Last chapter!
They decide not to tell their friends, because honestly that would just be a recipe for disaster. They don't need the teasing and the questions and the inevitable pity he'd get from the people who know about his crush. Which he's pretty sure is more than just a crush, but that's irrelevant.
It's pretty easy to keep it a secret really. They already spend more time with each other than with anyone else, and besides their friends are all too wrapped up in their own lives to notice if Clarke happens to be at Bellamy's place in the middle of the night. Or if he happens to have his hand up her skirt while they're out for drinks.
They're so oblivious that Raven even tries to set him up with someone else. They're at a bar one Saturday night, a few weeks after he and Clarke started sleeping together and Raven follows him up to the bar to get drinks.
"Are you seeing anyone at the moment?" she asks, obviously trying to sound casual. For a second Bellamy thinks she's going to hit on him.
"Nope, why?"
"Clarke is," Raven shrugs.
"Is that so?" Bellamy says vaguely.
"You okay with that?" Raven prods.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"You know why."
"I'm fine with it," Bellamy says, and it's really not a lie, seeing as the person Clarke is seeing is him. They're served by the bartender then and Bellamy assumes Raven has forgotten about her line of questioning, until they're on their way back to the table where the rest of their friends are.
"I invited someone tonight, she'll be here soon," Raven tells him.
"Okay?" Bellamy responds, slightly confused as to why she's telling him this.
"I thought you might like her," Raven hints. "Her name is Gina."
"Ah," Bellamy clicks. "This is a set up."
"It doesn't have to be," Raven assures him. "Just see if you like her, okay? She's not expecting anything."
"Okay," Bellamy nods. "I'll see." Raven beams at him as they join the rest of their friends.
"What are you so happy about?" Murphy asks Raven as she slides into the booth beside him. Bellamy slides in next to Clarke, handing her the drink he bought her.
"I got Bellamy to agree to go out with Gina," she brags. Bellamy frowns at her.
"That is not what I agreed to," he protests.
"Close enough," Raven shrugs. "Ooh, here she comes." Raven gestures towards the entrance and Bellamy turns to see an attractive woman coming towards them, her brown curls framing a pretty face.
"What exactly did you agree to?" Clarke asks him.
"Nothing," he assures her, turning back to face her, but she doesn't look convinced.
"Gina!" Raven waves to her friend and she approaches.
"Hey," Gina smiles at the group. Raven scoots over so Gina can sit beside her, across from Bellamy.
"Gina, this is Bellamy, Clarke, Bryan, Miller and Murphy," Raven introduces, pointing to each person in turn. "Everyone, this is Gina."
"Nice to meet you all," Gina says genuinely.
"Bellamy, Gina works at a bookstore," Raven tells him, and then she quickly engages the other boys in a conversation to let Bellamy and Gina have some privacy.
Bellamy obliges Raven by chatting to Gina, not that it's much of a chore. Gina is cute and funny, and they chat about work and their interests and they seem to have a lot in common. He thinks that if Clarke was out of the picture he could definitely see something happening with Gina. So he flirts with her a little, because she flirts with him and it's easy to flirt back, but then he feels bad because he seems like he's interested when he's really not.
"I'm going to get a drink," Gina announces to the table. "Anyone want anything?"
"I'll come with you," Bellamy says as the others shout their drink orders at her.
"Do you think they'll care if I don't remember any of that?" Gina laughs as she and Bellamy make their way towards the bar.
"As long as it has alcohol in it, I don't think they care," Bellamy chuckles and Gina nods her agreement. "So, uh, I wanted to talk to you," Bellamy says.
"Oh yeah?" Gina says curiously.
"I don't know what Raven said to you about me…" he starts, looking at her cautiously. He really hopes Raven hasn't led her to believe this is a sure thing.
"She said you were hot and single," Gina grins. "The hot part is definitely right. And the single part?" she questions.
"Technically true," Bellamy says. "And look, you seem great. But I kind of have a thing for someone else," he says apologetically. Gina nods, seemingly not surprised.
"Raven said that might be the case," she shrugs. "If it makes you feel any better, I think she might be into you too."
"Raven?"
"Clarke," Gina raises an eyebrow.
"What makes you say that?" Bellamy asks in confusion.
"She hasn't said a word to me all night. I think she's sulking," Gina rolls her eyes. Bellamy is pretty sure Clarke is above sulking, but come to think about it, she hasn't said much at all since Gina arrived.
"I wouldn't read too much into it," Bellamy sighs. "If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell Raven? Or anyone else for that matter?"
"Sure," Gina nods.
"Clarke and I have been sleeping together the last couple of weeks. She's probably just annoyed because she thinks she might lose her fuck buddy," Bellamy explains.
"If you say so," Gina shrugs. "Now, what was it Murphy wanted? A double tequila Sleeping Hornet's Nest with two olives and a twist on the rocks?"
"You definitely just made that up," Bellamy snorts.
