A/N – Sorry for the delay in this chapter. I had to post the epilogue of Forbidden before I could write anymore of Leah's story.
Chapter Prologue
In recent history, there have only been three wolves that didn't fully embrace their wolf side.
Sam never wanted to be a wolf. The fact that he had to go through his first time phasing by himself without any help or guidance from anyone was horrifying for him. Especially when he later found out that the Elders had read the signs of his changing before he ever became a wolf and never gave him a warning. Sam ended up suffering two weeks of hell by himself, unable to phase back, because he didn't know what was going on. I think to this day, he's still scarred by that experience. The only joy Sam ever found in being a wolf was imprinting on Emily.
Same thing with Jacob. Jake never wanted to be a wolf. He fought against his fate, the pack, and mostly Sam. It took once glance into the eyes of my favorite little mutant, before he became truly grateful for the curse he was given. Thanks to his inner wolf, he's going to be able to live an immortal existence with his imprint by his side. (Oh and don't read anything into me calling Renesmee a mutant. It's a term of affection, pure and simple. I love that little shit though I'd never admit it, and if you ever repeat what I said to anyone, I'll deny it.)
And then there was me. I hated being a wolf. From the moment it happened, I hated every single second of it. Well…I take that back. I liked being Jacob's beta. You can bet your sweet ass I rubbed that fact into everyone's face. Especially when Quil and Embry joined our pack. Being named Jacob's second meant the world to me and gave me back some much needed confidence that I'd lost after Sam imprinted.
But on the flip side, there were two wolves who embraced being a wolf like no one's business.
Quil Ateara loved being a wolf. Before he first phased, Jake and Embry had avoided him as they were in the pack and he wasn't. They had to remain distant to protect him. When Quil became a wolf, he got his boys back. And then he imprinted on my cousin Claire, so yeah, things worked out well for him.
The other pack member who happily accepted his wolfiness was my brother Seth. Seth and I phased on the same day. What are the chances, right? In a nutshell, I overheard my dad tell my mom that Sam and Emily had gotten engaged. I fucking lost it, phased right in the house, lunged at my dad, and Seth phased to stop me. And thus, two new wolves were created in one day.
I love my brother dearly, and I've always been grateful that he was there to stop me from physically attacking my parents that day. I'd say that if Seth had one major fault when we were younger, it was that he was always so annoyingly happy. I mean, how many idiots do you know who'd willingly hang out with vampires and become "friends" with them? When our mother married Charlie Swan, Seth had been over the moon because that meant Edward Cullen, his BFF, was now his stepbrother-in-law. I'd personally found having bloodsuckers in the family revolting, but not good ole Seth.
Now don't get me wrong. Seth isn't the same guy he was when he was a kid. Sometimes I really miss the sweet, naïve person he once was. But three things changed Seth into what he is today.
First was when Sam dumped me. Seth had been heartbroken because he'd really looked up to Sam. They'd been closer than brothers. Seth had been infuriated on my behalf when Emily moved in with my ex. For awhile, Seth had refused to have anything to do with her. Of course, he got over that quickly enough once he saw how Emily had been injured through Sam's eyes.
Losing our dad had been another major blow, especially after it happened months after my breakup. And yet, Seth continued to keep his upbeat spirit. I really loved him for that. He kept me up when I wanted to feel so down.
You know what finally broke him? If you look at the Seth of today, and the Seth of his youth, you would find two very different guys. Not because he grew up or matured or anything like that. Nope, something happened to Seth. Something that was drastic enough to alter him to what he is now.
What could have happened, right?
Basically…Seth imprinted and had made the horrifying mistake of falling in love with someone else beforehand. You see, he had fallen for Jared and Kim Becknell's daughter, Hayley. They had secretly dated the year before she turned 18. Once she became of age, Seth proposed. He figured that Clearwaters couldn't imprint because neither of us had at that point, and he'd been an active wolf for years. He'd just announced his engagement to Embry Call and his wife Rebecca when Embry's sister, Kayla Marie, had shown up. Seth had taken one look at her and he was a goner.
