Disclaimer: Well, it'd certainly be nice…
Author's Notes: Summary was changed a bit. More interaction between Tsunade and Kisa before the fic moves on elsewhere. This one isn't so angsty, but might get strange, and will probably open up a lot more questions in the reader's mind.
"Forgive me, Tsunade-sama." Tsunade looked over at Kisa.
Because it seemed that Kisa had fallen asleep after her emotional release Tsunade was considering leaving her alone for a bit, but turns out that's not the case.
"Forgive you for what?"
Kisa was looking much more composed than before, though her eyes were a bit swollen from crying. "I've taken up too much of your time. And I put you in an uncomfortable position. I was able to discern that you aren't the type to mother some stranger into better well-being."
Observant this girl was. "As long as you don't spread the word, I'll be happy. I do have a reputation to maintain, you know." This brought out a short laugh from Kisa, and that make Tsunade happy.
Then Tsunade remembered something from Neji's report that he seemed a little reluctant to include, and she matched that with what she knew of Kisa now. She was hoping that it wouldn't elicit a negative response, but Kisa seemed spent now. "One of our shinobi implied that you seemed to be looking for your mother." Kisa stiffened at this, but remained focused towards Tsunade. Tsunade gave a warm look, trying to be sympathetic. "If you like, a few of our shinobi can help you find her, or even get you home."
What did she think she was doing, making a promise that she might not be able to keep?
She was getting soft. Has been getting soft since taking in Sakura as her apprentice. Hell, she's been getting soft for a long time just by agreeing to be Hokage in the first place.
Kisa gave a smile back, but one filled with sadness. "That is a very kind gesture, Tsunade-sama, and I thank you for it, but it will not be necessary at all. My mother has been dead for years."
Tsunade gasped, suddenly feeling very foolish. "But… what about…"
Kisa shook her head. "I know. I don't… I don't know what it is about that one particular fact, but as you can obviously see, I can get very confused sometimes…" Kisa looked so sad, yet accepting. Kisa chuckled, rubbing her temples at the same time. "I become very confused in times of major stress, it seems. Sometimes I forget things I should know."
That does make some sense, as the situation and post-conflict that Neji and Hinata found her in would probably qualify as said source of stress.
Tsunade suddenly had a discomforting suspicion. "And your family…?"
"Also dead and gone. Almost, anyway."
Tsunade felt a bit of horror, but then realized that it should be expected. She was also a bit relieved, knowing that her family won't come back to haunt her physically. Almost? Was that referring to her?
"And with that, as Aniki always told me, we don't have a home. We never had a home, and we never will."
Tsunade noted the fact that even though her family was dead, she still used the pronoun, 'we.'
"I only remember two of the family with any real significance. My mother and Aniki."
That's the second time she's heard Kisa mention this aniki of her's. "Were they good people?"
At this Kisa smiled. "I was still very young when Mother was around. She had the Fever like the rest of us, yet she still always remained kind and loving to me. She took care of me very well, unlike the rest of my family."
At least she had a loving mother, Tsunade mused. Was this fever she mentioned some kind of epidemic in the family? However, Tsunade didn't question more than she had to. "And your aniki?"
At this Kisa paused and looked off. She didn't look happy, but nor did she look sad. Her face was, well, rather blank.
Tsunade was concerned, thinking Kisa was going brain-dead, when Kisa's face crinkled in concentration. "Is something the matter?"
Kisa was looking slightly confused. Then she seemed to drop some matter in her mind that she didn't share, and turned to Tsunade. "It's hard." When all she got was a questioning look, she continued. "It's hard to accurately describe Aniki in a way that you would understand. He was… everything that the family was, yet wasn't."
She left her to continue, and Kisa's eyes went unfocused and drifting again. "Was he a kind man? He seemed kind, but sometimes he seemed crueler than Doctor. But he never did us harm. No, he loved us. But did he really? Always was he there to help, but never with love on his face. Perhaps he hated us, but no, he was a man above something like hate. Maybe he was above love, too. It was never just we, either. He treated everyone equally. He treated everyone with equal discrimination was the truth. But that made him equally fair. But he never judged anyone. He was just… always there." A bit of focus came back to her eyes and she shook her head slightly in mild frustration. "I guess some of that doesn't make sense, but I speak the truth. Aniki was everything the family was and would be, but never could be. He was our warrior… our prophet… our scholar… our architect… our elder, and our youth. He was a hero, but one none of us acknowledged. He incited both joy and horror in equal amounts regularly. He was all that, but he chose none and became none. He simply existed, but we never looked his way. Some of us were even convinced that he wasn't real, only another vision of our minds. But I know he's real, because I also knew him as my brother, my Aniki. He touched me. And he saved me."