"Maybe, but we should still order it and see what the bartender gives us," Gina grins mischievously.
They order the drinks and head back to the table handing everyone a random drink. As predicted there are no complaints, everyone is just happy to have alcohol. Everyone except Clarke that is.
"Hey, are you okay?" Bellamy whispers to her. "You've barely said a word all night."
"I'm actually not feeling that well," Clarke tells him. Bellamy nods. He knew what Gina was saying couldn't have been true.
"Want me to take you home?" he offers.
"You don't have to," Clarke says. "I don't want to cockblock you or anything."
"Clarke," Bellamy says exasperatedly. "Do you want to go home or not?" She pauses.
"Yeah," she says finally. Bellamy nods again and turns to the rest of the table.
"Sorry, guys, Clarke isn't feeling well. I'm going to take her home," he announces. The others all complain and shout their disapproval at him, but he just helps Clarke out of the booth, and heads towards the exit, calling a goodbye over his shoulder to his friends who have probably already forgotten he was even there.
Clarke is still fairly silent on the drive home, so Bellamy thinks she must really be sick, but then when he gets to her place she asks him if he's coming inside.
"Are you sure you want me to?" he asks. "Maybe you should just get some rest."
"Come on, Bellamy," Clarke huffs. "We don't have to do anything. Just come and keep me company for a while." Bellamy sighs, knowing he can't say no to that, and follows her inside.
"Gina seems nice," Clarke muses as she shuts the door behind Bellamy.
"Yeah, she does," Bellamy agrees.
"Are you going to see her again?" Clarke asks, and Bellamy studies her face, trying to find some sign that she actually cares. He shrugs.
"Probably not." Clarke nods, but gives away no emotion.
"You know, I'm feeling much better," she says, taking a step towards him, closing the gap between them. She's got that look in her eye that she gets when she knows she wants something, and Bellamy has a feeling he knows what it is.
"Is that so? This wouldn't have anything to do with me coming home with you and not Gina would it?" he guesses.
"You think I was jealous?" Clarke questions, tracing figure eights on his chest with her finger.
"I think you had a plan for tonight and you thought Gina was going to ruin it," Bellamy corrects her.
"And what if that was true?" Clarke asks, looking up at him innocently through her lashes.
"I'd say you never had anything to worry about," he assures her, before grabbing he waist and pulling her flush against him and kissing her. She opens his mouth for him, kissing him back and his hands find her skin under her shirt, stroking her stomach with his thumbs. Then he's pushing her back, up against the wall behind her and she breaks the kiss only so she can pull his shirt over his head.
"Bedroom," she commands, and she shrieks joyfully when Bellamy picks her up and throws her over his shoulder. She's kicking her shoes off as Bellamy carries her to her room and he almost trips over them, stumbling slightly. "Don't drop me!" Clarke cries.
"You have no faith in me," Bellamy pouts as he set her on her bed.
"Oh, I have plenty of faith," she says seductively, licking her lips. She pulls her top over her head and wriggles out of her skirt. "I have faith that you can make me come."
"It's not faith when it's been proven time and time again," Bellamy smirks. "It's just science."
"Well, then, come and experiment on me," Clarke winks.
"This is the weirdest fucking dirty talk," Bellamy shakes his head with a grin, but then he's peeling off his pants and joining her on the bed, and she lies back as he kisses her senseless. He keeps kissing her while he runs a hand down her belly, slipping it into her panties, making her spread her legs for him. He teases her with his fingers, his mouth still hot and wet on hers, and she moans softly at his touch.
"Bellamy," she says, her voice muffled by his mouth. "Fuck me, please. I've been waiting for this all night." Bellamy doesn't respond, just moves his mouth from her lips to her neck, then sliding her panties down her legs and onto the floor. He positions himself over her and she wraps her legs around him, pulling him in closer. His cock brushes her entrance before he slowly lets himself sink into her, feeling her tight pussy clench around him.
"Fuck me," she commands, and he does. Slow at first, but he isn't able to hold back for long, especially with Clarke urging him on, moaning beneath him, repeating his name amongst her constant stream of yes, fuck and please. Her words become mostly unintelligible as he fucks her harder, and he's sure she's not even aware of what she's saying she's so worked up. But he's sure he doesn't mishear her when she says, "God, Bellamy, I love you."
He almost stops, he's so startled, but he doesn't want to draw attention to it yet, not when they're both so close. Not when he's not sure if it means anything or not. So he keeps fucking her until he feels her shatter beneath him, her walls fluttering around his cock, bringing him over the edge with her.
He lets himself catch his breath, content to lie beside her for a moment, but her words weigh on him, daring him to get his hopes up, while at the same time reminding him that it was probably nothing. Just something cried out in the heat of the moment.
"Clarke," he says softly, when he can't bear it any longer.
"Mmm?"
"Did you say you loved me?" he asks hesitantly, almost holding his breath as he waits for her response. He feels her freeze up beside him, and he instantly regrets bringing it up.
"I don't know," she says. "Did I?"
