IV: Day 2, 12:00 pm – 6:00 pm


1207 hrs (12:07 pm) - NERV Hospital Wing


Misato tapped the desk as she watched the time tick by. Ritsuko was still asleep which was fine, she wasn't due to be woken up for at least another hour to an hour and a half, but Rei was awake and had yet to make her appearance. She honestly wondered what she was up to.

It occurred to Misato that masturbating in Asuka's body was just barely this side of rape in a way, but she was convinced that if Asuka thought she could successfully do it to stave off the effects of the drugs, she'd do it in a heartbeat. Hell for all she knew, she was doing it right now.

Finally, Rei walked into the room. Misato took note of the fact that Rei had perfectly mimicked the red-head's favorite hairstyle, which indicated she either knew it well or was very good at observing such small details that most others would overlook.

"How are you feeling Rei?"

Her blue eyes blinked once but she smiled softly; it was one of her small understated smiles, the ones that Asuka loved so much. She wondered how much the girl would like to see such things in her own body.

"I am well Major," she replied as she sat down primly in a nearby chair. "I believe I am beginning to cope with my current situation, though I am still anxious all the time."

"It's only natural," Misato replied but her face took a serious turn. "Did you want to talk about it?"

Rei's face went neutral, and then her brow furled as it normally does when she is thinking about something carefully. On one hand she knew that she should talk to her about this to help her cope with the situation, but on the other, she feared speaking of it might bring about the anxiety attacks again.

Phobophobia, the fear of fear itself.

She didn't want to fall into such a pattern; it was destructive and would only serve to weaken her further. In her heart she knew Asuka didn't like weakness and so she wanted to make sure she wouldn't become weak herself.

Facing my fear can only make me stronger.

"I am willing," she said at length, though Misato could feel the anxiety in her voice as she gave such consent.

"Ok," she replied. "But if you get uncomfortable talking about it, you can stop."

She nodded.

Outside the room, Asuka stood against the wall, listening in as Rei didn't close the door all the way. She had glimpsed inside, saw herself briefly and her heart started to race.

Good… fear… it's something… something I can hold on to and not feel so dead inside.

Hearing her own voice was also scary as she listened in on the conversation, especially since her voice sounded like most of the emotions were pulled out of it, though even Asuka could tell that Rei was beginning to express emotions a little more.

Of course, she's free of the drugs now isn't she? She's starting to feel for the first time. What is this doing to her? Misato said something about being uncomfortable…

"My life up to this point was always something that was pre-scripted for all intents and purposes. Though I can not explain much of it as it is sadly beyond your clearance level, it is sufficient for me to say that every faucet of my life has been planned out."

"All if it?" Misato asked.

"Yes. I exist with a unique purpose and my life has been conducted around that purpose. To this effect, the side effects of the medication I am forced to take to stay alive have served me well. As far back as I can remember, I have taken the pills and sacrificed my… humanity."

Asuka felt sorry for Rei but she couldn't shed a tear, the drugs in her system were preventing her from really feeling what she knew was in her heart. And now her heart was starting to beat faster.

"But I did not regret that," she continued. "I accepted it as part of my life as it was required of me even as a small child. I never thought about how things really felt, or smelled or tasted; it was all rather irrelevant in the grand design. I never even felt so much as a twinge of curiosity. I never even thought about the people that could feel what I could not, as even this was irrelevant. As Asuka pointed out… I am… was… a doll."

Was?, Asuka questioned in her mind.

"Was?" Misato asked.

"Yes," she continued. "I no longer see myself as that, but it is an uphill climb. Though Doctor Akagi is intelligent, I do not rate my chances of returning to my old body. Of course, I wish to… and yet… I don't."

Asuka and Misato both noticed the wavering in her voice. She was starting to feel the anxiety and fear again. Misato knew she'd likely need to console the girl again soon. Already she was starting to shake though it was barely noticeable at the moment.

"Why not?" Misato asked. She knew, though she wanted to hear how the child phrased it.

"My old shell is a prison," she whispered, her voice wavering more. "Unless Doctor Akagi can find a way to remove the dampening effects of the drugs on my emotions, I would not want to return now. But… I can't condemn Asuka to such a fate."

Why not? Asuka thought hopefully. Do you like me too?! Please say you do!

"That is rather selfless of you Rei," Misato replied. "It must be hard decision for you though." She stood up and approached the girl as the redhead brought her knees up to her chest again in obvious discomfort.

"No," she replied. "I have a purpose that I can not fulfill within this shell, and it isn't right to trap Asuka in a prison she must hate beyond our comprehension."

Damn… so that's it then…

"More than that," Misato replied. "It's her greatest fear."

Why are you telling her that?! Mien Gott, I want to go in there and slap her!

"Asuka has Pediaphobia?" Rei asked. "This must be… terrible… for her." Almost instantly Rei started crying though she looked shocked at what was happening to her. "Major!" she cried as Misato wrapped her arms around the girl. "What is wrong with me?! Are these tears?!"