…Okay…
All Tsunade could do was look strangely at Kisa, at that blank and reverent expression on Kisa's face as she transformed into a new, very different, very abstract personality. As if she were speaking to her own personal God. She couldn't help but think that maybe this Aniki was some sort of propaganda that was indoctrinated into her, and perhaps her whole family. It didn't seem very healthy for one's psyche, in Tsunade's opinion. She didn't quite know what to make of it, especially when Kisa broke into a very uncharacteristic girlish giggle.
"He was very popular with the girls, too."
Uh…huh….
Bizarre.
Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, Kisa was back to her calm, collected self. "But like all of us, he was guilty of terrible sins. And I know that perhaps his are the most terrible of them all. But he did our family incredible good. It's what I believe. I have to believe it. If I don't, then that would make him nothing more than a heartless, soulless, indiscriminate monster, which makes my mother a monster, which makes my family monsters, which would make me the exact same kind of monster." Tsunade thought about that. Kisa then looked up at Tsunade with a sad smile and inquiring eyes. "Am I a monster?"
Tsunade was silent. She didn't understand all the underlying things that she said, but she knew that Kisa was just an unfortunate girl who was very sick in the head. Nothing like this monster that she described. Tsunade only shook her head. "Don't think of yourself as some monster, Kisa, because you're not. Now, I don't know anything about what happened to you or your family, or what they were like, but you personally are no monster."
Kisa only looked like she half-believed her, but she nodded her head in confirmation anyway.
There was an awkward silence between them for a while, until Kisa asked, "When will I be allowed to leave?"
Tsunade considered something. "You only need to rest in the hospital for a few more days, but-"
"May I stay here a while?"
Tsunade had a slight grin. What, did this girl read minds? Suspicious the girl might seem, Tsunade was convinced that she has been sincere up to this point. She turned to Kisa with a smile. "I really can't turn you away from our village after our chat. And since there seem to be missing-nins after you, I think it's best to keep you in Konoha for a while anyway, to keep you safe."
Kisa seemed to consider this as she looked to Tsunade. Then she spoke.
"Will you make me fight?"
Tsunade looked at her in surprise, but immediately understood. Kisa didn't say, "But won't I be imposing on you?" or "Will you be able to keep me safe?" She said, "Will you make me fight?"
It made sense, really, from the angle Kisa was coming from. On this, Tsunade was firm. Definitely not. "No. I will not push you to fight at all. I am not asking you to become one of our shinobi. I'm simply offering you a home, if that's fine with you."
Home. That word seems like a mild trigger in Kisa's mind, because she looked a lot calmer and happier once Tsunade said that.
"As Hokage, I'll what I can do to accommodate you, but don't think I'm going to spoil you. It won't be fair for the other citizens and shinobi. What I will encourage you to do, however, is to open up a little and socialize with our shinobi. They're all good people, and I have no doubt that they will treat you kindly." They had damn better, Tsunade mused. "Also, whenever you see the reason, you have every right to leave the village and I won't stop you. But if ever you plan to leave, I want you to first let me know so I can be made aware, okay?"
Kisa never experienced much happiness in her life, but this would qualify as one of her happier moments. She was more than eager to live here for a little while. That's one of the few things she ever wanted in life, really. To settle down peacefully as her own individual.
Kisa did not need a hug or further affection from Tsunade. She just gave a bright and happy smile that showed her youth, and that's all the confirmation Tsunade needed.
Some time later in her office, Tsunade realized the scope of what exactly she promised Kisa, and the potential danger she may have put Konoha in. Most of the shinobi would probably not have a major problem having Kisa around, but there was the concern of her being hunted. No doubt that the people looking for her will trace her to Konoha. And when that happens, what if they try to take her again? And what if more powerful people end up coming after her, like the Akatsuki, or even Orochimaru.
Tsunade shuddered at the thought of Kisa being in Orochimaru's clutches.
Well, it's best she not worry more than she has to right now. Tsunade will put all her jounin patrols on higher alert to prevent infiltration. If enemies come with force, Konoha will deal with it then and there. She knows the strengths of all her shinobi and she is proud of all of them, and there is no doubt in her mind that they can hold off an attack if necessary.
Many shinobi were out of Konoha for missions, but she may have to gather them and speak to all of them about this sometime in the near future. Affectionate or not, Tsunade is not going to baby-sit Kisa 24/7.
Author's Notes: That ends the first arc (the first main plotline) of my story, and now the focus will be moving elsewhere for now. The next two chapters will be action-packed with new POV's and a distinctly different kind of mood, so pleasedon't be offended.
