Author's Note: Actual teenager Seto Kaiba is great. Mostly because he's even more hopeless than regular teenagers.
Relationship
Seto looked through his closet one last time, then turned and flopped onto his bed. "Ugh."
Mokuba finally looked up from his book, a piece of licorice hanging out of his mouth. "What's wrong?" he asked, slurping the string into his mouth.
The brunet lifted his head to grimace at him. "Mokuba, that's gross. Don't make that sound while I'm lamenting my lack of social intelligence."
"You're plenty intelligent," the younger boy argued. "What? You know PR always picks out your clothes for your appearances."
Seto groaned and shoved his head under a pillow. "Lisa wrote in that she won't help me dress for personal matters."
Mokuba perked up. He hadn't heard anything about a personal outing. "If it's a duel, just wear your usual turtleneck and trench coat. Also, I don't think Yugi would mind if you wore just the turtleneck. Or the sleeveless turtleneck. I'm almost afraid that if you go out in this heat, you'll get heat stroke and die, and I couldn't possibly go to school and run a company like you did."
'Damn right you couldn't,' the brunet thought obstinately. "It's not for a duel."
The younger boy perked up further, teetering on the edge of his seat in the window seat. "Oh yeah?"
Seto peeked up at him, eyes squinted suspiciously. "…Yeah."
"A… meeting with a small business owner or charity that Lisa doesn't know about?" he prodded, since his brother wasn't being forthcoming. "Or so small she doesn't care?"
The brunet sighed loudly and with feeling. "No."
Mokuba stood and stomped over to him, scowling. He smacked his brother on the side with all the love and affection and frustration only a truly caring brother could have. "What are you dressing for?!"
Seto shoved his head under his pillow again. "I've got a date." He groaned again, louder, when the younger boy hopped on top of him and bounced. "Please don't break me."
"You've got a date and you kept it a secret from me!" Mokuba crowed. "You're keeping secrets! That's great!" In any other family, it would be terrible, but sometimes Seto told him about his one night stands, so learning to keep secrets was a step up.
"Please stop bouncing me," Seto groaned, reaching back to swat at him weakly.
"When is your date? Where are you going? Man, Lisa's gonna be so mad," the younger boy continued cheerily, rushing over to his brother's closet. "She's always talking about how she wishes she could dress you for a date instead of letting you be seen in a suit all the time. This is so great!"
The brunet rolled over onto his back and stared up at the canopy of his bed forlornly. "It doesn't matter. I'm going to fuck it up."
Mokuba rolled his eyes and pulled out a few shirts. "You are not. Where are you going?"
"Just Burger World and then for a walk in the park." He wanted to do something extravagant, but apparently that was bad form for a casual first date.
"So, casual," the younger boy muttered, putting a silk shirt back in the closet. He turned to look at his brother, hummed, then turned and put a button-up shirt back in the closet as well. "I hope she likes biceps, 'cause she's getting biceps."
"Biceps?" Seto asked, sitting up. He flailed when a shirt was flung in his face, nearly toppling off the bed, then sat up straight and held it up. He grimaced. "This is my workout shirt, Mokuba. I can't wear my workout shirt!"
Mokuba gave him his best unimpressed look. "Yes you can. Also, you hang your workout clothes?"
"…I have them ironed, too," the brunet muttered, falling back and covering his face with his shirt, since his pillow was now out of reach.
Mokuba seriously considered moving out of the country and changing his name, just so he couldn't be related to his incredibly weird brother.
"Anyway, I'm not wearing my workout—UNGH." He groaned and rolled onto his side, curling up in a ball as his stomach clenched and spasmed with pain. "What did you just throw at me!?"
"One of your dominatrix boots." Mokuba pulled out a hanger holding a pair of neatly folded jeans.
Seto pulled his shirt off his face and glared at him, wheezing, "They are not dominatrix boots!"
"Dominatrix boots," the younger boy whispered, then grabbed some tennis shoes and trotted over to him. "Here, put these on." He pulled his brother into a sitting position. "She'll either faint or run away screaming, and I've seen you doing pull-ups. She's not going to run away screaming with those guns."
Seto halfheartedly flexed his right arm. Well, he supposed his arms were nice. "I don't think he'll appreciate it as much as you think, but we can hope."
