Family Reunion
Chapter 4: Heart to Heart
Part 1
Castiel didn't know where to take Dean, all he knew was that he had to get him as far away from there as possible. He felt so much better with him in his arms, staying at Bobby's and trying to make this all work had been a bad idea. And his hunter had payed for it. What was he thinking? He should have kept his promise both to Dean and to Sam, he shouldn't have left him. And now all he could do was look back in vain and regret. He searched out for an empty motel room and found one quickly, immediately placing Dean on the bed and sitting down next to him. His wings gently unwrapped from the hunter and retreated into his vessel.
"Thanks Cas."
"I should not have left you."
"No, that needed to be done."
"What was solved? Why must you put yourself in harm's way?"
Dean looked straight in his angel's eyes.
"He knows how serious my love is for you."
"But he still does not accept it."
"I don't care," he said bitterly.
Dean winced as Castiel dabbed at his swollen lip.
"Sorry. Look what he did to you."
"It's just my lip, Cas."
"I can't bear to think what would have come next if I had not stepped in."
"You worry about me too much."
Castiel smiled, pushing his hunter down to lay flat on his back.
"You are beautiful and I'll kill anyone who abuses that."
Dean pulled Cas down to lay next to him, and after about ten minutes his angel tucked him in and wrapped his arms around the exhausted hunter.
"Go to sleep, Dean. I love you."
"Love you too."
Castiel gave him a soft and gentle kiss and Dean drifted off knowing he wouldn't leave for anything. His angel was there to hold him and stay with him through it all.
Part 2
Sam paced around the den restlessly and Bobby watched him.
"Where do you think he took him?"
"No idea. But if Dean's safe with anyone it's Cas."
"I know that. I'm just…"
"Worried. I know, Sam. He's your brother and you have every right to be."
"Is Dean okay? I mean…"
"He's fine, Sam. We got to him just in time before any real damage was done."
Sam nodded and continued pacing.
Bobby looked down at what he was holding, "Got any more calls from Gabriel?"
Sam looked down at the cell phone in his hands as if forgetting he even had it.
"No. He's busy and I don't wanna bug him. But I think we could use him more than ever right now."
"Me too, kid. Me too."
They heard loud noises upstairs and knew immediately who it was.
"Guess your dad's leaving. Not too surprised you ask me."
"I wish he would at least try. But I guess after all these years he hasn't changed."
"I'll keep on trying to get through to him, Sam. But you know how stubborn he is."
"Yeah Bobby, he smiled, Thanks for everything you've done for us already."
"No need to thank me. Your boys are the only family I got left. And I ain't gonna let you go that easy."
Sam gave Bobby a final smile before heading upstairs. After the ordeal some things needed to be discussed. And they needed to be discussed fast.
Sam really didn't feel like arguing, but he would do anything to make his father stay for a little while longer. After all, they had just gotten him back and Sam would be damned if he was gonna let him go that easily. But Sam also had to think of his brother, what this was doing to him and Cas. And he put them first, he would always put them first. His dad wasn't packing anymore when he entered. He was just standing there.
"Are you gonna leave?"
"Not sure. Bobby probably wants me too."
Sam sighed, "No he doesn't Dad, he wants us all to be a family again."
"We never were a family, Sammy."
"That's not true. Just stick around for a few more days. Please, for me?"
"I can't, Sam. I'm trying to pretend that everything's just fine but it's not. I can't accept this. I'm not accustomed to this."
"I want you to stick around because I want you to meet someone."
"Who?"
"I'm not telling you. But this person means a lot to me and if I mean a lot to you, you'll stay."
John looked up at his youngest and knew he was doing his best to beg him. He hadn't ever done much for Sam, and maybe now was the time to make it up to him. He didn't feel much like packing and hitting the road anyway. After all, he just got here. If he couldn't make things work with Dean he would definitely make things work with Sam.
"Alright. For a few more days."
"Great, Sam said excitedly, I'll go tell Bobby."