Asuka's heart broke at the sound.

"Am I crying?! Why?!" Her voice sounded as if it was about to shatter in its own sorrow.

"You empathize with Asuka," Misato replied hugging her closer. "This is a natural… if a bit excessive reaction to this situation."

She's overemotional. Verdamnt, I need some of those emotions right now.

"I don't want her to suffer!" Rei cried out.

Asuka's heart skipped a beat. Rei hated her, or so she thought, though she hoped she was wrong about that. Nothing in this conversation until now indicated otherwise… now suddenly… what was happening here?

"Of course you don't," Misato replied. "It's okay."

"No! It's not!" Rei nearly screamed as she pulled away from Misato. "I'm hurting her now! Don't you see that?! She's in my body! She's in hell! Why?! Why did I have to be so focused on my purpose… why couldn't I want something for myself?!"

Asuka choked back tears of her own as she realized that Rei was breaking. She wanted to go in there and comfort her, but fear stayed her hand.

What if I'm wrong?

"Rei calm down!" Misato tried to get to the girl but she pulled away quickly.

"No! Leave me alone! You can't help me now! I've ruined her life!"

"This isn't your fault! You're being irrational!"

"I'm not! I know what I've done! It's why Doctor Akagi refused to answer my question last night, I know it!"

"Rei, what are you talk-"

"This is all my fault! All of it!"

Of course, all the yelling woke Ritsuko up, and she realized immediately what was happening. Rei was going hysterical.

"I'm to blame for all of this!" Her voice began to trail. "I… I did this… I…" her breath came up short. At the realization of what she felt she had alone been responsible for, her breathing suddenly became difficult as her chest just seized up. It was another anxiety attack, but far worse than the others she had dealt with previously. She clutched at her own heart as she fell against the file cabinets with a sharp bang, and her breath wheezed like a 20 year smoker who tried to run the Boston Marathon.

Ritsuko ran in with a syringe. "Hold her Major," she ordered and Misato obeyed. Even with her chest seizing up Rei was resisting though she was unable to do little more than mouth the word "no" and gasp for air. She kicked and fought until Ritsuko finally managed to pierce her neck with the needle. The plunger was depressed, and 20cc's of a sedative were immediately pumped into her body. With a last look of shock in her eyes, her breathing finally evened out and she collapsed onto Misato.

"What the hell?!" Misato finally said now that Rei was completely subdued. She shifted to cradle the child in her arms and sit down with her.

"I was expecting this at some point," Ritsuko replied, still trying to get the sleep out of her eyes. "I just didn't think it would happen this fast."

"She blames herself for this entire incident," Misato pointed out.

"I know. I should have answered her last night," Ritsuko replied. "I didn't think she would react this badly to it. I was more worried about keeping her calm than answering her rhetorical question. But I overlooked something."

"To a child," Misato replied, "the question of fault is not rhetorical."

"Rei regressed," Ritsuko agreed. "I just didn't realize she regressed so much."

Mien Gott. Asuka placed her hands over her mouth as a single tear broke free from her eye.

"I really don't want to keep her sedated constantly, but this is getting out of hand," she continued. "If she doesn't start calming down, I may have to."

Asuka peeked in and saw that Misato was sitting on the floor now, cradling an unconscious Rei in her arms and gently brushing the red hair away from her face.

She just lost her shit because she's blaming herself. But if she's beating herself up this badly over it, does that mean she does care about me after all?

Rei lost it the moment she realized what trading places was doing to Asuka. And the former redhead didn't miss that all important detail. She didn't know if it was wishful thinking, but it did make her wonder. She was just fine until the subject was breached and then…

What other explanation could there be? She said it herself, she cared nothing for the people around her, yet now… inexplicably, she's devastated over what's happening to me.

She debated stepping into that room, revealing that she'd been listening, but then, the decision was made for her…

"It's more complicated than you think," Misato replied. "Asuka's been fighting the drugs for more reasons than to just stave off her Pediaphobia."

"That's a long word for you Major," Ritsuko joked lightly.

"Yeah, I got it from Rei," she replied casually. "Look, the bigger reason why she's fighting it so much is that she's in love with Rei."

"What?!"

Yeah, time to leave… I knew I should have made her promise not to tell anyone… Mein Gott, at this rate, the whole of NERV will know by tomorrow night!

"I wasn't going to talk to you about this, but let's keep it between us for now," Misato continued.

So she has some decency after all. Asuka left at this point, quietly making her way back to her room.

"Are you kidding? Who would even believe us?"

"True. Anyway, she confided in me while you were sleeping. She's trying to prove the drugs can be fought off so as to prove to herself that she could get Rei out of her shell, in a manner of speaking."

"I never pegged her to be into other girls," Ritsuko observed. "Then again, this could just be a phase. The problem is, in such a traumatic instance, that phase will become a full blown psychological condition."

"True, but what harm is there in lesbianism. Besides, I have a theory that Rei might also be in love with Asuka, but neither of them know it yet."

"What makes you say that?"

