It took weeks of careful planning but I'm happy to report that the party for my children's 15th was a huge success! I have to thank my wife though; there were a few times Stef had to rein in the crazy, but we got through it with only a few minor bumps to report.

Like my mother insisting on being there, I know it was for the children but I could have done without having her there. My mom rattles me and makes me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. It's sad knowing that as a grown woman my mom still has the ability to make me cry … and not in a good way.

At least she got her priorities straight, she's totally fine with me being a lesbian, but has issues with me being black. In essence what she's really saying is that I'm not dark enough to be considered a black woman with my light brown skin and coil free hair. Therefore I couldn't possibly understand the struggles of black people and that's the issue right there. My life wasn't easier because I was half Caucasian it was harder because of it and it opened me up to a whole other set of struggles. Struggles that she never considered or helped me through. All my life I've had to live in two cultures.. two races but never quite fitting into or being accepted by either. My mom just doesn't get that, no matter how many times I've tried to explain it but Stef is right. I now know where I belong.

The other bump? Marianna felt embarrassed about dancing with us at her party. I was concerned, but not overly perturbed by it. I understand her fear. Having two moms comes with challenges and puts our children on constant display. Some days kids don't want to stick out – like that uncomfortable incident in the dress shop earlier this week. Sometimes they just want normal and traditional. When we can provide that, we try. Like her Quince she wanted it to be as close to tradition as we could make it, given the circumstances. Some things we had to forgo on like the catholic mass, but we could give her the 'father' daughter dance. I actually didn't mind Mike doing it either, she looked beautiful on the dance floor and I was really proud and happy she got the party she wanted. See, some days I can like Mike if I try really hard.

Marianna surprised me in the end though, she felt remorseful about not dancing with us and she even apologized for it. I guess in her desire to have the perfect party and to fit in, she learnt a long the way that you should accept and be proud of the people who give you the love and support to make your dreams happen. I think she grew a little and that makes me a proud mama.

I saw Callie give Jude a reassuring hug, while the slide show was playing. I can't imagine how many birthdays went uncelebrated and missed childhood moments that weren't captured on film. I was conflicted at first, but now I know we made the right decision in keeping them. If nothing else maybe we can provide some normalcy to an otherwise turbulent life.