He ran back downstairs and John was faced with what could possibly be one of the worst decisions of his life. But there was no going back now.
John began to unpack the few things he had managed to pack as Bobby walked upstairs. He stood at the door watching and John continued what he was doing.
"Glad you decided to stay. Your boys need you."
"Might as well make things right with Sammy."
"And Dean."
"Bobby…"
"Don't. I don't feel much like arguing right now. Let's just keep our traps shut and get through another day."
"Where did he take him?"
"You honestly think I would tell you if I knew? What you did out there, John, was wrong. And what's worse is you did it to your own son. And I really don't have anything to say to you but that you should grow up and accept what life throws in your face."
Bobby exited and John stood there shaking his head at him and the mess he had created. Bobby had been giving him lectures about his boys since he could remember. And he had grown so accustomed to it that's all he ever expected anymore. He claimed he always knew what was best for Dean and Sam, and maybe John knew it was true somewhere deep down inside. But he would rather be shot down that accept it or admit it to himself. They were both stubborn, and someday it would be the death of both of them. John sat on his bed and thought about those wings. Weren't angels' wings supposed to be white? But they weren't. They were pitch black and he remembered how they had blocked out the sun and made him see nothing else, feel nothing else but how truly scared he felt when he realized the damage they could do and the sheer power of them. They were…They were…
Beautiful
Part 3
Sam was still pretty frantic but he realized waiting around for Dean and Castiel didn't mean they were gonna show up anytime soon. So he crashed in the room he shared with his absent angel and blocked out everything else easily to think of him. How he lit up his life with smiles and sexiness and candy. How they wrapped their arms around each other at night and reminisced upon past events, past things they had done. How they would sit under the stars and gaze up at fireworks when New Years came. How he was always there when he needed someone, and even when he didn't. But not now. Now he was off on his own little adventure, and it made Sam sick to his stomach. Like eating too much candy but wanting to eat more cause at least he felt love and happiness when he did. He closed his eyes and saw his face but could not bear it. Cause he wasn't here right now. His father was here instead. His son of a bitch of a dad was here making all their lives hell. And why had he begged him to stay? For Gabriel. Which was the most foolish thing he could have possibly done. Dad wouldn't accept Dean and Cas just because he and Gabe were together. It would be double the hatred, double the arguments, double the pain. It would be suicide.
He sighed and rolled over away from the door, "I miss you, Gabe."
He closed his eyes and let sleep take him. And it took him where Gabriel was in the past, in that candy store they had found in Atlantic City. He was in the lollipop section and he had been there for the past twenty minutes.
"What the hell is taking you so long?"
"You can't rush candy shopping, Sammy. I need to find the perfect lollipop."
Sam laughed and wandered back to the chocolate aisle. He had to find the perfect chocolate box himself. He remembered it so clearly. They had been together for a year. And they could have been anywhere in the world but instead there were there. In this dinky little colorful candy shop that didn't have anything special to it except memories and his angel. Gabriel unwrapped a blueberry flavored lollipop and started sucking on it.
"Hey buddy, you have to pay for that."
"Hold your horses, you'll get your money when I'm done."
The way his angel spoke restrained the owner from saying anything further, but suspicious eyes were still on his every move. He made a disgusted face and dropped the lollipop on the highly polished white floor, walking further down the aisle to look at another brand. Sam payed for the chocolates and watched his every move. Gabriel picked up a purple lollipop and flung the money at the owner, disappearing instantly. Sam lingered outside till he showed up, presenting him with a now gift wrapped lollipop.
"For you."
Sam smiled and accepted, handing him the chocolates, which were accepted with wide eyes and a drooling mouth.
"My fave kind, Sam. How did you know?"
"We've been together for a year. I should know."
