toward the doors and out into open air where I finally took a deep breath. Filling my lungs with fresh air, I desperately tried to purge myself of Bella's intoxicating aroma.
Once we were in Emmett's Jeep he looked over at me. "You alright, little bro?" he asked hesitantly.
"I'm fine. Let's just get home," I replied in a flat tone while pinching the bridge of my nose. Emmett simply nodded his head. We drove through the city for a while before he spoke again.
"Hey, you wanna talk about this shit? I mean, you have to be as damn shocked as I am about what just happened, if not more. That was fucking unbelievable. Intense, man," he said.
I looked over at him for a moment, not really sure what I wanted to say. There were so many thoughts running through my head in that moment that I was temporarily unable to decide how to verbalize them.
"She's so different," I sighed after a few minutes.
"Yeah, at first I didn't think that was Bella. It looked like Bella. It sounded like Bella. Hell, it sure as fuck smelled like Bella. But I couldn't believe that was Bella. What the fuck happened to her," he wondered.
"I don't know," I said, barely above a whisper.
We didn't speak for the remainder of the drive home. I was completely lost in my thoughts for a while, unable to even contemplate anything Emmett was thinking. If he spoke to me I was oblivious to it. I too was wondering what had happened to Bella. The simple truth of the matter was that I didn't know. I had been missing from her life for eight years now. A number of things could have happened to make her change. I knew my leaving affected her greatly, but could that be the reason she was the way she was now? Had I broken her so badly that she resorted to being cruel and bitter? Surely, that couldn't be the sole reason for it. There had to be some other reason for the drastic change in her. I never would have imagined that Bella, my Bella, would ever be so crass to another person. The woman I saw today simply wasn't the person I knew, the person I loved. Had I hurt her so much that she gave up on one of her most endearing qualities, her innocent compassion?
I simply didn't have an answer for that.
Emmett's voice finally pierced through my daze, "Edward, you coming or are you going to sit in the damn Jeep all fucking night?" he said. I blinked a few times and looked around. I was surprised that we were sitting in front of the house. I climbed out of the Jeep and started to walk up the steps to the front porch. As I neared the door, it swung open to reveal a somber looking Alice.
"I didn't know. Edward, I had no idea she would be so, so, so...mean. It's been such a long time since I've had a vision of her. I'm so out of tune with her now that I just didn't see it. I'm sorry, Edward. Are you okay," she asked as she wrapped her little arms around my waist.
"I'm fine. Just completely surprised, that's all. I had no idea," I replied.
"I know. None of us knew. I'm so sorry, Edward," she said softly. When I left Bella, I was adamant that Alice not look for her future. She reluctantly heeded my request.
"I don't blame you for not knowing, Alice. You weren't looking for her. You only did what I asked of you."
We turned and walked into the house where I saw the rest of my family standing looking solemn. Saying nothing, I headed toward the stairs and ascending them quickly, seeking the confines of my room. I shut the door a little harder than I intended and it cracked the door frame upon contact. I walked over to the black leather couch in the corner and sat down in front of the window that overlooked the forest beyond the place we now called home.
All the hope I was feeling earlier in the day was absent now completely. I knew I shouldn't have gone to see Bella. Seeing her only made me hope for something that was never meant to be. Hope was a deadly thing. Nothing good could come from hope. That was one fact I learned over the last eight years. During my time with Bella, I had hoped for a future with her. I didn't know how that future would play out, how it would come to pass, but I still hoped. Then her disastrous eighteenth birthday party occurred and at that moment I knew I was a fool to hope for something that was never mine. Bella wasn't mine. She didn't deserve to be in danger every moment of her life. She deserved to have a career and the love of a man that would never harm her. She deserved children. She deserved to be safe. I was unable to give her any of these things.
