A/N: I come bearing a new chapter! Once again, I had to split this chapter and the next one up because they were getting too long. I seem to have that problem a lot, don't I? Anyway, Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls isn't mine. It's just fun to play with.
Chapter Four – Bed The Size of a Country
Rory found herself staring blankly out the window for the majority of her three hour flight from Des Moines, Iowa to Newark, New Jersey. That is to say, she stared off into the night, because there wasn't really anything to look at while the sun was down.
Rory had been lucky to get a seat on a nonstop flight. There were very few flights to the New York area that did not require a stopover of some kind, usually in Chicago. But Rory did not want to deal with a layover. If she took one of those flights, she wouldn't have slept all night. She would have arrived early the next morning, severely caffeine and sleep deprived. Somehow, she did not think those were the ideal circumstances to be dealing with anyone, let along Finn, Colin, or Honor. Especially not Logan.
So in the end, Rory had shelled out the extra money required to get a seat on the last nonstop flight of the night. Of course, the only seat available had been first class. She was more than willing to put the flight on her credit card, although she winced slightly while making the charge.
She was grateful to be sitting in first class at the moment, instead of cramped in some middle seat in economy. She had a large seat with no one sitting next to her. She reveled in the quiet, empty first class cabin. The relative silence and the bad coffee helped to clear her thoughts. Rory had originally tried and failed to sleep for a bit. When that didn't work, she tried to read a book she picked up at one of the airport shops. (She didn't have any books with her on the campaign bus. Another fact that had been difficult at first, but unfortunately books took up too much space when you're on the road for an undetermined amount of time. Occasionally she'd buy a new release that she desperately wanted to read, only to immediately ship it home to Stars Hollow so she wouldn't have to carry it around.) When the book failed to hold her attention, Rory had curled her legs up under her and assumed her current position of staring out the window.
She glanced at her watch, realizing that they would begin their decent soon. Minutes later, the flight attendant instructed them to secure their tray tables, fasten their seatbelts, and bring their seats back up. Rory finished the contents in her cup, handed the garbage to the flight attendant collecting, and put her tray table away. She then returned her book to the bag that contained the "I heart Iowa" coffee mug and the Iowa State University t-shirt that she bought in the Des Moines airport for Logan. She had wanted to buy him a gift of some sort, but her options were limited in the tiny gift shop. While browsing the gift shop, Rory came across a picture of Senator Obama on the front cover of an Iowa newspaper. The picture was taken at an event a couple of weeks ago. Looking closely at the picture, Rory could just make out her face in the background, among a sea of other reporters. Smiling, Rory had grabbed the newspaper and added it to her pile of gifts. She placed the book next to the newspaper and Logan's other gifts, also adding a miniature bottle of overpriced scotch that she purchased from the flight attendant. Rory was pleased with how her impromptu gift bag had turned out.
She was trying to take her moms advice and not dwell on the negative of the situation. Worrying about all the horrible outcomes weren't going to help anyone. This was the time for Rory to be strong. In their relationship, Logan had always been the one to be strong, especially the year following his graduation from Yale. In her opinion, Logan had really come into his own at that time. He confidentially made decisions. When her grandfather had another heart attack, Logan stepped in with ease and took control of the hectic situation, effectively calming her down. He erased many of her fears about the two of them being apart during the time he was in London. Of course, Logan still screwed up. But when he did, he no longer needed as big of a push to get back on his feet. He was capable of that all on his own now.
And now, Rory had to be the stronger of the two. Breaking up didn't change the fact that he needed someone to push him through this. And Logan was stubborn, Rory knew that. He wasn't going to take emotional support from just anyone. Rory hoped that, despite their year apart, Logan would accept her shoulder to lean on. If he didn't, she was worried that he might close himself off from everyone completely.
Colin and Finn had been right in that aspect. Logan needed her now, at the very least for someone to talk to. She was positive that Logan never called upon his two friends to discuss anything resembling feelings. Colin and Finn were the kind of friends who bailed you out of jail, not the people you talked to about what a disappointment your father thinks you are, and how that makes you feel. And his parents…well, Rory didn't think Logan had ever given them a hug, much less opened up to them about his feelings. It wasn't that Logan was unemotional. Once Rory broke through his many layers, he had no problem talking to her about anything. But Logan was the kind of person who played his emotions close to the chest, hiding them behind his charming smile. From what Colin and Finn had told her, Rory was under the impression that Logan hadn't so much as smiled since being diagnosed. He certainly wasn't talking to either of them about it. Rory supposed that Honor could eventually get him to talk, but she doubted he would feel comfortable doing that.