The angel popped one of the chocolates in his mouth and kissed his hunter, a chocolaty sweet and gooey and perfect kiss. Sam licked his lips and unwrapped the lollipop. It was purple and he wondered whether it tasted like grape. He licked it and liked what he tasted, although he wasn't too sure what the flavor was. He leaned forward to kiss Gabe this time and now his head was spinning and his tongue exploding with all the different tastes in his mouth. Gabriel always had a particular taste, like bubble gum and raspberries, and that paired with the chocolate and unknown flavor proved to be beyond delicious. They kissed passionately several more times, experimenting with the flavors and taking pleasure in little moments such as these. Where everything else seemed to melt away like ice cream and the only certain things were lollipops and kisses in the sunshine. The only certain thing was Gabriel.
"For my hunter, he motioned to the lollipop, the sweetest candy I know."
Sam smiled and melted as the final kiss exploded like fireworks and lit up the sky with so much light it was blinding.
His eyes flicked open as he awakened. He heard voices across the hall and wished to have the strength to get up and welcome them back, but he just wanted to lie back and relax and think of Gabe. His one, his only, true love. He wanted to reminisce on the tastes in his mouth, think about what it would be like to go back there. To leave everything behind in the dust and maybe even take Dean and Castiel with them. With all of them together it would be perfect. More than perfect. It would be like the candy store to last a lifetime. And those moments and memories would be his. They would be at peace like that. He rolled over on his stomach and tried to close his eyes through the sunlight filtering through the curtains, urging him to get up and welcome the new day. But he wanted it to be over. Not just for him but for everyone. He wanted his candy man.
Sam heard someone enter the room and he already knew who it was, just like he knew when Gabriel was there. It didn't even have to be the rustle of feathers, it was just a sort of angelic feeling. He was aware Dean felt it as well. Without turning over he was the first to speak.
"Glad you're back."
There was silence but the tired hunter knew Castiel didn't depart.
"Is Dean okay?"
"Yes, he is fine."
"What about you?"
"I am fine, Sam."
He still was too tired to turn over, but when he opened his eyes Cas was there in front of him, looking down at him in a concerned manner.
"Is everything alright with you, Sam? You do not look well."
He looked away from the angel, "I miss Gabe."
Castiel leaned down, "You dream of him don't you?"
"Yes" he admitted, all the time."
"He will be back, Sam. I know you know this."
He nodded and pushed himself up to be closer to the angel. It was the only comfort he could get right now. He felt guilty because he should be thinking about Dean, but Cas didn't seem to mind. He knew more about Gabriel than Sam did and knew perfectly well that his absence was eating away at him.
"You should eat something. Gabe would want me to look after you."
"You always do, Cas", Sam smiled and pushed himself up.
To his relief Castiel hugged him tightly and Sam hugged him back.
"Thanks Cas."
"It's my pleasure. Now go see Dean. He asked to see you."
Sam finally found himself having the strength to stand up. His brother needed him, and he was going to be there for him. Because that's what brothers did.
Part 4
Cas disappeared and reappeared in Bobby's kitchen, where he was currently making dinner. Whatever it was it certainly smelled delicious to him. It was now mid afternoon he realized as he looked outside the little window. The angel dreaded to think how dinner would be tonight, a part of him told him to just have Dean eat upstairs so he didn't get more upset than he already was. But his hunter wanted to make this work, wanted to get through to his father, and wanted Castiel to understand that. And he really was trying to.
Bobby jumped when he turned around, "When did you get back?"
"About five minutes ago."
"Dean come back with you?"
The angel nodded and moved out of the hunter's way so he could grab the salt and pepper shakers.
"Hand me that knife would ya?"
Castiel did what he was told and watched the hunter carefully.
"What are you making?"
"Turkey with mashed potatoes and stuffing. I know it's past thanksgiving but I'm in a cookin mood today."
"It smells good. Do you require assistance?"
"You sure ya don't wanna be up there with Dean?"
"He needs some alone time with Sam."
"And how's Sam doing?"
"He misses Gabriel."
"Well, maybe tonight's dinner will cheer him up a little. Think you can follow a recipe?"
Cas looked at the book curiously.
