Black Stained
Chapter 4: Mirrors and Memories
They all sat by the fire that evening after dinner, which had been extensive considering Molly's state. Aral hadn't eaten this much in four weeks and she was certain she was going to explode if she only just thought about taking one more bite of the delicious chocolat cake. The only light in the house came from the fire, the flames dancing and whirling in the soft wind. Harry and Ron as usual played wizard's chess, while George and Ginny spectated. Hermione was curled up in the big armchair right next to the fire, reading a big book, which she probably considered to be 'light' reading. Arthur read some papers, secretly glancing at Molly as if he was checking up on her. Aral understood his concern for the woman, she looked tired and very, very sad. Aral looked around, actually everyone did. They all looked very tired and upset. She sat on the floor and looked at a shining piece of furniture, which reflected her face. She too seemed to be sad and tired, she frowned at herself, wasn't it what she usually looked like? She blinked a few times and looked away, directly into the flames.
Sometimes she thought she saw figures dancing or animals hopping around, I must be really tired, she thought. She hadn't realized only she and George were still up, everyone else had gone to bed. The fire was now strugling to stay on, there was hardly any wood left.
George stared at her, he didn't know how long he had been sitting there just staring, but he reckoned it must have been a while now. Aral was just staring into the flames, not noticing him. He was thinking about his brother's odd behaviour around her, he always seemed to change a bit. Fred had fancied her for a while now, He thought to himself, curling his lips up a bit at the memory of Fred who wanted to cancel a prank, because Aral happened to be the victim. The memories of his brother made him sad, but he could cope with it. Everyone thought he was on the verge of a break down. He had been, yes, but he learned to cope with it. Aral seemed to have too, he had noticed her watery eyes at the funeral, but she still looked strong and beautiful. He understood why his brother had fancied her, not that he did of course, she was nice, but never had a relationship with him as his brother had. She was beautiful, but also very intelligent and kind, she was witty and sarcasm was her second nature, which made her very nice company. She was just perfect, he didn't understand why she hadn't done the ceremony, as he said she was perfect. Curiosity rose up in him and he couldn't help but ask.
'Aral,' He started silenty.
She jolted at his voice, looking up quickly, seeing it was George her eyes -which had been widened- softened. She thought I was Fred... George realized pained.
She looked around noticing everyone had gone to bed already and replied softly. 'Yes?'
'Why didn't you do the ceremony?' He asked trying not to sound desperate.
He didn't understand the look on her face. It was... what was it? He couldn't figure it out.
'I didn't feel like I was the right person.' She looked straight at him, trying to convince him with her eyes. 'Like I told Molly and Arthur.'
George looked away from her green eyes, not being able to look at her eyes for some unknown reason. 'I thought you would have been perfect.'
The words did more damage than George would ever know. She stared in the small, dying flames again, hoping the gentle heat could dry her eyes.
'Fred thought you were perfect.'
Those words made her fill with quilt and the following words were supposed to come out not as snappy. 'I am not.'
Upon hearing herself she looked down at her hands.
Fred stayed quiet and the air filled with a tansion, she had to break it, not liking the tansion between them.
'I'm sorry, it came out harsher than intended.' She explained weakly.
'I know.' Was his only response, while staring at her again.
He could only stare if she didn't look back. They sat like this for a few more moments, finally they broke the scene and both stood up. Muttering goodnight with a final hug. For a moment Aral thought it was Fred, but as much as she wanted to believe it was true she pushed away the imagination. And they headed upstairs.
Back at her appartment again, Aral missed the busy and cosy Burrow and its residents, but she knew she couldn't go back there. Too many memories and remindings of how good things were before the war. She sighed and looked at her phone, seeing she had one missed call from her boss. Her boss, a friendly and a huge do-gooder, had left a message asking if she wanted to start early shifts the following week, promising her a week off at christmas. The thoughts of spending christmas at the Burrow couldn't be stopped, she could already feel the cozy sweater Molly would knit for her and the smell of Molly's amazing cooking in her nose. Everyone will be there, the Weasley's, Harry, Hermione... A gnawing feeling made its way through Aral. She would tell her boss she would take the offer, but would still consider the christmas vacation, after all she needed the money.
Three months later
The animal shop where she worked was small put overflowed with animals. There was hardly any time to take a breath between the treatments. But after a long day of work her paycheck always looked promising. When she arrived home with her hands filled with bags of food, she noticed the owls in her window, she opened it quickly and took the three letters. She gave the owls quickly a treat before they left and started opening the letters.
The first was from Ginny.
'Dear Aral,
I've been trying to convince Harry to stop chasing the journalists. He thinks they are trying to get secrets out of him, while I believe they just want to photograph the golden couple on a date. He can sometimes be so stubborn, just like you.' Aral rolled her eyes at the statement.
'Now, I wanted to have some girl time again, with just us and Hermione. What about a sleep over or a nice day out shopping? I have something to tell you guys.'
Yeah, your engagement. Aral knew, Harry had consulted her in how to do it, he was so bloody nervous. Aral grunted at the idea of a sleep over, it never really was her thing, and it meant she had to go to the Burrow again. She didn't miss it as much as when she just came back, and she tried to keep it that way.
'We haven't heard much from you... And I know I've asked you this already like a hundred times, but...
Will you please come and visit? It has been a while now and we miss you, we really do.' The christmas vacation... Aral couldn't help but think about it. Well, she really didn't have a choice, did she? She has to come sometime.