I sat in my room for hours, not moving, and not breathing. I felt that fissure in my chest burst open once again, the pain crippling me. I knew there was no reason for me to try to go back now. The Bella we saw today would never want me. I was certain that she had moved on as I intended. She no longer loved me. That was plain. The old Bella would have never acted in this manner. It just wasn't possible.
I knew in that moment, if I were physically able to, I would have produced tears. The pain was unbearable, pulling me deeper into the dark meaningless hole that was my existence. I sat there letting the pain take me. It was what I deserved.
Hours later, there was a quiet knock on the door. I didn't acknowledge it. I continued to suffer the mountain of pain under which I was buried. The knock sounded once more.
"Edward? Please, may I come in," Alice asked softly.
I didn't respond.
Alice stood there for a moment before walking in and shutting the door behind her. She walked over to where I was sitting, the normal bounce in her step noticeably absent. Sitting down beside me she leaned over and placed her head on my shoulder, taking my hand in her tiny one and sighed.
"I don't think we should give up yet, Edward," she thought. "I know it's a lot to take in at the moment but I know it's not over yet. Please, look."
My mind was again assaulted by the vision of Bella and Alice with their arms around each other smiling and laughing. The only difference between this vision and the one from so many years ago was that Bella looked older. But only just. She looked like the woman we saw today.
I sighed and said, "I don't see how that can happen, Alice. It just isn't possible. The Bella we knew is gone."
"I don't think she is, Edward. She's there. I know it. I have to believe. My vision proves that she's there. I won't give up on her and you can't either. You love her. Fight for her. Please," she implored.
"I don't know if I can."
"Yes, you can. Don't start the self loathing again. You and Bella are meant to be. So we've hit a speed bump. We can get over it. We will get over it," Alice said.
I sat there shaking my head. I didn't know what to say. I ran my hands over my face roughly letting out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.
Alice continued, "All we need is a plan. You'll see. It will all work out in the end. Let's just plan. Come downstairs with me and let's speak with everyone else. Please?"
I looked at her for a moment. The pain in her eyes was obvious. I knew Alice was hurting as much as I was. She loved Bella too. I hated seeing any of my family in pain, but I was especially sensitive to Alice. Her pain broke my will. I gazed into her eyes and then hesitantly nodded my head. I went to stand but was pushed back down roughly as Alice embraced me in a tight hug.
"You won't be sorry, Edward. You'll see. Really, you will. It will all work out fine. If it doesn't I will stop shopping for you for an entire year!" She said.
I raised an eyebrow at her, stunned by what she said.
"Oh, alright, maybe I won't do that, but it's the thought that counts, right?" she said and I chuckled in response. Only Alice could get me to crack a smile at a time like this.
We both stood and started toward the door. Alice, still holding my hand, squeezed it and looked up at me. "I only want you to be happy. You deserve it," she thought. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair, tugging on the ends lightly.
We descended the stairs quickly and walked toward the dinning room. Everyone was already positioned around the table, with Carlisle at the head and Esme sitting at his side smiling lightly as I walked in. Alice bounced over to where Jasper was sitting. He pulled out her chair and she sat down, leaning over to place a chaste kiss upon his lips. He smiled lovingly at her before turning his gaze on me. I glanced over at Emmett and he was sitting there looking at Rose, rubbing her back. Rose looked mad, as she always did at the mention of anything related to myself or Bella. I shook my head and sat down on Carlisle's left side and looked over at him. He watched me for a moment and then nodded his head and began to speak.
"It seems that you and Emmett had quite the day in the city today. Son, I know it didn't work out as you had planned, but don't let that deter you. It only means that you need to work harder to achieve your goal. Alice has informed us that she sees Bella accepting us once again. We have to trust that to happen. We are all willing to assist you as much as you need," he said.
Rosalie huffed and rolled her eyes. I glared at her before turning back to Carlisle.