"Yeah," he answers, because of that he is certain.
"Well," she says, sitting up. "I obviously didn't mean it like, I love you. I meant like… I love what we're doing. I love what you do to me," she clarifies, and Bellamy can't help but feel disappointed.
"Oh good," he says flatly, unable to meet her gaze.
"You should probably go," Clarke says lightly and he almost hates her for a second, though she can't possibly know how she's made him feel.
"Yeah," he agrees, sliding out of her bed and making his way over to where his pants are. "Clarke," he says as he pulls them on.
"Yeah?"
"I don't think we should do this anymore," he says firmly. He has to say it now, while he's hurting, or he might never do it.
"What do you mean? I said you don't have to worry about what I said. It's nothing," she assures him.
"I know," he nods. "That's part of the reason. I think it's maybe time I find somebody who does love me. Who I can love back."
"Oh," Clarke says, and he sees her swallow as she looks down at her sheets.
"Thanks, this was fun," he nods before leaving the room, leaving her. He's pretty sure they can still be friends. He'll have some rebound sex, get her out of his system, and then maybe he can call up Gina. It will be hard to get over Clarke, but he thinks he can do it. He's pretty sure it will take Clarke no time at all.
Bellamy gets a text from Raven the next morning.
Clarke is here and she's upset. Come over and help me cheer her up.
He's still kind of upset himself, of course, about last night. But he can't bring himself to not be there for her, not if he can make her feel better. He kind of wonders why she went to Raven instead of him. Is it possible he wasn't as subtle about his feelings as he thought he was? Maybe she feels awkward about how they ended things. Still, if she's upset about something and Raven thinks he can help, then he's certainly not going to stay away, and he's over at Raven's in record time.
"What happened?" he asks Raven when she opens the door. "Why is she upset? Where is she?"
"She's in the bathroom. I told her you were coming over and she locked herself in there," Raven says wryly. "Did you do something?"
"I—I'm not sure," he says honestly. "What did she say to you?"
"All she said was she fucked everything up," Raven shrugs. "And then she burst into tears. I thought maybe she was talking about the guy she's been seeing."
"Should I go and check on her?" he asks. Raven shrugs again.
"Maybe let's just let her calm down a bit," she suggests. "How'd things go with Gina? You two seemed to hit it off."
"Yeah, but – you know I've got feelings for Clarke," Bellamy sighs.
"That's exactly why you should go out with Gina. Look, Clarke is – or was – really happy. Pretty sure things are serious with this guy," Raven says knowingly.
"Did she say that?" Bellamy asks, surprised.
"Not exactly. She won't tell me anything about him except that he's the best sex she's ever had. But she's so in love with him. It's painfully obvious," Raven snorts.
"It is?" Bellamy swallows. He glances towards Raven's bathroom where he knows Clarke is. When he looks back at Raven she's studying him suspiciously.
"It's you, isn't it?" she guesses. Bellamy rubs a hand across his face.
"Yeah," he responds.
"You should probably go and talk to her then," Raven says matter-of-factly, pushing him towards the bathroom. Bellamy walks to the door hesitantly, then pauses before knocking.
"There's someone in here!" Clarke calls.
"It's Bellamy," Bellamy responds.
"Okay, well. I'm busy. We'll have to talk later," she calls again.
"I need to tell you something, and I'd much rather say it to your face than to a door," he tells her. "I promise it won't take long." There's a long pause.
"Fine," Clarke says and he hears her footsteps coming towards the door, then the lock being turned. A second later her face appears in the slightly ajar doorway. He can see she's obviously been crying, and he can hardly believe that he's the one who made her cry. He hates himself a little bit.
"Clarke, look. I didn't end things because I didn't want to be with you. I ended things because I did want to be with you," he tells her.
"That doesn't make any sense," she laughs humourlessly.
"You told me you loved me," he reminds her.
"Yeah and then I took it back, so there was no need to run off all scared," she huffs.
"I wasn't running scared," he scowls. "You hurt me. I was in love with you and you told me you didn't love me. That shit hurts, Clarke."
"You were in love with me?"
"Well, it was only yesterday. I'm probably still in love with you," he admits flippantly.
"Cool," Clarke smiles and Bellamy shakes his head in exasperation.
"Cool?" he snorts. Clarke nods.
"Can I take back the taking back?" Clarke asks, looking hopeful.
"How about you just say it again," Bellamy suggests, rolling his eyes, but unable to keep the smile off his face now.
"Okay," Clarke grins. "I love you."
"Cool, so. Now we're even," Bellamy shrugs. Clarke laughs, and her laughter lights up her entire face.
"You complete –," Clarke starts, but Bellamy's already kissing her, cutting off whatever insult she had been about to throw at him. She pulls him into the bathroom and shuts the door behind him.
"You better not fuck in my bathroom!" Bellamy hears Raven yell.
"I mean, she can't stop us," Clarke shrugs and Bellamy just grins and keeps kissing her.