'Oh, and I included an article from the daily prophet, in case you haven't read it yet. It's about Harry and me, I think it is rather funny but Harry kind of wanted to incinerate the journalist.
Love, Ginny and Harry'
Aral quickly scanned the article, finding it funny too and opened her next letter. It was from the ministry. She frowned while she opened it, what business did she have with the ministry? After reading the letter it apparently wasn't of such importance, just that they wanted to let her know someone was going to stop by for evaluation, considering she was a war hero and wasn't quite present in the wizarding world. She dropped the letter on her desk and opened the third. It was from Molly, asking her to visit the Burrow again. And asking if she wanted to come over for christmas, saying everyone was going to be there and she would cook and there will be presents... Aral shook her head, that woman was a very persuasive person if she wanted to be.
She responded to the letters, telling Ginny and Molly her plans to come over for christmas. She informed the ministry that the date they had set was available for her. Now she couldn't wait till christmas, and slowly a positive feeling bulged up inside her, she finally had something to look forward to again. She just had to wait for a while.
After dinner she sat on her couch eating chocolat icecream. She was pondering over why she didn't visit the Burrow, while she obviously missed it. What was her reason to stay at home, living in muggle-london and not visit the Weasley's where she could feel sort of... happy. She kept sitting there for a while, until it was time to take a shower and go to bed.
When she lay in bed and tried to sleep she was still thinking about it and turned around, laying her left arm next to her head. She then saw it, the thing that pained her and kept her away from the Burrow. How could she even not think about it? What had kept her mind of? There, on her arm was the dark mark, imprinted on her skin, embedded for life. She remembered the moment it had happened, when the dark lord had put the tip of his wand on her arm and the ink flew into her veins and onto her skin, branded for life. It had been so painful, she whimpered by the memory of it. She had given up, had stopped fighting. The reason why she never wore short sleeves or would go swimming. Not just because the death eaters always were despised, but also because no one knew. Not Harry, not Hermione, not the Weasley's. Maybe some death eaters, but they would never say a word about it. The mark also represented her regret for not being able to maintain to fight against the dark. She had given up, Harry once said she never gave up, that she was strong. But she had, she had done terribly. She felt the tears swell up in her eyes and drops spilled from her eyes onto her pillow. Her mind now filled with every terrible that had happened in the war. The deaths, pain, the capture and her torture, the endless torture...
'You're weak.' She remembered Voldemort say. She never thought she would, but she agreed, she was weak. She silently cried the rest of the night.
Christmas came around quickly, it was time already to go to the Burrow. Aral wondered if she would regret her decision. She prepared a bag and took it with her to work, finishing some work and said goobye to her boss.
'Merry christmas!' She cheered. 'Oh, and a happy new year!' She creemed after that.
Aral laughed while heading for the door, before she walked out she turned around and said: 'I'll be back by then already.'
Her boss waved away her comment with the words: 'Well, have it any way!'
With a last smile Aral left and called a cab on the street, gave him an adress nearest to the Burrow. This time she wore flat boots, she had learned her lesson since last time. When she was dropped of she set of on her fifteen minute hike, through woods and fields.
She arrived around one o'clock, enthusiasticly greeted by Molly and Arthur. Shortly after, they were joined by Harry and Ginny who just came from their apartment in Diagon Alley. The day after that, on tuesday, Hermione arrived. Aral and Hermione were now being dragged by Ginny, up the stairs to her room. She was glowing and closed the door.
'Oh, I have missed you so much!' She said, while hugging both of them.
'We missed you too Ginny.' Hermione said.
Aral laughed in agreement. 'Of course we have.'
Ginny pushed them both on the bed, and said down on her chair. 'Well then, tell me all about the adventures you have had, that I have been missing out on.'
Hermione started, telling all about her study at hogwarts and about how few have showed up to finish their school education.
Ginny and Aral laughed and at the same time exclaimed: 'Well, not everyone is mad to return to school!' Hermione laughed with them and then continued telling. She had taken as expected an amazing amount of classes, but of course succeeded in getting O's on all her subjects. She told all about the new teachers and how nice the new potion's professor was.
'How, in Merlin's beard, can a potion professor be nice?' Ginny argued.
'Well, Sluckhorn wasn't that bad.' Aral mentioned.
'He had an elite club he favoured.' Ginny objected.
'Yeah, and he was a terrible teacher, I never understood what he was saying.' Hermione stated, making them all laugh, remembering the dull teacher.
'Now you.' Ginny proclaimed at Aral.
'Me?' Aral sighed. 'Well, as you two know I still live in Muggle-London in my dull apartment, with my dull neighbours and pay my rent with my dull job. Well, actually my job isn't that dull. I get to have sick cats and dogs puking over my clothes and need to get rid of their fleas.' Aral joked.
'Then why don't you visit?' Ginny asked frowning.
Aral didn't know what to say. Because I feel very guilty and sad when I come here, while I also feel a bit happier and have to cope with all the remindings in this house of the people we lost in the war. And because I'm a branded death eater, but never told you and hate myself for it. Oh, well that should go well.
'Well, it's just...' She paused trying to think of a good sort of excuse, while looking at her hands playing with the threads of her shirt.
Hermione put a hand on her shoulder and softly asked: 'Fred?'
Aral thought about it for a moment, realizing that a part of the reason probably was Fred, not all of it of course. Ginny looked at her with sad eyes, still pained by the loss.
'Fred.' Aral sighed.