"Sometime this morning… Rei masturbated in her bed."

"No!" Ritsuko said in obvious surprise. "Now you're pulling my leg."

"It's true! The bottom sheet was in the used laundry basket and it had a pronounced wet spot on it."

"Wow… how totally inappropriate of her to do that! It isn't even her body! But I see how it could have happened. Her sense of touch is fully restored."

"Yep, and all I think it took was a brush of something sensitive to get her exploring."

"Rei is finally having a real adolescence… but all the good came with some very bad. We need to get her back to her room."

"Yeah," Misato replied as she carefully picked up the girl, keeping her head cradled. Ritsuko noticed how she put her A-10 Neuro Clips in their proper places in the same hairstyle the second child had been famous for… placed carefully and lovingly. She could truly see it now… Rei had fallen in love with Asuka, and if Misato was correct about Asuka's feelings towards Rei… this would make for one of the most twisted love stories she's ever heard.

A few moments later, Rei was stripped into something closer to night ware (which is to say, her shorts were removed and a larger T-Shirt replaced her current one, as well as her bra being removed) and placed in bed.

"Misato," Ritsuko began, "I really hate to do this to you but…"

"I'll stay with Rei," Misato replied, knowing immediately what Ritsuko was going to ask. She never even looked up as she busied herself tucking Rei into the bed as a mother would her own sick daughter.

"Thanks," she replied.

"Don't thank me… I'm doing what any responsible mother figure should do. Please call Shinji for me though and let him know I'm not coming home tonight."

"I will," the doctor replied. "But never-the-less, you have my gratitude."

"The girls need us," Misato replied immediately. "That's enough for me."


Asuka collapsed head first into her bed. She felt terrible about what Rei was doing to herself and noticed she had managed to shed only one tear.

"Is this really all I can do now? One tear?"

She sat up, holding the pillow to her chest. Her sense of touch made the pillow feel almost like nothing anymore. She had to squeeze it tightly to her body to really register anything.

"It is getting worse…" She frowned. "IT'S getting worse. Why am I using less simple speech?" Then her eyes widened… Rei virtually never used contractions or simple language before. "No…" she whispered realizing she was slipping truly into Rei's role. It hasn't even been 24 hours yet, and she was already losing the battle with the medication.

"I can not let it end this way, I simply can't." She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to concentrate, realizing she again missed a contraction. The fear in her heart was returning, but just like everything else, it was only an echo. It was obvious to her that she was dying inside.

She tossed the pillow aside and moved towards the nurse's station in the room. Asuka opened drawers looking though them, hoping to find something she could use. After a few moments she found something; she wasn't sure just how something like this ended up in the nurse's station but she was glad she found it.

The blue haired child held up the surgical blade and watched the reflection of the light dance across the edge. It was beautiful to her now; the smooth cold steel, the almost graceful curve of the blade. She held it close to her as if it were a best friend she had not seen in a long time.

Asuka moved into the bathroom and started at her own reflection again. Rei's face stared back at her. She tried to make out what she was feeling inside but her face betrayed nothing. It was truly the face of a doll.

Her brow furled ever so slightly. She held her left arm over the sink, taking the blade in her right hand and held it to the skin on the back of her arm.

Rei would be disappointed in you.

She gasped slightly as the thought came to her unbidden. Rei would be upset if she knew that Asuka was abusing her body like this. But Rei always healed fast, and never scarred… so would it really hurt her in the end.

You would always know Asuka… you would always know what you did.

Her hand trembled slightly. Could she live with herself knowing what she did to Rei's body? Would Rei understand if she told her what she had done?

I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all. I hope she understands… I'm sorry Rei…

With a gasp Asuka drew the blade across the arm deep enough to draw blood. With such a high quality knife she barely needed to put any pressure on the blade. Her blood began to run down her hand and into the sink.

She felt the cut… and it felt good to her. The blood that ran down her hand felt almost cool against her skin.

"Nothing to it," she whispered and raised the blade up her arm about an inch from the first cut. "And I felt it… that wasn't dulled at all." She smiled slightly; it was a small smile, all she was able to do anymore. "I CAN feel."

She gasped again as the blade dragged across her skin a second time; more blood ran down the back of her hand.

She chuckled lightly, her eyes a little wider than normal. "This… this is almost fun."

She cut again, the gasp much more audible this time… and it sounded as if she was enjoying it far more than she should. The chuckles turned to a maddening sound, and the blade was dragged across her skin once more, but much more slowly this time. What sadness she had turned to unholy joy. She couldn't stop herself, she felt genuinely happy as she cut herself again and again.

"What the hell are you doing?!" came the voice of Misato from the doorway. Asuka instantly spun to face her, holding the knife in front of her defensively as she let her cut up arm hang at her side.

"Stay away!" she cried as blood seemed to nearly pour from her opened wounds onto the white floor. "I can feel again! I can honestly feel!"

"You're hurting yourself," Misato countered.

"I do not care! The drugs can not touch me now!" She started laughing almost triumphantly. "I will never submit! See! I have a weapon against it now!"

