Author's Note: Thanks for the comments and reviews! I'm stuck on Chapter 7 now; I might go ahead and write 8 and 9, then come back to it. Still no one close to the theme. Remember: a set with a certain number and sequence. KlingonGal, I'll PM you my first idea for the Star Trek gag at the end.
Chapter 4
It was another fund-raiser for the Jeffersonian, another "command performance" for the Medico-Legal Team. And to make sure that everyone attended, Cam had instructed each of them to bring their "party clothes" to work - they would be leaving straight from the lab to the gathering.
Booth found himself actually dreading this gathering more than previous ones. This would be the first public "outing" of him and Bones as a couple, and her pregnancy was just starting to show. He wouldn't just be there as the FBI liaison, but as Bones' "plus one." Luckily, as he didn't technically answer to Cam, he had managed to swing home and change into his tux there - avoiding teasing at work.
He ducked into Bones' office. "Come on, Bones, we're gonna be... whoa." He stopped cold, jaw dropping open. Dr. Temperance Brennan was wearing the most amazing dress. Dark red, tight in all the right spots, flowing in others, low cut in certain key areas, it shimmered as she moved. In some odd way, it reminded him of sand dunes in the wind. The only thing setting it off was her scowl.
"Bones, you look... wow."
"It's about time. I'm in trouble, and it's your fault."
"Huh? I just got here!"
She spun around, showing him the back of the dress. It was just as elegant and gorgeous from that angle - except for the big v-shaped gap in the rear. "I can't zip it up. When it was fitted for me, I wasn't pregnant, and I could close it without assistance. But thanks to you and your exceptionally motile sperm, I require assistance in closing it up."
Booth chuckled. "Now, Bones, just hold still." He firmly pulled the top of each side and pulled them together, then carefully eased the zipper up. Once it was secure, he folded the flaps over the zipper. "There you go. Just be careful tonight. No sit-ups, no arm wrestling, and take it easy on the hors d'oeuvres." He then ducked as she swiped at him with her matching clutch. "And it isn't all my fault. It takes two to tango - my swimmers only did half the job."
She sighed and took his arm. "Come on, Booth. Let's collect the rest of the team and head out - Cam's got a limousine waiting."
There wasn't much gathering to be done. The rest of the team was assembled at the door - except for Hodgins. "Angela, where's that husband of yours?"
Angela sighed. "Cam, you know he hates these things."
"Yes, and you know I don't care. We all have to go, and that includes him. Now where is he?"
"He's in his lab, doing some experiments."
Booth was immediately driven to be the peacemaker. "Cam, we'll go get him." He took Bones by the elbow, and they quickly stepped off to get him.
In the lab, Hodgins was still in his lab coat. "Come on, Hodgins, we're gonna be late. We all know you hate these things, but this time there's no avoiding it. Cam's on the warpath."
Hodgins didn't move from the beakers. "Hang on, I'm almost done here. And don't worry - I'm suited up under this. I just can't leave this alone at this point."
"Sorry, bug-man. Command performance. Everyone's waiting on you - your boss, your wife, and most importantly, me." Booth took him by the arm and pulled him away from the table.
"No, no, wait! I just need another three minutes! If I stop now, it'll..."
FOOMP!
"...blow," he finished lamely.
Most of the room was covered in a fine, granular material. Including Hodgins, Booth, and Bones. Booth noted, with just a hint of amusement, that it was a near-perfect match for Bones' dress. However, it was a terrible match for her hair. Her eyes started burning with a terrible fury.
Booth sighed. "Congratulations, Hodgins. You just managed to not only keep yourself out of this party, but got us out of it, too. And did I mention that this tux is a rental?"
Cam stuck her head in the door. "What's the holdup, and what was that sound?" She took in the freshly-dusted lab at a glance. "Oh, hell no, Hodgins. You are NOT getting out of this party that easily. What is that stuff?"
"It's a granulated form of..."
"Never mind. Just give me yes or no answers. Is it combustible?"
"No."
"Caustic?"
"No."
"Toxic?"
"No."
"Would it pose any dangers if it were to be vacuumed up by the hand-held vacs we use for minor spills?"
"No."
"Good." She stuck her head out the door and bellowed. "Angela! Sweets! Miss Wick! Go get three hand-vacs, and get in here!"
Once the entire team was assembled, Cam handed out the vacuums. "Angela, you clean up your husband. Miss Wick, you assist Dr. Brennan. I'll work on Booth. Come on, people, we have five minutes to get these people back up to party-ready."
Sweets, trying not to laugh, stood by the door. "What can I do to help, Dr. Saroyan?"
Cam carefully considered the question. "You can think about the most painful psychological torture I can legally inflict on Hodgins for making this mess."
It took slightly more than five minutes, but in the end nearly all the granules were removed and the group ready to go. Ironically, Hodgins was finished first; his lab gear had done its job. Booth had been the most difficult; the granules seemed to have a serious affinity for his tuxedo. He'd been very insistent that he would never go out in public in a red shirt - or even a shirt with a hint of red in or on it. And he refused to explain it.
Cam, setting down the vacuum, turned to Sweets. "Any suggestions, Doctor?"
"Well, considering his apathy for such events, you could order him to coordinate another fund-raising dinner... or even host it at his home."
Hodgins spun around. "What? No way!"
Cam smiled. "I will definitely take that under advisement, Dr. Sweets. Now, ladies and gentlemen, we have a party to attend to." With that, they left the lab, the red granules crunching under their feet.
