You mean Nothing

In all the years that Gray has known her, he had never let himself get too close. They were friends, fellow guild members, and companions, nothing more and nothing less. There were times when it almost felt like they were beginning to progress but upon realizing this, Gray would immediately reign himself in. He is aware of her affections, but in his mind, he simply shrugs it off as infatuation. He catches all her loving and shy glances but he ignores them to the best of his abilities. He knows how she does special things for him, but he plays them off as unnecessary.

He also knows how hard he tries to deny himself.

Gray was a firm believer in karma. He also believed in the random repetition of occurrences that have plagued him through all the years of his existence. If it happened in the past, he knows it can happen again. Everyone knows how tragic his earlier years were. They know of his self-inflicted guilt and his connotations of him being the cause of all his misfortunes. How can he not be? How do all the important people in his life just die around him?

Gray had already deduced that in all those times, he was the common factor.

As a result, it had become an instinct for him to maintain a distance from everyone. That included Juvia.

Most of all Juvia.

With every loving gift she offer him and with every word of encouragement and adoration she throws his way, Gray finds himself in a dilemma. He can feel himself slipping into that familiar and pleasant feeling of being needed, if only he can let go of the warnings blaring in his head, telling him that this was dangerous territory. Indeed it was dangerous for Gray to ever let Juvia mean something to him. He can handle being her friend, sometimes even her protector. But that was all he could manage.

At least that's what he lets himself believe.

It would be in both their best interests to remain friends. Feelings were something Gray knows would only complicate matters. If by some miracle, she does stay with him, Gray was sure that one of these days she would also leave him, in ways that he could not even fathom nor bare to think. This was for the best.

So when he feels her small hand slowly creep into his, he shuts himself off again. He suppresses the shudder that threatens to flow through his body. He denies the warmth that her palm offers by purposely keeping his temperature cold. Gray gives her one thing though, and that is his compliance.

She may touch him however she likes, but she knows better than to expect him to reciprocate it. The best he can do for her is simply allow her advances. He may grumble or complain in the beginning, but they both know that he would never deprive her of anything, least of all his physical body.

This is something they both acknowledge, something they do not need to verbalize.

Gray does not understand why Juvia still stays by his side. He does not get why she seeks to touch someone who does not touch her in the same way. What he does know is that Juvia is extremely patient with him, always letting him sift through the motions. With that observation, Gray concludes one thing.

She plans to wear him out. Until he succumbs. Until he can take it no longer.

Gray scoffs at the idea, but deep inside him, panic swells at the admittance that it could happen. Squaring his shoulders, Gray disciplines himself. If Juvia wanted him, she would have to wait it out for a very very long time. If she was extremely patient, then he would be excessively stubborn.

As if listening in to his thoughts, Juvia beams up at him, her face flushed and her eyes clear. Once again Gray tells himself that she is insignificant. He looks at her passively and denies the ache in his chest at the plain love written all over her face. He tells himself that he does not need it. He tells himself that he is not losing. He tells himself that she is nothing to him.

Over and over he recites the words.

Hoping that by repeating them in his head, his heart would get the idea and stop racing so fast.


Hi guys! Thank you very much for reading this. :)

I am now open to any suggestions or ideas that you guys might have for the next stories. A simple word will do.