"You'll bleed to death if you keep this up!"

Asuka was now on the verge of screaming. "I do not care! I can not do it Misato… I can not live like a doll! I will not!"

"Asuka… stop being so selfish!"

The sudden change in tone from trying to calm her down to scolding her shocked her out of her fit of madness and she listened. Asuka's eyes however still betrayed her lost sanity.

"You're only thinking about yourself now! Don't you see it?! You're hurting Rei… you're killing her body!"

A tear slipped from Asuka's eye to land on her medical gown.

"She does not deserve this body," Asuka replied in a near whisper. "She deserves better… she is in mine now, where she can feel… where she can be normal, like she never was before."

"What are you…"

"I will not send her back into this prison! I know she blames herself for everything but it is not right! Maybe this was meant to happen. Maybe I am the bad girl who needs to be punished, not her. Maybe I am the one to blame for this exchange, and maybe this unfeeling doll of a shell is all I deserve."

"Asuka," Misato whispered. "How much did you hear?"

"I heard enough… I know she can never love me the way I love her, but I do not care… I want her to live on and be a normal happy girl, the one she never got to be because of some random accident of genetics. And if she can only do that by taking my body, so be it… I do not deserve it anyway."

"Asuka… there's a lot you may have missed then… Please put the knife down so we can talk a bit more like adults." Ritsuko was just on the other side of the door off to the side where Asuka couldn't see her. She had another shot ready and was prepared to put it into the second child as soon as she was coaxed out of the bathroom.

"All I deserve is this knife in my hand, and my blood upon the floor," she whispered. Her next words however were shouted. "Why can you not understand that?!" Even the shout was without feeling, nothing more than an elevated voice.

"Asuka, please. Please just… come out of there so we can talk about this. Rei cares about you more than you think she does."

"I heard her breaking Misato, I know what she thinks she feels. But she is just misguided… she is scared… she can not possibly know what she is talking about."

"How do you know?" Misato asked, as she inched closer. "She might have more insight into love than you think she does."

Asuka's eyes softened slightly. Her left arm was now aching from all the cuts on it. Even though some were quite deep, most of them had already stopped bleeding. She brought her arm to her chest as the knitting feeling of the skin trying to heal became almost bothersome. Blood stained her hospital gown and the flimsy fabric stuck to her arm annoyingly.

"I… I do not…"

"Please Asuka," Misato almost pleaded. "Please give her a chance."

If there is even the slightest possibility… but can it really be? It is too much to hope for, but… I want this… I NEED this…

Asuka took a tentative step forward, but the knife was still in her hand. When she got closer to Misato she turned it so she was handing the handle of it to her instead of the blade. Misato gently took the blade from her and put it on the counter.

"That's it," Misato encouraged. "You're okay now."

I need to rest... and I know what is coming... I shall indeed rest...

"I will… never be okay," Asuka whispered. She knew that Doctor Akagi was waiting for her so she could knock her out but accepted it. She knew she would never sleep otherwise.

With a sad smile that told Misato she knew what was happening next she took the last step into the main hospital room. Sure enough Ritsuko quickly took a hold of her and plunged the needle into her neck, but the blue haired girl never even tensed a muscle. Before Asuka succumbed to the sedative she mouthed three words to Misato.

"I forgive you."

She fell upon Ritsuko as limp as a dead fish. Ritsuko immediately moved her back to the bed and worked on cleaning her wounds and closing them up. Misato was more than just visibly shaken by the event and almost broke into tears herself.

"Where the hell did she get the knife?" she nearly cried.

"Each nurse's station in the hospital wing carries one. I'm the only thing that resembles medical staff here anyway, but I didn't think she was going to go completely emo on us. Otherwise I would have removed it long ago."

This experiment is getting out of control...

"Damn it Ritz," Misato exclaimed while biting back more tears. "This… this is too much! First Rei has a meltdown, now Asuka is cutting herself!"

"More than that Major," Ritsuko added, "Asuka was perfectly willing to sacrifice herself to let Rei have a normal life… If that isn't true love, I don't know what is."

"You sound jealous of them," Misato pointed out.

"Would it surprise you to know, that the closest I ever felt to true love before was the time you and I spent together in college."

Misato actually blushed at that, an almost sad chuckle escaped her throat as she wiped away the few tears that escaped. "I… wow… I didn't know… I thought you just really like fooling around like that."

"I did," she replied. "But that's really the point. What I felt for you back then was the closest to true love I've ever known. Since then, I've not really felt anything close to that."

"I'm sorry," Misato replied, sounding calmer now. "I guess you were pretty jealous of Kaji then huh."

"I knew he was bad for you," she replied as she continued working on Asuka's arm. "I knew because he had me first you know."

"He never told me that."

"Of course he didn't," the doctor replied sourly. "He knew the two of us were roommates and that I wouldn't even talk about the relationship we had."

"I guess. But you have love now don't you? I mean… you and the Commander?"

Ritsuko froze. "How do you know about that?"

