RPOV

"Ness, honey, why don't you come to the funeral? You should come- you need to come. It might help you get some closure," my mother said. "If he were here, he'd want you to come. . ."

I sat in front of my mirror while she played with my hair. I waited a few minutes before saying, "He wouldn't want me to go if he were here because he'd be alive and wouldn't be having a funeral in the first place."

I still couldn't get over the fact that I was the reason Jake was gone. . .

"Okay, I'll come since you think it will help."

She gave me a sad smile and squeezed my shoulder before leaving so I could change out of my pajamas. I went to the closet and found the snug little black calf-length dress with long Victorian lace sleeves that Alice had once picked out when we went shopping. I chose this because it was what I had worn on mine and Jake's first real date.

The first night that I had let him down. . . . But I wasn't going to think about that now. I would not start crying- not yet at least.

I finished getting ready and made my way down stairs to my waiting family. In silence, we got into the cars and headed off to the church.

SPOV

I was talking with Sam, Paul, Jared, and Quil when I spotted Renesmee coming in the door surrounded by her family. I made my way over to give her a hug.

"How ya doing?" I asked her.

She just shrugged and shook her head, hoping I wouldn't notice when she turned her head to wipe away a tear.

I gave her another hug and lead her to our seats in one of the front rows. Nessie just sat and stared at the coffin as if she expected Jake to open the lid and climb on out as if nothing was wrong with him, and he'd just been taking a nap or something. Her expression darkened and became less hopeful as the time passed by.

Finally the minister stepped up to the podium. "Friends, family. Let us take a moment to remember our dear friend Jacob Black."

Everyone bowed their heads and I peeked up to see Renesmee get out of her chair and walk up to the large oak coffin. It was closed, of course, because of the extent of Jacob's burns, so there was a large picture of him sitting on top of the lid of the coffin. Renesmee placed on hand on top of the wood and the other to cover her mouth. Her shoulders- for what seemed like the thousandth time in the past three days- shook with silent sobs.

Heads began to rise, everyone stared at the girl standing in the front of the room crying for her lost love. Renesmee collapsed to the ground crying her eyes out.

"He-he c-can't b-be dead!" she sobbed. "H-he can't!"

Her face showed way more pain than anyone should have to endure in one lifetime- especially when that lifetime was eternity. Some of the women were moved to tears at her show of desperation, vulnerability, and hopelessness that was clear on her face and in her voice.

I got up and rushed to her, taking her up into my arms. As I carried her out of the church, Edward went to get up and follow us out.

It's okay, I thought. I've got her. You stay here with Bella.

Renesmee had her arms clamped around my neck and was now sobbing into my shoulder.

"Shh, Ness, don't cry," I whispered, putting her into the passenger side seat of my truck.

She curled into a ball, bringing her knees up to her chin and wrapping her arms around her legs, and tears continued to run down her cheeks. All was quiet except for Ness's quiet sobs until we were almost to the Cullen house when she had regained most of her composure and asked in a small, little devastating voice, "Do you not miss him at all?"

I almost swerved off the road. "What?" I looked over at her. "Why would you think that I don't miss Jake? He was my brother, Ness; of course I miss him!"

We were at the house now, and I got out and opened her door. Looking at her face, I knew that she was still troubled by something. When we got inside, she curled up on the couch while I sat in front of her on the coffee table. I leaned forward resting my hands on my knees.

"Renesmee, is something else bothering you? I mean, besides the fact that Jake's not here anymore?"

I was able to come right out and ask such a pointed question without it coming off as rude because after Jacob (and not counting her family) I was the second person she was the closest and most open to. We had been best buds her whole life. No topic was off topic for us- we shared everything.

"I'll just show you," she said, leaning forward and putting her hand against my cheek.

RPOV

I decided to show Seth everything that happened the night that Jacob died. And, yes, I mean everything.

I texted Jake saying, I'm ready, Jake. Will you come over?

A few seconds later, he replied saying, I'm on my way.

There was butterflies in the pit of my stomach as I walked around my room lighting some candles and dimming down the lights.

I went to my bathroom making sure my hair was okay and slipping out of my sweats and into some lingerie I had secretly bought from Victoria Secrets yesterday after everyone had left on a hunting trip. I put on a short, silky robe that barely covered my butt when I heard Jacob let himself in.

He had apparently ran over in wolf form or either he had just gotten off of patrol duty because he was in cut offs without a shirt on. Not that I minded one bit about the absence of his shirt, though. His abs were to die for.

I skipped over some of the next stuff, but picked back up here:

"Are you sure?" Jacob asked me.

We were on my bed, me in my lingerie and Jacob in his boxers. Jake was leaning back against the pillows with me straddling him.

I leaned down to whisper, "Yes," in his ear. I kissed along his neck and to his jaw line. I felt him tense under me and then stretch out before rolling over gently to lay on top of me.

He pulled me to him with a fierce kind of passion, and he began kissing my jaw, then my neck, and he made his way to my shoulder where he paused before unclasping my bra.

I wasn't ready for this- I thought I was, but I wasn't.

"Jake," I murmured.

He mistook me saying his name as a passionate sigh and moved lower to where he could kiss my stomach. Should I stop him? I knew he had been waiting a long time for this- eight and a half years to be exact. Maybe once we started, I'd be okay. . .

But I was wrong. When he went to remove my panties- I just couldn't.

"No, Jake!" I whisper shouted.

At once, he removed himself from on top of me. I sat up against the pillows, gathering the blankets up and around myself, covering up my body as Jacob slipped on his shorts. When I was covered, he climbed up on the bed next to me to hold me while I cried.

Eventually, my tears subsided and we moved to the living room. After a while, Jacob left.

SPOV

"That was the lat night I saw Jacob. . . The night he died," Renesmee said, tears filling her eyes. "It's all my fault, don't you see? Because I asked him to come over. I told him I was ready when I wasn't-"

I grabbed her by her upper arms, forcing her to look up at me.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen, it is not your fault that Jacob is dead. Do you understand? We all miss him and can all find some way to blame ourselves, but you didn't kill Jacob, did you?"

She weighed the question carefully trying to decide the difference between what she knew was the truth and what she wanted to believe, but she knew the true answer deep down..

"No," she whispered, wiping her eyes. "I didn't kill Jacob."

I pulled her into a hug and she laid her head against my shoulder. We sat like that until she fell asleep- which wasn't very long- and I carried her to bed.