The imprint was messy, for more reasons than anyone could have fathomed. It caused rifts between friends and devastating heartache. It caused awkwardness within our own family. Not only that, but Seth was firmly thrown into the shoes of the person he had at one time deeply resented…Sam.
Seth had to do to Hayley what Sam had done to me. He dumped her for his imprint.
It was a bitter pill for him to swallow, although he knew it was for the best. Hayley deserved to find her own soul mate. Then once Seth had ended it with Hayley, he'd found out that Kayla Marie was dating someone at college and the relationship was serious. Like I said before, the situation was very Jerry Springer.
You know, sometimes I wish I could go back in time and see the Seth of the past. I didn't even realize how much I took his happy-go-lucky attitude for granted until it was gone. I still catch glimpses of it from time to time and it fills me with hope. And then, the haunted look returns to his eyes.
Now is he a miserable excuse for a human being? No, but he's just…different.
I wish there was some way I could take away all the pain he went through. We'd always protected each other. I can't help but think that sometimes I failed him.
Because believe it or not, my little brother saved me…in more ways than I could have ever believed…
Chapter 4 – Seth
Leah's POV
I finished marking the cans of beans and asked myself for the millionth time what the fuck was I still doing in La Push. All my friends had gone away to college. But not me. Nope, I stayed behind to work in my dad's piece of shit store. My parents had both tried to talk me into going away to school but I'd refused. Last time I went away, my whore of a cousin and bastard ex-boyfriend hooked up behind my back.
And I stayed behind like a friggin moron in hopes that I would see their relationship burst into flames. When it did, I envisioned Sam crawling back to me on his knees and begging me for forgiveness. And while he was on his knees, I planned on kicking him in the mouth as hard as I could until his teeth fell out.
I waited for that moment to happen. I expected it in fact. Nine months after they had moved in together and I was still waiting. Instead of them pulling apart as I assumed was inevitable, they seemed to be getting closer. In fact, the few times that I saw them together they'd seemed disgustingly happy.
It was eerie how they acted around each other. Their bodies were in perfect sync with each other. Emily moved and Sam was right there moving with her. And the way he looked at her. It stabbed me in the heart like a thousand poisoned darts every time I saw that stupid, awestruck expression he seemed to have whenever he stared at Emily.
I hated them. I hated what they did to me. If they both died tomorrow I would spit on their fucking graves.
Even as I had that thought though, my stomach twisted painfully. As much as it killed me to admit it, I missed Emily. She had been one of my closest friends…my sister for Christ's sake. How could she do it?
That was the thought I couldn't wrap my mind around. What the hell would possess Emily to betray me like she had? Emily wasn't a vindictive, evil person by nature. Even at times when I tried to convince myself that she had always been secretly jealous of me, I knew it wasn't true. She had been upset on my behalf when Sam had dumped me. That's why I didn't understand how she could turn her back on me and our relationship for Sam, a guy she barely even knew.
I mean, where the hell was he when she was injured by that bear? Did he even try to stop it from attacking her, or did he run off like a coward? And why did she move in with him immediately after she got out of the hospital? My dad said that Sam had been nearly suicidal. Sorry, but why would you want to be around someone who could possibly kill himself at any moment?
And when the fuck did Sam turn into such a whack job anyway? From what I saw of his behavior before Emily's injury, he pretty much stalked her. I remember catching him staring at her from the woods near our house before I went off to California. Then Seth told me about all the times Sam came into the store when Emily was working there (though she had quit as soon as she moved in with the lunatic). I even remembered seeing him once, pacing near the woods of the hospital when Emily was still in it. He'd look deranged, his eyes wild like a man possessed. Never in all the time that I had known Sam had I ever seen him look or act like he had when Emily had been hurt. Maybe his craziness had even started before then. Ever since he had disappeared for those two weeks, it was like he'd had a personality transplant.
