I do not own Divergent. Credit goes to Veronica Roth.


The physical training was truly a hardship for me to undergo. I had never been used to manual labor. I had briefly noticed that there was an Abnegation transfer who was struggling as well but there was determination in her eyes every time she missed shooting at the target or had thrown a horrible punch. I on the other hand began believing Eric's words on the roof that first day I had arrived here.

Eric had gone through great lengths to ignore my presence. I had not been there for a day and I had already seen his hardened shell. There truly was no Eric Coulter from before, at last not outwardly. His presence was harsh on the other initiates and on me. I had seen him verbally and also mentally abuse us. A few other initiates had cried at night.

"I cannot believe that is the same Eric," I said as I threw weak punch after yet another weakened punch.

"Here," Edward got up and stood behind me. "You are throwing your whole body into it," he placed his hands on my waist.

No one seemed to care about our displays of affection out in public. No one even glanced in our direction. The only person who did was Eric. The way he sat down looking at us as his arms were folded across his chest was if he was willing in his mind for me to disappear.

"I believe he does not think I'm suited to assist your mother," Edward broke me away from mine and Eric's stare.

I cleared my throat and began to throw small punches at the bag. My fingers stung with every throw and I was still leaning far too much into the blow. "What makes you say that?"

"He informed me that initiation is not a time for fraternizing," answered Edward. "You are proving to be a distraction for me."

"Perhaps I am," I said softly hitting the punching bag again. "You're going to be so worried about helping me that you might not get first ranking."

"Myra," Edward pulled away from the bag and held my two hands in his. "You are not distracting me. You know that I am only using Eric to get more information about your Mother and her plans. The more I have the more the Council will be able to assist us. We'll get through this together."

Together, I thought as I leaned my head against Edward's chest. There was so much care for me wrapped up in this one man. Despite seeing how he moved out there on the mat, I knew that he had nothing but love, kindness, and respect towards me. As I said before it was something that I was hardly ever afforded in Erudite.

"You need to be careful, Edward," I closed my eyes as I listened to his heart beat. Edward's soft hands soothed my hair and he pressed an always gentle kiss to my forehead. "Eric is Erudite born. He may sniff you out before you even get the chance."

"I know how to play at their games," he said pulling back.

"Please, Edward," I pleaded. "Eric, he's," I paused and shook my head. "Well he's just something else. He's not the same as he once was." My eyes went back to Eric to see his head tilt at me. He had been observing mine and Edward's conversation this entire time.

"Will," Eric yelled while keeping his eyes trained on me.

"Yes sir," Will turned around slowly with a pale expression.

"In the ring," ordered Eric.

"They're not ready," our initiation instructor, Four had tried to reason with Eric. "They're not even close enough to..."

"Myra," Eric shouted after me.

I gulped and looked down. Was he calling me to...

"Let's see the two of you fight," Eric's voice boomed.

Yes, Eric had wanted us to fight. And he didn't put me against just anybody either. It was someone who I had grown up with. This was someone who I went to classes, study hall, and the library with. Edward pulled me against him.

"You have to hit him Myra."

"I can't. He's our friend," I told Edward.

"I know he is but this is a test. This is all part of initiation. You need to."

"But I," I shook my head and looked down. Edward gave me a few other pieces of advice before we made our way towards the mat.

My fight with Will was difficult. Will was not as masculine as Edward and did not have the quickness as Edward did. He was quick enough however. The ground never felt so hard and the pain never felt as bad as until I was taken off my feet and slammed into the fighting mat. There was hesitation on Will's part to hit me here and there. Eric began to yell at him to finish the fight. I could see the apologetic look Will gave both Edward and I before he delivered his last blow. It was thoroughly discouraging. I felt like Eric had it out for me and maybe he did.

I struggled after that, being unable to combat whoever Eric had put me against. I had even gotten beaten by some Candor kid a couple days later. Both times I had landed myself in the infirmary and was not allowed any guests. Even Edward had been turned away from the nurses there. Later on I had found out that someone had ordered them to keep it that way.

"You should go back to Erudite." I closed my eyes and turned my head away from him. "Your mother will still take you back," Eric added his face emotionless as ever.

"What makes you think she'll allow me, someone who openly disrespected her in front of everyone at the choosing ceremony, to go back to Erudite," I asked.

