The Cost of Love

Chapter 4

Unknown Past

Small footsteps disturbed the silence, coming closer to a brightly lit room located at the very end of the hallway. Five children entered the room and hugged the woman, smiling brightly.

"Mom, you're going again??" the oldest kid asked with disbelief.

"Yeah…" Her answer was weak.

"Don't forget, I want presents!" The younger one added.

"If she gets presents, I want presents too!"

"Oh me too, me too!"

The woman just smiled at all of them, love radiating from her.

"How about you? What do you want, huh?" she picked the youngest kid up and swing the kid from side to side.

"It's okay. I don't need anything", the kid answered coolly, though a hint of lie was clear.

"Are you sure about that? Hmm?" the woman couldn't help but giggle at the kid's stubbornness. She was so sure that the kid had been watching the same channel on television, just to see a particular toy car.

"Yeah, I'm sure", he replied in a serious tone, turning away to avoid the woman's gaze.

"Okay then, run along. Mother needs to pack", she hugged each of them, her heart breaking to pieces each time.

The young children quickly ran from her room, except for the youngest kid. The woman turned to him, confused.

"What's up?" she smiled warmly, though it didn't reach her eyes.

"When you get back, I want another family picnic, in the park!" the kid said cheerfully, remembering the last fun picnic, long time ago.

She laughed with her soft giggles then hugged him tightly and whispered, "take care…Now, run along. Mother really needs to pack", she said in a matter-of-factly tone.

"Okay. See you mom, love you", the kid smiled brightly and dashed out of the room.

Tears suddenly ran down the woman's cheek slowly, showing emotions she had been hiding very well a moment before.


The young kid ran anxiously toward the very same room, knocking on the door eagerly.

"Mother? Mother? Mother?!"

"She's not there, young master", a soft voice came from behind the kid.

"No! I saw the presents downstairs! She must be here somewhere!" the kid was upset.

"Those arrived this morning, through the mail…" the soft voice once again spoke gently and sadly.

"No! She's here! I know it!" the kid knocked the door roughly by then, exasperated by the unmoving door and the silence from the room.

"She'll never come back", a cold voice came from the other side.

"NO!!"


Shaoran's POV

I woke up slowly, pushing my silky green bed sheets aside, freeing myself a little. I glanced to my side, finding my alarm clock neatly placed on the small table right next to my huge, king-sized bed.

7.30 AM

I got up then headed towards my bathroom. The shower was on the far end, a Jacuzzi/bath tub in the middle, and a mirror was always placed right above the table where I neatly put my comb, cologne, and such. As I headed for the shower, I glanced briefly towards the mirror, looking at my disarrayed hair -my bed head. My hair was impossible to neaten like Eriol's, heck it never been even close to what they call neat. It stuck out in all directions on my head -not that I care. I always left it messy.

I turned the shower on cold then undressed myself. I went inside the shower and shuddered as soon as the freezing cold water touched my warm skin. I needed to clear my head and this should do the job.

As my mind drifted, it subconsciously flew to my past; it is wasn't something 'perfect', like people often thought… they had no idea what I'd been through back then and it was far off from what you call 'perfect'.

I was appointed to be the future leader since I was very young and since then, I had been trained to reach that position. Back then, for children the same age as me, school was 5 days of fun. As for me? It was 7 days of torture. My schedule everyday was completely full, and it included no breaks. Just studying, learning, and practicing. When others could do A, I was trained to do A, B, and C. I was trained to be ahead of others, to be two or three steps forward, to gain more than others, and to earn more than others. When my age was fit to be elementary school, I was already learning junior high material. While others who're the same age as I was had just reached their yellow belt, I was already struggling to earn my blue belt in karate. I was always ahead of everybody, but I never liked it.

People would respect me, and praise my being ahead of them, in terms of intelligence, physical strength and maturity. But, still, they would avoid me. It was as if I was being isolated from the normal world, an alien in other's eyes.

Back then, the elders always told me to study hard as hell because they said I would soon enjoy the feeling of being powerful, having everyone below you, having people doing things under your orders, and knowing that you're the best -to simply be a leader. They always said it would be very rewarding to achieve it and it would make my family and my ancestors proud. Only now, have I realized that I've been brainwashed by them since the very start.

Like I said: I hated it. At least, at first I did. Until, one day it all finally made sense to me. Knowledge is power. If you're better than others, people would feel inferior and because of that, I felt utterly powerful.

Since then, I didn't see this duty as my obligation -something I must do for my family, rather as a challenge for myself; to make myself stronger and wiser… to become the best leader the clan has ever seen. Since then, I never regretted anything at all. I smiled to myself at this last thought, remembering the day very clearly.