No, Rory would have to be the one to get him to open up. Admit to himself that he's scared. Rory might have her own personal reasons for wanting to see Logan again, but those would have to be put aside in favor of whatever it is that Logan needs. And she was okay with that. If staying only long enough to talk some sense into him was what Logan wanted, than Rory would leave and never look back. What mattered now was making sure that he got better. She had to keep him fighting.
As Rory came to this realization, she suddenly became aware of the fact that her plane had landed. The other first class passengers were gathering their things and exiting the plane, and so Rory followed suit.
Finn was waiting for her just outside security holding a sign that said, "Reporter Girl," a chauffer's hat sitting on his head. Rory couldn't help but grin. Despite the circumstances, it was good to see him again. She hadn't realized how much missed the eccentric Australian.
"Finn!" Rory exclaimed. She picked up the pace, closing the distance quickly, and threw her arms around him in a welcoming hug. She heard Finn laughing slightly, returning the hug warmly.
Breaking the hug, Finn held Rory at arm's length, examining her carefully. "Do I know you?" he asked, causing a giggle to escape Rory's mouth. "No, seriously. Do I? You don't exactly look different. Just…maybe a bit more confident."
"Do I? Huh." Rubbing elbows with other journalists for the past year had certainly helped Rory become more assured in her writing abilities, but she didn't really feel too confident at the moment. After breaking down on the phone to her mother, it had taken her most of the flight to calm herself completely.
"How are you doing, love?" Finn finally asked, taking hold of her laptop bag as they made their way to baggage claim. His tone was more serious than she'd ever heard it before.
Rory shrugged. "Okay, I guess. I mean, as good as I can possibly be, under the circumstances."
"I know the feeling. God, I need a drink! I haven't had even a sip of alcohol since I got to California. How do you normal people go this long without a drink?"
"Lots and lots of coffee," Rory insisted. She spotted her suitcase on the turnstile and pulled it off. This Finn also took as they began walking towards the parking garage.
"I'll take your word for it," he said, spotting the small bottle of scotch in Rory's shopping bag. He made a grab for it, but Rory smacked his hand before he could reach.
"Hey! That's not for you, it's for Logan. I'll get you one when you contract a potentially fatal illness."
"I'll be sure to remember that when my liver eventually fails."
As they entered the garage, Rory realized that Finn's car probably wasn't even here. Whatever he did for work kept him travelling a lot, and she was pretty sure that he was still based in New Haven. Newark, New Jersey was decidedly not in Connecticut.
"Finn?" she asked. "Are you actually driving?"
"God no!" he laughed. "I borrowed the number for Huntzberger's driver. And by 'borrowed' I mean I took the number out of his cell phone and called Frank myself. Technically, Logan's been cut off from access to a driver after leaving HPG, but I decided that now would be an exception."
"You can't just say that Honor is using the driver?"
"I probably could, if I thought of that. You're smart. You should be a reporter."
She rolled her eyes as Frank took her bags and placed them in the trunk of the car. Rory smiled at him politely as she climbed into the back of the limo with Finn.
Almost immediately, Finn grabbed a bottle of whisky from the fully stocked bar, downing most of the contents in one gulp. He sighed in relief, settling back into his seat as Frank pulled the car out of the garage and onto the highway.
"So, explain to me what's going on," Rory asked. "Am I staying at the Plaza just for tonight? Should I eventually go back to Stars Hollow? When will I get to see Logan?"
"Too many questions! It's too early for all these questions."
"Finn, it's one in the morning! You're the most awake at this hour."
"Alright, then I'm too sober for these questions." Finn took another large gulp of the whisky before continuing. "It really all depends on how Logan reacts. I'm almost certain he wants to see you, in which case Honor will probably insist you stay in one of their spare bedrooms. I'll come 'round the Plaza in the morning to collect you and take you back to Honor and Josh's apartment. I guess we'll just play it by ear from there."
"You will come get me?" Rory asked skeptically. "In the morning? When the sun is out?"
"Alright, Colin will come get you."
"Doesn't he still hate me?"
"Not really." Finn took another swig of the whisky. "I think he let whatever anger he still held go when we saw Logan in the hospital."
"Was it that bad?"
"I think it was worse than the time he jumped off the cliff, only because at first we didn't know what was wrong. And then after that, knowing didn't make it any better." Finn shuddered slightly, taking another large gulp of whisky. Had it been anyone else, Rory would probably suggest that they slow down on the liquor. But she knew better than to suggest that to Finn. Finn needed the alcohol to get back to his usual, joking self. He'd been far too serious for too many days.
Rory let Finn ramble on for a while, telling some story about his antics from his latest trip to Australia. Although she occasionally made a comment, Rory wasn't really paying any attention. The effects of her overly emotional day were finally starting to wear thin on her. She was exhausted. She wanted nothing more than to crawl into the bed in the Huntzberger's suite and go to sleep for hours.