Going by the weird behavior he was exhibiting, I was convinced now that he was in fact on drugs. I had tried to talk to my dad about it, but he assured me that Sam wasn't into that scene. Hell, I even tried to talk to Sam's mom Dorothy about it, but she became instantly offended and said she raised her son better than that. From what I saw of Dorothy though, she was confused by Sam's sudden switch of affection from me to Emily. Although she seemed to adore Emily.
Who didn't? The girl was a fucking saint. Ask anyone. That's why my own freaking father defended her so vigorously whenever I tried to badmouth her.
"Hey Leah," Seth called out, interrupting my thoughts. I looked up with a frown as my brother entered the store. "You wanna go to the movies tonight? Saw is playing. Nothing like a nice slasher to cheer you up."
"What is this? Saw, part 20?" I asked dryly, rolling my eyes.
"Yeah, okay, the movies are stupid," Seth conceded. "Well, how about a game of Scrabble later?"
"Scrabble? What are you, a 70-year-old woman?"
"Fine." Seth threw his hands up in disgust. "Stay here and be miserable cause that seems to be working out well for you."
Seth sulked out of the store and I sighed. I loved Seth dearly but I was going to seriously hit him over the head if he didn't give up on his campaign to cheer me up. I wanted to be depressed, thank you very much. Why couldn't he just accept that?
My dad walked in from the back storage room carrying another box of cans for me to mark. God, I hated my life. I really was becoming a pathetic loser. The highlight of my day was getting to bust out my sticker gun and put price tags on items.
I looked up as Embry Call walked into the store. My eyes instantly narrowed in annoyance. He was one of Sam's disciples. He and Jacob Black had started hanging out with Sam a couple of months ago. I despised Embry by association.
"Embry," my dad said cheerfully. "How are you?"
"Fine, Mr. Clearwater," Embry replied politely.
My dad sighed. "You know you can call me Harry."
"Ah, sure," Embry replied awkwardly, going over to grab a two-liter of soda pop and three bags of chips. I went to ring him up when he brought his purchases to the counter, but my dad waved him away.
"Don't worry about it," my dad said.
"No, that's okay, I can pay," Embry replied.
"I insist," my dad responded. He pushed the items towards Embry. "Take it, it's okay."
Embry looked from me to my father, his cheeks turning red. He was for the most part a pretty quiet guy who didn't like to draw attention to himself. Though around people he knew, he was a sarcastic shit and had the mouth of a sailor.
"Umm, thanks," Embry said, quickly grabbing the items and leaving the store.
"What was that about?" I asked when he disappeared.
"What do you mean?" My father questioned, not making eye contact.
"Why do you always give Embry free stuff?" I wondered.
"I don't always give him things," My father replied. "Besides, he's a good kid who helps out a lot on the rez."
"Either that or you take the role of Elder too seriously," I joked. "I get that he's fatherless and all, but he's almost an adult. I don't think he needs you looking out for him anymore."
The Elders always seemed to keep an eye on Embry. Quil Sr. and Billy Black welcomed him into their families and my dad had been giving Embry free stuff for as long as I could remember.
"He's not fatherless," my dad said tightly. "And I don't mind looking after one of our own."
"Umm, okay. I thought his lack of a father all his life meant that he was missing one half of his parental unit, but whatever. And why should you look after him? It's not like he's your responsibility," I said sarcastically. I was about to add more, but my dad's face was turning a strange purple color.
"Dad, are you okay?" I asked. I was worried about him. The doctor told him he needed to watch his diet and reduce stress because his cholesterol was too high.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he said in tired tone. "Listen, it's closing time. Why don't you take off for awhile? I'll lock up."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah," my dad replied.
I didn't need a second offer. I headed to the beach which was my custom lately. The cold air felt good against my hot skin. I was always so freaking hot anymore. I didn't even need a coat and it was March.
