"Can't you do anything other than parrot the stuff I do to you?" Renji asked with a bored sigh as he felt Ichigo's fingers hesitantly touching his side as they walked. Drawing back, Ichigo snarled.
"You've had your hands all over me for the last two days, what else can I do?"
"Try using your head for once? There's more to playing this game than putting an arm around someone's waist and hovering in their personal space, and you're sure as hell not going to make me quit with things I don't think twice about doing to you." Renji swatted the back of his friend's head teasingly as they walked, then picked up his pace.
"I'll go on ahead, leave you to try and form some ideas."
"Oh, no you don't." Ichigo reached up, fumbling for a bit before finding the tie that kept Renji's hair in its place and jerking it out, some of Renji's hair coming with it.
"Ow! What the hell?" Renji put a hand on the back of his head, shoving Ichigo against the fence on their right, hair falling into Ichigo's face as he glared down at him.
"Abarai…do explain what it is that you are doing instead of the work I requested." Byakuya's calm voice asked from behind the two, causing Renji's knees to give out. Turning to his captain with a mix of fear and embarrassment on his face, he attempted to force a coherent explanation out.
"I-I…he pulled my hair loose really roughly, and, um, I wanted to, you know, get him back…for it…" Face reddening with every passing moment looking into Byakuya's expressionless face, Renji finally gave up and bowed his head, grateful for the hair shielding the vivid blush on his cheeks.
"And you did so by pinning him against a fence?"
"W-Well, Captain Kuchiki, I was going to, um, yell at him a bit so I wanted eye contact..." Glancing back at Ichigo, who seemed to be quite enjoying his suffering, he realized halfway through that his explanation made no sense but couldn't stop it.
"Renji. That's enough." Byakuya ordered, a sound that could almost have been called a quiet sigh following the command. He turned away from his vice-captain.
"It's none of my concern as long as you have done what I asked, which I assume you have?"
"Yes, sir..." Beginning to walk away upon receiving a satisfactory response, Byakuya didn't waste time by looking back or instructing the two to follow. When he heard no footsteps other than his own, he slowed momentarily.
"You drag your feet, Renji."
"Yes, Captain Kuchiki. I'm coming." Renji began to walk, biting his lip as he tried to catch up with his captain. Ichigo chuckled with amusement, placing his hand on Renji's shoulder and leaning over to whisper to him.
"You look like a girl with your hair down…especially when you blush like an idiot and stutter when talking to Byakuya. Quit trying to act tough."
"Shut up, Ichigo!" Renji hissed back, shoving the teen away and increasing his pace to catch up with Byakuya.
"Oh, so the freeloader's bringing friends, huh? I guess you're giving up your share of dinner then?" Jinta drawled as he caught sight of the trio. He pushed off of the wall, smirking mockingly at Renji and paying absolutely no attention, let alone respect, to Byakuya. He was soon informed of his mistake when a scathing glare was trained on both him and Renji, and backed away a few steps. His path now clear, Byakuya entered the shop and disappeared from sight. Renji darted off after him, and the two remaining outside could hear a variety of crashes and a surprised yelp from Renji. Shaking his head, Ichigo entered to watch the rest of the spectacle for himself. Renji had somehow found the opportunity to tie his hair back again, and he was holding a large stack of papers out to Byakuya. Accepting it wordlessly, Byakuya flipped through them before turning.
"Do not fall behind again, Renji." He warned, not interested in hearing Renji's response seeing as he knew the man would behave better from then on. Renji's response was automatic, however, and still reached his ears as he was leaving.
"Of course not, Captain Kuchiki." Satisfied as he could be considering the circumstances, Byakuya gave his vice-captain a slight nod of recognition then left. After he was certain that the man was gone, Renji turned on Ichigo and kicked his legs out from under him.
"If Byakuya decides to cut my pay or something for this, I'm going to make your dad's lectures seem like heaven."
"It'd serve you right." Ichigo reciprocated the man's action, pouncing on him and trying to pin his arms down. Renji grinned, pulling free and switching their positions, throwing in an elbow to Ichigo's stomach at the same time. Ichigo began to cough, wrapping his leg around Renji's and kicking him soundly in the calf. Renji slammed Ichigo's hands down to the floor, leaning over to press his cheek against the teen's. Trying to fight back his rapidly growing blush, Ichigo was about to head-butt him when he heard a familiar voice chuckle from the doorway.
"My, my, Renji…you don't waste much time, do you?" Urahara asked lightly, a disconcerting smile coming over his face as he watched the two scramble up and apart from each other.
"That's no-" Renji glared at his host, but didn't daunt him in the least. Ichigo had gotten him this time…did he purposely let Renji get control over him? This couldn't possibly be a worse situation, because it was exactly what it looked like, just without the enjoyment.
"Oh, I don't mind But next time, try to last until the bedroom, all right?" The blond teased, stifling further laughter as Renji and Ichigo glared at each other. Now satisfied that he'd humiliated the two as well as could be expected, Urahara left the two to sulk.
"I can't believe you were serious about cutting my food in half…" Renji groaned, staring at the paltry amount of food sitting in front of him with despair and hunger. All he received in response to his protest was one of Urahara's vapid grins and a smirk from Jinta as the boy took a second helping. He looked longingly at Ichigo's full plate, debating whether the risk of stealing some of his food was worth the reward, before reaching across the table and grabbing several pieces of sashimi off the teen's plate.
"Hey! Eat your own, damn it!" Ichigo slapped Renji's arm, reaching as far as he could and just managing to get a firm hold on the plate, taking it away.
"They don't feed me enough!" Renji protested, looking down at the three morsels clutched in his hand that were going to be the entirety of his dinner unless he did something.
"You're practically a girl anyway, you might as well watch what you eat." Ichigo replied, struggling to keep a straight face until he finished his sentence and failing miserably. In the ensuing raucous laughter, Renji was able to steal a couple more handfuls of food and slink off into his room, wishing with great fervor that the table's occupants would choke.
