CHAPTER FIVE:

The always genteel Aro took my notice of leaving seemingly well, but I could sense easily from all three of the eerie vampires that they thought that my quest for conquering human thirst would fail. But I couldn't give up. I wouldn't. So I went from Italy with excessive knowledge and a heavy, frozen heart. I traveled everywhere you could think of. The world suddenly became such a small place when you had endless time to explore it. I decided on England as my semi-permanent residence, as I felt an impulse towards my motherland. But I still wanted to know more, I wanted to use my abilities to explore the lands humans had not the skill to explore. I swam around looking, and smelling for new and interesting scents or lands. I found many places not many were notable, I came across many vampires, but the ones that I had the most friendship with was a wild coven from a tropical land I came across. They were far from civilized, but they were interesting people. Their skin was dark which had an odd effect on the 'vampire skin'. Of course they were red eyed. But they were kind towards me. Their names were Kachiri, Senna, and Zafrina. Zafrina could do a wondrous thing, she could create some sort of illusion of making you see things that weren't there, temporarily blinding you. The vampire world came up with many surprise such as this for example, another vampire I came across, Benjamin, could manipulate the elements. It was truly astounding what talents and gifts there were. I traveled eastward, with no particular destination in mind. The east was dense with forest, it simply felt like I was in an endless wilderness with the occasional tribal village. It was vampire heaven and human hell. One day I was hunting a tiger near a river. I pounced, and finished my meal as neatly as I was able and went to wash my clothes, in case I came upon any villagers. When I was coming out from the bank, I saw a villager woman staring at me in awe. She was quite short, with silky black hair flowing down her rustic clothes. Her eyes formed perfect little almonds. Her mouth frozen in a pretty 'o'. This was why I had studied every language known to both vampire and man.

" Hello" I said in one of the eastern languages Aro, Marcus, and Caius had taught me. She seemed to comprehend.

"Don't be scared of me, I mean no harm. I was just washing in the river here" I continued interrupting her gawking.

"You're...strange...I...Are you god or ghost?" she stammered in a fairly similar language to what I had been speaking. I still after all these years hated it when humans would sit like a rat in a snakes glare when I encountered them. It made them only seem all the more vulnerable to me, all the more tempting as her pulse beat through her skin, and her heart thudded.

"Neither my lady." I said with the best attempt at a reassuring smile. She looked at me, her expression turning from awe to confusion, to determination. What conclusion would she come to? Had she possibly ever even seen a European pass through here, let alone a vampire?

"Come with me. Now." She ordered.

"Now...I really must get going..." I said. I didn't revel in the idea of being presented to a village of mortals. I wasn't thirsty but still I had only about a decade's practice.

"No. Come. Chief needs to record you. I have to report any strangers. Tribe custom." she said. How ironic that she was trying to comfort me. She motioned for me to follow and walked into the trees. I knew she was not vampire, but her grace was astounding. And as I looked past the strong, and warm scent she gave off, I saw that she was rather beautiful. Naturally not in the unnatural way of a vampire. I followed finding myself awed at this woman, now instead of the other way around.

The village she led me to was fairly similar to the ones I had passed. Small huts made of leaves, and dirt grounds. The woman ran into a nearby hut, then reappeared with an elderly man whose expression was all concern.

"White man." He declared with a slight anger in his voice. He made a motion to the men gathered behind him, seeming quite angered at me.

"NO!" the woman screamed. I looked at her in alarm. She spoke so rapidly to the man who I assumed was 'Chief' that I really couldn't understand. Every now and again words like "unjust" , "kind", "law" and "religion" came out. Finally the Chief nodded and she turned to me and smiled, motioning for me to come. I followed her back out to the woods. Again I marveled at her. She really was beautiful, but I wanted to move on. I knew I couldn't grow attached to humans, and I just wanted to put myself out of the way of temptation. I was so empty and companion less, especially after leaving Volterra.

"I apologize for that" she said when we were a considerable distance into the jungle. "But I couldn't let him go against my religion. I just couldn't believe he was about to kill you! I just joined this tribe you see, and they are so bloodthirsty." I hid my grimace at the word 'bloodthirsty' and then reassured her.

"It is fine my lady. What is your name?" I asked, with a unjustified interest in the poor woman.

"Chiori, sir. And yours? Where is it you are from? I must admit I have never seen one like you. I have seen those with white skin, but not like you." she said, a small amount of her previous awe entering her voice.

"Carlisle. I'm from a place called England, it lies in the westward." I suddenly remembered that she had saved my life, well she thought she had anyway. So I should thank her, "I thank you for stopping him from killing me"

"Oh. Your welcome sir." she smiled beautifully at me.