My winter coat didn't fit me anyway. I'd reached some freak growth spurt over the past few months. I developed muscles without even trying. They pissed me off actually. I didn't want to look like a boy. I felt so unattractive and unfeminine lately. I also worried that I had caught some disease from Sam. He had shown the same symptoms before he went psycho. What's sad is that I actually relished the idea. It gave me something else to blame him for. Sighing, I headed back to the house, and of course I ran into my brother.
"Okay," Seth said cheerfully. "We can go see a chick flick. How about that?"
"Seth, I don't want to go to the stupid movies, okay?" I snapped, getting so frustrated by his annoying persistence that I wanted to rip his head off.
My hands began to shake angrily. Somewhere in the back of my head, I registered that I was overreacting, but I couldn't seem to control the fury that I was feeling. I headed towards the kitchen to see if dinner was ready.
That was another issue. I wanted to eat all the friggin time. I thought I was going to have to make an appointment to see a doctor. I hoped that if I did get some kind of disease from Sam, he was kind enough to share it with Emily too.
"This is going to kill Leah," I heard my mother say and I stopped before entering the kitchen.
"I don't think we should tell her," my dad replied.
"Harry, hiding Sam and Emily's engagement is ridiculous," my mother replied and I froze. "I can't believe Emily would do this to her cousin. How long have you known about this?"
"They love each other, sweetheart. They're meant to be together," my father defended. "And Sam told me a couple of months ago."
My shaking got worse. I walked into the doorframe of the room and stared at my father as hurt and betrayal ripped through me. I felt suddenly out of control. My father had kept Sam and Emily's engagement from me. He'd known for months. He thought they belonged together.
Heat like I never felt before flew down my spine painfully. I began to grow, my clothes falling to shreds around my feet. My skin felt like it was being ripped away and before I knew it, I was on all fours. A furious growl escaped me. Somewhere in the back of my mind I realized it wasn't human, but I didn't care. All I could think about was the pain.
I wanted to hurt my father. I wanted to make him experience the hell I had been going through. My own fucking father! I lunged at him, but before I could make contact, something hard and large slammed me into the wall, causing me to bust through it partially. I looked over, ready to instantly defend myself and saw a sandy colored wolf staring back. What the fuck was going on? I looked down at my hands and saw light grey paws. I screamed and a horrible howl came out. My mother covered her ears before running to the door and opening it. My father ran to the phone. His face looked pale and clammy.
"Sam," my father said weakly. I growled, about to lunge at him again, but Seth pushed me out the door with his head. I barely got through the frame.
"Seth…Leah…" I heard my father say and through Seth's eyes, I saw my father collapse to the floor, clutching his arm. My mom began to scream.
I ran to the woods, my mind not taking anything in. Seth followed close behind. The sounds of our paws hit the forest floor.
The sound of our paws?
Had I finally had a breakdown? Did the news of Sam's engagement finally send me over the edge? Pain swarmed me. All I could think about was that Sam was engaged. The thought echoed over and over again in my head even as Seth's thoughts filled me with worry over our father.
And then I felt the presence of others inside my brain. It was as though someone was reading my mind. Though I didn't know how it was possible, I knew Sam was in my head.
Just to make sure, I asked, "Sam?"
"Seth, Leah, we're on our way."
We were suddenly surrounded by five wolves. I looked at each one in turn. The first was a gray wolf with two dark spots on his back.
"Embry," a voice whispered and my eyes widened in horror as I stared at the wolf. Could we really hear each others' thoughts? It wasn't just my imagination?
The next one was brown and I knew it was Jared Becknell. A silvery gray wolf was looking at me with what I could only describe as a sneer…Paul Wakeh. Then there was a russet colored wolf. He was one of the largest in the pack. I knew instantly that he was Jacob Black. My eyes finally settled on the largest wolf…the one I didn't want to look at. Sam was completely black, which was pretty fitting considering his dark soul. I realized he was in shock. Through his mind, I saw me in my current state.
"I'm a wolf?" I asked, still trying to deny what my mind already knew.
"What the hell do you think just happened?" Paul sneered.