"I'm not blind Ritz, besides I have to coordinate with Section-2 a lot and they indicated it to me."

Ritsuko looked at Misato sadly. "What I have with the Commander is… not conventional."

"What do you…"

"Almost... non-consensual."

"What?" Misato whispered, clearly shocked.

Ritsuko bit back a tear and went back to work. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"Ritz… how long has this been going on?"

Ritsuko stopped again. "Years… I'm not sure how many now. He would call me, and I'd have to obey him. I'd arrive after dark, leave before dawn. I'd have enough time to recover a little before work… you know, shower, freshen up… dress whatever new wounds he gave me."

"Oh, Kami-sama," Misato whispered.

"Rei's life isn't the only one that's a mess, Misato. Mine is far from laudable."

"I'm sorry."

Ritsuko shrugged. "What can you do? Gendo controls everything. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he did the same to Rei, he's a big enough bastard to do it."

"She would have said something," Misato pointed out.

"No, she wouldn't have. She's far too obedient for that. But as her physician, I'd notice something like that. I know he hasn't, I'm just saying I wouldn't be at all surprised if he did."

Misato frowned at that. Knowing the bastard was capable of such made her less enthused about working for the man. But she had little choice. She watched Ritsuko carefully wrap gauze over the pads on Asuka's skin to keep them in place. Once done she leaned up and brushed the azure hair from her face, and wondered what other secrets were being kept from her.

And just what did Rei mean by her life being "pre-scripted"?


1314 hrs (1:14 pm) – Tokyo 3 High School, Classroom 2-A


The second half of the school day left the children mostly to their own devices. The sensei was called out for unknown reasons allowing the children time without a teacher. Hikari, of course kept the noise level to an acceptable volume but otherwise allowed her classmates freedom.

Shinji stayed by himself as Kensuke and Touji seemed to be going over something on Ken's camera. He could only imagine what it was. It was likely some new get rich scheme that involved inappropriate pictures. The seat to his right was empty, but that didn't last. He heard someone sit down and smiled softly when he realized who it was.

"Penny for your thoughts?" came the cheery voice of Mana Kirishima.

Mana was a recent addition to class 2-A, and one that immediately took to Shinji. She had a cheery personality while hiding a tough interior. The girl was lively and intelligent, and very much in love with Shinji by all accounts, though Shinji couldn't figure out why.

"I'm just worried about my friends," Shinji replied. Mana knew exactly who he was talking about immediately, as they were both absent today. Still, she mentioned them by name to move the conversation along.

"Asuka and Rei," she noted.

Shinji nodded. "I don't know what happened, not that I could talk about it even if I knew. I know something happened at NERV… some kind of accident."

"It must be really tough on you pilots," she noted, "especially if a simple test or training exercise can get you hurt."

"Yeah, and to think Ken actually wants that life."

Mana chuckled. "Ken is an obsessive who loves anything military in origin. Trying to get him to not want to be a pilot would be like telling the sun to sit down and not show itself in the morning."

Shinji chuckled slightly. "True enough."

He watched as the two stooges looked more interested at the camera. "I wonder what that's all about," he heard Mana say.

"I don't know, and I'm not about to go find out," he explained. "Last time they got this interested in something it was grossly inappropriate for school."

"Ah," Mana began with disapproval, "those kinds of boys."

"Their hearts are in the right place, but I think they listen to their hormones too much."

Mana giggled. Shinji immediately decided he liked that sound.

He's noticed that ever since Mana started to spend time with him in school, he began to open up a bit more. Each meeting with her was getting him just a little further out of his shell. He knew Asuka would probably find that a good thing but would probably express as much in such a way as to continue to push her superiority. Rei wouldn't care on the surface, but Shinji suspected that Rei might secretly have some kind of interest in the world. He still wasn't sure if him growing as a person would qualify though.

"Hey, you wanna hang out after school today?" she asked.

"I don't know," Shinji answered. "I know we're off tomorrow but I might have to be home to cook dinner for…" he stopped short as his cellphone rang. He looked at it and saw that it was someone from NERV calling him. "Hold on a sec, I have to take this." He opened the phone.

"This is Shinji."

"Shinji, this is Doctor Akagi."

"Oh hello, Doctor. What's wrong?"

"The situation here has gotten worse, Misato is not coming home tonight, and neither is Asuka. You'll be on your own for now."

"I don't suppose I can ask what's wrong."

"Sorry Shinji, you know I can't talk about such things over an open phone line. Do you need anything or will you be okay?"

Shinji thought about what this meant. He didn't have to go home immediately… which meant he could hang out with Mana if he wanted to. And there wouldn't really be any harm in that right?

No, a voice in his head told him. You would not enjoy yourself. You're worried about your fellow pilots, especially Rei.

"I'll be fine. Thank you Doctor Akagi."

"You're welcome. Take care."

Shinji hung up. "Guess I won't need to cook dinner then."

Mana looked genuinely excited about that. "Cool! We'll go to the mall. There is a new arcade that opened up this week and I hear they have some of the best multiplayer games on the market right now. I can't wait to show you my moves."