After that I tried again and again to leave. But Chiori never let me. She insisted I stay at the village, and I wasn't going to be so rude as to run away. Maybe I was deceiving myself subconsciously. Maybe I deliberately stayed with her. For companionship. I was there too long. Much longer than a month. Another drawing to staying was that Chiori knew so much about the medicine that could be gotten from plants in this land. Me and her would go out every day and she would show me plants that could cure infections, juice that could help coughs. I grew attached to her. She was so interesting, and beautiful. She was such a great companion, always happy. And she didn't even know of vampires. One night I was fake sleeping in a hammock, when she came up to me , and motioned me to come. When we were at a spot we regularly visited, by the river she stopped and sat down and motioned for me to do the same.

"I think I shall leave tomorrow" I said. As I had said many times.

"No you will not. You have to stay" she said, turning to me. The moonlight was shining on her smooth skin, and her eyes stared into mine, and I wondered what she would see there in the gold.

"I like you" she whispered. I wanted to say I did too. I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted to hold her and be able to without even considering my thirst. I wanted to be human for her. I wanted the world and more for her. With those three words she had stripped away whatever lies I had been telling myself. I was falling in love with her, with a human. The lion falling in love with the lamb. I hated myself for this, for letting this happen. I couldn't do this to her. I knew she would grow suspicious one day. I knew one day she would die. I might even eat her. How appalling.

"Chiori. I..." was all I managed. Which was surprising since I was usually very quick with words. But what words could I use to make this right. Without lying. Without telling the truth. Suddenly she leaned toward me. The wind blew her scent even more my way and I tensed, but she didn't stop. And then our lips collided. The thirst and the lust, and yes unfortunately the love boiled up in me and I couldn't really help myself from kissing back. I could feel her all around me. Part of mind wondered if she even noticed my cold skin. After a few endless seconds, of me tensing and relaxing on and off she pulled away and stared at me. Most of me was ecstatic with the feeling I assumed was love. I didn't know. I had never experienced anything like this even in my human lifetime. Part of me was amazed at myself for controlling myself. I hadn't bit her!

"See? Now you know why you're going to stay." she laughed. I smiled back. But her words triggered an immense sadness. I was going to leave. I had to.

"No. I still must leave-" I started, to try and explain something I didn't even know myself.

"Then I'll come. Carlisle I like you immensely. Surely that has occurred to you."

"I..."

"Shh!"

"But..."

"NO! Shh!"

"Chiori..."

"You know I'm right. You feel it to." she said slightly irritated.

"Yes" I resigned with a sigh. More than you can imagine I thought. I wanted to things. To be with her. And to protect her and myself. The two desires were impossible to reconcile.

"Now. You are staying?" she asked me.

"I can't Chiori, I'm a...I mean..." How close I kept coming to just telling the truth! What would she think? Would she think me a monster? Would her previous attraction turn abruptly to disgust? I couldn't bear the thought.

"Hush. Carlisle." she kissed me gently and quickly again, and that simple kiss brought on the wave of scent and feeling again. The scent reminded me of why I wanted to leave. The feeling reminded me of why I wanted to stay. Of all the things I had ended up showing tonight, there was still one I could never tell her. I was hopelessly in love with her. I would love her literally endlessly, but for that reason I should hurt her to save her from my love.

"I'm going to go back. See you at dawn" she said, and left striding gracefully away.

I stayed and sat there. A thousand times I decided to leave, a thousand times I decided to stay.

By morning I was still sitting there. I was sitting there when Chiori came to find me.

"You didn't sleep here?! Well come on! Today we should go to the mountains again"

Her bubbly spirit lifted me out of my apathetic mood despite myself. I couldn't believe the effect she had on me. I spent the day with Chiori in the mountains going over the plants I had already memorized. But it was still beautiful because she was there.

That night, around twilight I looked at the setting sun and made me decision. I thought of the days I'd had to hide in the trees away from the sun. I thought of the times she might just have seen a glimpse of my strange sunlit skin. And I knew that my world and her world were worlds that didn't coexist. I spent the evening in pain as I wrote out a letter to her on one of the leaves the tribe used for writing and ink from one of the plants.

Dear Chiori. I want you to know, that I do indeed love you also. Keep that in mind as you discover my empty place, and read this letter. I would love you endlessly. I will be keeping you with me forever. I love you But I cannot stay with you. There are things that you don't know, and most definitely shouldn't know. Things from my world. You are just like an angel. I'm a demon. The past months have been heaven, and this decision is hell, but I'm separating from you in body only. Keep me in mind. I'll keep you in heart.

Carlisle

Please Review. 2 seconds of your time in exchange for the hours it takes for me to write this. Even if it is bad. I need it to get better right? So Review. And keep tuned ha ha.

Author note: I apologize for stepping slightly out of character in this chapter. I realize that Carlisle wouldn't have fallen in love before Esme. I just can't help myself. I'm kinda a romantic and I won't be doing when Carlisle meets Esme... bear with me. Its all out of my system now I think I have every detail mentioned in the 4 books but if you see I contradict one tell me because I hate changing Stephenie's story.