"I believe Alice has a plan that will get things started in the right direction," Carlisle continued before pausing to take a breath, "Edward, I love Bella like a daughter. I want her to be a part of our lives just as you do. She belongs here. This family needs her. Without her presence, we are incomplete. She makes us whole. I agree with everyone here, we need to find a way to work this out so she can once again be a part of this family."
I looked around the table at my family. Each of them were nodding their heads in agreement, apart from Rosalie who was looking at her fingernails.
"How do we even start?" I asked, "You didn't hear Bella today, Carlisle. She's not the same person that she was when she was seventeen. She's changed. So much. She's not a nice person any more. I never thought I would see the day when Bella would be intentionally malicious. How could I possibly be able to crack through that? How could any of us? What if the Bella we knew isn't there? The Bella from today would give Rosalie a run for her money," I finished. Rosalie looked over at me with narrowed eyes.
"We just have to have faith, Edward. Give it time. It will work out in the end, son," Carlisle said.
"Edward? I have an idea and I'm sure it will work," Alice said. I looked over at her and raised my eyebrows and nodded my head for her to continue. "First, I don't think you should let her see you just yet. I don't think that will be helpful in the beginning. What I had in mind was for me to hire her. From what I've gathered, Bella doesn't like to turn down a client. She's a bit of a workaholic these days. Either she will take the project on herself or hand it over to one of her junior designers. I've also found out that she will usually work with anyone that asks specifically for her. That is what I intend to do. I know there is a chance that she will try to pass us on to one of the other designers in the office, but she will at least have to meet with us first. By us, I mean Jasper and myself. We need to let her get use to the fact that we are in the area before you see her. We need to ease her into this as much as possible. We don't want to scare her."
"I'm not entirely sure this is a good idea, Alice," I begun but she cut me off.
"I know. But trust me. It will work. I've seen it," she said.
We stared at each other for a long time before I sighed and nodded my head. "Fine, Alice, but I'm skeptical about your plan."
"What's the worst that can happen, Edward? She can refuse to work with us, but then I'll just think of something else. But she won't refuse," Alice said.
"Okay."
"Yay! Thank you Edward! I am so excited! I'm going to call her office first thing in the morning to set up an appointment. This is going to be so much fun! I've always wanted to have a professional designer redo our room, and now I get to do that! There so much to be done! The possibilities are endless," she said as she bounced in her chair. Her excitement radiated off of her in waves. I smiled lightly at her and stood up. Before I was able to take a step toward the door however, she bounce right into my arms hugging me tightly. "Thank you, Edward. Really. I miss Bella so much. I miss my best friend. This is the best gift you could ever give me. Thank you," she said with such enthusiasm that it made me chuckle again.
True to her word, Alice called Bella's office first thing the next morning, and made an appointment for a consultation. It was set up for later the following week.
"Apparently, Bella had a cancellation that day," Alice explained later, "otherwise it would have been nearly six months before we could have seen her. I can't believe we have to wait a week to see her, though. She's really in high demand. It's amazing. I took a look at her website last night and saw some of the rooms she designed. She is really talented. Some of her clients are really famous too, actors and high ranking businessmen. Did you know she did some work for Donald Trump? Seriously! I couldn't believe it. That man has the worst hair ever. Ugh. Anyway, she's also designed for some of New York's elite and Hollywood's finest. It's quite impressive. The style of her work is beautiful. I think I would recognize it anywhere now. Her work has been published in several interior design magazines. Anyone who's anyone in the design world knows all about Isabella Swan. I wonder why she goes by Isabella these days. It's a pretty name, but she looks like a Bella to me. I'll have to ask her about that. Anyway, she's climbed the ladder of success quite quickly. She's only been out of school for a few years..."
As Alice continued prattling on, I sat there and listened to every word. I couldn't help but be proud of what she had accomplished in just a short time.
Alice continued, "Edward, did you know she received a full scholarship to NYU and finished her bachelors degree in business in two and a half years? Then she went to New York School of Interior Design and received her masters degree in design in a year and a half, which should have taken probably three years to complete. I always knew she was smart. And then she went to work for one of the top design firms in the country for a year before opening up her own company."
