Chapter Four: Things I Forgot At Birth

Lucas Scott had forgotten a lot things since he's been alive. Some of it he's glad he's forgotten, and somethings he wishes he could forget. Then again, there are somethings, very few in amount, that he wishes like hell he could remember. One of those things, was his ability to comfort someone in desperate need of comforting. Right now, that person was Haley James Scott. His calling her that though, only proves that he refuses to acknowledge the fact that his brother gave up on his marriage without fighting for like he knew Nathan could. Haley stood beside him, a broken shell of the person she used to be. She used to shine with a radiant glow, but now she was dark and musty. She kind of reminded him a little of Peyton, and with the dark, gloomy radiance that know resided where it used to be bright and shiny.

Peyton though, being of the things he wished he would forget. No matter how much he loved her, or still did. He couldn't get past how badly she had hurt him, and how she hid the truth from him. Although he knew that she was only trying to protect him. She didn't want him to hurt again, didn't want him to lose anyone else. Lucas, himself, knew that he had already been put through enough loss to last him a lifetime. The fact still remained that he wanted to be there for her, he didn't want her to go through something like that alone. He had always known that Peyton Sawyer always had a difinace in her. An independence that no one could crack into. Not even Lucas, no matter how hard he tried. Although he was one of the only ones that got her to open up in a way that she wouldn't with most people. She was always a closed off person, keeping her distance from everyone. Afraid that they might hurt her, or worse leave her.

She had always told him about how everyone leaves, and one day, a few months before graduation. She had admitted to him that she felt she was the real reason that people were always leaving her. That she had an inability to keep anyone in her life, and that she was pushing everyone away. She had also confessed that she didn't want to lose him, that she wouldn't be able to survive if he left her. He had promised her then and there, that he would never leave her, that he loved her.

However, just a few months later, she packed a bag in the middle of the night, and left without so much of a word. Without a goodbye, or without telling Lucas why she felt the need to leave him alone, to wait for her return.

Lucas now looked forward, as Nathan embraced Brooke in a tight hug, as tears of self loathing fell from his face. His attention went from his clearly broken brother, to that of his best friend in whole world. Her face twisted in such a look of pure pain and agony, that Lucas really wished he had the capability to comfort his friend in need. Truth of the matter though, was that he had lost that ability when he lost Peyton. That was the final nail in his proverbial coffin. Lucas, like Peyton, had lost a lot of people he really cared about. His Uncle Keith, his mother who now took up permanent residence in Andy Hargrove's boat, sailing around to god knows where. His brother has been lost to him for a while now, as he refuses to talk to pretty much anyone. His best friend has left, along with Brooke Davis, a girl he had once proclaimed that he loved unconditionally. Peyton though, she had left a hole in his heart, that he was sure was completely unrepairable.

Lucas sighed however, and placed a protective arm around Haley's shoulders, as her body jumped from the quiet sobs that came out. Her eyes were glassy from all the unshed tears that were awaiting for her to let them fall, and her cheeks were rosy red. Lucas was really hoping that Nathan wouldn't see them, Lucas really wasn't in the mood for that fight. Not this late at night, not with his mind so conflicted. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to let him mind fall away, trying to think of a happier time. A time away from this place, away from this nightmare he now called his life.

Beginning of Flashback

Lucas rose to the sound of his alarm blaring loudly in his ear. There had to be a better way to wake up in the morning, he thought to himself, as he turned over and smacked the offending object. Where was his usual wake up call. She had been there when he had fallen asleep the night before. He pushed the covers back, and pulled his legs out, and sat on the edge of the bed. He adverted his ears, trying to pull out some sort of noise that would tell him where he could locate his missing girlfriend. Although he found no noise. He stood up, stretched the tiredness from his body, before reaching down and pulling on his shirt from the day before. There sticking out like a sore thumb was a piece of notebook paper laying haphazardly on his nightstand.

He felt his stomach tighten at the sight. He knew that this couldn't be a good thing. What could Peyton possibly be doing that would cause for her to leave him a note, and not wake him up. He grabbed a hold of the piece of paper, and swallowed hard, as he unfolded it, and stared down at in, tears in his eyes. He read the three words over and over, trying to wrap his head around why she would have done this.

"I'm so sorry."

He said the words out loud, hoping they would tell him why she wrote them. Still nothing, no reason would come to him, as to why she would leave him with only this note and no real reason as to why she would do this. He tore up the offending paper, and sat back down on his bed, his head falling into his hands as tears streamed down his face. This had to be a nightmare, he said over and over.

End of Flashback

Nathan hugged Brooke much longer than he had intended on. Hell he had let her see him more vulnerable than he had intended on as well. He wasn't sure how long he had been crying, but he knew his body ached from the violent sobs that escaped his body, as Brooke cooed soothingly into his ear, and rubbed his back lightly. A part of him was thankful she was there. He would admit that he had been holding this in for a while now, and it really did feel good to get it all out. Although he did wish there was a much manlier way to let it out, than crying his eyes out, especially in front of another person.

He lifted his head from her shoulder, when his sobs had subsided, and thanked her with his eyes. His once baby blue eyes were now dulled, with a sadness and anger that nothing or no one could fix. Nathan knew that something in him had broken when Haley left this last time. He also knew that nothing, or no one, not even Haley could fix him this time. He was full of self loathing and anger, and no one even liked being near him anymore. His snide and rude comments usually had them all fleeing toward the nearest exit. He had stopped leaving his apartment, and spent most of his days alone, eating pizza that he ordered in, and playing play station. His life was sad, and that thought alone made him want to cry again. He had promised himself a long time ago that he would never let a woman break him, but here he was a broken man, all because of Haley James. His darkened blue eyes fell on the woman of the moment, as a single tear fell from his eyes.

Beginning of Flashback

Nathan stretched laying in his king sized bed. A smile on his lips, as he turned to awaken his bed partner from her slumber. He turned on his side to find that her side of the bed was empty. His mind automatically went into overdrive, trying to figure out where she might be. His eyes find a small post it note stuck to her pillow. His stomach dropped immediately, as he saw laying beside that note, was the cracker jack bracelet. He immediately knew that she had left him, again. It seemed to be an on-going thing with her. It had only been about a year since she had returned from the tour, and apparently the grief he had given her on that wasn't enough to keep her from leaving him a second time.

He grabbed a hold of the bracelet that he had come to hate, and threw it against the wall. Praying that the damned thing would break into pieces. That bracelet had lost all meaning to him, while it had meant the world to him at a time, now it just mocked him. Him now knowing that it was just her way of telling him that she was gone. He grabbed the note, and of course it gave no details of were she went, or why she left. It merely said, "I'm so sorry. I do love you." He shrugged off her words. Apparently she didn't love him enough to fight for their marriage. He wouldn't wait for her this time, he wouldn't be a good little husband who waited for his absentee wife to return to him whenever a random bug would crawl up her ass, and make her decide to abandon him yet again. He wouldn't go through losing her again, it hurt to much, to badly. He wadded up the small piece of paper and chucked it against the wall as well, as tears fell from his face. Right now, at this moment, he hated Haley James Scott.

End of Flashback

Nathan let his eyes burn into hers, he loved the fact that he was making her squirm. She had earned to be highly uncomfortable around him.

'I love you' she mouthed to him.

He's eyes dropped from hers, as he looked back at Brooke.

"We've got company," he said, as he shook his head in their direction.