"Shut up Paul," Sam ordered before looking at Seth and me. Quietly, he said,
"Explain what just happened to you."
I couldn't process anything so Seth filled in the blanks. To my humiliation, he relived the fact that I'd almost killed my parents when I found out Sam was engaged. I was suddenly slammed with a feeling of guilt from my ex. Once Seth got done explaining what happened, Sam began to explain the legends to us. Seth began to calm down once he realized what we were. I, on the other, freaked out even more.
"So I'm a fucking wolf? Not just any wolf, but the only female wolf known in our history?
I'm a freak among freaks?" I yelled, before my mind processed another thought. "Is this why you dumped me? Because you were a wolf?"
An image suddenly popped in Sam's head. It was of the first time he saw Emily. I could feel the connection he felt to her. I saw how as soon as he laid eyes on her, she became his gravity, the only thing keeping him alive. Sam went on to tell us about imprinting. Every word he spoke was like a knife puncturing my heart. Imprinting was a wolf's way of finding his soul mate, the one he was truly meant to be with. For Sam, his destiny was with Emily.
I felt sick. Sam didn't seem to pick up on my anguish. He was too busy showing me how I had gone blurry to him after he'd imprinted. He was wondering to himself if I'd be in focus now that I was in his pack.
"I don't want to be part of a pack. I don't want to be anywhere near you, Sam Uley," I cried as dozens of memories flashed through my brain like a broken recording. I thought about his promises of loving me forever, of our going on dates, of having sex for the first time.
"Oh sick, please stop Leah," Seth begged.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to think that." I was completely mortified.
"Dude, I never want to see you like that again," Jared muttered to Sam. I ignored him.
"So you could tell Emily all about this wolf thing, but you couldn't tell me, right?" I asked Sam.
"I can tell my imprint anything," he replied simply and again I was doused in another wave of his feelings for Emily.
"So you had no choice?" Seth questioned in a pacifying tone. He kept looking from me to Sam.
"Imprinting is just part of what we are," Sam replied. And again I felt Sam's love for Emily. He considered his imprinting a gift. Though I knew he was trying, he couldn't hide his happiness over the situation.
"So I see you don't have any regrets. You don't wish it could have worked out differently," I said, trying my best not to lunge at him.
"I regret that you were hurt, but…no, I wouldn't change anything," Sam said carefully. I knew him well enough to know that he wasn't trying to be hurtful. Hearing him say it though still kicked the shit out of me.
"What really happened to Emily?" Seth suddenly asked.
Like a movie suddenly put on play, I was assaulted with images of Emily and Sam walking in the woods together. I saw her reject him. I lived Sam's pain as though it were my own. I watched as she tried to leave him and my heart softened for my cousin. I saw Sam's black paw rip into her face even as he tried to move away from her. It had been a horrible accident. I felt Sam's anguish, his thoughts of suicide that consumed him while Emily was in the hospital.
Through Sam's memories, I saw my own father try to talk to Sam after the accident. He was trying to get Sam to eat something, but Sam kept refusing. I witnessed through Paul and Jared's thoughts their fear for their leader as they tried to talk sense into Sam. They found him sitting on the floor of his bedroom looking skeletal. And then, finally, I saw Emily coming to talk to Sam after she got out of the hospital. She forced him to get up and move. She made him eat and start living again. If Emily hadn't gone to him, Sam could have very well died. As much as I hated Sam and cursed the day I ever met him, I couldn't help but feel gratitude to Emily for saving him.
I wanted to cry. I was so tired and scared. I never felt so confused in all my life.
"Sam…Sam, what about our father?" Seth asked once the onslaught stopped.
Sam looked at me for a moment. I hated that he could read my thoughts. I didn't want him in my head. I felt my agitation begin to rise again. Sam felt it too.
"I'll go check on what's happening with your father," he offered. "The rest of you stay and try to help them phase back."
"Wait, let me go with you," Jacob Black said. "I'll need to tell Billy. And then I want to go to Bella's and stay with her. With the bloodsucker running around, I need to make sure she's safe."