I smiled. I always knew Bella was smart too. Although it did surprise me that she majored in the field she did. She never seem to be very artistic. I assumed she would major in English literature and become a teacher. I remembered how she loved to read classic novels, Wuthering Heights was her favorite. I wondered what made her take the route she did. Regardless, I couldn't help the pride I felt toward her accomplishments.
Over the next week, Alice continued to recite all of Bella's achievements that she discovered. It was quite clear that Bella worked hard to get where she was. I was happy to realize one thing about her hadn't changed. When Bella set her mind to something, she went at it full force. That held true when she was a teenager and it was apparently still true now.
The night before Alice and Jasper's meeting with Bella, Alice was nearly uncontrollable. She could hardly contain her excitement.
"Alice, I think you're about to kill your husband," I said playfully. The emotions radiating off of her were nearly palpable in the air. I could see the toll it was taking on Jasper, but he didn't seem to mind much.
"Whatever, Edward. Jazz is just happy to see me happy. Tomorrow is going to be a wonderful day. I can't wait to see and talk to Bella," she exclaimed. "Edward, are you going to come with us into the city? Maybe when we're done we can all do something fun. It's been a long time since we all did something together. Please," she begged.
"I'm not sure if that's a good idea. Not that I don't appreciate spending time with everyone, but being that close to Bella right now may not be beneficial to me. Or her," I said.
"Nonsense, Edward. You're coming, so don't fight it. Emmett and Rose can keep you busy while Jazz and I are with Bella. We should only be in there for an hour or so. Then we'll head out for the night. What do you want to do? We can go see a play? That would be fun." Alice said.
I smiled at her exuberance. I couldn't help it. I also couldn't deny that I missed spending time with my brothers and sisters. Maybe some time with them in the city was just what I needed.
"Okay, Alice. Whatever you say."
Alice squealed and knocked me to the ground when she came at me for a hug. I laughed. It had been a long time since any of us truly laughed, and it felt nice to do so. But I couldn't help but wonder if I was allowing myself to fall into a trap that hope would surely cause. I pushed it from my mind and decided to let things just be. Like Carlisle said, I needed to have faith.
The next afternoon the five of us found ourselves driving into the city. I was so nervous that if I didn't know better I would have sworn that I felt nauseous. Was this what it felt like to have butterflies in your stomach? Surely not. This was too intense. Before I knew it, we were pulling into the parking garage near Bella's office. We pulled into a spot toward the back on the ground level. As soon as the car was in its spot Alice jumped out, dragging Jasper with her.
"We'll see you in an hour. Don't worry, Edward. Everything will go fine," Alice said and smiled widely. Jasper chuckled at her side. Holding hands, they started to walk away.
"Good luck with the bitchy piranha, guys," Emmett called out to them laughing. I held back a growl.
I watched Alice and Jasper walk away with trepidation. I wasn't sure what was going to happen during their meeting. Alice's visions of Bella were still hazy. Therefore, Alice was unable to determine if the meeting would run smoothly or not. Once they were out of sight I sat back in the car and closed my eyes trying to think of nothing significant. The time crawled by at a snail's pace.
"So, Eddie, what do you think is going the fuck on up there, now?" Emmett said after a while.
"Your guess is as good as mine, Emmett," I replied.
"Well, it has to be a damn good sign they aren't back yet, right bro? That means she didn't kick them the fuck out, I suppose," he said.
"Honestly, I don't see why we're even here. Esme is perfectly capable of designing anything, and I'm sure she's better at it than Bella, anyway. This is just a waste of time if you ask me," Rosalie snapped.
"Nobody asked your opinion, Rosalie," I sneered.
"You know, Edward, you're just going to mess this up again. It's what you do best, after all," she snarled.