Shinji couldn't help but wonder if there was a double entendre there somewhere.

"Sorry, Mana," he apologized. "I wouldn't be much fun if went with you. I'm worried about my friends."

"Aw come on," Mana pleaded. "Please?"

Shinji sighed. She wasn't going to let go so easily it seemed.

"Just keep in mind; I have clean up after school today." He relented only grudgingly. He was determined to have a good time for Mana's sake, but he knew his mind wouldn't be on games, or the beautiful girl playing them.

"I'll stay and help."

"But it isn't even your day," Shinji pointed out.

"That's fine," Mana replied. "I don't mind helping. Besides, it'll get us out faster!"

Shinji smiled softly. She was indeed a rare bird.


1534 Hrs (3:34 pm) - NERV Hospital Wing


Ritsuko continued working on the computer system trying different MAGI based simulations to try to get a better understanding of what happened during the cross synchronization test. But each time, she came out with the same result… A four way synchronization took place causing the pilots to switch bodies. To the best of her ability to tell, the souls in the EVAs did not also switch, only the souls of the pilots did.

Did they do this themselves?

It was a well know fact, at least known to Ritsuko that the souls in the EVAs could potentially act of their own volition. But to think they were capable of something like this…

But didn't they go berserk in the test chamber? Didn't that mean that this was not intended? So what went wrong?

"Sempai?" came the voice of Maya to pull her from her thoughts.

Maya was one of the bridge bunnies. She was a technician that had a lot of computer knowledge but a somewhat weak constitution. Despite that shortcoming, she was a valuable member of the bridge crew, and Ritsuko had to admit she was also quite cute.

It was at that thought that Ritsuko decided that Gendo ruined her for men. His rough handling made the idea of a relationship with a male seem much less appealing. Her experience with Kaji didn't help that at all. But Ritsuko had been on the other side before, with Misato.

"Would it surprise you to know, that the closest I ever felt to true love before was the time you and I spent together in college?"

Ritsuko had meant every word of it, despite her attempt to downplay it. Suddenly the thought of her and Maya together seemed like the best idea she'd had in a while. Plus, from her observations of Maya, she had a good idea that Maya may have a crush on her.

"Hello, Maya," Ritsuko replied. "Everything okay topside?"

"Just fine Sempai," she replied. "We're still trying to figure out if maybe it was some kind of mechanical failure that caused the EVAs to go berserk."

Maya didn't know yet that the pilots had switched bodies. Ritsuko needed her insight; maybe the girl could see something she didn't.

"Maya," she began, "I need to tell you something important. This is something you could potentially help me with, but you have to promise me no one else will hear of this from you."

"Um… sure," Maya replied nervously. "Is this some kind of super secret?"

"Something like that," Ritsuko replied. "The Commander doesn't want this getting too far. Understand."

"I understand, what's happened?"

"It's hard to believe, even though I've seen the results, but the pilots seemed to have somehow switched bodies."

"What?!" Maya could hardly believe what she just heard. But she knew Ritsuko was very serious about such things and wasn't joking. And if her Sempai believed it happened, she had to. "How?!"

"We still don't know," Ritsuko replied. "Here, take a look at this."

Maya stood over Ritsuko's shoulder and got closer to the screen. Though Maya had done this before, Ritsuko was starting to see the young bridge tech in a new light. She smelled the light jasmine perfume the girl was wearing and it was very distracting.

"Wow, those graphs are crazy, but I think I see where the change happened."

"What?" Ritsuko snapped out of her drifting to look at the screen. Maya pointed out a point of the graph where a few of the lines seemed to intersect and then mirror their previous spots. "Wait… why didn't I see that before?"

"So you see it then?"

"Yes, the beta graphs converged at +0.1 at precisely the same time, a few seconds before both of the pilots went unconscious. All other lines converged on that same point within a few moments of that time index."

Maya chimed in immediately. "And that means I can use the time index to see if something mechanical failed or reported a malfunction at that same instance. It could indicate or at least point out where we should start looking!"

"Maya you're a genius!"

She chuckled uncomfortably and blushed ever so lightly. "It's really nothing Sempai," she said modestly. "I guess you've just been staring so long at the graphs, you needed a fresh pair of eyes."

"Maybe," Ritsuko agreed.

"Hey," Misato said as she finally walked in. "Since we finally made a bit of headway, the techs can start sifting though the logs right? Why don't you to go get something to eat while that goes on. You haven't had anything real to eat since yesterday Ritz."

"Really?!" Maya exclaimed in surprise. "Sempai! That's not good! Come on, we'll go get some decent food topside."

Ritsuko was about to protest but saw the look on Misato's face.

"Seriously Ritz," Misato pressed. "Take a few hours off, it will do you some good. The kids will be out for a bit anyway so there's no harm in it."