"Perhaps."
"Good. Cause I need you to make the gravy. Get the bacon out of the fridge and the bowls should be in the top cupboard over there."
The angel got straight to work and besides having to ask Bobby a few things, was able to manage basically everything else on his own. He actually kind of enjoyed making food. He found it kept his mind off of things he didn't want to think about because he concentrated fully on cooking. He was glad that the hunter let him help and figured this was probably why Bobby liked cooking. It was a great stress reducer.
"You're doing great, Cas."
He smiled and scooted closer to Bobby.
"Is this why you like to cook?"
Bobby knew what Cas meant, "Yeah, it keeps my mind off of things I'd rather not think about."
When he finished with the gravy he started to clean up so Bobby could concentrate fully on the turkey.
"Gee you're a huge help. I'd love it if you stuck around and helped me all the time."
"I will be sticking around for the next few weeks. Well, he thought of Dean, I hope."
"I hope so too, Cas. Even though I hate seeing Dean like this."
"Where does this go?"
"Bottom shelf."
Bobby took a break so he could ask the angel what had been on his mind all day.
"Do you think this is gonna work out?"
They both looked at each other and the hunter could have sworn he saw doubt there in his eyes. And not just a little.
"I want it to work out for Dean."
"That's not what I asked."
"I truly don't know…"
"You don't believe it anymore than I do."
Castiel looked away and glanced outside the window again, though he could feel Bobby's eyes on him.
"Maybe you shouldn't have brought him back. Maybe it's all useless."
Castiel still could not meet his gaze.
"Maybe we should start thinking about what's really best for that boy up there."
Cas looked back, "You said yourself he needs his father."
"Needs, but I never said that would be the best option."
"What shall I make next?" Cas figured cooking was certainly better than talking about this, than telling Bobby what he really felt.
"I know you care about him, I care about him too. And that's why I'm willing to give this another go, for him. But I need to know you'll step in like the last time if things get rough."
"You know I will, Bobby. Though I assure you, he stepped closer to Bobby and appeared like he was threatening him as well as John, that the next time that happens, I won't be so nice."
Bobby nodded and realized that was the end of the discussion. So he turned back around to his recipe and watched the angel out of the corner of his eye.
"Good. Cause tonight's gonna be when all hell breaks loose."
He nearly thought he said the last thing in his mind, but he realized he didn't when Castiel answered him.
"And I'll be that hell."
John entered the room and Bobby and Castiel didn't even notice because they were so engrossed in their separate recipes that if a bomb went off they probably wouldn't even notice that.
"When's dinner ready?"
Nothing happened to show that they both knew he was there.
"Hello? You guys just gonna ignore me?"
The angel was the first to notice him, and instantly got Bobby's attention.
"What do ya want, John?"
John didn't step closer cause Bobby had that certain glint in his eye, "When's dinner ready?"
"Couple hours."
"I'm gonna go back upstairs then."
Castiel kept his distance with everything in him. Cause what he really wanted to do was throw that man against the wall and slit his throat open and do it all for the man he loved more than anything else in the world.
"I'll call you down when it's all ready."
Bobby wanted to tell John not to disturb Dean but he feared if he even brought his name up he would regret it instantly, cause the hunter likely would not take his advice. So he just kept his trap shut and hoped Dean was left alone till dinner. He noticed how John kept his gaze away from the angel and was particularly glad for that. No fights in the kitchen was a rule he enforced highly. Cooking was escapism and food was peace, and Bobby believed this more than anything. No fights in his kitchen.
John nodded and they both heard him walk back upstairs. He and Cas exchanged looks and continued cooking. John could hear his sons talking upstairs and went back downstairs to the kitchen cause he then realized there were some things he wanted to say to that angel. Calmly for now. He assumed the angel had already felt him coming because they were both facing him when he walked back in. Bobby's arms were crossed and Castiel's hands were at the ready in case he needed to do some real damage. Just not in the kitchen, he remembered what Bobby had told him only minutes before.