They finally arrived at the Plaza, and Finn helped her take her things up to the suite. She knew where it was, having been there a few times before with Logan. She appreciated the sentiment, though. Finn wasn't normally the "walk girls to the door" type of guy. She had a feeling that Finn was only behaving so gentlemanly because, if Logan were to find out that Finn did not see her safely upstairs, Finn would be missing a few organs that he rather enjoyed having attached to the rest of his body. While Rory had no clues as to whether or not Logan hated her right now, she knew for a fact that Logan wouldn't like hearing that Finn had just dumped her at the hotel and left her there. After all, Logan was still a gentleman.
The goodbye and handing over of the room key was all a bit of a blur as Rory stumbled into the suite exhausted. She dropped her bags in the bedroom, pulled out a clean pair of pajamas, tossed her dirty clothes on the floor, and collapsed onto the bed, exhausted.
Rory awoke the next morning to the sun streaming through the window. Having forgotten to close the curtain, the bedroom of the suite was filled with light. Rory groaned, pulling the covers firmly over her head. She stayed hidden for a couple of minutes before finally giving in and sitting up in bed.
She had never been in the Huntzberger's suite without Logan before, and Rory was suddenly struck by how empty it was without his presence. The bed seemed like it was a country larger. Everything was too tidy. Coffee hadn't been made yet. With a sigh, Rory dragged herself into the kitchen to start the coffee machine, and then grabbed her toiletries bag, shuffling into the bathroom to take a shower.
Twenty minutes later, Rory was standing in a bathrobe, a mug of coffee in hand, frowning down at her suitcase as her wet hair dripped down her back. Her clothing was becoming an issue. She could not solve her current predicament on her own.
"Dragonfly Inn, Lorelai speaking," her mother said as she answered the phone at the front desk of the Inn.
"What does one wear when you're about to see the ex boyfriend whose marriage proposal you turned down a year ago, when said ex boyfriend has been diagnosed with a potentially terminal illness?" Rory asked.
"Well," Lorelai said. "I'd go with some lingerie. Nothing says, 'get well soon' like a strip tease."
"Mom!"
"What? I'm sure a free show would cheer him right up."
"I'm being serious here. I'm looking at my suitcase, and almost all the clothes I have with me is business attire. There are a couple of cocktail dresses, also not appropriate. And some jeans and t-shirts, which is way too casual for the look I'm trying to pull off. I wasn't prepared for the seeing of the ex boyfriend here!"
"Well, what kind of message do you want to be sending, kid?"
"I don't know." Rory ran her fingers through her damp hair. "Something that says, 'hey, I'm doing fine without you, but I really really miss you, so will you please talk to me again, and also I hope that you to get well soon.'"
"That's some chatty clothing. But let's rewrite the message a bit. I'm thinking, 'please jump my bones right now.'"
"Mom!" Rory warned again.
"Are you telling me that's not what you want?"
"No. Yes. Maybe. I don't know."
"That's pretty much all your options, kid."
Rory sighed. "I'm not really expecting anything out of him. I don't even know if I'm still in love with him anymore. What I do know is that I need him to be okay, and I want him to still be in my life. That's about all the answers I have for you right now. So I really need your help with this right now! I'm going over there soon; I don't have time to buy anything else."
Lorelai paused for a moment before answering. "Go with a nicer pair of jeans, your most casual dressy top, and blazer over it. Nicer shoes, no heels."
"Okay," she said as she pulled the appropriate clothing out of her suitcase. "Thanks, Mom. I've gotta go finish getting ready. I'll call you later?"
"You better, I feel like I'm only getting bits and pieces of everything that's happened, here. Love you, kid. Good luck with everything."
Rory was just putting her shoes on when she heard a knock at the door. Grabbing the coffee mug that was filled with her third cup of coffee, Rory opened the door and let Colin inside.
"Hey," she said, giving him a rather awkward hug before taking a sip of coffee. "I'm almost ready, just give me a second." Rory drained her mug quickly, went into the bathroom to brush her teeth again, and grabbed her blazer before meeting Colin in the entryway again. He stood in the same spot as before with his hands in his pockets awkwardly, avoiding her gaze
The awkwardness of Colin's actions angered her slightly. "Look, can you just say whatever it is that's on your mind so we can move on already? Just tell me why it is you're mad at you hate me so we can go back to being friends again. I don't have the patience to deal with this."
Colin shrugged. "It's not really that I hate you. I'm just mad that you hurt Logan. You got to go off and live your life without dealing with the aftermath. You didn't have to deal with the drunken rants or the constant trips to California to make sure he wasn't becoming a recluse. Not an easy task when you're in Law School. And yeah, it was hard not to hate you while sitting on the plane, or while listening to all the nasty things he said about you."
Rory winced. "Does he really hate me that much?" she whispered.