The pack's brains suddenly went into sync. I saw them chasing after a redheaded woman who was so pale she looked like a walking corpse. I knew instinctively that she was the enemy. She was the reason I was a fucked up spastic dog.
"Fine, let's go," Sam said in response to Jacob before looking at Seth and me. "You need to try to calm down. That's the only way you can phase back. Guys, work with them."
He and Jacob left the area quickly.
"Okay, so it's like this," Jared said. "Think a happy thought and…"
Jared was suddenly standing in front of me in human form, butt naked. He looked at me for a moment before making a gasping noise and covering his parts up with his hands. He quickly phased back.
"Yeah, nudity is something we've all kind of…uh…gotten used to," Embry said in an embarrassed tone.
"I'm not getting naked in front any of you!" I told them. I especially wouldn't do that dance again with Sam.
"Ugh, please Leah, stop thinking about Sam that way," Seth practically begged.
"I'm sorry!" I exclaimed. If I was in human form, my face would have been bright red.
"So what's it like being a wolf?" Seth questioned, sensing my humiliation and trying to shift the attention off me.
The boys instantly started talking excitedly. I wasn't sure how much time passed before Jacob was in all of our heads. Apparently, Bella Swan had gone over to Jake's house. She was supposed to meet him at the beach. Jake asked Embry and Jared to go check on her as he had gone to Forks with Sam and Billy and was too far away. They were concerned because the redheaded vampire had been stalking Bella. I soon felt Sam join Jacob in wolf form. They were running towards the cliffs.
"Bella…no!" Jacob suddenly screamed.
Through his eyes, we saw the Swan girl jump off one of the cliffs. Jacob jumped after her and went into the water. He must have phased back to human form while he was under, because he suddenly disconnected from our minds. Sam phased back too, because one minute he was in our heads and the next he was gone.
Seth and Paul discussed what we'd just witnessed. I was still too freaked out about the fact that I was a wolf. Would I be disgusting now in human form? Would I get fleas? Paul snorted at that, but before I could tell him off, I felt a shimmer and then Sam was running towards us.
"Leah, Seth, your dad has had a massive heart attack. I need to get you two to the hospital."
Oh God! It was my fault! I triggered this. If I hadn't turned into a monster, my dad would be home right now, sitting in his favorite chair. Seth came over to me and nudged my head with his.
"This isn't your fault," he whispered. Even Paul kept quiet. Finally, Sam arrived to where we were.
"Is Bella okay?" Paul asked.
"Yeah, Jake got to her. I thought I saw the leech in the water though. Jared and Embry are patrolling the cliffs right now. I want you to join them. But first, let's walk Seth and Leah through how to phase back…slowly."
So Paul worked with us. He went through some different emotions and pictured soothing things. He'd think of the woods. The sounds of the ocean crashing against the cliff walls. I could feel any pent up emotion he had melt away and he phased back, quickly turning away so I wouldn't see him. Not that I had any freaking wish to see his naked body.
Paul changed back into a wolf and walked us through the steps again. He and Sam both tried to be encouraging, but it wasn't helping. Hours passed. I could feel the tension beginning to leave Seth. He was thinking about this girl in his class he had a crush on, and poof, he was back to his normal self.
I didn't have such luck. I was too agitated and overwhelmed with guilt. And I couldn't concentrate with Sam so close by. Having him in my head was making me feel even worse. I didn't want him anywhere near me, let alone reading my every fucking thought!
Sam sighed and went behind a tree. When he came back into view, he was in human form and wearing shorts. "Leah, can't phase with me here. Seth, why don't you and I go get you some clothes? Paul, work with Leah. Meet us near the Clearwater property."
After about an hour, I was finally able to phase back. Paul went behind a bush and changed to his human form. Buttoning his shorts, he told me he'd let Seth and Sam know I was back to normal. He kept his eyes averted from my naked body the whole time, which I thought was pretty big of him, considering Paul always seemed to be such an ass.
