Reviews still = love and fuel my inspiration.
Disclaimer: I still own nothing other than my own thoughts. :0)
Stephanie (lionphantom), this is for you.
Author's Note: First of let me offer you my sincerest apologies! I've been busy with things in the real world and haven't had time to update. Seeing that things have stayed kind of busy, I thought that I would post Chapter 4 in pieces. What you're about to read is part one. Keep in mind since I'm doing it this way, there will be a few more twists and turns thrown into the mix. While parts may break your heart, I can assure you that happy days will be here again very soon.
Also, if you'd like to pester me to update or stalk me on Tumblr, you may do so at .com (copy and paste). When things are slow and I'm unable to post, I may start posting a few spoilers or fun facts about the story (for those interested). Also, I'd love to get to know the people reading. If you have any questions/comments/etc., Tumblr is the easiest means of contact.
Now, back to the story. I'm not sure how many parts Chapter 4 will be composed of, but I'm thinking at least three. Chapter 5 WILL be a full chapter. I'm hoping that this is the only time that I'll have to update in segments. (Again, I apologize for the length.)
Some of you have mentioned in the comments wanting to know Blaine's side of the story. I plan on getting there very soon, but for the time being, I want to focus on the little enigma that is Kurt Hummel. Soon we'll get to open Mr. Anderson's puzzle box. :0)
That being said...enjoy!
Chapter 4 Pt. 1: Sometimes It's Hard to Keep on Running
As the school day faded away, Kurt found himself in the parking lot at 3:30pm thinking about the one person he couldn't seem to get out of his head: his new English teacher…or as Mercedes had taken to calling him, Professor Sexy.
Smiling a little to himself, he pulled his day planner out of his satchel, preparing to pencil in his "date" with Blaine. Blaine. He sighed at the mere thought of his name. The man's voice alone made him swoon. However, when he saw the current page, his body evoked a completely different emotion. Tears began to sting his eyes.
In all of his joy, his celebration, his rapture, he had forgotten what day it was. There would be no secret classroom rendezvous nor would there be any coffee because tomorrow was Saturday and as it had been every single week for his entire school career, no classes were held on the weekends. He couldn't help but wonder if his teacher had realized this when he they made their plans. Kurt's urge to cry hit him harder than ever.
Had Mr. Anderson known full and well that there would be no meeting and simply chose to tell Kurt what he thought he might have liked to hear to get him out of his hair? "Maybe I am just a student to him," thought the countertenor, wiping the wetness from his cheeks before reaching for the tissues in his console.
His heart was breaking and he didn't even know why. "I'm just a stupid little boy…that's all I've ever been and that's all I'm ever going to be. Just a sad, ignorant child desperately wanting someone to love me, but it's never going to happen. I'll never be good enough!"
All Kurt had ever wanted was to love someone and have that person love him wholeheartedly in return. He knew he was different and that the odds were against him and, at times, his happiness. Sometimes, it just got to be too much for him. As much as he wanted to be strong for himself and the people around him that expected nothing less of him, he just couldn't do it anymore…not for the time being anyway.
Falling against the steering wheel upset and broken, he let his tears fall freely, not caring who might have been around to see him in his sorry state.
After a few minutes, Kurt tried to pull himself together. His father had always told him not to drive while he was upset and considering that he had never been in an accident, the countertenor didn't want to give himself or the universe a reason to change things now.
The songbird glanced into his visor mirror, lightly dabbing underneath his eyes with a tissue when he saw him. There, coming out of the Honors Hallway exit, was Mr. Anderson. Kurt watched as he walked through the lot to designated teacher parking, debating whether or not to get out of his SUV.
Remaining in his seat, the boy kept his eyes on the slightly older gentleman, never letting them leave his figure as he unlocked the car, tossed his satchel into the passenger seat, and finally got in, closing the door behind him.
"Notice me," Kurt said aloud as he heard the car's engine turn over. "Notice me…Please Blaine…I'm right here…" Tears began to fill his eyes once more as the silver Audi pulled out of the parking lot.