"It is because she told me so."

"I knew it. I knew somehow this was all your doing."

"Enlighten me, Matthews," Eric ordered.

"You pitted me against people you knew would break me," I explained as my bottom lip began to tremble.

I bit on it hoping I would not shed a tear. I was done crying over Eric a long time ago. I wasn't about to do it now.

"You are purposely making it difficult for me to be here. I couldn't fight people like Will or that Candor kid. You knew it. You're making me fail just so that I can reconsider going back to Erudite, going back to my mother."

"Yes," was Eric's reply. "I did place you against them with a purpose but it wasn't for the reason you believe."

"Enlighten me then, Coulter."

"You learn nothing if I were to place you with someone who isn't able to fight. If I place you with someone as equally bad, you gain nothing. It would be as if I were to assign you addition problems when I know very well that you could solve algebraic calculations. The things that I do are meant to better you. Besides I thought," I heard him step closer. "You enjoy a challenge," he taunted.

"That was not a challenge," I sat up and yelled. Upon sitting up, I noticed just how close he had gotten to my bed. "You had me fight Will, someone who I had grown up with. You knew I wouldn't hit him."

"You should have hit him though. It was a fight."

"Edward said the same thing."

"Then you should have listened to your boyfriend, Myra! Now look at yourself!"

"I am looking at myself. I am in an infirmary bed, beaten and bloody because you took it upon yourself to, as you put it 'challenge me'. That's sick Eric! You knew I was going to fail. You set me up for failure."

"Haven't you been listening to anything I've been telling you? You're supposed to progress, yet here you are unwilling to budge or go any further."

"That's because you keep throwing obstacles in my way."

"I'm not exactly supposed to hand membership to Dauntless out on a silver platter," Eric retorted. "Here you go, initiate," he mocked and held up his hands. "It's all yours. That's bullshit! Everyone works hard. Everyone sweats and bleeds to get into Dauntless and just because I care about you, doesn't make you an exception." Something he said finally caught my attention but I was too upset to decipher it. "Get your head out of your ass Myra. You're dead last and I can't do anything to protect you now!"

Eric's words shocked me. I looked down the same time Eric did. Not only once but twice he had stated something in there that reminded me of the old Eric. It all came crashing down on me at once. There was a side of Eric that still cared about me too.

"You're protecting me," I asked him. My voice was so soft but I know he heard me because he replied.

"Of course," Eric's voice was just as low. "I'd always protect you."

"Eric, I still..."

"Stop it," Eric said loudly taking a step back. I saw his face harden once more. "I won't get sucked into this again. I won't," he shook his head.

"It doesn't have to be like this Eric," I pleaded. "You and I can still have our chance together."

"You're going to say that while you're still holding on to Edward?"

"My mother choose him for me! You pushed me away! What was I supposed to do?"

Eric scoffed and started to pace in front of my bed. "Of course you're innocent in all of this. Sweet little Myra," he shook his head.

"I fought for us Eric. I gave it all that I could to keep you from leaving, to keep you by my side. I tried Eric. You were the one who made the decision to leave. You were the one who gave me no other choice! Don't you dare tell me that I didn't try!"

"I did it all for you Myra!"

"You left Erudite for me? That makes no sense, Eric!"

"Do you realize she chose me not just because of my test scores," he said softer and less angry. "Jeanine chose me because I was in love with you Myra. The truth of the matter is that she said I could have you once I completed my task."

I shook my head and looked down as our yelling had died and silence overtook the room. It was like the entire infirmary had stilled in this moment.

"You already had me, Eric," I told him.

"No I didn't. In Erudite, I never truly could. Your mother would have ruined any chance of us being together. She would have made sure of it," Eric concluded.

Something told me that Eric was right that my mother's promise to let him have me, meant to be in an uninterrupted relationship. The truth of the matter was that she did not like Eric Coulter. His father had wronged her in some way. Our families had bad blood yet none of that stopped me from befriending him and eventually falling for him.

"We can still have it, Eric. I know we can. We can have our chance..."

"You shouldn't have come here Myra. You should have stayed in Erudite, gotten married to that guy that your mother wanted you to," he waved his hand. "I don't want to hope anything just because you're here."

"Why are you doing this? Why are you insistent on letting me go when I'm right here? I'm right here Eric! I care about you and it's obvious you care about me too," I said as he looked away. "Let's forget about this past year."