"Honestly? No. I don't think he actually meant any of the stuff he said. He was just trying to vent. Eventually, the rants lessened, and stopped all together. I think that, at the time, he was just trying to find reasons to hate you so he couldn't miss you."
Rory nodded. She had gone through a similar period of Logan bashing post breakup. Of course, she knew Logan hadn't told Colin any of this straight out. It was all conjecture. But she had a good feeling that Colin was correct in his analysis.
"Why are you telling me all this? I mean, the stuff about him missing me. You could have just let me believe he hates me."
"I guess, because you asked. And I think, especially now, that you have a right to know." Colin paused. "I still don't like that you hurt him, but I can look past it and not stay mad at you."
"Would it help you to know that he hurt me just as much as I hurt him?"
That made Colin crack a smile. "Yeah, a bit."
Rory smiled in return. "Okay, good. I didn't want it to be awkward between us. I miss talking to all of you, and I hate feeling like everyone had to 'choose sides' or something. I mean, of course you would all choose Logan over me. You were his friend first. It just sucked feeling like I was never really any of your friends in the first place."
"Trust me, you've taken me home from the bar drunk one too many times for me to ever say that you were not my friend. I believe that you had to drag me away from a lamppost that I decided was my new girlfriend once."
"Well, who can blame you? She had great legs. But the way you were kissing her was just not appropriate for a public setting."
Colin laughed. Any tension between them had dissolved completely with her comments. "So, you ready to go?"
"Yes. Um…should I bring my things with me? Or would that be a bit forward to assume I'd be staying at Honor's."
"I say we be optimistic," said Colin, picking up the suitcase sitting on the floor as Rory grabbed her other bags. "I'm pretty sure he wants you there, but I've been wrong before this week. He's been so moody lately, it's hard to tell exactly how he'll react."
"You don't think he'll be mad, do you?"
"Not really, but I also didn't think that he'd be mad at me when I accidentally spilled his cup of water on the flight over."
The nerves settled in during the cab ride over to Honor and Josh's Fifth Avenue apartment. They stopped for a bag of bagels and coffee, which had been Colin's excuse to leave the apartment to meet Rory in the first place. As Rory polished off her fourth cup of coffee, (which was probably adding to her jitters) her nerves were starting to move into the panic region.
Deep breaths, she told herself. You have nothing to worry about.
When they finally reached the apartment, Rory was concentrating very hard on her breathing. She had no idea why she was so nervous. She had no reason to be. She wasn't there to win his affections or anything; she was trying to help Logan. That was it.
"Relax, Gilmore!" said Colin as he unlocked the door to Honor's apartment and stepped inside quietly. Colin motioned for her to leave her bags in the front entryway for now. She dropped them as quietly as possible, keeping the one with Logan's gifts. Rory glanced around at the pictures on the walls quickly before following Colin down the hall towards the kitchen.
"I come bearing bagels!" he shouted as he placed the bag on the kitchen counter. Honor was standing in the kitchen making a pot of coffee. She waved to Rory, pulling her in for a kiss on the cheek. Rory gave her a questioning look, silently asking where Logan was.
Living room, Honor mouthed, and Rory nodded gratefully.
"Finally!" Honor said loudly, playing along with Colin's act. "What took you so long?"
The two left the kitchen to go towards what Rory assumed was the living room, motioning for Rory to follow them. "Bit of a crowd this morning." They entered the living room from the back. The large plasma TV was set up against the far wall, so the couch was facing away from him. Rory bit her lip nervously as she felt her heartbeat quicken. There was Logan, or at least the back of Logan's head. Had his hair gotten blonder in the year since she'd seen him? He was sitting casually on the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table, and a newspaper in his hands. The news was on in the background, but Logan wasn't paying any attention to it. She grinned slightly at the sight. Some things never change.
"It was a bit busy," Colin lied easily. "But hey, guess who I found while I was out?"
The question was obviously for Logan, but he didn't move his eyes from the paper. He hardly even noticed the silence as Colin waited for an answer. It was clear to Rory that he hadn't been paying any attention to the conversation going on around him.
"Logan!" Honor finally said loudly. He still didn't look up.
"What?" Logan finally asked. Rory felt herself relax a bit at the sound of his voice. It had been a year since she heard it, and she was now realizing exactly how much she missed it.
"Take a look at who's here."
With a sigh, Logan finally put down his newspaper and turned to see who it was.
A/N: I'm so sorry about the cliff hanger! I am evil. But like I said, this chapter would have been way too long if I kept the Logan stuff in, so I had to cut it here. I promise you though, the next chapter is filled with Rory and Logan interactions. I should be able to get it to you sometime tomorrow, so the wait won't be too long.
As always, reviews are not mandatory. However, they are highly appreciated, and they make my day.