"Where'd you take him?"
"John..." Bobby warned.
"No, he put his foot down, I want to know where that angel took my son."
"You don't have the right to know that, John."
He stepped closer to the angel, "Tell me or I'll rip your head off."
"Give it your best shot human."
John stepped back but only a few inches.
"Whether you like it or not Dean is my son."
"You were in hell for how long. You stopped being his father a long time ago."
"I came back for him. And family trumps everything. Even death", he glanced over at Bobby, who had said that a long time ago.
"I have been there for him because you were not. If you expect me to abandon him now just because you came back…Think again, John Winchester."
"You will never be a part of this family. You're an angel. And you're not welcome around my boy."
"Family doesn't end in blood, John. And Castiel was officially a part of this family the second he fell for Dean."
John looked up at the angel in shock, "You fell for him?"
It was true he didn't know much about angels, but he knew all about falling. And what it truly meant.
"Yes."
"But you're not fully human."
"Some of my abilities were restored."
"Why did you fall?"
"I fell in love with Dean."
"That's not possible. Angels can't feel a damn thing."
Bobby stepped forward to put his arm around the angel, who John was still staring at in utter disbelief. An angel had fallen for his son? Not much could trump that in amazement and shock.
"It was love at first sight, John. If you were here you would've known that."
John finally understood. Why this angel was here, why he was so close to Dean. Their being together was more than just love. It was…They were linked, bonded in ways beyond belief. It was an angelic bond. It was almost like they were soul mates.
But that still was wrong in his eyes.
"Did it hurt?"
"Yes, but Dean's love wounded me and hurt me more."
"What do you mean?"
"Your son's beauty is blinding to me. His heart, his soul is almost angelic. I fell for him and him alone."
"What does that mean?" John thought the angel was gonna say his son was an angel next.
"It's not what you think. He's just talking about love," Bobby answered for him.
"How long ago did you fall?"
"About a year."
John nodded and sank down into one of the kitchen chairs. This was all getting to be too much. What must he endure next?
"Are we not gonna argue tonight? Cause if we're not I'd really like to get back to my cookin."
Bobby eyed John, who just sat there like a lump, he looked too weary to fight tonight. But Castiel confronted him anyway.
"You better be careful on what you say to me and Dean from now on."
John looked up into his vivid blue eyes, only half paying attention.
"Just because I'm not fully angel anymore doesn't mean I can't make you beg for mercy."
He walked out of the room and back upstairs to his hunter. He was in the mood to fight if no one else was. But Bobby wanted peace, and after everything the hunter had done for them, he would give it to him. At least until dinner.
Part 5
Sam entered Dean's room as soon as he heard Cas walk downstairs. His brother was lying down on the bed, eyes closed and on his side.
"Hey bro, he said softly, you awake?"
His brother shifted slightly and grunted, eyes finally flicking open.
"Sam?"
"Yeah, it's me.
He sat down on the bed and waited patiently for Dean to push himself up into a sitting position.
"Cas said you wanted to see me."
Dean nodded and leaned against Sam, which made them both fully realize how exhausted he was.
"You should get some rest, Dean. I can come back later."
"No. I don't want to sleep."
He looked closer at Sam and saw the outlines of circles growing under his eyes.
"You don't look so good yourself, Sammy."
Sam sighed, "I'm here to talk about you, Dean. Don't worry about me."
"It's Gabe. Isn't it?"
Sam felt an instinct to pull away cause he really didn't want to talk about this, but by now his brother was leaning heavily into him and he didn't have the heart to push him away. So he gave in.
"I can't sleep, I can hardly eat, and I don't have the strength to argue. Hell, I can't do anything without him, Dean."
"He wouldn't want you to miss him so much."
"Easy for you to say. How'd you feel if Cas was gone?"
"I'd feel sick" Dean admitted.
"Precisely."
Dean pulled away slightly and continued to look at Sam. Although now his expression wasn't concern for Sam, but deep sadness and loss that Sam had rarely seen before.
