*There's not a lot I can say about this chapter without giving a ton away. Thank you to everyone that has been following this story. Your support is partially what's keeping this story going. That and the fact that I really enjoy writing this. Happy Reading!
(Kate)
Kate sat in the waiting room in the ER, staring at her hands numbly and going over the past half hour in her mind. Once the ambulance had arrived, she'd fought the paramedics until they agreed to let her ride to the hospital with Castle. She'd stayed by his side until Josh had appeared, telling her that she couldn't come any farther. He'd taken her by the shoulders and guided her to a chair, promising that he'd take care of Castle. Then he was gone. Now that she was alone, she didn't know what to do.
"Excuse me, Miss." Kate looked up at the nurse that had interrupted her reverie. "Are you alright?" the nurse asked. "Do you need something for your hands?"
Kate looked at the nurse, then at her hands, which were still covered in blood, then back at the nurse. "Oh…no," she replied. "It's, um…this isn't mine," she explained.
The nurse was about to speak when another voice caught Kate's attention. "Beckett!"
She turned to see Ryan and Esposito running towards her, twin expressions of worry on their faces. Esposito reached her first, taking her hands in his and checking them for wounds. "Damn, Beckett, what happened?" he asked.
Kate took a shaky breath. "Castle," she whispered. "He…he got shot…"
Ryan took her right hand, examining it the way Esposito had. "Is any of this yours?" he asked, concern evident in his voice.
Kate shook her head, fighting back tears. "No," she whimpered. "It's all…it's all his."
"Kate…" Esposito touched her cheek briefly. "What exactly happened? Last we knew, you were going back to the precinct to go over Avery's financials…"
Kate cleared her throat, attempting to keep her voice steady. "I met Castle at Remy's for lunch," she admitted. "I knew he'd been taking being kicked off the case pretty hard, so I took the financial records with me. We went over them together; found a couple of decent leads. Then…" She took a shuddering breath, trying to compose herself. "Then I asked him to take a walk with me. I…I wanted to talk to him alone, so we went to this nearby park…" Her voice broke, and she struggled to finish the story.
"And that's where he got shot?" Ryan asked, receiving a nod from Kate.
"Becks?" Esposito started. "I know this is kind of a bad time, but you said you got a couple solid leads from Avery's financials?"
Kate nodded again. "The files are in my purse," she said, gesturing to the floor. "Avery withdrew fifty thousand dollars from his bank account around two weeks ago. It also appears that he was a regular at this pub, Mulrooney's. He was there at least once a week."
Ryan finally sat down next to her, flipping through the files. "We didn't get anything substantial from the canvass, unfortunately."
Esposito sighed. "Yeah. A few tenants from the floors below Avery said they've seen a girl using the fire escape quite a bit in the last few months, but that she's been mysteriously absent for the past two weeks." He leaned back against the row of chairs. "Again, nothing from the night that Avery was killed."
Kate sighed distractedly. "Of course not," she muttered. The trio lapsed into silence, staring at the double doors that led into the operating rooms. In the heavy silence, Kate felt her guilt settle in her chest like lead. This was entirely her fault. If anything happened to him, if he didn't make it…
"Kate!" They all looked up to see Lanie running into the ER, Gates hot on her heels. Lanie skidded to a stop in front of Kate, immediately grabbing her hands and checking them over. "What happened? They said there was a shooting; that you and Castle were at the hospital…"
"I'd like to know that myself, Detective," Gates said, frowning as she approached.
Kate cleared her throat, trying to hide the fear in her voice. "I met Castle for lunch. We discussed the case a little," she explained, ignoring Gates' frown of disapproval. She ran one of her hands through her hair. "Um, we went for a walk to talk some things over, and Castle got shot..." She trailed off, wiping away a stray tear.
"Kate," Lanie said gently, "is any of this blood yours?"
Kate shook her head, a few traitorous tears slipping down her cheeks. "No," she whispered. "All Castle's…"
Lanie nodded, grabbing Kate by the elbows and pulling her up. "C'mon," she said, pulling her away from Gates and the boys.
"Where are we going?" Kate asked, reluctant to leave the waiting area.
"We're gonna wash this blood off, okay?" Lanie said, softly. She let go of Kate for a moment, detouring to the nurses' station. She returned with a sponge and led Kate to the nearest bathroom.
Kate allowed her tears to fall silently as Lanie washed the blood from her hands. Lanie looked up at her when one of her tears fell on Lanie's hand. "How you holding up, sweetie?"
Kate bit her lip, holding back the sobs that were threatening to overwhelm her. She looked over at Lanie, tears falling faster and thicker. "This is all my fault," she managed before giving in.