And it wasn't only knowledge that I achieved after studying so hard, I achieved a lot more. After those tormenting trainings, I also learned that I had mystical powers that I could control. I could sense people's presence and I could tell what they were feeling at any given moment: sad, angry, happy, and a lot more. By training and training everyday, doing martial arts, I also found my passion to be a martial artist -as a side job, of course.

After quite a long shower, I turned it off and grabbed my towel, wrapping it around my waist. I grabbed my comb and tried to comb my messy, wet hair in front of the mirror. In the mirror I saw that my hair was still as messy as ever even after I tried to comb it, and so gave up trying to make it more decent.

I got dressed into my uniform, perfectly ironed, revealing no trace of it being folded before. I was about to leave my room, when something interesting caught my eye, before I even reached the doorknob. It was placed right next to the door, on top of my book shelves. An old toy car -that was already a little rusty- stood proud. I grabbed it absentmindedly and started examining it; I remembered how I used to love it, and how I would watch TV just to catch a glimpse of it. I couldn't believe how such an unimportant thing made me respond like that, I was just a clueless kid back then. My mind quickly flew to my mother.

Yes, my mother, the embarrassment of the family. She left when her kids still needed her attention, leaving all her duties behind. She was a weakling, running away from her problems and her obligations. If I remembered correctly, it was those times when the family started focusing on me being the new leader. It was then that the extensive studies and trainings began.

And for that, I hated my mother. She was the start of it all.

I know it may seemed childish to think that way, but it was hard not to. After she left, it was as if I'd been woken up from a nice dream, and forced to enter reality -a really tough reality.

Even so, I didn't want to throw the old toy car away… somehow I just couldn't throw it away. Something unknown inside me, was keeping me from doing so; even though I hated it. So there it had always stood, right next to my door.

After I broke off from my train of thoughts, I went outside my room and headed down stairs. I walked towards the breakfast room and saw that my father was already there, sipping his black coffee and reading the newspaper. The breakfast table was long, long enough for models to do a catwalk on it; it was to anticipate important guests. I took a seat that was located on the opposite side of where he was sitting, on the far end. We rarely ever spoke, it was just a relationship between a leader and his heir; no more, no less.

I sat silently and started to eat. Only when he heard my knife cut through the bacon, did he finally look up from his newspaper, noticing my presence. His eyes were as cold as ever, piercing mine sharply, like a policeman interrogating his suspect.

"How was school?" he asked with his business tone, cold and expressionless; his face didn't change, looking at me with curious eyes.

"Same as always", I replied, reflecting the same tone wondering whether Eriol had told him about the Japanese test.

He nodded once then went to bury his face once again into his newspaper.


Sakura's POV

"How's school nowadays, Sakura?" my dad asked me, smiling warmly, observing at how my face always changed when I picked up something different from my plate. I knew that my face must be reflecting something close to ultimate happiness or satisfactory. My dad's cooking was always the best, he could cook something simple and it would ended up tasting like it had came from a gourmet restaurant.

I ate quickly and answered, sounding really disappointed, "I still can't get Math dad…I don't get it at all! Am I mentally retarded or something?"

"No, you're not. Keep on trying, I know you'll get it." He replied "Hmmmm… How about asking your brother?"

"Ask him?! Haven't you ever met onii-chan, dad? He's the last person I want to ask! I'll ended feeling a lot worse, I know it!" my voice shook, imagining already how it would be like; being called stupid every second since I always made mistakes in Math, even simple ones.

He chuckled in response.

"Speaking of the devil, where is Touya anyway?" I asked out of curiosity.

"He woke up really early; he's going camping for a few days with his classmates."

"Oh…" I felt a sense of loneliness right away. I knew very well that I always fought with him, but when he was away, as much as I hated to admit it, I miss him. Did I really just say that? Maybe this Math dilemma was making me go berserk!

"It won't be long", I knew he sensed my feelings.

"Oh yeah, and did I tell you? There are two transfer students from Hong Kong and they're quickly becoming popular", I quickly changed the subject.

"No, you haven't told me. Who are they?"

"Eriol Hiragizawa and Shaoran Li", I told him.

"Shaoran Li?!" He was so surprised that he choked on his coffee. Wow, this Li boy must be someone important.

"Who is he anyway?" I asked, my curiosity aroused.

"Sakura…You have to read the newspaper, at least once in a while", he answered, knowing fully well that I barely touched anything that had to do with politics.

"You haven't answer my question, dad" I answered weakly, though I really wanted to know.

"He's the new heir of the Li Clan."

Seeing my blank expression, he continued, "The current leader of the Li Clan is his father. So it was sort of like a tradition that the heir had to be a pure blood. The Li Clan heads international property development companies across Asia and Australia and their main branch is in Hong Kong. They're currently one of the most successful and wealthy associations in the world. They are, in fact, the one that made Asia known internationally."

