For this chapter please go back and watch episode 6x18 or at least the flashbacks of Spencer and Toby when Spencer takes her pregnancy test. This chapter will touch upon that and I didn't want to completely re-write the entire scene here.
Toby: "You don't have to say it like that".
Spencer: "Like what?"
Toby: "Like living together would be such a horrible thing".
Spencer: "In this context, it would be… I'm sorry but it would".
Spencer's conversation with Toby that night echoed inside her head. She hadn't expected that conversation to be the last one they had as a couple.
Aria: "Spence..."
Aria waved her hand in front of Spencer's face to grab her attention. She appeared deep in thought and it was scaring her to see Spencer so distraught. Spencer rarely exposed emotions of sadness. She kept her emotions bottled up until she exploded in a vibrant display of tears, frustration, and anger.
Spencer: "The truth is that me and Toby broke up in college because we had a pregnancy scare. I took a test and before it came up negative Toby told me he would want me to keep the baby. He thought I didn't want to be with him because I told him I would have an abortion if I was pregnant. We talked about our future together and we realized we didn't have one any longer. We decided to break up and we just lost touch. We didn't talk again until I came back to Rosewood."
Aria: "yeah but Toby already knows you two broke up, so what do you need to tell him about? What secret are you hiding?"
Spencer took a deep breath in and blew it out quickly to prepare herself for what she was about to tell Aria.
Spencer: "I got really sick while I was in school. I thought I was stressed because me and Toby broke up and I had finals going on. I went to the doctor on campus and they said with the nausea and vomiting I was having I should have a pregnancy test. I knew I had already taken one and it was negative, but I still was late. I thought I was just freaking out about school."
Aria: "So what are you saying Spence?"
Spencer: "I was pregnant. The test came back positive. I must not have been far enough along to test positive the first time."
Aria: "What happened? Did you have an abortion? You never told Toby?"
Spencer glanced up from the speck of dirt she was eyeing on the tile near her feet. Aria gave her an apologetic look as if to tell her to continue her story.
Spencer: "I wanted to get an abortion but I couldn't go through with it. I decided I would tell Toby. I wanted to call him and tell him the truth, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't make that phone call. I didn't know what to tell him. I want to be with him. Wanted.. " She said quickly correcting her last statement. "
Spencer: "I lost the baby" she said pausing as silent tears left her eyes. She looked up briefly and saw Aria quickly look away. "Since I lost the baby there was no point in telling Toby after that. It would only hurt him and I don't want to do that. "He called me a few times the first few months we broke up but I never answered the phone. I just couldn't talk to him and hear his voice without thinking about everything that happened".
Aria: "I thought you and Toby are friends now? did you want to get back together"
Spencer: "I did, yes. I wanted to call and tell him I wanted him back, that I made a mistake. I was wrong. I would have never went through with an abortion. I wanted to be with Toby. I would have given up school if I had to so we could be together as a family. By the time I figured it out and I could make the phone call to tell him it didn't matter anymore."
Aria: "You can still be with Toby Spence... If you still care about him you should tell him the truth".
Spencer: "No. He deserves to be happy. He deserves to be with Yvonne."
Aria: "He deserves to make that decision on his own. He should know the truth about why you didn't contact him until you came back to Rosewood. Maybe he doesn't want to be with Yvonne, maybe he wants to be with you and he's just settling for Yvonne because he doesn't think you love him". For a second Aria was reminded of the bitter irony of herself giving Spencer relationship advice when she was in her own love triangle.
Spencer: "There was something else too. They told me it would be difficult for me to carry a pregnancy to term. I might not be able to have kids. Toby wants a big family, he loves children. He should be with someone who can give him all the things that I can't.
Aria: "Spence you have to tell him. And not just because it's the right thing to do, but because if you don't AD is going to hurt Ezra. If you don't tell him yourself then you risk AD doing it for you."
I hope that everyone liked this chapter. I have been super busy in my personal life but will try to keep updating. I want to continue this and I have some big ideas for future chapters :) please review.