Ritsuko sighed. "You're right. Ok, I'll go get food with Maya." Of course she knew exactly why Misato was so insistent and made it a point to get Maya to push for this. The Major was trying to hook her up with the bridge tech. Workplace relationships never go well, but Ritsuko was so desperate for companionship that wasn't Gendo, she couldn't say no if she wanted to.

Misato mouthed the words "have fun" as Ritsuko passed her in the hall with Maya all but dragging the head of Project E out of the Hospital Wing.

I'll have to get her back for this.


1610 hrs (4:10 pm) - Toho Café


Ritsuko had only been here once before and that was with Kaji. Why she accepted the invitation knowing that he was really after Misato is beyond her. This time the company was infinitely more pleasant. The café served mostly western food, and Maya had been talking about this place for some time, so it was the first place Ritsuko suggested.

As Ritsuko ate her chef salad, Maya in a typical almost kid like fashion was eating an American style cheeseburger with steak cut French fries.

"Isn't this better than the lunchroom Sempai?" Maya asked, trying to start up a conversation.

"Much better," Ritsuko agreed though her voice was kind of distant.

"You're worried about the kids," Maya pointed out.

"Can you blame me?"

"No!" Maya said quickly. "Of course not! I've taken quite a liking to the pilots too you know. Rei especially… she seems like she always needs a hug."

Ritsuko thought that sounded quite ironic considering how often Rei has needed them as of late. But she needed to change the subject; she suspected how Maya felt about her, but she needed to know for sure.

"So Maya," Ritsuko began.

"Yes?"

"How do you… really feel about me?"

There was an uncomfortable pause. Oh Kami, Maya thought nervously. Does she know about me?

Ritsuko frowned noting Maya was getting uncomfortable. "Sorry, that was inappropriate."

"No no, it's okay." Maya took a short but deep breath. "I… like you, Sempai."

"Like me?"

Kami, that sounded lame. "Yeah… I really do."

Ritsuko smiled slightly as she carefully slipped one of her feet out of its shoe.

"But how much do you like me?" she asked innocently.

Maya was about to answer when she felt Ritsuko's foot gently tracing its way up her leg. Maya decided she was going to wear her uniform skirt today, so she felt the foot glide across her pantyhose seductively and couldn't believe Ritsuko was doing this. Maya looked into Ritsuko's eyes and saw something she never saw before.

There was an amused yet seductive look in her eyes, and it was everything Maya hoped to see but never expected to find. Desire… She... feel's the same way?!

"S-Sempai?" Maya whispered as the foot traced its way up to her thigh.

"Something wrong Maya?" Ritsuko asked with a devious glint in her eye.

Maya was about to say something but she sighed in pleasure instead. She tried very hard to keep it down as she was in a public place.

"Maybe we should extend this break a little, you seem a bit overworked." At that she removed her foot and put it back in her shoe. Maya finally got her breath back.

"I-I guess so," she replied and blushed a bit. So embarrassing! I can't believe she did that!

"We should go to my apartment," Ritsuko suggested immediately making the young tech's heart beat faster. "It's a ways outside of town but I need to check on Chester anyway and you've never been to my place before right?"

"Chester?"

"My cat," she explained. Then she laughed a little. "I know, it's a western name but I like it."

"It's cute," Maya admitted, now a bit calmer. "How far out of town?"

"Usually an hour one way, but with rush hour it'll probably take longer. Don't worry about getting in trouble or anything; I'm your boss after all."

"O-Okay! We can do that then."

Ritsuko smiled. This is going to be a good day after all, she thought happily.


Class 2-A, 4:22 pm


Shinji was quite impressed with Mana's ability to get housekeeping done. Hikari protested her staying behind to help with the cleaning, but the blue-eyed girl was insistent on staying. As a result, a task that normally takes 30 minutes took only 20 with the extra helper. Hikari did thank her for the help but told the other children that were helping to not always expect an extra helper.

When the pair left the school, Hikari watched them leave. Mana had taken Shinji's hand in hers and the blushing third child of NERV seemed to enjoy the touch. Hikari sighed to herself, wondering if Touji would ever see her in that light.

Of course not, Hikari thought. He probably believes you're too good for him, or maybe not good enough.

Either thought was sad; Hikari hid a desire for the jock that could not be expressed in mere words, yet he would always be held back by some insipid reason that Hikari knew was wrong. But there was really no way to push the point across. She knew she should just confront him and tell him how she feels, but every time she thought of doing so, she couldn't do it. The thought was simply too embarrassing.

She gathered up her things and proceeded towards home but she only got about half way when a black car pulled up ahead of her. The girl stopped, wondering what this was about when the driver's side door opened and a man got out. He wore dark khaki pants, and a blue button up shirt. His face was a bit stubbly, as if he hadn't shaved in a couple of days and his brown hair was in a pony tail. His face was pleasant, but the overall look of the man-made her think he was up to no good.

As Hikari began to step back he spoke.

"Are you Hikari Horaki, Class Representative of room 2-A?"

"Who wants to know?" Hikari asked quickly.

"My name is Special Inspector Ryoji Kaji, NERV internal security." He pulled out his badge wallet and showed the girl his credentials.

