Haley jerked when the door slammed, looking up as Tommy stormed into the waiting area. He passed her without a second glance.
Fumbling with her palm pilot she nearly dropped the device before she could shove it back inside her purse, forgetting all about the text message she'd been writing to the day manager of the Cyberspace.
Usually she drove to the cafe and worked for a half hour before returning to drive Tommy home. Today she'd realized that she desperately needed a few minutes of tranquility.
A large pond had been built into the far wall of the waiting area. Water bubbled out from a mound of rocks and trickled down to where koi swam beneath water lilies. Between the soothing noises of the water, warm colors decorating the walls, and the various greenery jutting from every conceivable nook and cranny, it was a very relaxing place to spend an hour.
A fist hitting the wall made her flinch.
Petals fell to the floor. Haley didn't say anything...just watched him circle the room like a caged panther. One that had just been poked repeatedly with a sharp stick and would love to claw the eyes out of the next person that got close enough.
Give it time, she told herself. It seemed like more harm then good came from these sessions. But despite herself, despite the fact that his stormy attitude was telling her otherwise, she hoped it was helping.
"She wants to see you."
Haley was taken aback, "Dr. Archer? Why?"
"Damned if I know," Tommy growled. "Fed me some crap about perspectivesI don't buy a word of it."
Haley sat back and bit her lip. The idea of talking to a psychiatrist was daunting. Terrifying if she was honest with herself. Her private thoughts and hurts and struggles were exactly that, private. One of the few things that remained solely hersand she valued that too much to risk breaking down in front of a stranger because her nerves were frayed and her emotions raw.
"You don't have to go in if you don't want to."
The words were soft. He crouched down in front of her so he could catch her gaze.
She had to close her eyes against the sudden threat of tears. That was the man she'd known...that quiet balance of strength and tenderness.
How would it look if she was too scared to face something that she'd encouraged him to continue? Would she be able to look at herself in the mirror tomorrow if she refused? Would she be able to look at him?
She opened her eyes, his concerned face staring back at her. It wasn't easy to resist the urge to reach out and touch his face. But she didn't want to risk him flinching away from it. This silent gesture of support meant the world to her.
"I'll go."
"You're sure? I can march right back in there and tell that sadist to take her meddling ways and shove them up her--"
"Tommy!" A grin tugged at her lips. "I'll be alright."
He didn't look convinced but he nodded anyway and stood, moving aside for her.
Haley took a deep breath and crossed the room. She only hesitated a moment, her hand on the knob, before slipping into the office.
The first thing she noticed was the air was considerably cooler. She shivered and tugged her sleeves down.
Dr. Archer looked up from writing something in a thick folder, "Ah, Haley, come in come in. Please, take a seat."
The door shut behind her with a loud click and another shiver raced down Haley's spine. One that had nothing to do with the cool air. She slid into the overstuffed chair facing the large oak desk. It was a daunting barrier and it struck her as very impersonal.
"Thank you for taking the time to speak with me."
"It's no, ah," Haley had to clear her suddenly dry throat, "no problem, Dr. Archer."
She pointed to a water cooler in the corner beside a couch and Haley gratefully went to get a drink. Dr. Archer waited until she was back in her seat sipping from a Styrofoam cup before opening up the file on her desk.
"Tell me about your relationship with Tommy."
"Um, well we met in college..."
"You dated."
It wasn't a question. Haley blushed, "Briefly."
"Most people don't stay so close."
"Tommy isn't most people."
"Nether are you."
Haley shifted, uncomfortable. It hadn't really occurred to her that Tommy might be talking with the shrink about her. She wasn't sure why.
"How would you define your relationship today?"
She looked down, watching the water swirl in her cup. "I don't know." Barely a day passed when she didn't wonder that very thing.
"I see..."
"Look, it's...it's complicated, okay? You wouldn't understand."
Dr. Archer chuckled, "You'd be surprised. Perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to assume what I can and can't do. After all, isn't that what people do to Tommy?"
That was a slap in the face.
Haley tried not to be offended at the insinuation but it was hard. That had stung. Badly. But she wasn't one of the people who assumed things about Tommy. She didn't have to... "I know what he's capable of."
"I never said you didn't," the other woman soothed. It had the opposite effect. Haley could feel herself growing more defensive and was helpless to stop it.
"You're one of the few individuals that are truly close to Tommy right now...so in your semi-professional opinion, how is he dealing with his handicap?"
"He's not handicapped."
Dr. Archer flashed an indulgent smile, "I can appreciate your desire to defend him, Haley, but he is. Severely. And I know you know that, so don't insult your intelligence for my sake." She glanced at her file, "Let me come to the point of why I asked to speak with you. I understand that Tommy was a martial artist from a very young age...I hope you realize that has become deeply ingrained in his personality."
Haley bristled. This woman had no right to lecture heron the fact Tommy was a fighter. She had no idea. "I'm aware of that." She knew her tone was icy but couldn't bring herself to care.
The therapist gave her a frank look, "He approaches our sessions like a verbal sparring match. At first he doesn't respond at all…like he's getting a feel for his opponent. When he does answer my questions it's curt and often sarcastic. A few "experimental punches" if you will. It's only when I start to dig deeper that he lets lose and starts to fight me. But in this arena I'm the better fighter. He's in such a foul mood because his pride took a beating." She smirked, "I'm sure if we were to argue science or dinosaurs he could leave here feeling quite smug. But that's not the point, is it?"
"I don't..."
"Why do you think he keeps coming back? Because Dr. Mercer is paying for it? Come now Haley, we both know he's not that shallow. He comes back every week because he needs to fight something."
Haley was stunned. She'd never considered...
Why hadn't she thought of this sooner? She was the one who was supposed to know him the best but she felt like a megazord had just sucker punched her. How was she supposed to respond to that?
Dr. Archer spoke for her, idly spinning her pen on manicured nails. "Look, I have no problem with being Tommy's sparring partner. We could do this dance every week and that might just be enough to keep him satisfied. But I took this job to help people, not for the very substantial paycheck I take home. He doesneed to talk through all the frustration he's got bottled up and we can't do that if he insists on fighting me." She leaned closer, "You want to help him too, yes?"
Haley nodded.
"Then find him something else to fight."
Haley was quiet, weighing her options. "Me."
"No." Steel entered the other woman's voice, "You're probably the only thing that hasn't drastically changed through all of this. Don't take that away. Not yet...your role is still to vital."
"My role?"
"Just being there for him." Dr. Archer sighed and glanced past Haley to the door before focusing back on her with renewed intensity. "Tommy's a man...and they're wired differently then us women. They'd rather mull over a problem in the privacy of their own head then talk through it. While we feel the need to be loved in a deeply profound way...Tommy needs to know that he is respected. Struggling just to perform menial tasks has shaken him down to the very definition of what he believes it means to be a man. I doubt he'll ever actually sayhow much he appreciates you. But he does. Intensely."
Haley looked away...feeling an unwanted heat creeping up her cheeks.
Dr. Archer smiled at her, a knowing twinkle lighting her eyes, "Whether you realize it or not, he's still fiercely protective of you. Just the idea of bringing you in here was enough to get a fire sparking in that mockingly blank stare of his." She tilted her head, "That's something I'm guessing you've been searching for, for quite some time."
Tears were even more unwanted. Haley swiped at them in more embarrassment then anger.
Dr. Archer pulled a box of tissues from behind her desk and pushed them towards her. "Never be ashamed to cry, Haley. Tommy holds it back because he doesn't want to appear weak. And you define strength through Tommy. But tears mean you can still feel pain...it says you're still alive."
So she did cry. Hard.
TBC...