Lanie held her tightly, rubbing soothing circles on her back. "Shh…" she murmured. "It's okay, honey. It's okay…he'll be okay."
Kate pulled back, tears still flowing. "What if he's not, though, Lanie?" she asked. "What if he d…dies? What if I'm the reason he gets taken away from his family forever?"
Lanie's expression hardened slightly. "Katherine Beckett, this is not your fault, got it?"
"But, Lanie…"
"No buts," Lanie interrupted. She arched an eyebrow at Kate. "Did you pull that trigger?" she asked.
Kate sniffed. "Well, no, but…"
"Then this isn't your fault," Lanie said.
"But, Lanie, I was the one that asked him out to lunch," Kate protested. "I asked him to go for that walk. I took him out into the open, knowing full well that there was a sniper out there looking to kill him."
Lanie sighed, setting the sponge in the sink. "Kate, did you know that Castle still blames himself for you getting shot?"
Kate's eyes widened. "Why?" she asked, stunned. "He had nothing to do with what happened to me. He knows that."
"Exactly," Lanie agreed. "Now, how is that any different from what happened today?"
"I…I guess it isn't," Kate murmured, looking down.
"Damn straight it isn't," Lanie insisted. "You had no control over what happened today. That psycho was gonna try to get at Castle no matter where he was or who was with him. This was not your fault, you got that?"
Kate nodded numbly, but the guilt still gnawed at her heart.
"Good." Lanie retrieved the sponge from the sink, rinsing the blood off of it before bringing it up to Kate's face. "Close your eyes," she instructed. Kate did as she was told, allowing Lanie to wash away the blood she'd transferred to her face, along with what remained of her makeup. Lanie eventually pulled the sponge away, handing Kate a paper towel so that she could dry her face and hands. Lanie sighed. "You still look like a hot mess, but at least you don't look like an extra from a horror movie anymore." She shook her head at Kate. "I don't even wanna know how you got blood in your hair, so I'mma let you handle that later."
Kate chuckled weakly. "Thanks, Lanie."
Lanie squeezed her hand. "No problem, girl. Let's get back out there," she suggested. "It's been long enough; maybe there's some news about how Castle's doing."
The first thing Kate noticed when they returned to the waiting room was that Gates was gone. Ryan and Esposito looked up as Kate approached, Lanie close behind her.
"What happened to Gates?" Lanie asked, sitting down beside Ryan.
"Went through those doors a few minutes ago with Martha and Alexis," Esposito explained, nodding to the double doors.
"Wait," Kate said. "Martha and Alexis are here?"
Ryan nodded. "Yeah. They got here just after the two of you went to the bathroom. A nurse took 'em right back," he muttered. "Because they're family, ya know," he added, a hint of bitterness in his voice.
Lanie raised an eyebrow at him. "What's with the attitude, Kev? Castle's family deserves to know what's going on."
"Well, yeah, I know," he said grudgingly. "But…" He paused, looking around at them. "We're his family, too, right?" He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I guess it just bugs me that Gates got to go back there before we did. She doesn't even like him."
Lanie patted his shoulder comfortingly. "We're all worried about him, baby. But it shouldn't be long now."
"God, I hope not," Esposito grumbled. "I can't take much more of this."
Kate sighed, sitting down next to him. "I just need to know that he's okay," she whispered, more to herself than to anyone else.
The four of them lapsed into an uneasy silence, all eyes trained on the double doors. They all stood as one when Josh reentered the waiting room, his expression unreadable.
Kate reached Josh first, her friends right on her heels. "How is he?" she asked breathlessly, her heart in her throat.
Josh hesitated, not meeting Kate's eye. "I'm sorry, Kate," he said softly. "I did everything I could."
Kate felt three hands grip her arms, helping to hold her upright. "No," she whispered, shaking her head. Tears started falling involuntarily. "No," she repeated, sinking to her knees. "Tell me he's gonna make it," she begged. "Josh, tell me he's gonna be okay."
Josh looked down at her sadly, a tear winding its way down his face. "I can't...tell you that," he said, his words shattering her heart and her world. "I'm sorry. He's gone…"
"No!" she screamed, collapsing into herself. Kate could feel arms around her; holding her, comforting her. Ryan or Lanie. Maybe both. "No," she sobbed, burying her face in one of their shoulders. "No, no, no, no, no, no…"
*Welp, that is that. See why I couldn't really say much at the beginning? And you all hate me even more now. I'm totally okay with that. Also, I know this is rather short for this story, the shortest chapter I've written so far, but there wasn't much more I could think to add to this scene. I'm happy with it, and I hope you at least sorta enjoyed it…