Seth came into the woods a few minutes later, bringing me a t-shirt and jeans. He kept his eyes up to the sky the entire time. I quickly threw on the clothes and we headed towards Sam's truck. Paul had taken off to help Embry and Jared patrol, so Sam drove Seth and me to the hospital. I couldn't look at him once.
I understood so much now…why Sam had disappeared for those two weeks. When he was explaining the legends, he had showed us what he went through. My terror of what had happened to me today was nothing compared to what he had gone through. I also understood why he dumped me the way he did and why he pursued Emily. It was because of the stupid wolf gene. It was a curse. I was cursed.
We finally arrived at the hospital. When I walked in, I noticed Emily had her arms around my mom. My mother was sobbing. My dad's two best friends, Billy and Charlie Swan, were sitting in the waiting room. Billy had tears rolling down his cheeks. Charlie looked like it was taking everything in him not to cry.
"No," I whispered. "Please, no."
My mother saw us and let go of Emily, walking over to us quickly to hug both Seth and myself.
"Dad?" Was all I could get out.
"He's gone, baby," my mother responded tearfully.
"No!" I cried. "Not my dad…please…"
I kept shaking my head and saying no. Seth didn't say anything, but tears were streaming down his face. A nurse came over to us and told us we could say goodbye. My mom grabbed both of our hands and together we walked into the room where my father's body was.
My mom kissed him and told him how much she loved him. Seth hugged him. And then it was my turned. I stared at his pallid face.
Leaning down, I whispered in his ear. "I'm sorry Dad. I'm so sorry."
I put my forehead against his and started to sob. Seth pulled me away and hugged me.
"It's not your fault," he told me softly. My mom came over and hugged me from behind. We took one more look at the lifeless body that had once been my father before we went back into the waiting room.
Emily and Sam went in next to say their goodbyes. I sat numbly in my chair. I couldn't believe all of this was happening to me. I silently prayed that I would wake up and find that Sam was still my boyfriend, my father was still alive, and I wasn't a wolf. I even pinched my skin several times and silently yelled at myself to wake up from this nightmare but nothing worked.
I felt so ashamed and sick with myself. My anger and hate had caused this. When Emily and Sam came back into the room, I walked over to them. My dad had always adored Emily. I could at least make amends with her, especially now that I knew she had tried to reject Sam, and that she'd been injured because of it. I knew my father would have wanted me to repair my relationship with my cousin. If nothing else, I would do it for him. I couldn't make up for killing him, but at least I could do this.
"Em, I…I'm sorry," I told her. "I didn't understand before…you know, about you and Sam. A part of me still doesn't understand, but I'm not mad at you. Sam told me how you got hurt. That you didn't want to betray me."
"Oh Leah," Emily responded, before reaching over to me to hug me tight. Sam smiled sadly at me, but I just glared at him. No matter what, I'd never forgive him for the way he acted after becoming a wolf.
After awhile, Sam and Emily left with Billy. Charlie Swan stayed behind to help my mother make arrangements. I just sat on a couch in the waiting room, feeling completely empty. Seth sat down next to me and wrapped his arm around me. I was startled to realize he was now as tall as I was.
"Leah, look at me."
I did as he instructed and wanted to cry all over again at the pain in his eyes.
"This isn't your fault," Seth said again.
I just shook my head before resting my head on his shoulder tiredly. We sat that way for I don't know how long. Me, weeping on my younger brother's shoulder. Him, lending me his strength. I never realized how strong my baby brother was until that day.
It had been the very worst day of my life, and Seth never left my side. He shielded me and protected me. He really became my rock. Without his strength throughout everything, I would have been so lost…so damaged beyond repair.
But I wasn't…because of Seth.
A/N – I'm not going to spend a lot of time on sad, bitter Leah. We all know that from the books. I think I'm only going to do a few more chapters of her and the pack, and then I'm moving on to when she moves away from La Push. All right, please leave feedback on this chapter! Thanks!