"You wouldn't mind if I take a closer look at that do you?"

"Knock yourself out," he replied, never breaking his smile and held the wallet out to her. Hikari took it and examined the ID and badge closely before handing it back.

"You're almost exactly like Asuka described," she said.

"Ah, so Asuka-chan has been speaking of me," he replied with a slight chuckle. "I'm not surprised. She's been obsessed with me for some time now. She's far too young though, I'd never allow her to get close."

"I see. What do you want Inspector?"

"Well, small talk would have been okay, but I do have a job to do. I need to ask you a few questions."

"About what?"

"Who, actually. I need to ask a few questions about Mana Kirishima."

Hikari froze. "Is she in trouble?"

"Not yet," Kaji replied. "She's not suspected of anything at least. However her credentials when she moved into the city were flagged by our security office. It's probably nothing, but I have to check anyway."

"I see."

"It would be a little more comfortable in my car," he offered. "Afterward, I can drive you the rest of the way home. I know you don't live that far but it is the least I could do."

"Ok," Hikari replied flatly. She was a little curious about Kaji ever since Asuka first started talking about him. She had to admit, despite his unkempt appearance, there was a certain beauty to the man.

Hikari got into the back of Kaji's car on the passenger side while Kaji sat in the driver's seat. Once both doors were closed, Kaji pulled out a note pad and opened the questions with a small sigh.

"My questions might seem irrelevant, but they are all important I can assure you."

Hikari nodded her understanding. The man's cologne was starting to filter into the backseat. It was a pleasantly masculine scent that was almost intoxicating.

"Very good. Firstly, what is your overall opinion of Miss Kirishima?"

Hikari thought for a moment, trying to push the thoughts of Kaji himself from her mind. "She's very outgoing, smart, and thoughtful. Also, she has a good sense of humor."

Kaji nodded at the explanation. "Have you seen her do anything that would count as unusual?"

Hikari frowned a little at the question. "Like?"

"Is she always on the phone during lunch hour, or does she take frequent bathroom breaks?" he asked casually.

"No," Hikari answered truthfully. The scent of the cologne was really starting to get to her now. Something about him was putting her at ease and she couldn't figure out what it was, but it also made her feel as if she was losing control.

"Does she seem overtly engaged in class? I know your teacher tends to ignore the actual curriculum and drone on and on about pre-second impact Japan."

"Not really, she's just as bored with it as we are." What is wrong with me?

Kaji chuckled lightly at that. "She ever look uncomfortable or nervous?"

You mean like I do now? "No, never." Hikari was wondering what the point of this was. The questions he was asking made it sound like she was some kind of spy or something. And that damned scent was causing her heart to race now. She felt the blood rushing in her veins.

"Okay, last question then I can take you home. Has she taken a close interest in anyone in the class?"

Hikari paused before answering, trying to determine how best to answer the question. "I know for a fact that she and Shinji are an item now. She certainly makes no secret of it." I'd like to be your item, Kaji-sama... wait... what I am I thinking?!

"She isn't hiding the fact at all?"

"N-No," she answered slightly uneasily. She squeezed her legs together as realization told her she was spreading them apart in a very unladylike manner. She took a deep breath tried to get it together. "If you don't mind me asking, what exactly is this about? The questions are pointing towards something specific… that much I can see."

Good, focus away from him... Don't let on that you're being affected.

Kaji smiled slightly. "You are an intelligent girl… just like Asuka-chan told me." Hikari blushed at that, it almost sounded like he was flirting with her. A part of her was hoping for that. "I can't talk about it unfortunately, Miss Horaki, despite how much I'd actually love to chat further about this. I might need to speak to you about her again in the future, would you be willing?"

"O-of course," Hikari replied, perhaps a bit too quickly. "I have no intention of getting in the way of a NERV investigation."

"Thank you for that." Kaji put the car in gear and began driving. "I'm sorry to be so cloak and dagger, but it's a necessity of the job I'm afraid."

"What happens if she is some kind of spy or something… is Shinji in any real danger?"

Kaji sighed. "Honestly, I don't think so. If she is some kind of spy, her best move would be to gain his trust first. There isn't anything definitive yet, so please don't tip her off that anyone suspects anything, just in case, ok?"

Hikari nodded. "Ok." Her breathing finally came fully under her control and she relaxed a bit. She missed the slightly sinister smile on Kaji's face as she did so.

A few minutes later, as he promised, Hikari was dropped off in front of her house. She wasn't too surprised he knew exactly where she lived.

"I'll keep in touch," Kaji said to her before rolling up the window and driving off.

Hikari sighed, now worried about Mana and what her intentions for Shinji might actually be. She took a step forward towards her door and instantly stopped. Her face flushed red with embarrassment as she felt wetness in her panties, and a droplet of her own fluids threatening to race down her leg via her inner thigh.

What did he do to me?


End of Chapter IV


You can have my isolation!

You can have the hate that it brings!

You can have my absence of faith!

You can have my everything!