"Dean? What's wrong, man?"
"I don't know what to do, Sammy."
"What do you mean?"
Tears started to fall from Dean's eyes but Sam wiped them away and urged him to continue.
"I don't know what to do anymore. I love Cas but should I feel guilty that I'm with him?"
"No no no, Dean. Don't ever say that."
"Cause Dad doesn't like him. He doesn't want me to be happy."
"Screw Dad, Dean. Who gives a crap what he thinks anyway. You think I feel guilty being with Gabe?"
"Do you?"
"Of course not", Sam smiled and wrapped his arms around his elder brother, pulling him into a tight hug.
"You're happy when you're with Castiel, and that makes me happy. And you're not gonna throw that away just cause Dad came back and thinks he's boss. I won't let you."
Dean leaned further into Sam.
"Thanks Sammy."
"I love you, Dean. And I'm going to fight for what you have with Cas. Cause your happiness means everything to me big brother. I've always got your back."
Sam pulled away and forced him to lie down. Dean tried to pull him down too and he allowed it to happen.
"Get some sleep, Dean."
"Don't leave, Sammy."
Sam smiled and embraced his brother, "I won't."
So the two brothers lied next to each other, Sam's arm wrapped around Dean and Dean leaning heavily into Sam. The eldest Winchester fell asleep first, but Sam followed soon after. Even though his thoughts and dreams were plagued with Gabriel. Like always.
Part 6
Sam's eyes flicked open in a world a million miles away. Flicked open to find his angel staring down at him, smelling like strawberries and chocolate. It was daylight and they were lying back on the hood of some car. Where he was Sam didn't care, all he cared about was that Gabe was with him now. And that was better than anything. He always knew when he was dreaming, Gabe always had some way of showing it to him. It was the only way he was able to see him at the moment, when he came into his dreams and took over, taking him away to some mystical place. A mystical place that always had some sort of exquisite candy shop nearby. He pushed himself up and Gabriel didn't pull away in time so they ended up kissing in what Sam felt hadn't been for so long.
"Mmm, Sam moaned, you taste like strawberry shortcake."
His angel smiled and pointed at a plate next to him.
"I brought a piece for you."
He dug into it cause he was starving and Gabriel always brought him the best food. He liked seeing the way his face lit up when he dug into it happily. Sam had as much of a sweet tooth as he did, and they often spent their days searching for new desserts and taste testing them, blending the different flavors in their mouths while kissing. It was heaven for Sam, and for Gabe, well, it was better than heaven. He finally found a soul mate in Sam, someone who enjoyed the finer things and little moments of life. Someone whose kisses were so damn delicious. When the angel was with him he felt like he didn't even need candy anymore, cause he would pick Sam over cake and lollipops and Hershey's kisses any day of the week.
Gabriel licked his hunter's sticky fingers and pulled closer, "Did you like it, cupcake?"
Sam grinned and kissed him, reminiscing on the day when he had first called him that. He had hated it from the get go, but the more he fell head over heels in love with him, the more he accepted it and grew to love it as much as he loved everything else about Gabe. He remembered this was a dream.
"When are you gonna come?"
"Soon Sam. I'm just wrapping a few things up."
"Please hurry, Sam pleaded, I can't live without you."
"I noticed. But you have to hang on. Cause when I get there I want you to be well rested and happy."
Sam nodded and frowned, not wanting to be plunged back into reality or even just the nothingness of sleep.
"I love you, Sam."
"I love you too, Gabe."
"I'm sorry I can't stay here with you longer."
They kissed one last time and his angel's fingers found themselves on his forehead. He waited and dreaded the moment when the feeling of sweet dreams was gone.
Coming up in Chapter 5…
Dean's stress reaches a high level and Cas focuses entirely on his hunter's well being, Bobby tries to pull the family back together, Sam spends some more dream time with Gabriel, and John learns more than he wants to know…