"Oh. So is he known to be, somewhat, unfriendly to people? Rude even?"

"Why would you say that?" He asked, puzzled by my question.

"Well, I've spent time with him and he hasn't been making it easy."

"Sakura, a lot of people would do anything to get close to him, to get close to his family -his wealth. It's totally necessary for him to be cautious towards other people. He can't just let people in that easily, you should understand his situation." He said softly and surely, locking his gaze to mine, signaling that he's being serious.

"That's such a hard and lonely life…" I mumbled to myself, looking at my now empty plate that was filled with scrambled eggs and bacon before, "How would he have friends thinking that some of them might use him for their own goods?"

I didn't know such life existed, not before my dad told me about it. And I thought I've had a bad one, but compared to his… mine is heaven on earth.

"What can I do, dad?" I looked up and met his eyes once again.

"What do you mean?"

"I want to be his friend. At least, I'll try to be."

"And why would you do that?" his eyes became curious.

"Because-" he reminded me of myself… "He always comes to the same place where I usually have my lunch and I kinda have to share it, since he kinda claims the place as his." I babbled and my dad laughed silently, under his breath.

"I'm being serious, dad. It's not funny! Seriously, what can I do?" I was starting to get annoyed and frustrated. How to make him see that I'm not one of those people?

He chuckled and his eyes became soft, straight against mine; then he simply smiled gently, looking proud.

"Just be your normal self, be the fun loving, warm, cheerful, and stubborn Sakura I know best. Even the coldest heart would melt looking at your smile", he said very carefully.

It's not that easy…

"Well then, I guess I better get going, thanks dad for breakfast and the advice. See you tonight", I smiled and waved him goodbye.


"Sakura!" Kai's voice finally broke Sakura's train of thoughts.

"Kinomoto!" Mr. Takeda's voice rang with fury.

Sakura looked at the board, finally brought back to the classroom, another Math class. She hadn't paid attention to her surroundings and she had no idea what Mr. Takeda had been talking about; she didn't even know why Kai and the teacher called her name until she saw a complicated Math problem straight ahead.

Oh no…

She searched inside her head, a formula, something Kai had tried to teach her, but still, absolutely nothing came up. She had no idea whatsoever about it, it didn't ring any bell.

"Well, Kinomoto?!" his voice was much scarier than usual in her ears.

Other students started glancing back, looking at her rather mockingly. Some students whispered behind her, she could hear them even though she couldn't really made out what they're saying.

"Hmm…" she hummed silently, finally finding her own voice.

"X³-5x² 23", a whisper came from her side, a voice of a savior, to her at least.

"X³-5x² 23?" she answered quickly before Mr. Takeda got the chance to yell at her. She knew it was coming since his face was furious, he absolutely loathed students that weren't listening to his teachings and it was a careless mistake of her to do that. She couldn't help it, after talking to her dad her mind had been thinking about it all day.

Mr. Takeda's expression changed significantly, all the rage gone, replaced by surprised and confusion, "That's better, and for the rest of you who didn't listen, be ready to fail your next exam" , he turned back toward the board and started writing new sets of problems, once in a while asking students for the answer randomly.

Sakura quickly turned to her side when the teacher wasn't looking, finding Kai looking back right at her.

"Thank you so much", she mouthed the words, not wanting eavesdroppers.

He grinned and whispered, "Anytime". It was not until then had she realized that his eyes were the same shade as Li's, only his were much warmer and they're smoldering on her emerald ones. Knowing that, she smiled back; truly grateful that she was in the same class as Kai's and was sitting right next to him.


"You are such a life savior!" Sakura beamed at Kai as soon as Mr. Takeda stepped out from their class.

"I know, I know", he said playfully, "You owe me your life."

"Your wish is my command", she bowed her head playfully and laughed momentarily.

"What were you thinking about anyway? I called you a few times, you didn't respond at all and don't even let me start with the seriousness expression you had on your face." He was amused.

"My mind was just somewhere else", she whispered because the Japanese teacher came in, the next class was about to start.

"That's unusual for you. You usually pay more attention than anyone I know in class." He was still looking at her, trying to read her eyes.

"You don't know that", I shook it off.

"Of course I do, I watch you every Math class", he started grinning again.

"And why would you do that? Don't you have better things to do than just watching people?" her tone became a little sarcastic.

"Your face changes simultaneously every time Takeda says something. It's absolutely hilarious!" he chuckled.

"It's not funny. It's not my fault that I'm this bad at Math" she mumbled just for Kai to hear, feeling embarrassed all the way.

After two hours of Math and an hour of Japanese, the bell finally rang, signaling it was recess. Sakura put her books back inside her backpack and took out her bento box, ready to took off.

"Where're you having your lunch?" Kai's voice was light, friendly.