"He?" Mokuba blinked, surprised. When he saw his brother beginning to shift uncomfortably, he hurriedly added, "If you like guys, that's okay too! I'm not judging!"
"You're judging me a little," the brunet muttered petulantly, pulling his sweater over his head.
Mokuba huffed out a laugh, lip quirking up in a half-smile. "I'm mostly still judging you for ironing your workout clothes and hanging them in the closet."
"It's not that weird!" Seto bellowed, shoving him.
.-.-.-.-.-.
Seto glanced at his reflection in the mirror on his way out the door, then paused, frowning. "What the hell did you do to my hair?"
Mokuba leaned over the railing of the stairs to look down at him. "It's the style that all the guys are sporting these days!"
The brunet's nose wrinkled in distaste. "All the guys at your school?"
"Well, yeah."
"Mokuba, I'm not twelve."
Mokuba blinked, surprised, then squinted down at him. "Yeah, I can see that. Okay, you can shake it out."
"I don't know if I can," Seto muttered, lifting his hands to rake his fingers through his hair. "You put so much gel in my hair, it feels like cement."
"Maybe that's how Yugi's hair feels. Stick your hair up!" the younger boy called down.
Seto did, just out of curiosity. He stared at his hair, then hurriedly began flattening it again. "Yeah, I can't pull that off." He got his hair into some semblance of neatness, stared at himself in the mirror again, and sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets.
He supposed his arms did look nice in this shirt. And his jeans made his ass look good. He wished he could change his shoes, though. These were the shoes he wore when he had to pick Mokuba up from school on parent-teacher day and actually sprint back to the car from all the parents and teachers that were trying to flirt with him. He did not have good memories of these shoes.
Seto sighed, frowning, then trudged out to the garage to get into the least flashy car he owned. Maybe he'd make some new, better memories in them.
.-.-.-.-.-.
Joey looked a little surprised when he finally caught sight of him. Seto wondered if that was a good thing or a bad thing, considering that Joey usually had neutral reactions of greeting him at this point.
Joey smiled as he approached and reached out to grab the hem of his tank top. "Hubba hubba. Damn, Kaiba, who knew ya had those guns under there?"
Seto smirked because he didn't know how not to be smug in regards to compliments, even as he surreptitiously patted the gun he had hidden in its holster. Roland made him promise to carry it whenever he didn't have a full security detail. He hoped that Joey wouldn't notice it.
"Hope this means ya know how t' eat," the blond continued, dragging him into the diner. "If ya order a salad, I'm judgin' you."
"Salads come with meat," Seto pointed out, sliding into the same side of the booth and hooking an arm over his shoulder because Joey had given him an inch and he was going to damn well take a mile. "Besides, if you use enough salad dressing, it actually stops being healthy. Those things are full of fat and sugar."
"Yeah? Gross," the younger boy answered, not bothering to look at the menu. "I'mma get a double bacon cheeseburger and fries. An' a chocolate milkshake. What are you getting?"
"Uh." Seto peered at the menu, because he actually had never been in Burger World for longer than it took to pick up Mokuba from hanging out with his friends. "The same? But strawberry."
"Man after my own heart," the blond cooed, grinning. "When we make out it'll taste like chocolate-covered strawberries."
Seto stared at him, frowning. "Are you always this forward? Aren't we supposed to wait until the third date to make out?"
"Kaiba, do I look like the kind of guy who does things normal—Wait." Joey narrowed his eyes at him, then grinned, eyes going wide and bright. "Oh my God, did you do research on this? Didja look up stuff for first dates and datin' etiquette?!"
Seto turned and wondered if he should throw himself onto that table of teenage girls. It would be a coward's death, but at the moment, he didn't much feel like a hero.
"That's adorable. Oh my God, my sister's gonna die." Joey gasped. "Téa is gonna die! Man, they're gonna be so jealous that you're such a gentleman. Not too gentle, though," he added when the brunet looked at him in confusion. He punched his arm playfully. "Man, makin' out with you is gonna be great."
Seto got the feeling that this out-of-control feeling rising up in him would be a constant whenever he was with Joey. He placed his hand on the blond's thigh and smiled a little when Joey blushed in surprise. He could deal with feeling out of control for a while.