I pinched the bridge of my nose trying to hold my temper in. It wouldn't do well for me to lash out at Rosalie right now.
"Emmett, I think you need to control your wife," I said through gritted teeth. Rosalie glared at me before turning back to her reflection in the hand-held mirror.
"Awe, come on Rosie. Don't get upset, baby," Emmett said as he ran his hand up the inside of her thigh.
"Could you please not do that while we are trapped in this car. I'd rather not get sick," I said. Emmett laughed.
A few moments later I heard Alice, "We're on our way back out. I think it went...well?" she thought.
"They're on their way out now," I mumbled and a short time later they appeared in the doorway to the building and walked over to us quickly. They got into the car and shut the doors.
"She's on her way out right now. She left right behind us," Alice said. "And Edward, she's not alone," she added as a thought. What did she mean she wasn't alone. Was she with a friend? I tried to decipher Alice's thoughts, but she was translating The Itsy Bitsy Spider into Chinese. My brow furrowed as I glanced at her, wondering what she was trying to keep from me.
"What is it Alice? What are you hiding from me?" I said, but before she was able to answer, Bella emerged. She indeed was not alone. She was walking with a tall dark haired man with dark blue eyes. He looked quite fit and muscular and had a slight stubble to his face, as if he hadn't shaved in a couple of days. He was dressed in an expensive designer suit and had his hand on her lower back, rubbing gently.
"Baby, I don't think I can make it until later. How about we have a little fun in the car before we leave," the man asked as his hand drifted downward. My temper flared. I continued to glare at the man and noticed that he was wearing a wedding band. Rosalie noticed it the same time I did.
"Are they married," she asked surprised. I looked at Alice. If Bella was married, then her entire plan was pointless. Before Alice could reply Bella spoke.
"Ben, give me a fucking break. Do I look like a goddamn whore to you? Besides, what the hell would your wife think of that?" she laughed coldly.
"What the fuck?" Emmett bellowed.
"Come on Isabella. Baby. You know I could be more than your fuck buddy," the man named Ben replied. They stopped at a black Mercedes SL65 AMG Roadster and he pushed her up against the passenger side door with his body.
"You will be whatever I fucking want you to be, Ben. Nothing more, nothing less," she said coldly and wrapped her hand around his tie, yanking down on it hard to pull his lips to hers. They kissed passionately, almost roughly.
"Fuck, baby. You're making me hard," he said pressing himself against her more firmly and ran his tongue down her neck. One hand ran up her thigh and his fingers started to push up the hem of her dress revealing her black garter while his other hand reached up to cup her breast. His hand continue to roam up her inner thigh and Bella moaned and then said, "Let's get the hell out of here now, Ben, and you can fuck me all you want tonight."
Ben pulled back and looked at her with a mischievous glint in his eye. "You don't have to fucking tell me twice, baby. I'll fuck you so hard and take you so many ways tonight you won't be able to walk tomorrow. Let's get your hot piece of ass into this fucking car now before I rip this sexy dress off of you, bend you over the hood of my car, and fuck you from behind," he said as he reached into his pocket and found his keys. He unlocked the car, bent over and kissed Bella deeply once more and then walked around and got in the car himself. A moment later they were flying out of the parking garage.
I sat there and gaped at the spot they just left while Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper turned to look at me with shocked expressions etched on their faces.
"Dude!" Emmett said, "Not only is she a bitch, but she's fucking a married man! This is all sorts of fucked up," he said shaking his head.
I couldn't agree more.
I KNOW! UGH! I'm not to happy with Bella either. For the record, I'm not condoning having an affair with a married man, or woman for that matter. But unfortunately, it happens. However, like I said before, there is a reason for all of this. Just stay with me for a bit and I promise to explain it all. Just keep in mind, things are not always what they seem.
Alrighty, you know the drill peeps! Send me some love (or hate, whatever, I'm a big girl and can take it)! I'd love to hear what you think so far.