"I usually just go somewhere empty, you know, away from crowds", she answered honestly.

"Do you need company?" he smiled warmly again.

"What is Kai doing with her?" whispered words were behind them, Sakura could hear the girl clearly.

"I bet he's hitting on her, but you know, he'll end up hating her in the end anyway" another was heard, coming from a boy this time and his friends roared in laughter.

"Kai, you really don't have to be so nice to me, I don't want people to gossip about you, just because of me. I'm fine, really, I'm used to it," she really meant it, she was a loner and she liked it, no matter what people said about it, her being a freak, a weirdo, whatsoever. With that, she turned away and headed to the same, usual place.

It's bad enough for him to have a lot of classes together with me, he shouldn't be mingling with me more than that.

Sakura had recently learned that Kai was one of the 'in crowds', everybody wanted to be his friend, he was friendly to everyone and it wasn't until the new school year started that his 'friends' started asking him questions about why he would talk and spend time with Sakura Kinomoto, the girl who always seemed mysterious in her own way. Of course a lot of guys liked her a lot because of her kindness and beauty but she never actually showed any preference. Most girls just thought her as a freak and a lot of guys gave up in the end. None understood her because she wasn't as friendly or as lonesome as others. Sakura Kinomoto was known as an unreadable book and therefore nobody even bothered trying to get close to her anymore because she herself never showed anything more than just plain politeness.


Shaoran was faster that day; he was there before her, leaning on the railings, sipping what Sakura thought was Coke. She slowly slipped outside and sat where she usually sat, under the shades. She knew Shaoran noticed her presence by the way his head moved a little, as if disturbed by something behind him.

She was starting to open her bento box her father packed this morning, smiling brightly when she saw the menu today, tempura. She snapped the chopstick apart and whispered a silent 'itadakimasu' and was about to dig in when a movement in front of her caught her eyes. There she saw Shaoran left his spot and was now heading toward her with his cold, tormenting eyes. It was then that she was aware about her surroundings; the place was secluded, she's completely alone with this creepy, heartless boy, nobody would hear her scream, and he was glaring at her as if he was ready to eat her alive.

Sakura's heart stopped beating. Oh no…He won't do what I think he would do, right…? Sakura looked away, avoiding his figure and his creepy gaze or glare. He was getting closer and Sakura did what she thought was best, scream.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU??" he shouted, covering his ears.

"You tell me!" she shouted back weakly, still looking away, fighting back her fears.

"Idiot!" In a split second, he threw something and landed with a thud in front of her. After that, he turned back and went to the railings again, still sipping his Coke. It was her yesterday's lunch box, she forgot about it until then. She picked it up slowly and felt the weight of it. She opened it and it hadn't changed, he didn't touch the sushi rolls. There was still four of it there with the new pair of chopsticks still like before.

"Why didn't you eat it?" Sakura found her voice back and said it loud enough for him to hear.

"I said I didn't want it!" he answered sourly.

"It's called appreciating someone's kindness", she raised her tone. She couldn't believe it, the lunch her father had made with love and care was wasted for this brat who didn't even thank her properly!

"I don't need your kindness", his spat words were icy cold to Sakura's ears.


Sakura walked or more or less stormed all the way to her classes, even after a few periods, remembering her unpleasant lunch break. Her next class was Chemistry and she didn't know anyone there, except a few of her cheerleading group who probably didn't notice her so she simply took out her Chemistry book and started scribbling what was written on the white board, paying attention to the Chemistry teacher.

She was concentrating on the subject but her mind refused to comply and flew right back to her encounter with the Li Shaoran, an unfamiliar urge suddenly came to her as she grabbed something from her bag and before she knew what it was, she had asked a permission to go to the girl's room which the teacher permitted right away. She knew from the corner of her eyes that her cheerleading group finally noticed her; she walked toward the door and closed it gently.

She headed to the stairs, going further and further up until the very same familiar, old door came to view. She opened it gently, making sure that she didn't make any screeching sound or detectable noise. Right beside the door, a figure was leaning on the wall, in deep slumber.

Missing class again, what a slack.

She put what she had taken from her bag before and laid it gently in front of him, as careful as possible so he won't wake up, for she knew that he might really beat her up right there and then if she disturbed him.

Why do you always pretend to be so strong when you're this careless, you haven't eaten again.

After glancing at him one more time, she went straight back to the door and closed it behind her slowly then went back to her class silently.


A/N: Hi everyone!! Finally, I finished chapter 4... Hope you guys like it, I know there isn't much Sakura Shaoran moments in this chapter but I will put a lot more on the next chapter and so on. I hope I can reach the climax soon (the main story) and write faster.

Again, I'm wide open for critics and suggestions. Hope you keep reading my story coz the fun part's has yet to come.

R & R please...

Emerald-winged