"No."

"Why not," I cried.

"Because I am a leader and I have a job to do."

"Always," I looked away and finally let the tear slip. "Always my mother before me, your responsibilities before your heart, your job before your wants," I listed. "Answer me this one question, Eric. Do you still love me?"

Eric reached over and touched my cheek. "Go back to Erudite, Myra. I hate having to make you get beaten up every time you get into the ring."

Obviously he was trying to send me a message, a message that said I didn't belong here in Dauntless. To do that he made Will and that Candor kid beat me. I leaned into his hand wishing that my Eric would come back, not this monster that stood in front of me. It was a wish that would never come true because like lightning Eric withdrew his hand and left the infirmary.

He cared about me but it wasn't enough. Eric had never truly answered the question, saying either 'yes' or 'no'. Instead he told me to leave. The situation stood as it was that despite our love for one another, Eric would continue to follow my mother's orders. No matter where I went I had not escaped her. She truly owned Eric more than I ever could.

When I was permitted to leave that night, the doctor gave me some last minute instructions on what to do if I feel my pain coming back. I nodded my head because I had already knew it, not merely from hearing it from my first fight but from learning about it in school and also back in Erudite.

"Oh yes, there is one more thing," the doctor said and handed me a small slip. "Eric said this was to be given to you. It is rather important."

I took the paper and hurried out of the infirmary to read it quickly. It was short and only contained two sentences. Quickly, I crumpled it up and threw it into the Chasm. My mother was coming for a progress report and to take me back to Erudite.

When Edward and I had been bought to Eric's office there she sat in Eric's desk chair, as though this was her office and only hers.

"Myra darling," she smiled and motioned for me to sit.

"I rather stand."

"You do not look well," she turned from me to Eric. "I thought you assured me that you would watch over her."

"I have been doing my best but your daughter is not succeeding here. It is best that she return with you," was Eric's response.

I did not understand now. I thought my mother wanted me back. Eric had told me such a thing in the infirmary that she would take me back. However, judging from that statement as well as the look on her face, something told me that Eric was lying. Either one of two things, he was hoping that it would be so hard on me that I would beg my mother to take me back or Jeanine would take pity on her only daughter because of the state I was in and demand my return.

"I rather stay," I spoke quickly before my mother could say anything. "I could be of some assistance to your plan, Mother."

"Jeanine, with all due respect," Eric cut in. "Myra is a true Erudite. There is very little that she can do here. There isn't a bone in her body or a fragment of her mind that screams Dauntless."

"She was brave enough to cut her hand and come here in the first place," Edward shot back.

"You encouraged her to do that didn't you," Eric glared at him.

"I encouraged her to be her own person."

"At what risk," Eric questioned. "Her life is in danger far more than ever for coming here. Initiation is not pleasant. If she had stayed in Erudite..."

"That will be enough," Jeanine stood as both men quieted down. "Edward reminded me of something. I do not like that you left in the fashion that you did. You made me look far worse than Abnegation's leader when his son quit that faction. You know how appearances are for me, Myra. And though my heart takes pity on your distressed state," she said as I contained myself not to roll my eyes at her stating she has a heart. "Consider your first month here of getting beaten here as punishment," she concluded.

"This is punishment for making my own choices?"

"Punishment for embarrassing me," she replied. "As further justice upon my name, you will stay here."

"What," Eric began but with one look my mother silenced him yet again.

"Myra will stay. You will do everything in your power to rank her enough to stay in Dauntless," she ordered Eric. "You will infiltrate Dauntless behind the scenes," she then instructed to me. "You will understand their inner workings, schedules, codes, any other computer program here," she listed.

"I have already done that," Eric started.

"Do not interrupt me, Mr. Coulter. You may be a leader here at Dauntless but let us not forget who put you there," my mother glared at him. "And to rebuff your statement, no you have not been doing that. If you had then the Divergent would not be slipping out from under your nose as they have for the past two years! Edward will help you secure the Dauntless leadership stays loyal to me and Myra will ensure that nothing escapes your notice. Are we clear?"

"Yes, ma'am," we all responded.

"Good," she smiled. "Now," she began walking towards the door. "Do some work for a change and stop crying about it to me. If I have to come back here to this filthy place I will remove all of you from my good graces."